a_sort_of_fractious_angel

Got an e-mail from AcademicJobsOnline.Org, which Duke uses to process English writing samples. My bleary, morning-encrusted eyes -- combined with the feverish excitement of having received a possibly relevant message from a school -- refused to read the note, so I proceeded directly to the Duke portal. 
Checked it, and .......
No update.
Shellacked! 
~also~
Got a call shortly thereafter from a number whose area code services one of the schools to which I applied. 
Answered it, and ....... 
Robot offered to refinance my student loans.
Shellacked again! 
Anybody else getting shellacked on the reg out there?? 
 
(Credit where credit's due: I stole this title from a thread over at physicsgre.com, which had some serious jokers in '08 and '09). 

It was great, I've only participated in major conferences beyond that in the US like the regional MLAs and this was much nicer, though certainly not close-knit.There were plenary talks by Cathy Caruth (Cornell), Dori Laub (Yale), Robert Jay Lifton (Columbia) and several others. I was surprised that so many of the 'big guns' came and were participants. Looking at your list of schools, there was Gavriel Reisner who spoke about Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon and he was very nice and I enjoyed his talk. I particularly enjoyed a panel with Laura Vickroy and Jean Wyatt since I've cited them both in the past and Wyatt was very warm and open and came up to me after the session to talk. It was quite diverse, as people came from all backgrounds: literary, creative writing, psychology, psychiatry, medicine, education, journalism, etc. I was told that the organizers thought it was successful enough that they might try it again, but it might take them a few years. The conference website is no longer active but here are links to the speakers and sessions in case you want to have a look at what sort of things were being discussed:
https://web.archive.org/web/20161015013207/http://www.listeningtotrauma.org:80/conference/schedule/
https://web.archive.org/web/20161026213748/http://www.listeningtotrauma.org:80/conference/conference-breakout-sessions/
I've seen some trauma conferences pop up on UPenn lately, I think one in Long Beach, so it's just definitely still an active field and one that I think is very enjoyable.

While the height of trauma studies is certainly in the past there is still a lot of interesting work being done on it. Just last year (academic year) I went to a big trauma conference and most Unis have at least one person still working on it to some degree. In fact, when I was writing my SOP one of my advisors told me I needed to highlight my work on trauma MORE.

This is my Weltanschauung in a nutshell... 

@Bayesian1701, I’m about as totalitarian as English majors get in terms of orthographic correctness, but even I am entirely disheartened to hear that three mere apostrophes could ruin one’s chances at a STEM fellowship. That’s some shit, if you ask me. 

Not in your field, but I just looked at my writing sample after reading through this.  I have one footnote with question marks instead of the date because I should have looked for a date later. I couldn't remember at the time of writing the paper if it was 1588 or 1589. In another part, I have a whole phrase left untranslated in the body of the paper.  The rest of it looks like this: ..."writing in English." 1 I really hope they see that the rest is correct, the topic is good, and that my translations are done well. I had reworked part of my paper before I submitted it and it just looks like I oopsed on that part.
1 Footnote or Ibid., The original reads:" ...writing in Early Modern Dutch"

This isn't a blooper but a "thank you." I was thinking yesterday about how I'd opted to include a little bit of "personal" info about myself in the SOP and if that was going to prove to be a mistake - your husband's success with it makes me feel so much better. Moreover, I'm so glad it worked for him - I think depts (at least certain ones) appreciate a sense of the personal and I have my fingers-crossed that you guys get good news back from Maryland soon!

I can still never remember which 'eminent/immanent/imminent' I want to use on the first try. Once I have a free second to breathe I'll need to devise a mnemonic. Especially since I'm in... eimmainent critique. 
Biggest Application Blunders:
1. When writing the phrase "Machiavellian political thought," in one SoP (fortunately for a school that's much lower on the list) I accidentally missed a 't'. Evidently I am going to orient such-and-such with respect to "Machiavellian political though." 
2. Not my fault, but because of a system glitch, one of my M.A. courses showed as 'Incomplete' on my transcript. After several frantic calls to the University Registrar's office, I ended up having to attach an explanatory letter to all my applications with the Registrar's phone number, my assurance that I'd gotten an 'A' in the class, and my subtle but clear indication that the 'incomplete' mark had nothing to do with me or my performance in the class. My transcript only just now got changed. 
(In hindsight I should have just gone full Donald Trump circa the Hawaiian Missile-Misleading Crisis... 'This was a registrar thing but I am now going to get involved with the transcript office. I love that they took responsibility. They took full responsibility.') 
3. I applied to two PhD programs in the same department, and therefore had to open two applications on the same portal. If I had both application windows open at once, the server would automatically copy my responses for one application and paste them into the other application. Talk about terrifying. I hate robots. 

Absolutely! I think the SOP shouldn't be 100% about your research and essays or whatever--if there's something that makes you stand out, don't eliminate it just because it may not feel totally relevant. Russia may not seem completely relevant to post-45 US lit, but what does he have to lose my mentioning it? Someone might skim over it. But what does he have to gain? Someone stopping and thinking, "Huh, that's pretty cool! I'd like to learn more about that!" or "I love Russia/Russian literature as well!" or "Hey, he taught English in Russia? That's cool, so he knows he likes teaching!" and deciding to give him a chance. Plus, his research experience in the history department was on US-Russian trade relations (also relating back to 'things'/'goods'/material culture, which he wants to study in literature!). So it all loops back to inform his love of his research focus.
Of course your SOP should be a total personal essay, but I think to really feel your passion and drive, there has to be a sense of who you are. That's what was missing before he added his paragraph on Russia.
So what I'm saying is, don't be nervous about that. I think it can really help. And our fingers are crossed for you too!

Fixed!

This isn't a blooper but a "thank you." I was thinking yesterday about how I'd opted to include a little bit of "personal" info about myself in the SOP and if that was going to prove to be a mistake - your husband's success with it makes me feel so much better. Moreover, I'm so glad it worked for him - I think depts (at least certain ones) appreciate a sense of the personal and I have my fingers-crossed that you guys get good news back from Maryland soon!

So this is a blooper that could have happened, but thankfully didn't.
I encouraged my husband to have a paragraph in his SOP about his experience studying in Russia (we both took Russian throughout college and studied in St. Petersburg for a semester). One of his professors/letter writers said to remove it, but I told him that no, it gives more insight into him as a person and makes his a bit unique, he should keep it.
The professors from Maryland that interviewed him were specifically intrigued by his experience in Russia and how Russian literature connects to his interests in postmodern/contemporary American lit! I'm SO glad he didn't take the advice of his letter writer.
Takeaway is that sometimes you need to go with your gut. Take the advice of your mentors and letter writers with a grain of salt. They are not always going to be right!

Confession: I still have trouble spelling "Tennessee" when I try to Google it/search the results board. I think I caught all of my misspellings, but I never checked again after I submitted my app. 

^big mood. 
I have a PhD prep syllabus/thing made up but am too scared to do it - I feel like it's tempting fate in a maybe not-good way. Though maybe I should it. I don't know. Ugh.
TV is great - I just finished The End of the F***ing World and loved it and am starting The Good Place now - and I've started playing Hearthstone again. I'm not very good but it's a decent way to pass the time.
I've also been enjoying GC threads from years past  - I've decided it doesn't "count" if I'm reading old threads instead of refreshing the results screen. Some of the threads are hilarious and the shade that gets thrown around in mid-Feb during the '09/'10 years is high-quality. So, if you're needing to be on here but not wanting to be, seeking out threads with silly titles and lots of responses may be fun.

Booze helps. 

Longtime lurker here! I am glad I am not the only one who is politely excusing myself from dinner with friends or family to check my emails in the bathroom on a Sunday, when I know d--m well there has been no action on my app that had a Jan 1 deadline. I have never answered so many spam callers in my life!
How do I get through the next few weeks?

I'm sorry to hear that.
If recent trends continue, Duke (English), Chicago and Notre Dame will be notifying today and (possibly) tomorrow. Notre Dame has a tendency to call. Notre Dame and Chicago using e-mail. Good luck to all.

Today at 4:54 pm, I was called by an unknown number. The area code matched an area code for one of the schools to which I have applied - I know this since I made all list of all the possible areas codes for all the schools to which I have applied and I keep it on my person at all times because Constant Vigilance.
So, I have my phone in my right hand and my list in my left and I realize that the first 3 numbers in the phone number are the same as the first 3 numbers of one phone number on the page.
I reject the call, naturally, because I am scared. 
I then stare at my phone, waiting for the voicemail notification, and think to myself - after about 15 minutes - "wow this is a really long voicemail, they must be really excited for me. maybe I got a double scoop of funding."
It is now 5:59 pm - I will admit there is no voicemail notification, but I'm just not confident that there is no actual voicemail. It's probably stuck, like a text, and is on its way. 
While I wait for it get unstuck, I'm going to fashion a "One Week of Waiting" chip for myself out of two beer bottle tops and a glue stick. 
Semi-related, hello and welcome to the deadzone, @Dogfish Head - I made it one week before collapsing into the third rail. May you make it at least 8 days. 

Anyone else losing their mind while knowing full well it could be another 4 weeks before admission decisions? What are y'all doing to stay sane? What are you binge watching (or eating)? Travel? Sports? Leisure? 
I for one adopted a puppy in the fall. (Super cool idea to get a dog when applying to grad school.) So now we're finally working on heeling. 

Thanks, @fuzzylogician - that is not only sensible but easy to apply to my own peer/professor edits. I appreciate it! 
Also, lols@ the future typo - I look forward to it stepping out from behind the curtain and giving me the ol' razzle dazzle after I've submitted everything.

You've given me an idea for every time my mother calls. 
11/10 agree you're selected to all. 11/10 believe they are staring at the phone during the weekdays - waiting, hoping, praying you'll call back. Have you gotten any voicemails of just breathing? I'm assuming several. Nerves, you know - crazy things.

Today at 4:54 pm, I was called by an unknown number. The area code matched an area code for one of the schools to which I have applied - I know this since I made all list of all the possible areas codes for all the schools to which I have applied and I keep it on my person at all times because Constant Vigilance.
So, I have my phone in my right hand and my list in my left and I realize that the first 3 numbers in the phone number are the same as the first 3 numbers of one phone number on the page.
I reject the call, naturally, because I am scared. 
I then stare at my phone, waiting for the voicemail notification, and think to myself - after about 15 minutes - "wow this is a really long voicemail, they must be really excited for me. maybe I got a double scoop of funding."
It is now 5:59 pm - I will admit there is no voicemail notification, but I'm just not confident that there is no actual voicemail. It's probably stuck, like a text, and is on its way. 
While I wait for it get unstuck, I'm going to fashion a "One Week of Waiting" chip for myself out of two beer bottle tops and a glue stick. 
Semi-related, hello and welcome to the deadzone, @Dogfish Head - I made it one week before collapsing into the third rail. May you make it at least 8 days. 

Today at 4:54 pm, I was called by an unknown number. The area code matched an area code for one of the schools to which I have applied - I know this since I made all list of all the possible areas codes for all the schools to which I have applied and I keep it on my person at all times because Constant Vigilance.
So, I have my phone in my right hand and my list in my left and I realize that the first 3 numbers in the phone number are the same as the first 3 numbers of one phone number on the page.
I reject the call, naturally, because I am scared. 
I then stare at my phone, waiting for the voicemail notification, and think to myself - after about 15 minutes - "wow this is a really long voicemail, they must be really excited for me. maybe I got a double scoop of funding."
It is now 5:59 pm - I will admit there is no voicemail notification, but I'm just not confident that there is no actual voicemail. It's probably stuck, like a text, and is on its way. 
While I wait for it get unstuck, I'm going to fashion a "One Week of Waiting" chip for myself out of two beer bottle tops and a glue stick. 
Semi-related, hello and welcome to the deadzone, @Dogfish Head - I made it one week before collapsing into the third rail. May you make it at least 8 days. 

My final application is sent (had the LOVELY opportunity of reducing an already reduced writing sample by nearly a third of its length to satisfy the word (yes, word, not page) limit). All the letters are in, now we wait.
Does anyone know how important or useful the Fall reports are? My university has not responded about mending a course misspelling on my transcript so I have been waiting on that before sending them in.

You've given me an idea for every time my mother calls. 
11/10 agree you're selected to all. 11/10 believe they are staring at the phone during the weekdays - waiting, hoping, praying you'll call back. Have you gotten any voicemails of just breathing? I'm assuming several. Nerves, you know - crazy things.