Impostor Syndrome

[splitends]

I've always been relatively confident in my choice to go to graduate school and in my ability to do well in my field. After getting into several top schools, I was feeling even more so. But since I've started visiting schools, I've started developing some serious impostor syndrome. I don't know if it's from having to repeat my somewhat shaky research interests over and over again, or from meeting so many super accomplished prospective students with really interesting and/or well thought out plans for grad school, but I am definitely starting to feel like maybe I am not ready for this.

Has anyone else dealt with these feelings? Do they go away at any point? Any tips for managing them?

[Eigen]

I think pretty much every grad student gets them at some point or another. Mine seem to come and go, depending on how well my research is going. I think it's more just getting used to them being there, and telling yourself that all you can do is your best.

We used to have a huge thread sticked on Imposter Syndrome over on the PhD Comics graduate forum, but it's since been taken down due to hackers and spam, sadly.

[CarlieE]

I think I.S can have some benefits actually.. That little (LITTLE) bit of insecurity can act as a fuel to keep pushing us to do better, revise, improve, rewrite - whatever. And it helps keep us modest and thereby open to other people's ideas and thoughts. I think having that little insecure voice in the back (very back) of our minds can act to prevent us from becoming over-confident and arrogant.

[go3187]

Those feelings come and go for me too... they usually rear their head whenever I achieve something.

I haven't re-read this recently, but I remember liking this Nature article on the topic:

http://www.nature.com/naturejobs/2009/090521/full/nj7245-468a.html

[newms]

It happens to most, if not all, of us at some point. Just keep pushing ahead - eventually the feeling will subside.

[surefire]

Those feelings come and go for me too... they usually rear their head whenever I achieve something.

I haven't re-read this recently, but I remember liking this Nature article on the topic:

http://www.nature.co...j7245-468a.html

I really enjoyed that piece! Thank you very much for sharing!

It's definitely something worth steeling yourself against, or developing strategies for. How stressful that it can set in at the application stage, before the first year even begins!

Funny enough, reflecting back on a recent conversation, I suppose that the imposter symptoms have weaseled in already, albeit innocuously... I was talking to a previous MA supervisor about having a couple of offers and I said something to the effect of : "Yeah, I'm a lucky little scholar to have options!" And she called me on it! She said, "Why are you diminutising?! You can't fool me, I KNOW the effort that this took and I know the competitiveness of your programs!"

I'm going to have to work on my self-advocacy... but it's nice to have connections to profs that can identify imposter syndrome when it creeps in and to help show it the door!

[joejoe]

Such feelings come and go. Remember that your decisions should not be based on emotions and such feelings.

[MoJingly]

My "impostor syndrome" has yet to leave... but I've learned to laugh at myself and keep pushing on. I ask stupid questions and then usually find out that people are more than willing to help. If you knew everything already, there would be no reason to be in school!

Also, the only way to improve it to surround yourself with people better than you.

[aidamisky]

I started having this feeling when visiting graduate schools too! I think for me it's a combination of unsure research interests (like you said), and suddenly being surrounded by other future graduate students who seem to know exactly what their plan is.

I talked to one of the graduate students at my university about how everyone else seems sure of their research interests already, and his response was, "Yeah, but 90% of them are wrong." Making a 5-year commitment to a certain project is a big deal, and it's ok to take some time with that. Especially if their undergrad research is not in the same area as their grad research. That's my plan, anyway

Also, there's a guy in electrical engineering at my university who's one of the smartest people that I know. I figured out how he learns so quickly when he asked me to teach him some materials science concepts for one of his projects. He asked lots of really simple questions. I didn't know the answer to some of them, because they were "easy" questions that I would have been embarrassed to ask in class... which is actually why I didn't know the answer. So I also feel that being afraid to ask an "easy" question is a) very common, even among people who people think, "well I wouldn't be afraid to ask questions," and one of the biggest obstacles to actually learning things.

[aidamisky]

My b turned into a smiley face with sunglasses. Interesting.

[1Q84]

I think I'm already feeling this. The first night after I accepted an offer, I couldn't sleep because I was terrified out of my mind. I just lay in bed thinking WHAT HAVE I DONE?

 

Anyone else feeling completely and totally inadequate for no reason?

[SublimePZ]

I know them feels.

 

Talking to the professors that wrote my LORs (and thus am reasonably close with), they said that many grad students go through this, so I'm (and you! and the reader of this!) not alone. You just have to remember that you were chosen for a reason - these are not decisions that people make lightly, so you can be confident in your abilities!

 

One of the professors also gave me a bit of hilarious advice: Fake it till you make it. It seems oddly apt...

[serenade]

Yes, yes, yes. I look at the CV's of the grad students already in the program and wonder how the          I ever got accepted to this place. 

[Lycaon]

Yep, regularly, and I haven't even started my program yet. But hearing about others' experiences with imposter syndrome has helped.

 

This podcast in particular helped loads:

http://phdinprogress.com/phd-017-were-not-morons-facing-impostor-syndrome/

 

Never forget, we're not morons!

[dr. t]

Just remember:

 

[fayetaver]

This is me entirely and whats worse is that I'm around super-confident IR elites. So, so, playing the cuckoo role right now.

[windrainfireandbooks]

Oh dear, I am having a serious case of imposter syndrome and I haven't even started my program yet. I know I am not alone though, and that many people experience this. Glad to have found a positive support network on GC. 

[geographyrocks]

I went through this. It was pretty rough. I was positive that they would realize it was a mistake over the summer. Then I was certain that after I started talking research with the professors they would realize they'd made a mistake. I read some really helpful articles including one that basically said this is something you just deal with and not necessarily get over which helped the most oddly enough.

And now here I am at the end of my first year. Everyone loves my research, I've been nominated for department awards, and I won a NSF GRFP. My point is: imposter syndrome is like having a whiny kid whispering in your ear. It's annoying, but it definitely isn't who you are. Grad school is hard work, but I think you will all find that you're definitely supposed to (and deserve to) be there!

[mb712]

 

Friendly reminder via @rundavidrun on Twitter.

[Chubberubber]

I have a terrible case of I.S which is really affecting my social skills negatively. I'm so afraid to sound stuipd that when I finally do say something I actually end up saying it in the worst possible way. I just hope that people around me understand my nervousness... I just need to remind myself that it's not by sheer luck that I was accepted. Still, the thought of dissapointing my POI is terrifying. Luckily I'm in a unique position to sort of "ease in" to the program and get familiar with the department/ lab before it actually starts. However, I'm not sure if it helps the I.S or somehow makes it worse... 

[dr. t]

“...you are an example to all the children...Because most of them are so foolish, they think it is better to keep their stupidest thoughts to themselves. You, however, understand the profound truth that you must reveal your stupidity openly. To hold your stupidity inside you is to embrace it, to cling to it, to protect it. But when you expose your stupidity, you give yourself the chance to have it caught, corrected, and replaced with wisdom. Be brave, all of you...and when you have a thought of such surpassing ignorance that you think it's actually smart, make sure to make some noise, to let your mental limitations squeak out some whimpering fart of a thought, so that you have a chance to learn.”

 

 

― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow

Edited April 21, 2015 by telkanuru

[autumn]

 

“...you are an example to all the children...Because most of them are so foolish, they think it is better to keep their stupidest thoughts to themselves. You, however, understand the profound truth that you must reveal your stupidity openly. To hold your stupidity inside you is to embrace it, to cling to it, to protect it. But when you expose your stupidity, you give yourself the chance to have it caught, corrected, and replaced with wisdom. Be brave, all of you...and when you have a thought of such surpassing ignorance that you think it's actually smart, make sure to make some noise, to let your mental limitations squeak out some whimpering fart of a thought, so that you have a chance to learn.”

 

 

― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow

 

 

As much as I detest that man's politics, that's a really apt quote. Thanks for sharing!

[Chubberubber]

 

“...you are an example to all the children...Because most of them are so foolish, they think it is better to keep their stupidest thoughts to themselves. You, however, understand the profound truth that you must reveal your stupidity openly. To hold your stupidity inside you is to embrace it, to cling to it, to protect it. But when you expose your stupidity, you give yourself the chance to have it caught, corrected, and replaced with wisdom. Be brave, all of you...and when you have a thought of such surpassing ignorance that you think it's actually smart, make sure to make some noise, to let your mental limitations squeak out some whimpering fart of a thought, so that you have a chance to learn.”

 

 

― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow

 

Wierdly inspirational!

[Lycaon]

This article has been my saving grace as well:

 

http://jcs.biologists.org/content/121/11/1771.full

 

It is titled, "The Importance of Scientific Research". The following is one of my favourite quote:

 

 

 

"The crucial lesson was that the scope of things I didn't know wasn't merely vast; it was, for all practical purposes, infinite. That realization, instead of being discouraging, was liberating. If our ignorance is infinite, the only possible course of action is to muddle through as best we can."

 

If we really think about it, stupidity and ignorance are the greatest teachers we have. If we didn't have them on our side, we would not have been motivated to pursue the advances in technology that we appreciate today.

 

Back in the day, we had many weird ideas about life.In 1916, we, in the US at least, didn't know that we could be attacked by sharks. "Pardon? You say a man was killed by a fish? *insert early 1900s version of LOL*". It took 4 sequential attacks for us to realize that something was amiss. We thought that mercury had curative properties. We thought spinning mentally ill folks to the point of vertigo was a legitimate medical treatment. There are people who believed (some still do) that potatoes are appropriate contraceptive tool. We thought it was possible to sail off the edge of the Earth. 

 

If we were content in these ideas, we would NEVER have made it to this point in civilization. In a real way, the people who were deemed most stupid/crazy were the ones who didn't think like everyone else. But many of those people are heroes to us now: Mendel, Einstein, Galileo; the list is looong.

 

Embrace your ignorance, friends. It may lead you to see things that the rest of us do not.

 

 

Here are some other nuggets of wisdom from the article:

 

 

"We don't do a good enough job of teaching our students how to be productively stupid – that is, if we don't feel stupid it means we're not really trying."

"Science involves confronting our `absolute stupidity'. That kind of stupidity is an existential fact, inherent in our efforts to push our way into the unknown."

"Productive stupidity means being ignorant by choice. Focusing on important questions puts us in the awkward position of being ignorant. One of the beautiful things about science is that it allows us to bumble along, getting it wrong time after time, and feel perfectly fine as long as we learn something each time. No doubt, this can be difficult for students who are accustomed to getting the answers right. No doubt, reasonable levels of confidence and emotional resilience help, but I think scientific education might do more to ease what is a very big transition: from learning what other people once discovered to making your own discoveries. The more comfortable we become with being stupid, the deeper we will wade into the unknown and the more likely we are to make big discoveries."

[reposae]

Is anyone still completing their undergrad with a conditional offer now completely slacking off? It's so counter intuitive but I have a serious case of "senioritis"!