Sh*t Grad Applicants Say

[crazygirl2012]

"I hate you! You ruined my life!"

Text message to me from a fellow PhD applicant, two hours after I told him about Grad Cafe--which is approximately how long it took him to become addicted to checking the Results page for new submissions. Welcome to the club!

Everyone around here hates me now too! I put a "read at your own risk" disclaimer on it when I posted it on Facebook.

Edited February 4, 2012 by crazygirl2012

[gellert]

I feel like resurrecting this thread.    (Only one of these has actually been said by me.  I'm not going to admit which one.)

 

"Would it be weird if I just went ahead and attached my CV?"

 

"Can I send in eight LoRs?  MORE IS MORE, RIGHT?  :DDDDDD"

 

"I found my POI on facebook.  We like all the same bands!  Clearly we're an awesome fit.  I should get accepted no problem.  Just gotta drop some Arcade Fire lyrics in my personal statement, amirite?"

 

"Should I retake chemistry while I have time off?  I mean, I got a B in that class, you know...."

Edited September 13, 2013 by gellert

[Reki]

"I got x/x/x (Q/V/A), should I take the GRE again?"

 

"I should really stop checking my email every 5 minutes.... One more time!"

[Andean Pat]

"OMG this is so frustrating! Every school has accepted me! I want to kill myself! What would you do????"

[researchrelatedanxiety]

"Why didnt i major in business"

 

"Screw this, I'm getting an MSW"

[tcmazer]

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"

"Is 10 schools too little?  What if I don't get in anywherrrrrrrrrre!!!!!"

[gellert]

"Maybe I should pull a Walter White to pay all my grad app fees.  Wanna be my Jesse?"

 

^^^^ and if you've been watching regularly, you know how THAT ends.  

[klondike]

This page is great. It should be resurrected.

 

In phone call with POI:

*tries not to talk about something I read on her twitter*

[gellert]

"I haven't started my statement of purpose yet because I'm worried it won't be perfect."

[Monochrome Spring]

"I've already picked out the apartment that I'll live at when I go to [X] university. It's only a [Y] minute walk to campus and there are 2 different bus routes close by."
 

[socioholic]

"would you read my [random application document no one else cares about]?"

"hey professor X, I know we haven't spoken in 10 years but could you write a letter detailing how awesome I am? And I need it by the end of the week, mkay."

"Should I even bother? V169, Q169, AW 5.5"

Loved one: "I'm sure you'll get in, just think positive."

Me: "the acceptance rates are like 5%, my gre score wasnt perfect, my writing sample was garbage, my SOP made no sense, im old, I suck, im just being realistic."

Loved one: :/

Edited November 13, 2013 by socioholic

[MassAppeal]

Oh Lord, I'm reading these and noticing a lot of things that've fallen out of my mouth lately. Glad I saw this before the holidays and annoyed everyone!!  D:  I guess it's a good time to start rehearsing my speech for the inevitable questions.. hmm...

[SportPsych30]

"Just waiting on my Letters of Rec..."


Friends: "So where have you gotten into so far?"
Me: "Won't know until well into next semester"



11:11 rolls around my clock "I wish that I get into every school that I applied for."

[StatsNerd]

12:00: "Feeling pretty confident... almost worried about getting TOO MANY interviews and then having to choose between interviews that fall on the same day. Why don't all the schools have their interview dates posted yet?? I want to start scheduling flights!"

 

1:00, same day: "Who the hell am I kidding? I'll be lucky if I get ANY interviews. I just re-read the SOP I already submitted to schools and now I want to die. What was I thinking writing that garbage?!?"

 

1:30, same day: "Why haven't my letter writers submitted all their letters yet? Should I send another reminder? Should I stop by my adivsor's house to see if wants me to drop the to-be-mailed letters in the mail? Can I trust anyone??"

 

4:00, same day: "As if it even MATTERS if my letters writers get their letters in on time. I'm not getting in anywhere anyway. I should just tell them not to even bother." 

 

 

...you get the point. 

[TravelBug92]

(after getting into first choice school) "I'm really anxious to hear from the other schools I applied to."

"I applied to (insert multiple highly ranked schools in my field) but I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting in there."

"I can't afford to go out this weekend, I have like $1000 worth of graduate school applications to pay for." (not me, but a friend applying to 13 programs)

[gellert]

"Do you think my GPA is high enough to get into [highly ranked school]?  Will you read my diversity statement?"

 

*when schools make you list the courses and grades, a la MIT and Harvard*  "...fuck.  I forgot I got a B/C/whatever in that class. Now I'm NEVER going to get in!"

[macmc]

Half the time: "Psh, my statement and my research interests are AMAZING. I might as well buy that Harvard sweatshirt now!"

Half the time: "At least I have a job, for when I don't get in anywhere."

[Generic_Applicant]

" I should just give up hope now and save myself the trouble. Yep, I'll do that. I give up"

[gellert]

Will you read draft 8 of my SOP?

[SportPsych30]

"Hold on, I have to check my email real quick"..... repeat

[gellert]

"Hold on, I have to check my email real quick"..... repeat

 

lol yes.     Or checking app status page to make sure everything is in.

[jean21]

Commute to work:  "I think I'm gonna hear something today.  If not today, definitely this week.  I'm feeling good."

 

Commute home:  "It's probably best if I don't get in anywhere, I'm not cut out for grad school.  What does it matter, I’m not gonna get accepted anyway."

[DropTheBase]

Applicant: "Will my stats be enough for schools A, B or C?"

 

GradCafe responses, by category!:

 

Different applicant, same season (worse stats): "Wow! with those stats you definitely should apply!"

Different applicant, same season (better stats, will certainly be admitted to schools A, B and C): "It's about fit, not ranking." 

Different applicant, same season, just submitted 2 applications (stats irrelevant): "It's about fit, not ranking. Your GRE scores might be a little low."

Already attending: "you have a chance."

Lurking professor: "I don't care about your GRE scores."

 

What do they all have in common? None of them know what schools A, B or C look for in an applicant.

 

 

DTB

[pohks]

lol yes.     Or checking app status page to make sure everything is in.

Oh no, I am sorry - I accidentally downvoted your post when I was trying to hit 'quote'. 

 

I keep checking the app status page at least twice a day just to make sure that the status of any of the required elements hasn't magically changed from complete to incomplete. 

[gellert]

Oh no, I am sorry - I accidentally downvoted your post when I was trying to hit 'quote'. 

 

I keep checking the app status page at least twice a day just to make sure that the status of any of the required elements hasn't magically changed from complete to incomplete. 

 

No worries!  Looks like someone already fixed it.

 

And yeppp, same here.  Totally irrational, but there you have it.