How to give notice to boss?

[DogsArePeopleToo]

Hello everyone,

I am in the dreaded situation of having to give notice to my boss about my departure to grad school. This would have been easier under normal circumstances, but mine aren't normal. Here's why:

• The boss, who is a VP at my organization, went out of his way to hire me as his second-in-command eight months ago
• The boss is a friend
• When I signed on, I was going through the application process, but I wasn't sure I would actually end up in grad school
• I didn't tell the boss I was planning to go to grad school
• I have only two weeks for the "notice" period (boss was away and I wanted an in-person chat instead of a text/email)

I know there's no best way to break the news, but any tips would be greatly appreciated. I want to retain his friendship and goodwill even as I want to pursue my own next big move.

This thread is perhaps a bit out of place, but I figured a lot of you already gave or are about to give notices to your own employers. Please help a friend out!

[datik]

I don't know what to tell you other than you should be confident and honest. You are doing everything by the books and pursuing a higher education. That is quite commendable. Just tell things straight, tell him about your plans and why you are excited. Also, be available to go out of your way to help out smooth things over for your last 2 weeks.

I was on a similar position, having to tell my boss, whom I owed a lot to, that I would be leaving for my Master's. I had the fortune of being able to tell with more time in advance, committing myself to help out for the transition period. She was so excited for me I couldn't believe I was nervous before. She was happy I was going to do my masters, and compunded me to do it no matter what.

Maybe the same will happen to you. Try not to be too nervous as it will botch your delivery.

[DogsArePeopleToo]

7 hours ago, datik said:

I don't know what to tell you other than you should be confident and honest. You are doing everything by the books and pursuing a higher education. That is quite commendable. Just tell things straight, tell him about your plans and why you are excited. Also, be available to go out of your way to help out smooth things over for your last 2 weeks.

I was on a similar position, having to tell my boss, whom I owed a lot to, that I would be leaving for my Master's. I had the fortune of being able to tell with more time in advance, committing myself to help out for the transition period. She was so excited for me I couldn't believe I was nervous before. She was happy I was going to do my masters, and compunded me to do it no matter what.

Maybe the same will happen to you. Try not to be too nervous as it will botch your delivery.

That's very helpful, thank you. In the end of the day, there's no way but to tell it clearly and honestly.

[AlexaBarret]

20 hours ago, DogsArePeopleToo said:

Hello everyone,

I am in the dreaded situation of having to give notice to my boss about my departure to grad school. This would have been easier under normal circumstances, but mine aren't normal. Here's why:

• The boss, who is a VP at my organization, went out of his way to hire me as his second-in-command eight months ago
• The boss is a friend
• When I signed on, I was going through the application process, but I wasn't sure I would actually end up in grad school
• I didn't tell the boss I was planning to go to grad school
• I have only two weeks for the "notice" period (boss was away and I wanted an in-person chat instead of a text/email)

I know there's no best way to break the news, but any tips would be greatly appreciated. I want to retain his friendship and goodwill even as I want to pursue my own next big move.

This thread is perhaps a bit out of place, but I figured a lot of you already gave or are about to give notices to your own employers. Please help a friend out!

As for me, if I am in a situation, where I don`t know what to do, I say true every time without any hesitations and I explain everything from the very beginning. People like the truth and they admire somebody`s explanations of the situation because of respect for them. Am I clear?:)

[DogsArePeopleToo]

15 minutes ago, AlexaBarret said:

As for me, if I am in a situation, where I don`t know what to do, I say true every time without any hesitations and I explain everything from the very beginning. People like the truth and they admire somebody`s explanations of the situation because of respect for them. Am I clear?:)

That makes sense, thank you!

[EvelynD]

This has crossed my mind for the last couple of years too. About 2 years ago when I had just graduated from my MA I was really honest during job interviews because I thought that within a year or so I had found a PhD position. That didn't turn out to be true but, some employers didn't hire me because I couldn't give them a long-term commitment. The same happened when I then said that ‘probably within the next couple of years’ I would start my PhD. And I just wanted to be honest and be transparent about my future goals! 

Five months ago I was hired at my current job. I work in a team of 3 people who highly depend on each other, but during the last couple of years many people were hired for this team and then quit again. So I'm already thinking about how to bring the news if I finally find a spot. Or worse, if they require me to visit for the interviews (I live in Europe so that will take up a week). 

 

[DogsArePeopleToo]

19 hours ago, EvelynD said:

About 2 years ago when I had just graduated from my MA I was really honest during job interviews because I thought that within a year or so I had found a PhD position. That didn't turn out to be true but, some employers didn't hire me because I couldn't give them a long-term commitment. The same happened when I then said that ‘probably within the next couple of years’ I would start my PhD. And I just wanted to be honest and be transparent about my future goals! 

Yeah, that's a tough place to be in. But I have found that unless you have concrete, definite plans, it's best not to give prospective employer a reason to count you out based on a vague potential. For most positions except the more senior ones, it is generally respectable to stick around the job for a year. More is generally good, less not so much. Something about the neat, round figure of one year makes transitions generally OK.

19 hours ago, EvelynD said:

Or worse, if they require me to visit for the interviews (I live in Europe so that will take up a week). 

Take your sick days all at once  Or plan the trip on a Wednesday/Thursday, interview on Thursday/Friday, return on the weekend. Europe is a nice 8-hour flight and not a lot of jet lag.

[Sigaba]

On 7/18/2017 at 1:52 AM, DogsArePeopleToo said:

Hello everyone,

I am in the dreaded situation of having to give notice to my boss about my departure to grad school. This would have been easier under normal circumstances, but mine aren't normal. Here's why:

• The boss, who is a VP at my organization, went out of his way to hire me as his second-in-command eight months ago
• The boss is a friend
• When I signed on, I was going through the application process, but I wasn't sure I would actually end up in grad school
• I didn't tell the boss I was planning to go to grad school
• I have only two weeks for the "notice" period (boss was away and I wanted an in-person chat instead of a text/email)

I know there's no best way to break the news, but any tips would be greatly appreciated. I want to retain his friendship and goodwill even as I want to pursue my own next big move.

This thread is perhaps a bit out of place, but I figured a lot of you already gave or are about to give notices to your own employers. Please help a friend out!

I recommend that you be prepared to answer the question "Why didn't you tell me before I went out of my way to get you this job?" (If you're not asked this question, think hard about volunteering the information.)

I also recommend that you have in hand a document listing all the work you're currently doing, the important dates for deliverables, and your ideas on who in the organization can take on your tasks. In the event that your boss/friend handles the news well, consider the merits of doing everything you can (including working extra hours, maybe even on your own time) to make sure your team will thrive after you leave.

Also be ready to handle gracefully the conversation going sideways quickly. As your friend, he may feel that your non disclosure constitutes a betrayal of his friendship. As your boss, he may feel betrayed and overwhelmed by the prospect of having to do your job and his until he finds a replacement, as well as the prospect of catching heck from his bosses for hiring you in the first place.

If the conversation takes this unfortunate turn, do your best to respond professionally. Focus on doing your job the best you can while you're still there. Down the line, you can repair fences as friends.

Keep in mind that as your boss, he may have to follow a policy on handling employees in your position who give notice (such as showing you the door then and there). That is, he might fire you on the spot and have you escorted out the building. 

[Sarah :)]

I am working as a software engineer in a small company and our company just survived a huge turnover  (I was amongst the ones who stayed because I know that when I leave I will leave for  a PhD scholarship ). Anyways , I have an idea of Dos and Don'ts of giving notice (my manager told me the details because we are friends). 

Yes I totally understand how you feel because the boss is a friend and a part of you is wondering what he will do after you leave , have no worries , he will survive , the whole organization will (even if they don't tell you that )

You need to give your notice face-to-face considering the notice period (I guess it is 2 weeks for you). It is very important to give your notice not less than 2 weeks . 

ask for a meeting with your boss and tell him that it has been a pleasure working with him and you learnt a lot (even if this is not the case)  but you need to move on and it is time for you to go to gradschool to get your degree (if you can link things you learnt in job that can benefit you in gradschool , that would be fabulous , if you can't then don't ) . the most important thing is to be authentic.

It is very important not to burn the bridges because you might want to work in the organization after your degree or might need a letter of recommendation from your current boss. 

Just be calm and try not to be emotional (I know it is hard because the boss is a friend ) but you need to always remind yourself that this is your dream to go to gradschool and your boss might be upset for you to leave but he will survive eventually (just don't tell him that he will survive directly because it will be considered rude)

and  you can plan the handover together or when they are calm.

I am so sorry for the long answer 

Good luck in your gradschool

 

[spectastic]

my situation was different from yours in that I actually hated the company I was working for, and was planning my departure for months, but they ended up firing me instead, which was a blessing because I got a nice unemployment package that enabled me to basically take a year break and ride my bike across states.

However, I was pretty close to my first boss (at the aforementioned company, before I got moved to a shitty boss), and he was actually one of my letters of recommendation. He understood that the path i was on wasn't right for me, and that grad school was. I was lucky to have him as a boss though. I think most other managers there would've realized that I offered no further value to them, and thrown me under the bus. So it depends on what kind of character your boss is.

[SnowAngel3535]

I think I'll be in this position next year. I stopped telling prospective employers that I have plans to go on to grad school after i realized they didn't want to bring someone on who would only be temporary. At my current job, my boss is under the impression that I will be staying on after I finish my degree and within the field. Although I'm still unsure how I will break it to her because I've basically lied by omission and went along with everything she said about my upward movements in this career. I know ethically it may be straddling the fence but I really needed a job badly even just to have money to even apply to grad school.

[MadamDirector]

@SnowAngel3535 I am so in the same boat. I've not told anyone at my job that I'm even applying to grad schools, partly because my chosen degree has pretty low acceptance rates, so its entirely possible that I won't even get in first time around. But recently I found myself in a totally unexpected conversation about increasing my responsibilities (and paycheck) in a big way. This is something I'd absolutely want to happen in the event that I am still here in a year, but I also feel tons of guilt about agreeing to be part of these big changes, knowing that my hope is to be gone within 12 months. 

Anyone have ethical advice? I'm feeling like a pretty rotten person at the moment. 

Edited September 29, 2017 by MadamDirector

[Sigaba]

23 minutes ago, MadamDirector said:

Anyone have ethical advice? I'm feeling like a pretty rotten person at the moment. 

This response is for you in particular. 

Accept the promotion. You have earned it. You owe it to yourself to put yourself in the best position to succeed.

Do the job to the best of your abilities and in such a manner where you can train your successor and hand off your work when it is time to go to graduate school. 

In the event you earn admission to a graduate program, then you can start to figure out how to handle your departure knowing that you've already done your level best to put your organization and your team in a position to succeed. 

Above and beyond all else, do not feel badly about opportunities that you've earned. 

[_kita]

1 hour ago, MadamDirector said:

Anyone have ethical advice? I'm feeling like a pretty rotten person at the moment. 

 Most of the time, you don't need to do more than 2 weeks notice. If you have a lot of responsibility, you may want to work with your boss on delegation and training others. Your approach needs to depend on a couple of things:

• Will you jeopardize your job if you tell them early
• Would you be a part of the team hiring your replacement
• What type of emotional and operation problems will your decision to leave cause

I was in a situation whether I was working full-time as lead staff/counselor to the program manager. I was her 'right-hand' person. I managed most of the individual and group sessions, and a managed a lot of the therapeutic policies/programming. Therefore, I knew my leaving would cause a major emotional and operational problem. So when I left, I based my method off of my expectation that I would need to help her deal with the shock of me leaving, delegate more tasks out, train my replacement, and help my clients process me leaving.

  I gave my program all summer to get used to me leaving. I told my boss, "heads up, I applied, but I don't know if I will get in." To soften the blow, I didn't tell her I would be leaving. I told her I wasn't sure if I would still work full-time, part-time, or need to leave." That gave her time to consider her other staff team as resources. After I was accepted, I informed her, but asked her not to share the news with the clients or other staff members. We started planning administrative needs, and then 2 months before I was leaving, I let everyone else know. I also helped her emotional prepare for it before needing to have the clients and other staff deal with it too.

Everyone else was told about 2 months before I left, and the company was give a 1 month's notice so they could put up the advertisement (and I could interview replacements with the boss). I was perhaps a little "overzealous," but it was a successful transition and I'm not losing any sleep over it.

 

 

[MadamDirector]

@_kita and @Sigaba thanks so much for your input! The meeting I mentioned caught me totally off guard, which put me into a bit of a panic. (I'd expected a similar conversation to happen soonish, but it ended up coming up in a weird moment.) I feel much better now about just keeping my mouth shut until I at least know for sure whether I'll actually be going anywhere! (And being rewarded for my work at my current job in the meantime)