Please don't take offense to my comments here. This SOP needs a lot of work, so I won't sugar coat it. Here are (a few of) my honest criticisms:
That huge, first paragraph should go. It is dangerously cliche and, more importantly, takes up way too much space.
The paragraph on hobbies needs to go as well. It is another cliched forcing of character. Plus entirely irrelevant.
"... a tech-savvy person." Is this really the avenue you want to take in convincing an adcomm of your potential for successful graduate study? Watch out for these types of claims that, at the very best, appear empty, and at worst, naive.
There is a polarized sense of language here, where the pretentious clashes with usages of "I got a GPA.." and "...my batch." Find a nice middle ground of style and diction that isn't so jarring.
"During my years as a senior in college..." Years? Plural? NO. I'm not sure if this is a typo or you were a 'super senior.' Regardless, don't say this. Also, I would say "first year" or "second year" or "final two years" and not the college jargon (Junior, Senior).
This statement as a whole is little more than a wordy (!) description of your CV/transcript in prose. Why list out you courses in this manner? It reads somewhat like this: "I liked course A. I was the best student ever in course B. Then I took course C, which I liked as well." What are the nuances in your relationship to computer science? How has your coursework (as a whole) contributed to your interest(s with)in the field?
"The concepts and algorithms taught in class always seemed to remain in the back of my mind and I felt a natural affinity for them; I was even castigated by my mother one night for spending some extra time on them that I had reserved for other subjects. These moments, and a few similar others, made me decide that given a chance, I would continue to be involved with these courses, and would try to spend the remainder of my professional life in the field of Computer Science."
I don't mean to be rude here, but I'm LOLing at parts of this statement. Which means adcomms will as well. Again, spare us the dramatics.
"I can confidently say that my aptitude in research is aptly demonstrated by my performance in my final year project." Sentences like this 1)may come across as arrogant, 2) don't actually say anything and 3) aren't supported. Also, in one sentence you've written both "aptitude" and "aptly." This sentence is one of many that is boastful and unnecessary, not to mention employs the passive voice in prime opportunities for the active.
Your statement should paint your portrait. it should show, not tell.
You absolutely must have faculty read multiple drafts of your SOP. It requires a very nuanced approach.
In beginning, I would outline your relationship to the field. Delimit your interests and intent. IF you can find a GOOD hook then use it.
Adcomms don't want a three page statement that lists your transcript, while peppering paragraphs with how much you liked the classes, and how awesome you were.
*In my best police officer voice*: Step away from the thesaurus! Your diction seems silly at times. Strive for eloquence.
Your second to last paragraph finally gets to the heart of the matter; your interest in their program. Does your current statement mirror your description of their program? (To be clear, this part of the SOP should remain where it is, before the conclusion.)
Just keep at it. Revise, revise, revise. Have people continue to read it. Your own understanding will become more clear as you hash it out.
Best of luck.