Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[PhDorBUST]

On 10/24/2016 at 10:09 PM, travelgirl125 said:

I completely agree.  I'm in a one-year program so it's just insane.  I feel there is a disconnect between professors who assign all of the work and who also want to make sure you spend time on "self-care."  Granted, I knew grad school was going to be difficult, but I didn't think it would be THIS much work.

 

This made me LOL big time. In social work, self-care is a HUGE thing, I mean there are chapters in books, and lectures on self-care because if we don't take care of ourselves we fail to baker act that paranoid delusional psychotic with active hallucinations and then :sings: lawsuiiit 

That being said, the same profs that preach the importance of self-care can't be bothered to give two shits when something really horrible happens, like idk, one friend in my cohort her freaking cousin was shot in their grandmother's backyard so she missed ONE CLASS and this prof gave her shit and wanted documentation. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What do you want, the fucking police report??? Welcome to social work where we are bombarded with shitstorm after shitstorm to the point where nothing phases us anymore and we all just talk out our ASS.

 

Whew. That's been bothering me for a while.

[PhDorBUST]

On 6/16/2016 at 3:55 AM, spectastic said:

Only times ive almost hit pedestrians were when they were crossing the street without looking, not at a stop.sign, but in the middle of the road. 

1

Yeah but when you do it's worth so many more points!

 

[crugs]

5 hours ago, PhDorBUST said:

Are you the oldest? I'm 29, my oldest sibling is 21 and every time I go to family functions I can see their literal fear for my life in their eyes like OMG she's still single and all her younger cousins are all married off...

Meanwhile, I'M SO HAPPY I'M NOT MARRIED. 

I feel like I'm gonna be that person who doesn't hear anything from programs until like, May. If at all. I'll call, and they'll be like, omg you didn't get your rejection letter?? SO SORRY

I'm the middle--but 30, so pretty much in the same boat!!!

AND I FEEL THE SAME WAY. the wait is just murder. 

[PhDorBUST]

4 hours ago, crugs said:

I'm the middle--but 30, so pretty much in the same boat!!!

AND I FEEL THE SAME WAY. the wait is just murder. 

 

Truer words have never been said girl

[DBear]

11 hours ago, PhDorBUST said:

Truer words have never been said girl

@crugs, Ladies, just turned 36 and happy that I don't have to worry about whether or not my plans for a phd work with my husband's career goals, kids' schedules etc. That said, if Mr.Right comes along, I'll be more than happy to let him tag along *if* I get in anywhere.

Venting: it's 3;24 and I'm not sleepy argh. This whole application thing has really messed up my sleep cycle 

[PhDorBUST]

12 minutes ago, DBear said:

@crugs, Ladies, just turned 36 and happy that I don't have to worry about whether or not my plans for a phd work with my husband's career goals, kids' schedules etc. That said, if Mr.Right comes along, I'll be more than happy to let him tag along *if* I get in anywhere.

Venting: it's 3;24 and I'm not sleepy argh. This whole application thing has really messed up my sleep cycle 

 

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND MY PEOPLE yay!!!

Just got an update from my late LOR writer....she told me to write my LOR, send it to her for edits and then she'll submit it. I don't know if I should take this as a good thing, like she trusts me to write this, or bad as she really cannot care less...

Anyone else experience this?

[stereopticons]

15 minutes ago, PhDorBUST said:

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND MY PEOPLE yay!!!

Just got an update from my late LOR writer....she told me to write my LOR, send it to her for edits and then she'll submit it. I don't know if I should take this as a good thing, like she trusts me to write this, or bad as she really cannot care less...

Anyone else experience this?

Yep. One of my letter writers did that. We had several conversations about how o wasn't writing it "glowing" enough and I was like, maybe you should do this? It happens a lot but I'm not sure how ok with it I am. 

[DBear]

@PhDorBUST yep, I had one person ask the same thing of me but ended up asking someone else... In hindsight, shoulda gone with that prof.. maybe he wouldn't have been late

[DBear]

@stereopticons there was actually a thread on this in the lor forum and it felt like I was the only one this happened to. Someone was talking about how unethical it was @PhDorBUST you should have a look, since you obviously don't have enough to worry about

[PhDorBUST]

2 hours ago, DBear said:

@stereopticons there was actually a thread on this in the lor forum and it felt like I was the only one this happened to. Someone was talking about how unethical it was @PhDorBUST you should have a look, since you obviously don't have enough to worry about

IM SO GLAD I DIDNT SEE THIS BEFORE I WROTE THE LOR AND TOOK A NAP lol

For real, I wrote what I could, did the best I could do, and it is outta my hands now so I WILL NOT check out that rabbit hole I mean thread on LORs!

Ive only had to do this one other time for something like a scholarship application and my prof was really just trying to teach me the lesson that's like you don't see yourself clearly you're not a complete fuckup SO of course I was like great so I suck at writing about myself too LOL no but yeah I had to keep thinking SELL YOURSELF PRETEND YOURE SOMEONE ELSE AND JUST DO IT.

neurotic? Me? Psh idk what youre talking about...

[shadowclaw]

I'm visiting my family on the east coast (go to school on the west coast) for Christmas and I should be having a lovely time. I got here Monday and my husband will be joining me tomorrow, then we're heading back together on Tuesday. The problem is that I'm so worried about my dog. We adopted her in August and she's a rather clingy pup. My husband told me she has spent the last few days staring at the door and acting miserable without me there. Tonight, he dropped her off at the pet hotel. He said she actually seemed excited meeting the staff and other dogs, but I'm so worried that she's going to think she's been abandoned again and be completely depressed until we get back. It pains me to think of her alone in her kennel at night instead of snuggled in the bed with us.

[fadedfigures]

Here's my big thing that I am struggling with: there has been no news! I am waiting for something (anything!) regarding my applications, but still, nothing. I really want some shred of news, even an email from a PI saying "Hey, things look good." 

One day at a time, and some day, one day soon, I will get some news. 

[eternalwait]

It's cool to look at the gradcafe survey and think: "When will it be my turn to post?" 

[fadedfigures]

2 hours ago, eternalwait said:

It's cool to look at the gradcafe survey and think: "When will it be my turn to post?" 

I'm waiting for the same. Unfortunately, the programs I am applying for don't have much presence on the GradCafe Admissions pages. On the bright side, I will be able to continue more to our understanding of these programs!

[Srweller]

I'm currently racking my brain over one professor who messaged me. I hadn't even applied to the university yet and a professor messaged me about a research opportunity- potentially working with him in his lab. He asked if i was still intending to apply but he also seems to want to make sure I'm a good fit.

A part of me is like "Yeah! I'm totally getting accepted into this school" while another part of me is panicking and is worried that I'm going to scare this professor away.....

[fadedfigures]

2 hours ago, Srweller said:

I'm currently racking my brain over one professor who messaged me. I hadn't even applied to the university yet and a professor messaged me about a research opportunity- potentially working with him in his lab. He asked if i was still intending to apply but he also seems to want to make sure I'm a good fit.

A part of me is like "Yeah! I'm totally getting accepted into this school" while another part of me is panicking and is worried that I'm going to scare this professor away.....

That's a solid way to get your foot in the door. Having a professor who is willing to advocate for you goes a long way in admissions, since committees will be looking for any way to cut their numbers down from ~250 applicants to 30 interviews. 

During my first grad school experience, I was able to get accepted because a few faculty members were adamant about adding me to the program. It helped IMMENSELY with making a case to admit me, so I would say you are in fantastic standing.

[Srweller]

7 hours ago, fadedfigures said:

That's a solid way to get your foot in the door. Having a professor who is willing to advocate for you goes a long way in admissions, since committees will be looking for any way to cut their numbers down from ~250 applicants to 30 interviews. 

During my first grad school experience, I was able to get accepted because a few faculty members were adamant about adding me to the program. It helped IMMENSELY with making a case to admit me, so I would say you are in fantastic standing.

I was hoping it would help me get in but I know it's not guaranteed and I'm afraid of getting my hopes up. My transcripts weren't even uploaded yet- I think he really only saw my LoR's. 

I feel like I'm in a really long interview. He said I could ask any questions about anything (even about the city this universities in) but boy do I have a lot of questions for him.

[eternalwait]

8 hours ago, fadedfigures said:

 

 I was able to get accepted because a few faculty members were adamant about adding me to the program. 

Hey, that's a GRE word 

[Yanaka]

2 hours ago, eternalwait said:

Hey, that's a GRE word 

Gosh, even the GRE anxiety will never leave us!!

[eternalwait]

23 hours ago, Yanaka said:

Gosh, even the GRE anxiety will never leave us!!

Only if we're accepted somewhere. Hopefully

[travelgirl125]

On 12/21/2016 at 3:57 PM, PhDorBUST said:

This made me LOL big time. In social work, self-care is a HUGE thing, I mean there are chapters in books, and lectures on self-care because if we don't take care of ourselves we fail to baker act that paranoid delusional psychotic with active hallucinations and then :sings: lawsuiiit 

That being said, the same profs that preach the importance of self-care can't be bothered to give two shits when something really horrible happens, like idk, one friend in my cohort her freaking cousin was shot in their grandmother's backyard so she missed ONE CLASS and this prof gave her shit and wanted documentation. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What do you want, the fucking police report??? Welcome to social work where we are bombarded with shitstorm after shitstorm to the point where nothing phases us anymore and we all just talk out our ASS.

 

Whew. That's been bothering me for a while.

Okay WHAT!! That is ridiculous.

Since I wrote that original post I have learned to cut back on the amount of school work I've done.  I obviously do all of the assignments, but I don't really read.  It's been working so far!  I just wanted to actually have a social life and enjoy the city I'm in rather than stay in the library 24/7.

[eternalwait]

Has anyone else applied to Germany? At least in the programmes I applied to, applications are not done online: all documents must be submitted by regular mail. And now I'm worried that my application may not arrive in time, even though I sent it way before the deadline. :S

[stereopticons]

I spilled milk in my car on the way to work on Tuesday and of course it's been stupid hot here. Now my car smells atrocious and I'm upset about that even though it's clearly my fault. 

[shadowclaw]

On 12/29/2016 at 11:40 AM, stereopticons said:

I spilled milk in my car on the way to work on Tuesday and of course it's been stupid hot here. Now my car smells atrocious and I'm upset about that even though it's clearly my fault. 

That's rough. Once I had some Alfredo pasta on the back seat and the  container leaked. My husband (then boyfriend) didn't say anything  about it when he took it out. It actually kind of baked solid in the sun so it didn't smell. However, when I found it and tried to clean it, I broke the "scent seal" and it smelled like vomit for a few days.

My vent: while visiting my family for the holiday, I went to NYC for the day with my mom. After a day of my hair blowing all over and not brushing it or anything, she tells me that my hair looks dull and that I should take a bottle of hair cream she has home with me and start using it. I politely tell her that those hair products are loaded up with silicone (which makes hair shiny among other things) and that I don't want to use it because I use sulfate-free shampoo which doesn't do a good job washing away silicone and I'll end up with gunky dry hair.  She became super offended that I turned down her offer of free hair stuff and essentially told me that I was being a brat and only used sulfate-free products so I could look down on everyone else for using unnatural silicones because I've turned into a west coast hippie. Which is bizarre because she's read my cranky Facebook rants about people who vilify certain products just because they contain difficult-to-pronounce ingredients or man-made compounds. The exchange really soured what was a great day in the city, although I did my best to let it go and enjoy the rest of my visit.

[Need Coffee in an IV]

@shadowclaw Wow I'm sorry about that, my family is very similar. They also get hurt and are sensitive over the tiniest of things. I didn't even realize sulfate-free vs silicon was a thing. I always use sulfate free because the interwebs say thats whats good for curly hair.