the air's getting thick...

[gremot]

gradcafe is turning into a boiling pot or so it seems. more and more entries are filled with envy, maliciousness or are just mean..

i wonder if it happens every year during this time..

I guess stress is building up, competition is hard and everyone needs a place to vent it all out but does it have to be against the other applicants - all who try to make this forum work for mutual benefit..

it might be just me, but I'm really not enjoying it.

[captiv8ed]

It is too bad. A lot of people in the beginning of the cycle were posting about how awesome and supportive this board is, and it is too bad that it is starting to feel like an "unsafe space."

It is weird too, because most people are NOT in direct competition with each other. we have so many disciplines represented here, and most people are applying to a lot of schools. Even if there is another person who is applying to you top pick and it is their top pick, there are still usually at least 5 spots.

But then again, a general feeling of inadequacy can make me feel bitchy sometimes, so maybe it is more about that.

[modernity]

I've been gone for a couple days (I needed a break from apps/talk of apps), and came back to this. I think it's just a few bad apples with low post counts, rather than regular posters. I wouldn't worry too much just yet.

[Caligula]

I absolutely hate negative attitudes and energy, maliciousness, and spite. I try my best to be considerate, polite, and positive to everyone I come across.

That being said, welcome to academia. This is just the beginning. You're either hanging on the cross or you're hammering in the nail. Take your pick.

Edited January 10, 2010 by Caligula

[LifeIsGood]

It's really amazing what stress does to people. Makes me wonder what it would be like to be in grad programs with some of of them. Yikes.

[coyabean]

I think its that season. Plus, you'd have to go to some of the law school boards to put this in context. This is NOTHING like those. Nothing. I mean a predisposed person could slit their wrists after some time on some of them, and that's not hyperbole.

I think this is just stress and all of the measuring ourselves and such.

Edited January 10, 2010 by coyabean

[socialcomm]

I think its that season. Plus, you'd have to go to some of the law school boards to put this in context. This is NOTHING like those. Nothing. I mean a weaker person could slit their wrists after some time on some of them, and that's not hyperbole.

I think this is just stress and all of the measuring ourselves and such.

Agreed. I'm just going to concentrate on the helpful information/resources the site provides.

[alexis]

I think *most* everyone on here has been helpful and supportive as always. There are really only two posters that I've noticed who have tried to incite things. Whether intentionally or not, these individuals have been making things less pleasant.

[anxiousapplicant]

I guess the "helpful exercise" struck a nerve with me because it reminded me of when my b/f was having problems in his education program. He isn't a mindless drone and dared to question the "professors," and they retaliated against him in many different ways. He was told he had a 50/50 chance of graduating. All because he had a different opinion than someone. Now he's teaching and he's doing great with the kids (well, except for some of the bad apples, but he isn't the only one who has problems with them). So I guess it just reminded me of what it felt like when it looked like he was going to have to drop out, the whole reconsidering ways to make your dream happen and so on.. It didn't seem fair to have to find another way just because some jerk who doesn't know him from a hole in the wall told him he couldn't do it. It really wasn't a good feeling and I guess that's why I flipped out.

[johndiligent]

I feel like I missed something.

[UnlikelyGrad]

I feel like I missed something.

Be glad you did.

[bgk]

If the site stops being useful then I'll just turn it off. So let's try to keep things cordial and not let that happen.

[papercuts]

This site is incredibly useful since it brings immense perspective that all those who come here crave. Coupled with phdcomics.com for the fun part and some sneaking around the Chronicle forums, a grad applicant can get a great sense of what's going on, or at least comfort from other's experiences. I mostly read what people write until I signed up for a blog here, but I'm sure all the other people who aren't saying something appreciate the existence of this forum and those who say something make it happen. I think we're a good bunch, there couldn't probably be a better community formed online, considering that we are hundreds of incredibly diverse and mostly anonymous people.

[bgk]

I certainly hope it doesn't come to that and I apologize that I seemed to have created something of a controversy; it was never my intention. I think this site is a tremendous resource for applicants.

Not at all cpaige. Don't worry.

[katalytik]

wooo! done with my last application to U. Michigan. Now i can join the rest of of the club of worry warts! feels nice......... but now for the hard part. waiting and getting antsy.

[jlee306]

I feel like I missed something.

Ditto!

I have been reading these forums for quite a while now and I must say that it is the best forum I have ever been to, including forums not pertaining to the academics. I must have missed something along the way though. Let's all just stay nice and supportive of everyone b/c I don't want to see the Grad Cafe taken away from all of us! I The Grad Cafe!!

[piccgeek]

I think the reason we're starting to see SOME bitterness etc. is that now that the apps are pretty much all in and we're all waiting nervously, a lot of posts are taken WAY more personally than the posters ever intended. We're all being judged (or at least our applications are) by some Powerful Council in the Sky, so to speak, and so when I think we're all on edge. It's easy to see people judging you when you know someone out there actually IS (and it's easy to take that judgment more personally than intended, both from posters on forums and from university adcomms.)

That being said, I agree with a lot of the previous posters that this forum is GENERALLY polite and helpful, and I found that last year in the face of my many rejections there was a lot of support to be found here. Let's try to keep the place positive, yeah?

[NEPA]

Ditto!

I have been reading these forums for quite a while now and I must say that it is the best forum I have ever been to, including forums not pertaining to the academics. I must have missed something along the way though. Let's all just stay nice and supportive of everyone b/c I don't want to see the Grad Cafe taken away from all of us! I The Grad Cafe!!

I completely agree! I keep wishing I'd discovered these forums earlier than, ya know, the middle of December when most of my applications were just getting finished. So much of the advice was incredibly helpful to me, and could have been even more so if I'd been around since the summer or fall. It would be such a shame for The Grad Cafe to go away, and it would be a shame if we all started to get hostile to each other!

[luar de ouro]

No matter what discipline we're shooting for, we're all trying to explain things for a living. Personally, it kills me to partake in this admission process, which has little rhyme or reason.

It sure would be nice to have some entity to pray to, right about now (but even if I were religious, I don't think I could look at God as a wish-granting genie...)

Reading this forum makes me feel less alone, even though people aren't always being nice.

[engwish]

Funny, I've been browsing these forums for about a month but haven't formally joined until tonight. I say funny because this place has been helpful and encouraging at its best, and informative and useful at its worst -- it can never hurt to get a clearer picture of your peers and future colleagues, even if they aren't, in fact, collegial.

As coyabean and socialcomm pointed out, gradcafe's lowest moments (remarks that veer over the line of friendly banter, inconsiderate posters whose interests include only their own apps, downright insults) are still leagues above the general nastiness that pervades most law school and MBA forums.

If nothing else, it may help to remember that posts aren't simply read by those in the immediate community, and that the anxieties expressed here may be helping to quell those of thousands of Googling readers. Like rwfan88, I wish I'd discovered this site sooner (though my own deadlines are largely in Feb, suckers!).

In short: "Don't ever change."

[mastermind1886]

Reading this forum makes me feel less alone, even though people aren't always being nice.

True that! It's refreshing to be able to come somewhere virtually where people know what the process is like. That admission isn't just numerically based, that nothing - admission or rejection - is certain, that the process really is smoke and mirrors. I've stopped telling people I'm applying to school because I don't want to explain what it's like anymore... ("What? You applied to more than 10 programs? You'll CLEARLY get into all of those! Blah blah blah blah I don't know anything about anything").

As long as people can remain cordial and civil, this forum certainly accomplishes what it purports to offer. So thanks, everyone?

[caramel_geek]

I've been reading the forum for quite some time (say, 3 months ago), but just decided to register and post today.

I'd have to say there are *some* (very minimal) bitterness in the forum. But generally, I still love coming here everyday. It's really comforting to know that I'm not the only crazy one that's going through the whole grad application process and that I'm not the only one feeling a bit "hanging in the air" right now.

Overall, love this place.

[Serric]

Meh; some people are getting a little tense, and that's understandable. There's always going to be a few bad eggs, but--compared to most of the forums I've visited in my time on the internet--this place is a VERY welcome reprieve. I don't notice much of a change from earlier in the year to now (at least in terms of interpersonal reactions), but hey; if this is 'the air being thick', I'd happily take it over most forums that implode with drama.