Are A Lot of Grad Students From Privileged Families?

[fuzzylogician]

I think some posts confuse coming from a privileged family and behaving like a privileged brat (for lack of better definitions). 

[rising_star]

You know, it's funny. I did a bunch of things the OP mentioned (going to Broadway shows, studying abroad in Europe) but it's not because my family was wealthy. Privileged and given certain opportunities, yes, but not wealthy. It's because I worked my ass off to get scholarships in college (making the most of the opportunities presented to me) and then used that to study in Europe. And yes, I went to Broadway shows but that's because my university offered subsidized tickets and transportation to students, making it affordable as long as I scheduled my part-time job around the planned trips.

But seriously, this is an interesting discussion and I'm glad people are having it AND being respectful of one another at the same time. Let's keep that going!

[Dal PhDer]

I think some posts confuse coming from a privileged family and behaving like a privileged brat (for lack of better definitions).

Hmm...this is interesting, I can see what you're saying. I think with a discussion like this, you can generalize to the extreme...whether it's classifying the behaviour and attitudes of poor people, or rich people. I think you're bringing up a really great point, that just because you may have come from a family who could afford to support you, it shouldn't diminish how hard you've work to get where you are.When you say privileged, you can't automatically default to the stereotypical student who got into an Ivy league school just because their father plays golf with the dean..(I might watch too much Gossip Girl...)...that's forming such ill fitting conclusions and I suggested people where doing with poor families. I guess for me, it comes down to the fact that I don't want anyone to think that anything other than my hard work has gotten me where I am. I think we all feel like that!

And lets me honest here- I know that part of the reason I work so hard is so that I can be in a place in my life to have a family and support them (e.g., pay for their higher education so they don't have to work). I think a lot of us (if not all) have that same desire for their future.

[SeriousSillyPutty]

SeriousSillyPutty also made some good points, though I disagree with some of the language (" "postive" role models").

Yeah, I was trying to reference a previous post that used that term, and was hessitant about it myself. It can suggest (erroniously) that the only positve role models for kids in low-income areas are wealthy/educated/privileged outsiders, which is far from true. In my (only mildly informed) opinion, low income neighborhoods aren't usually short on positive role models, they're short on kind of privilege that comes just from knowing people who have applied to college, filled out FAFSA formed, traveled abroad on the cheep, have connections to good employers etc., because it's easier to pick up information from them. If these people also have good character, they can be useful role models.

[Jimbo2]

The connotation here is that being born into a situation of opportunity makes a person less respectable when they succeed.

1. The shame in coming from money is that you've been handed a position in life rather than earning it.

2. You can't buy a position in graduate school and you can't buy your thesis; you have to work and earn these distinctions.

Therefore, while there certainly are people that are born into situations that put them in an advantageous or disadvantageous position to succeed at the graduate level, there is no shame in succeeding here because of the opportunities a person is born into.

For example, I was raised in a military family and I know many people that had virtually the same upbringing and therefore opportunities that I had. These peers exhibit the full spectrum of success and failure in life: some have used the same opportunities I have had to earn important jobs and others have wasted these opportunities and are drug addicts that live with their parents. Your opportunities might provide you a door, but you have to walk through it in graduate school. This isn't your dad's business that hands you a big salary job after skating through college.

[i.am.me]

"They would just throw stuff on the ground and expect somebody else to pick it up. It was terrible."

Yeah...the people that would be required to pick up after these types would either be my mom, dad, or sometimes even myself.

I'll be frank. I actually don't know lots of people in my graduate program who come from the same background as I do. Not exactly, but one or two had comparable living circumstances, I guess. I grew up in the poorest county in my State (though I think my State is rich, actually), parents escaped genocide and met and married in America, and started their family with nothing (literally, I think). Peers of my ethnic background are like me: family on welfare and food stamps, grew up in Section 8 housing, and struggled to keep up with the other kids in our "race" who seemed to have no problems with academic acheivement. But I was luckier than a lot of them were. While many of their parents chose alcohol, gambling, or sometimes beat up their kids because of undiagnosed and untreated PTSD, my parents just tried their best to move on. I was the first woman in my family to graduate from college and pursue graduate studies. My parents support me because they have never been good at telling me what to do. My extended relatives tease my parents and call their daughter a weirdo or a lesbian, but I'd bet that they would be singing praises if I was their own.

Many of my cohort members seem to come from much wealthier backgrounds than myself, but we are all here, right? Besides, I suspect that most people probably wouldn't want to share their backgrounds with others face-to-face if they were underprivileged, and especially not when most interactions consist of people trying to one up each other in class with their smartness. I certainly have chosen to remain mum, so I can see why others would do the same...or try to build themselves up in the minds of others. I really can't know.

Edited September 16, 2012 by iampheng

[raise cain]

I don't think anyone is asking you to apologize, but be aware and self-reflexive of your privilege. My family are Holocaust survivors, and education was important to them, but education is secondary when you have to survive.

I also think there is a bunch of conflation of what we are all referencing as "privilege" like you point out, but I think what koolherc states is the more salient conflation (imo) - privilege through economic status and privilege through cultural, societal status.

I may not come from a wealthy family, heck, by Canadian standard my parents are below the poverty line, but I was lucky enough to live in a metropolitan city that gave me access to people and resources to have that cultural capital to assist me in working towards a PhD.

By the by, how come for the life of me I can never spell privilege right?!

[Eigen]

I haven't posted here since the beginning, but it's been an interesting discussion.

I think a lot of the confusion surrounding the use of "privileged" comes directly from the original post, where "privileged" is conflated with "born with a silver spoon in their mouths".

I don't think anyone will disagree that there are different levels of privilege- my wife is the first bachelors degree in her extended family, and was raised below the poverty line. Never the less, she had parents that valued her education, took her to the library often and early, etc. I wouldn't classify my family as hugely financially privileged, but I definitely come from a family where education was hugely valued, and I while I'll be the first with a PhD, I won't be the first with a graduate degree, by several generations. We both worked to put ourselves through college, and neither of us has much in the way of a family safety net financially. That said, I have a lot of friends who definitely had it harder than I did- as Koolherc points out, there's a difference between 25k a year and 100k a year, and there are a lot of gradations in between.

But I think a lot of the posts in this thread specifically referring to "excessive" financial privilege are directly in response to the "silver spoon" statement in the OP- I know mine were.

[crazygirl2012]

Most of my colleagues come from working-class families, the rest are probably from middle. As for me, I'm an only child from an upper-middle class family. Although I live off the same stipend as everyone else, I am fortunate to have no student loans to pay off. I do feel incredibly lucky for that. Maybe there are others in my department who aren't in debt, but I wouldn't know because I don't mention it. Ever. To answer your question, I would say that no, most grad students probably are not from upper class families, but some are. Some who come from money are going to flaunt it more than others. Your post definitely didn't come across as judgmental, but just because we're on the topic, I'd like to ask everyone to try not to make assumptions about people's personalities or values based on their family's income. There are plenty of grateful, down-to-earth grad students who do come from a privileged background.

[Usmivka]

I was reading this in the NYT today and thought it might be of interest here:

"From Parents, A Living Inheritance."

It goes into some detail about how in-kind support from parents can affect economic outcomes.

Edited September 25, 2012 by Usmivka

[virmundi]

2. You can't buy a position in graduate school and you can't buy your thesis; you have to work and earn these distinctions.

This is true of course -- but connections are critical to this field and there is no doubt that people who come from traditionally privileged vectors of society have far better opportunities to network and are, on the whole, far better at it because they've been doing it longer.

I don't think that anyone here has suggested that there is something wrong with a person of privilege succeeding. The problem is that so many privileged people believe that they begin the race at the same starting line as their un-privileged peers (as opposed to far ahead) and then assume that they cross the finish line sooner because they are better. This attitude and the fiction of a pure meritocracy are both very damaging to the prospects of people who do not start out with advantages. By all means -- don't apologize for having advantages! It behooves everyone who has them, however, to be humane and acknowledge that those advantages exist and attempt, in whatever small way is possible, to extend the benefits of privilege (i.e. easier access to success) to those who don't have it.

[Tall Chai Latte]

I'm a grad student from a middle class family. We are not particularly wealthy, but we are getting by okay.

I wouldn't necessarily think that a lot of grad students are from privileged backgrounds, but they sure have an easier time financially. Given nowadays it takes a long while before a grad student can become financially independent, having privileged background could be in favor (echoing wildviolet's opinion here).

[Tabes]

No, you can't buy a position in grad school, but when you have a trust fund, don't have to work, can afford an expensive top-tier undergrad and can travel for unpaid internships, it sure is one heck of an advantage.

[Eigen]

Nice way to bring up an old topic without really adding anything new other than some (obvious) frustration to the subject?

[CarlieE]

This has been an interesting thread... In my limited experience - having only attended one grad school - I've found that it kind of goes both ways. For instance, I'm in a private university which is top tier. In my cohort only 2 of us (out of 9) came from state universities; everyone else came from private (and expensive) private universities. Some of the kids definitely have wealthy and professional parents; some of us have middle-class to aspiring mid-upper class parents. But no one acts the brat and in fact, the more "privileged" ones tend to want to position themselves in the middle class to avoid the stereotype of the spoilt rich brat. 

 

Say, take me for example: I went to a private secondary school overseas (but I got to attend it because my mom worked in the school library and got a significant break on my tuition), I got to travel a lot as a kid (because my dad's job moved us around a lot and because my mom likes to do the touristy thing). In UG I went on 2 study abroads and visited London (I got grants for my SA programs and paid for it with financial aid money). I paid my way through my UG myself and with financial aid money. 

 

I have a stipend and I am making more money now than I did during my UG. I have splurged on fancy food and shows. I went to see Cirque de Soleil over the break. But I also eat ramen noodles and baked beans at home. Spending habits are performative; people let you see what they want you to see. 

 

That said, grad school is a luxury that many cannot have (not afford, but have): not everyone academically qualifies, not everyone who qualifies gets accepted. There is an elitism about grad school that goes beyond money and it may be that sense of exclusivity that is being (mis?)understood here as "privilege". Just a possibility... 

[Arcadian]

My dad has a BA and MBA. My mom was a college dropout (starting a family with my dad). They are considered "upper middle class." They paid for my college tuition. I would definitely consider myself privileged, but I have definitely met grad students who are more privileged than me. I know a few people who are able to fund expensive hobbies and travels that I couldn't. I don't really know the SES of my peers, but it seems like there aren't many who are "below" mine. 

 

No one in my family has pursued a PhD (or anything beyond a master's), so they were pretty clueless about academic careers. They didn't encourage it, either. I had to discover my passion for academic research independently, and I had to convince my family that it was a viable career option. 

 

It's kind of hard to explain my degree of "privileged," though. For the most part, my parents raised me to earn things for myself. But, obviously, being upper middle class, they didn't hesitate to help me when I needed it, either. So it was a balance. And it was a good balance. I commend them for that. They bought a condo for me to live in for grad school, but I pay rent. It's not a super-nice condo, either. It's 40+ years old, and stuff breaks all the time. They help me with that, too, so I can't complain. But I am by no means living in great wealth. I live entirely off of my PhD stipend. My parents actually bought me a Caribbean vacation for this summer, which is awesome - but it's worth noting that I could not have afforded this vacation on my own funds.

 

On that note - some funny comments I saw in this thread:

 

A plane ticket and a backpack isn't that expensive, after all.

 

Um, yeah, a plane ticket is pretty expensive. And a backpack isn't going to be enough. You're going to need some place(s) to stay while you're there...

 

It costs very little to travel if you are cost conscious and a little lucky (couchsurfing, flight vouchers from friends who are stewards, hitchhiking, pitching tents in RV camps in the middle of cities, however you make it work).

 

 Couchsurfing? Hitchhiking? Pitching tents in the middle of cities? Those are risky things to do! I wouldn't be down for any of that. Friends who are stewards? How many people have friends who are stewards? Come on, man. You act like these are legit options that everyone has, but...not really.

 

I'm sure there are some hardass people who are willing to tough it out in a foreign country with nothing more than a backpack and a positive attitude, but that is certainly not typical.