SarahBethSortino Posted February 11, 2017 Author Posted February 11, 2017 Since I started this thread I though but I would chime in with my story. 11 years ago I finished my Masters and got a full ride offer for a PhD at the University of Edinburgh. I turned it down because my fiancé at the time did not want to stay in Scotland... and I never forgave him, or myself for it. The dream of going back to school was something that haunted me from then until now. It eventually broke up my marriage and now I'm finally trying to, in y mind, right the wrong that I did to myself all those years ago. One rejection down but five more applications put. I'm hoping for my fairy tale ending! rheya19 and guanyinmiao 2
Sleam Posted February 11, 2017 Posted February 11, 2017 12 hours ago, SarahBethSortino said: Since I started this thread I though but I would chime in with my story. 11 years ago I finished my Masters and got a full ride offer for a PhD at the University of Edinburgh. I turned it down because my fiancĂ© at the time did not want to stay in Scotland... and I never forgave him, or myself for it. The dream of going back to school was something that haunted me from then until now. It eventually broke up my marriage and now I'm finally trying to, in y mind, right the wrong that I did to myself all those years ago. One rejection down but five more applications put. I'm hoping for my fairy tale ending! Good for you Sarah, I hope you get a chance to right that choice you made, and may the offers come pouring in! Â
OHSP Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) On 2/7/2017 at 7:18 AM, rheya19 said: One thing I'm seeing as I read through the forum, is how much easier this process is at my age than it would have been in my early to mid 20s. Yes, I'm stressed out about the process, but I also have enough life experience to know that this PhD thing isn't me, it's something I want to do. When I see how some other applicants are personally invested in "being an academic," it makes me want to give them a hug and tell them to work a few years and come back when they've learned a little bit more about what makes them happy. I hear what people say about starting a career path in your 40s. That it can be detrimental to your career (maybe.) But locking yourself into a career path by mean of a PhD when you haven't had a chance to experience much else can be detrimental to your sense of self. I'm not trying to be patronizing, but I'm wondering if other people in this thread get what I'm trying to say. I'm a bit of an intruder on this thread, at 26, but I was looking through it because my 37 year old partner will be coming with me and I thought there might be some useful words of advice. Anyway I wanted to say that I found this post particularly helpful - it's easy to lose/lack perspective when you're in your mid-20s. I left home and started university at 16 (slightly more common where I live--and the government loans everyone their tuition fees so parents don't pay for it). I took some time off between my undergrad degrees and MA to work and travel for a few years. I really missed research and academia and was hungry to get back to it. I'm glad that I had those experiences at least because I'm now in a position where I know that I really want to do my PhD. Graduate study is difficult (I've been living the precarious income, TA, dissertation-writing life for two years now), but I'd rather spend my time doing this than anything else. Anyway, good luck to you all - you all have great stories. Edited February 12, 2017 by OHSP
Plane_Jane Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 On 2/10/2017 at 11:55 AM, Emarouk said: The dean from one of my programs said to bring her and they'll have a little paper diploma to give her when we BOTH walk across the stage. that is SOÂ sweet! aww. I love it! redikulus and Emarouk 1 1
DBear Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 So throughout this process, I had so many doubts. I was afraid schools would view my 10+ years of working/ studying completely unrelated things as a lack of dedication or focus. Not just the fact that I was older, but the fact that I was switching fields really made me unsure of myself. Then filling out the applications and inputting my undergrad GPA from over a decade ago had me completely depressed at one point because all those Cs.... Why didn't I study more? So after months and months of nitpicking myself and my life, when I actually started getting accepted, I came down with this strong imposter sydrome and a sort of survivor's guilt because I saw so many great research interests and so many well-prepared and deserving applicants who were getting rejections. I felt so guilty that I wrote this really sappy apology type thing to my field's forum. Then @phdthoughts so wisely said that it's good that this cycle is working out for me because it is evidence that being a non-traditional student doesn't mean mean you won't get in. Come to think of it, had I known other older students who'd been out of school, doing unrelated things but successfully made it back, I think I would have been a lot less worried. So here it is: I finished undergrad over a decade ago, got 2 MAs in fields unrelated to my PhD application (one was a professional, terminal degree) had a mediocre undergrad GPA, no publications... Yeah.. really not a resume to write home about. BUT I applied to 7 PhD programs and was accepted to 4 programs (mostly full funded, awaiting funding info for one and declined one before I knew the result of my fellowship nomination), am on 1 waitlist. I was rejected to 1 program and am awaiting one last program. Best part is that I made it into the program I was most excited about. So for those who may be worried about not being fresh out of undergrad or an MA, those who think that maybe all that unrelated work experience will work against you, there's hope. It took a lot of courage for everyone here to even decide to submit applications so let's just be proud of ourselves for a while! Have hope!! eveline, Emarouk, CoffeeFueledAnxiety and 1 other 4
Sleam Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 @DBear, thanks, I'm giving myself a hard time right now. 25 years since the BA, a full life has given me stories aplenty, but academically I'm not looking good on paper. I've not heard back from anyone yet. Not knowing what is next is hard. I'd just like to know.Â
DBear Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 @Sleam It really is the worst, the not knowing, right? I think after a certain point in being a "grown-up," you get really used to knowing what's next, what's expected of you, what you're supposed to do, etc. But I realized that a lot of the anxiety of this process came from not being sure if I was even doing it right. At work, or even social situations, things had started to get predictable to the point of monotony. If for any reason this season isn't successful, I think we can all help reassess the situation and try again. For me, I quit my job just so I can focus on my phd applications, so my application process started nearly 3 years ago when I began my second MA, so I've been at it a while.. Hopefully the schools will get back to you soon and you can move on to the next phase of planning! But I sincerely do admire your courage - 25 years since BA means there are a lot of things you probably had to take into account in even considering grad school. Remember to be proud of that courage. The thing I hear most often from people is "I couldn't do what you're doing" Hang in there!!! Sleam 1
Sleam Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 @DBear, big smiles. Big thanks. I quit my job in May to focus on writing and traveling. Then came the idea of grad school. If it doesn't happen this year, it's back to writing and traveling! I've been published, got stuff out there, but would love to find a community of other writers. One way or another, right? Take care, s DBear 1
redikulus Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 @DBear From what I've talked with other professors about, being this old is a two-edged sword. 1) On the plus side; They love people who are mature, know who they are, can communicate properly, aren't stupid, and aren't Millennials, there's no other way to say that nicely. 2) Also; We tend to be here for better reasons, which means we will put in more effort and give up on ourselves less easily because we have more realistic goals. 3) On the other hand; They want young people who they can mold and develop into future tenure-track professors - who will stay on in their position for a LONG time - older people don't have as much time for all that, so we don't offer as much in that respect, we don't offer as much future time in a career, and in that respect, even if they only think it subconsciously, we aren't perceived as a good prospect. 4) Another negative; Older people are often perceived as less-likely to drink any koolaid - to put it more nicely, we are less likely to be "properly" indoctrinated into a discipline without fighting with our ideals and opinions. Basically the same reason the military won't take a fresh person in past a certain age, even for desk work. Matterhorn and Sleam 1 1
LibbyCreek Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Hello Fellow Old People (ha!)! I just found this thread and love it! I love being considered old at 39! Just today my 10 year old asked me again how old I am and I, of course, replied "Really, really old." I just finished my BA June 2016, but it took me 10 years to get it done- a class a quarter with kids, dying parents- you know the drill. I ran my own small farm for over a decade and have been either a part time farmhand, private contractor for nonprofits, or a board member for non profits in our rural area for the past 20+ years. Now I've thrown my hat in the ring to either get a Fulbright to study Rural Development in Hungary or a Masters in Comparative Local Development through the Erasmus Joint Masters Degree program! Totally crazy. My husband and I would need to rent our old farmhouse out, pack up and move abroad with two elementary-aged rascals! Could be really fun, right? Just waiting now, like all of you, and it is nice to have such, ahem, mature company!  Sleam 1
TK2 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 7 hours ago, LibbyCreek said: Â Now I've thrown my hat in the ring to either get a Fulbright to study Rural Development in Hungary or a Masters in Comparative Local Development through the Erasmus Joint Masters Degree program! Totally crazy. My husband and I would need to rent our old farmhouse out, pack up and move abroad with two elementary-aged rascals! Could be really fun, right? Sounds brilliant!
Jerry Renault Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I am in my early forties pursing a Doctor of Education degree. I spent last twenty years teaching in the classroom, and it has been fifteen years since my masters. Nervous? Excited? Doubtful? All of the above? I am ready to prove that this old dog still can learn a few tricks! Sleam, guanyinmiao and LibbyCreek 3
OptimiscallyAnxious Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I love this thread, it's so encouraging for a non-traditional student like myself. I only finished my BA in 2016, when I returned to school after I divorced after more than 10 years of marriage. I had married right after high school, so returning to school was a bit of a shock. When I returned to school I never imagined that I would be pursuing a PhD.Â
OHSP Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 (edited) 22 hours ago, redikulus said: @DBear From what I've talked with other professors about, being this old is a two-edged sword. 1) On the plus side; They love people who are mature, know who they are, can communicate properly, aren't stupid, and aren't Millennials, there's no other way to say that nicely. 2) Also; We tend to be here for better reasons, which means we will put in more effort and give up on ourselves less easily because we have more realistic goals. 3) On the other hand; They want young people who they can mold and develop into future tenure-track professors - who will stay on in their position for a LONG time - older people don't have as much time for all that, so we don't offer as much in that respect, we don't offer as much future time in a career, and in that respect, even if they only think it subconsciously, we aren't perceived as a good prospect. 4) Another negative; Older people are often perceived as less-likely to drink any koolaid - to put it more nicely, we are less likely to be "properly" indoctrinated into a discipline without fighting with our ideals and opinions. Basically the same reason the military won't take a fresh person in past a certain age, even for desk work. I'm currently in an MA program with far more "mature aged" students (+40) than millennial students - the best thing about it is the lack of whinging (which I will definitely admit is a young person past time), because everyone's made a pretty active choice to turn towards graduate study and (often) away from something else, whether that's their former career, or whatever. Another thing I have to say, though, is that they also have a bunch of respect for the younger students, who they know are getting by in an insanely terrible job market and going down a path that is pretty ill-advised because they care about research. Which is all to say, diversity in a program is great - people of all age groups have something different to offer and I don't think I'd go into a program being dismissive of young people. Dismissing millennials as *insert whatever the media is saying about us today here* is counter-productive, especially if you want to have good relationships with your cohort. Everyone's in a grad program for a different reason, but ideally everyone's there because they care enough about something to take a risk (and not because they'll drink the koolaid). Edited February 18, 2017 by OHSP DBear 1
ApeFollower Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Hi all, I'm completely new to this site and this was one of the first threads to catch my eye, luckily enough. I was starting to feel out of place being in my 30s while most of the rest were early to mid-20s. I'm finishing up my BAs in Anthropology and Political Science and currently have six applications out there for masters and PhD programs. I'm almost starting to stress about these applications because I've heard nothing back yet, though I do realize this is common. It's still nerve-racking to go to the results page and see people with responses from programs I've applied to. I just fear that my GRE scores screwed me up because I am absolutely worse test taker. Some of my professors have noticed that I know all the material they teach and great at demonstrating it, but completely horrible when it comes to test taking. It's just great to know there are several others in the same boat though. DBear and Emarouk 2
MaytheSchwartzBeWithYou Posted February 20, 2017 Posted February 20, 2017 Hey all! I hope you're enjoying the holiday weekend. I was fortunate enough to gain my first acceptance (took me three years!), and am trying to start preparing early to fall back into the academic flow. I know many of you are also anxious about returning to academia, and am wondering what you are doing (or plan to do) to prepare for the change in lifestyle. I feel a little behind on my theory, and I had just started researching for an article when I received acceptance, so I am planning to get back into the habit of reading/writing every day, and practicing time management by scheduling around two hours of daily work after my 9-5 job. I am starting to make lists of foundational theory works and materials for my article, and plan to read one piece from each list every night (or a book chapter, or whatever), making sure to take organized notes so I have them for reference. I've also recently started using Mendeley to catalog my sources, but I'm not quite in the habit yet. What are you doing/what would you do to prepare? :-) DBear and starsloth 2
kurfew007 Posted February 20, 2017 Posted February 20, 2017 I'm 35 as of this posting. So far I'm dealing with the stress appropriately: not getting enough sleep, drinking too much coffee, drinking too much bourbon, eating too much ice cream, and checking my application statuses way too much. I graduated high school in 1999 and matriculated immediately into a genetics program. I lasted a year. I made some bad decisions, and I honestly just wasn't ready for college. I spent the intervening years working as a general labor worker and then a fabricator/welder. I decided at the age of 32 to go back to school and major in computer science, so while I'm older I'm also one of those who is still in undergrad. Majoring in computer science was the best decision I've ever made. I've done a lot of things I never thought I'd do: I've done research with some great people at a DoE lab, I've made connections in industry and academia, I've worked two years as a TA and loved every minute of it. I worked in industry as a software developer for around a year. I quit last year because I knew that grad school was what I wanted to do. Right now I'm stressed, scared, hopeful, tired, and excited all at once. Sleam, ApeFollower, Emarouk and 1 other 4
bgjoecool27 Posted February 20, 2017 Posted February 20, 2017 (edited) 31 here. Â Left my job in corporate consulting after five years to pursue my PhD. Â Graduating in the spring with a Masters in Rhetoric and Politics but still waiting on three schools. Â Feeling pretty pessimistic staring going back to work in the face, especially since my wife and I will be starting a family this year. Â Almost feels like the end of the line already. Edited February 20, 2017 by bgjoecool27
victoriaaa Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Can I join the club even if I'm not quite 30 (I'll be 30 in December, so I'm almost there)? I'm going to be starting my MA in September after graduating in 2011 with my BA. I took two years off between high school and university to travel and work, then started working in Japan immediately after graduation where I've been for about 5 years now. It took me those 5 years to figure out that I'm interested in working with immigrants and refugees in Canada, particularly in regards to ESL education. I'm quitting my 9-5 job, hauling my butt back across the Pacific to Canada to do it and leaving my boyfriend behind to do it, so this is a big change for me. My BA was in Asian Area Studies and International Relations, so shifting to a Masters in Second Language Education is a bit of a change, and I was a bit worried about adcomms not accepting me due to my unconventional study and work history, but so far so good (two acceptances, one pending)! I'm a bit worried about feeling lost in a new discipline and feeling a bit old, though I suppose I shouldn't complain. I'm hoping that there'll be some other students in my area with similar backgrounds.
GradNYC Posted February 26, 2017 Posted February 26, 2017 Well I'm heading into march and  rejections from two schools. Still waiting for one more school (my first choice). #waitingforamiracle Sleam 1
Neist Posted February 26, 2017 Posted February 26, 2017 Just thought I'd toss my hat in as an older student. I'm 33, married, and have a daughter. Our only income is my stipend. To be honest, as a non-traditional student with more responsibilities than an average 22-year-old, I find graduate school easier than my undergraduate years. Graduate program environment is primarily adjusted towards the inclinations of 20-somethings, which means older students have skills which help better lessen a lot of potential issues. If you can deal with the level of frugality necessary to live without going to insane debt, it's great fun. Jerry Renault and Emarouk 2
Adele Posted February 26, 2017 Posted February 26, 2017 I'm 30! I'm currently finishing my BSW and have applied to MA and MSW programs.
Revenant Posted February 27, 2017 Posted February 27, 2017 Hi there! I'm turning 30 this May. I'm married and have a 2-year-old son, and I've been out of graduate school since 2013 working as a museum educator and adjunct instructor of history. So while this isn't my first grad app go-'round, it's my first as a wife, parent, and full-time worker. I'm thankful for reading all of your stories. I'm pretty young-hearted (read: am a consummate hipster) but intend to move to Ireland with my son alone, so I'll be juggling motherhood and study. Jerry Renault, JurisPrudence and kurfew007 3
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