DiscoTech

Take the fellowship Berkeley. There's something to be said for having the flexibility to work with whoever you want to. Things dont always work out as you imagine with advisors. Plus, not having to TA is a big plus. Just focus on courses and your research. Columbia is a bit of an MS diploma mill and probably asks more of their students from a teaching standpoint than Berkeley. 

I'm not how the debate devolved into a shitstorm about what Ivies are known as Ivies, but, speaking specifically to the Brown MPA:
Generally in policy hiring, either the name of your MPA institution matters a great deal or it doesn't matter at all. The prestigious schools in policy are Harvard Kennedy, Princeton Wilson, Chicago Harris, Columbia SIPA, Johns Hopkins SAIS, and Georgetown (I don't know which specific program bc they are outside my professional area, but in their professional area they are good). I'm probably forgetting a couple and some otherwise non-prestigious schools may be well-regarded in niche specializations, but that's the list and basically I'm saying that Brown is not on it (for now, perhaps - but idk that Brown has the precedent to become a policy powerhouse). Taking those two priors, if you're aiming for a prestige-oriented career, getting an MPA from Brown won't help you, and if you're aiming for a career where prestige is not a factor... getting an MPA from Brown won't help you.
If they're covering a substantial proportion of your costs and you like the program, go. But I wouldn't pay physical money, out of pocket or loans, to attend.

Now all OP needs is for you to be on his/her hiring committees in the future. 
I was snarky before because everyone seems to be conflating Brown's well earned reputation as an undergraduate institution with excellence in postgraduate programs. This is decidedly not the case. In fact, Brown (as far as reputation among peers in the respective fields) is a middling postgraduate institution (https://www.usnews.com/best-graduate-schools/brown-university-217156/overall-rankings). But yes, the Brown name will impress randos off the street. 
Public policy jobs are tricky to get. Not all openings get posted and more often than not people tap their network to fill openings. I know this because my SO spent 6 years in doing public policy work in DC. What OP should care about is the reach of Brown's network maybe it is great. I dont know. Placement and network are what matter if what OP wants is to get the right job after graduation. I didnt know either place had a public policy school. Damned if I know. Which is why I havent chimed in with advice on one school versus the other. But from the sounds of it no one else in this thread has much of an idea beyond "Brown haz preftige!" or "No prestige!"
OP - Find people in the field who know what they are talking about and ask them. All this thread is good for is arguing over what will impress a rando on the street more.

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

I get the desire of anonymity, but the quality of advice you receive will be proportionate to the amount of information you can put forward. Such as - are you choosing between Michigan and Harvard or between Cornell and North Dakota State? What field of study? Are you looking to go into academia? Without some meaningful baseline, very little advice will actually be relevant to you. 

It is great that you are thinking about it but I do think you are worrying about it too much. Faculty members are busy professionals that are 1) used to things like this happening, 2) probably have been in your shoes before, 3) are too busy to really think about us as much as we think about them and 4) mostly professional and would not hold a grudge.
So as long as you are not insulting or arrogant etc. in your email, you will be fine. The fact that you are thinking about how to word it and your past history with these profs suggests to me that you are wise enough to know how to write a respectful email.
My only advice then is to keep it short and avoid giving reasons for why the chosen school is better or comparing the chosen school with their school. The general format would be to thank them for their time, tell them your final choice and say something vague about hoping to see them at future conferences etc. It's premature to discuss or even hint at future collaborations with them. Generally, grad students don't spend too much time on collaborations with external profs who aren't their advisor's collaborators until much later on in the degree or even after graduation. Not only you will be very busy, but these other profs will likely want to prioritize their time on their own students. The advisor-student relationship (what you have been seeking through these conversations) is very different than a professor-student/jr collaborator relationship (what you are proposing for the future). With these differences in mind, it's okay to shift the way your conversations go now that you aren't potentially attending. i.e. don't be insulted if they stop writing to you and don't feel like you need to continue keeping in close contact with them. I would say that unless you have a concrete collaboration in mind (and approved by your advisor/department), you probably shouldn't continue to email them and the normal way of staying in touch is to say hi when you see them at a conference, and maybe chat during a short coffee break.

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

Good. Because you have offered some comically dangerous advice. 
 
He only has to get "physically aggressive" once for your advice to turn out poorly for OP.  The guy only threatened to divorce his wife because she won't let him hang a Nazi banner. He sounds really stable and like the kind of fellow who is unlikely to get physically aggressive.
 
Are you for real? 
 
Holy mother of God, no! This advice is bad enough when offered to people in non-threatening relationships ....
 
OP:  fuzzy hit the advice head on. Please take care of your physical and emotional health. If want to try to help your husband, that is great (I think). But please don't believe that it is your responsibility or that you alone can change him. 

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

If you want a good answer to this question, you might need to post the GPA requirement they are asking you. I say that for this reason - the graduate school as a whole has a first/lower set of standards that all their departments need to meet (usually a 3.0 UGPA). However, individual departments often have higher GPA requirements (3.5 UGPA or 3.5 major GPA). If the former case applies to you, you could very likely be dinged. Graduate school standards are rarely ever waived because they are so damn low. If the latter case applies to you, you should fine (especially if you are funding your own studies). The department would need to file a petition to waive its rules for your situation. 
Hope this helps. Good luck on this semester.

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

Um, why did you apply to these schools if they are "doing nothing" in your research area?
OK, so I think the I know the answer to this question based on your other posts. Let me start off by answering your initial question - $50,000 for Columbia is worth it for YOU and and YOUR SITUATION.
So here's my guess (and if I am significantly off, disregard the above advice). Since you are an international student who is not particularly interested in pursuing a career in research in the US (why else would you apply to schools "doing nothing" in your research area and salivate over Columbia which is pretty mediocre for Mech E), your primary goal is to get a prestigious sounding degree . Now, there is nothing wrong with this. A lot of foreign countries (well, companies in foreign countries) are overly fixated on "IVY!" and it makes sense to play to your eventual employers. Plus, there is the added social capital the accrues to someone with an Ivy League degree in Asian countries.
Thankfully, a lot of the lesser Ivies (not Harvard, Yale, Princeton) have noticed the opportunity to lend their prestige for a price of $50,000-$100,000. This is usually a good deal for the schools because it doesn't truly water down their reputations. Most of the people getting these degrees do not usually end up pursuing a career in pure research and ruining the school's reputation among academics and researchers. A good chunk of the students entering these programs already have their sights on management, finance, or the field-of-they day (data science/machine learning). Furthermore, the schools bank tens of millions each year in exchange for handing out glorified participation trophies (Columbia makes $50-100M/yr from its Masters students). The way you know a school fits this category is that they graduate 10 times as many masters students as they do PhD students. Columbia is something like 10:1 (1366:142, link). If you're a masters student looking to get an RA or a TA to defray your costs, you are competing with a ridiculous number of students who are in the same boat.
If the transaction Columbia is offering makes sense given your goals (prestige for foreign employers or employers outside your major field), go for it. Just don't plan on getting too much money out of them. I mean, look how they are treating you - you get two weeks to make a huge decision and have to pay a $1,000 deposit. No student on a research track is treated like this. They usually get funding, pay no deposit, and usually have months to consider their decision (April 15 deadline).

p.s: With a little digging, Penn (9:1 MS:PhD ratio) appears to also be offering similar M.S degrees and to a lesser extent Cornell (6:1). Harvard (0.5:1) and Princeton (0.3:1) are definitely not yet open for business.  Hope this helps.

You can either trust the person from the actual program or someone on an anonymous forum who based their opinion on how they think prospective advisors will react to an inquiry from you.
Every program is different. Listen to what their people are telling you. 2 of the programs I applied to last year recommended that I contact POIs even before being admitted (admissions and financial aid decisions were one and the same at these places). One program told me to reach out only after an admission decision had been made. The final program (smallest program of the bunch) asked me not to reach out at all. I probably emailed 8 POIs at the first two schools I mentioned. 7 got back to me. 7 set up meetings (or Skype chats) with me. 6 offered me funding. 
Trust the school to know what is considered appropriate by their faculty and staff.

You can either trust the person from the actual program or someone on an anonymous forum who based their opinion on how they think prospective advisors will react to an inquiry from you.
Every program is different. Listen to what their people are telling you. 2 of the programs I applied to last year recommended that I contact POIs even before being admitted (admissions and financial aid decisions were one and the same at these places). One program told me to reach out only after an admission decision had been made. The final program (smallest program of the bunch) asked me not to reach out at all. I probably emailed 8 POIs at the first two schools I mentioned. 7 got back to me. 7 set up meetings (or Skype chats) with me. 6 offered me funding. 
Trust the school to know what is considered appropriate by their faculty and staff.

Good. Because you have offered some comically dangerous advice. 
 
He only has to get "physically aggressive" once for your advice to turn out poorly for OP.  The guy only threatened to divorce his wife because she won't let him hang a Nazi banner. He sounds really stable and like the kind of fellow who is unlikely to get physically aggressive.
 
Are you for real? 
 
Holy mother of God, no! This advice is bad enough when offered to people in non-threatening relationships ....
 
OP:  fuzzy hit the advice head on. Please take care of your physical and emotional health. If want to try to help your husband, that is great (I think). But please don't believe that it is your responsibility or that you alone can change him. 

This is overly dramatic, but the basic point is right. If folks get the feeling you are using recruitment funds primarily as a way to see your boyfriend, it will leave a bad impression.

FWIW, my SO joined me on my recruitment visits. None of the visits involved bunking up with someone else, so we did not have to deal with paying for the other half of the room. My recruitment visits were not jam-packed with events and there were always a couple of blocks of "free time." However, the expectation was that students would setup individual appointments with professors when there were no official events. I ended up meeting with professors during any open block of time. So  my SO and I never spent much time together, except later in the evenings. However, the point of the visits wasn't pleasure. My SO checked out potential housing options and job opportunities during the day and never joined me at any recruitment event.
Keep it professional and you will be fine.

You can either trust the person from the actual program or someone on an anonymous forum who based their opinion on how they think prospective advisors will react to an inquiry from you.
Every program is different. Listen to what their people are telling you. 2 of the programs I applied to last year recommended that I contact POIs even before being admitted (admissions and financial aid decisions were one and the same at these places). One program told me to reach out only after an admission decision had been made. The final program (smallest program of the bunch) asked me not to reach out at all. I probably emailed 8 POIs at the first two schools I mentioned. 7 got back to me. 7 set up meetings (or Skype chats) with me. 6 offered me funding. 
Trust the school to know what is considered appropriate by their faculty and staff.

Good. Because you have offered some comically dangerous advice. 
 
He only has to get "physically aggressive" once for your advice to turn out poorly for OP.  The guy only threatened to divorce his wife because she won't let him hang a Nazi banner. He sounds really stable and like the kind of fellow who is unlikely to get physically aggressive.
 
Are you for real? 
 
Holy mother of God, no! This advice is bad enough when offered to people in non-threatening relationships ....
 
OP:  fuzzy hit the advice head on. Please take care of your physical and emotional health. If want to try to help your husband, that is great (I think). But please don't believe that it is your responsibility or that you alone can change him. 

This is overly dramatic, but the basic point is right. If folks get the feeling you are using recruitment funds primarily as a way to see your boyfriend, it will leave a bad impression.

FWIW, my SO joined me on my recruitment visits. None of the visits involved bunking up with someone else, so we did not have to deal with paying for the other half of the room. My recruitment visits were not jam-packed with events and there were always a couple of blocks of "free time." However, the expectation was that students would setup individual appointments with professors when there were no official events. I ended up meeting with professors during any open block of time. So  my SO and I never spent much time together, except later in the evenings. However, the point of the visits wasn't pleasure. My SO checked out potential housing options and job opportunities during the day and never joined me at any recruitment event.
Keep it professional and you will be fine.

This is overly dramatic, but the basic point is right. If folks get the feeling you are using recruitment funds primarily as a way to see your boyfriend, it will leave a bad impression.

FWIW, my SO joined me on my recruitment visits. None of the visits involved bunking up with someone else, so we did not have to deal with paying for the other half of the room. My recruitment visits were not jam-packed with events and there were always a couple of blocks of "free time." However, the expectation was that students would setup individual appointments with professors when there were no official events. I ended up meeting with professors during any open block of time. So  my SO and I never spent much time together, except later in the evenings. However, the point of the visits wasn't pleasure. My SO checked out potential housing options and job opportunities during the day and never joined me at any recruitment event.
Keep it professional and you will be fine.

This is overly dramatic, but the basic point is right. If folks get the feeling you are using recruitment funds primarily as a way to see your boyfriend, it will leave a bad impression.

FWIW, my SO joined me on my recruitment visits. None of the visits involved bunking up with someone else, so we did not have to deal with paying for the other half of the room. My recruitment visits were not jam-packed with events and there were always a couple of blocks of "free time." However, the expectation was that students would setup individual appointments with professors when there were no official events. I ended up meeting with professors during any open block of time. So  my SO and I never spent much time together, except later in the evenings. However, the point of the visits wasn't pleasure. My SO checked out potential housing options and job opportunities during the day and never joined me at any recruitment event.
Keep it professional and you will be fine.