MinaminoTeku

I know what you mean but at the same time, they get it. From what I've been told, they aren't looking for just people to fill spots. They want people who genuinely want to be there because it will make their program flourish with the minds of people who are passionate about the program.

Haha yeah it's the absolute worst! So many factors to consider! I visited one of them but not the other. It's a bit far for me to take a weekend trip there just because. I am choosing between ASU and Wisconsin-Milwaukee. What about you?

Yeah, although it is a tad annoying that I didn't even get that email saying that it wasn't going to be considered. Nope! That was my last school. Now I have a decision to make between my two schools... Still don't know which one to choose ^^;

I'm irritated that my place of employment has had my email address for a month and didn't tell me I had access to it until today... Which means I had emails in there from way back when from students who were in my class. Uuugggghhh dafuq mates?!

It all depends on the environment of your program sometimes. Some programs are competitive and do not do collaborations, while others encourage it and want you to work together. Haha I had quite the grad experience that I will take with me into phd. I had a vice for every semester. One semester, I drank a lot. One semester, I was sleeping around (more than I usually do haha). One semester, I did both. And the last semester, I was a hermit and shut myself off socially. Tips on taking care of your mental health: first, don't do what I did and have nearly destructive coping habits. Luckily, I didn't drink myself to the point of alcohol poisoning and I managed to maintain my healthy relationships with my long-term partner and other closer cuddle buddies, but I could see that potentially getting destructive if you have an addictive personality. Know how you cope and determine if those can potentially be destructive. If they can, try to find other ways to cope that are constructive like exercise or doing something creative like drawing, painting, coloring, writing (not work related), or seeing shows or something. Second, find yourself a grad bestie. Cannot stress this one enough. Someone who is going through the same things you are, the one you can vent to about anything, ask for help, ask for favors, basically another you in grad school. It is way easier to go at this as a partnership rather than an every-man-for-themselves sort of deal. I also echo what was previously said. Please eat and sleep. Write it down in your schedule if you have to. Take full 24 hours to do nothing related to your work. If you are feeling the early stages of burnout, take a break. You will encounter a feeling of "I should be writing" and maybe feel guilty for relaxing. If there is no deadline to it and you don't HAVE to do it for class or anything, then don't do it. Learn to say "no" to things. Hope that helps!

It depends on how you work really. If you can work well in a group, then by all means, have at it. But I have found that unless we are all working on completely separate things, group writing tends to get a bit off track. Personally, I just locked myself in my room, put my noise-cancelling headphones on with a single song playing on loop for hours, and just worked. I lived with my parents and they knew that once the headphones were on, don't bother me.

Update on UConn: GRE scores were too low (very strict on that sort of thing) so the rest of my application was not considered. Ahh well, it's all good.

A couple things I have learned from going to conferences: 1. Have a buddy system. What I mean by that is have someone who is interested in going to the thing and can just fill you in on the juicy details. They might ask you for the same favor later on. I've done that so many times when I wanted to go to many lectures, panels, presentations, but I just couldn't for some reason. Have them take comprehensive notes. 2. Email them. If there is something interesting you wanted to attend or you felt like you needed to attend but couldn't, email the person you want to chat with. More often than not, they will chat with you over what they went over. I do that at conferences when I don't have a buddy going with me and let me tell ya, it's also a great way to network.

I'll hit her back up. We just chatted about research last time. Thanks!

First off, congrats on starting grad school Now some advice: 1. Don't worry about being the youngest. You were selected to be there out of many other applicants. They knew your age before offering you a spot so they know you are more than capable of succeeding in the program. I have a friend who is the youngest in her program and she is brilliant. 2. Get close to your cohort. At least one person. This person will be with you through the ups and downs of grad school and you guys can complain as well as praise each other. I had my grad school bestie and man, it helped to know that I wasn't the only one struggling. Speaking of struggling... 3. You deserve to be there. It may sound weird now but imposter syndrome can get to you, especially if you are surrounded by other people who think differently than you do and who are seemingly brilliant. That happened to me a couple times but I was able to get out of it and succeed. 4. Know how you cope and make sure it is not destructive. This was something I wish I knew before going in. I never had a high stress job in my life. Undergrad was a breeze for me and all the actual employment I had at that point was either retail or food. So I never really experienced true stress until I got into grad school. And man...did I have a vice for every semester. I drank a lot, slept around a lot, had a mixture of both one semester, and then shut myself off from the world and became a hermit for my last semester. Was it productive? Eeehhh I mean I got my work done and I survived. But I could see how that could have gotten destructive if I hadn't been able to get my work done. All I can say is that it will be hard. You will stress out. Try to find constructive ways to cope. But if you do like to drink... 5. Find a place with a good happy hour that is walking distance from the campus. While I don't encourage drinking as a way to cope, finding a place (any place, alcohol or otherwise) that other grad students like to go to and hang out after class will help both making friends and taking the edge off. Hope that helps!

Negative. I emailed and still nothing. I will try calling tomorrow. I just need to get them at a time where they are open because I am all the way on the west coast.

Thank you for your advice. As far as I know, no one really does it as their main area of interest but there are faculty there who are open to whatever the students want. I am very much a hands-off sort of person so that works perfectly for me (as long as I get some direction where I need it). Yeah, I mean both schools are in red states but one is closer to blue so I can escape if I need to. The other doesn't border any blue. It's just a worry of mine to not get to do what I love because of some bs archaic climate and viewpoint about sex and sexuality. Even if it isn't the case in major cities, the state itself may think differently. Or maybe I'm just being silly and worrying for nothing.

Thanks for your response. I know the answers to those questions for School 1 but not School 2 so I got some homework to do. Yeah, I'm no stranger to moving to places where I don't know anybody. I packed up and moved to Japan for two years without knowing a single person who was close by to me there and I did just fine.

Lame pop songs aside, I am in-between a rock and a hard place with deciding between two schools: School 1: Pros: It was my second choice (first choice rejected me). The staff is more receptive to my ideas (and I think I have a good chance at working with one of them). The distance from it and my hometown is not that far (five hours driving, one hour flight). Cost of living is stupid cheap (I live in CA so anywhere outside of there is cheap AF). I know people there (two friends already go to the same school and I know people in the general area). Cons: No funding. School 2: Pros: Full funding with a teaching gig and bonus money to help with the first year I can assume cost of living is cheap because it is not CA. Faculty seemed receptive to my ideas but... Cons: ...I've never met any faculty in person before (applied based on what the grad students said). In the middle of the country in a red state (coming from CA and wanting to research sex, this may or may not be an issue). Distance from the school to my hometown is way farther so visiting home is tougher. I don't know anyone personally at the school (my one friend might leave) nor do I know anyone in the state. I am leaning towards School 1 because it is where I ultimately want to go to and it is a better program for me and I am about 90% sure I will go there with or without funding, but dang the money at School 2 is looking mighty good...especially with the struggles my friend who has no funding is going through at School 1. I don't want to worry about money during my entire time at School 1 because I fear that would restrict my growth and experience there. Thoughts? Advice? Has anyone gone through this before? What happened? My worry is regretting my decision (which is the biggest worry any one of us has when choosing between two schools).

I don't think it is unprofessional to bring them in (haha I am bringing mine in as a guest speaker in a couple weeks) if they are professional about it. The snuggling bit, yeah that's a bit over the line. When you are in a classroom, it is professional serious business, even if the class itself is lighthearted and fun. Save the PDA for outside of the classroom but not inside.

Professional...looking...? This is the Pikachu backpack I use when I go and teach my classes. Granted I did already graduate with an MA, but I do plan to use the same backpack when I go on for my phd.

When in doubt, coin flip. Then when that coin is in the air and you are hoping that it lands on a certain side, you have your answer. If you can stare at that coin and be happy with that decision, then there is your other answer.

I have found that if you go into something looking for a relationship, you'll have a harder time finding it than if you just lived your life and let it come to you. I've dated academics and non-academics. I have gotten close to people in my cohort as well as people completely outside of my major. I'm poly so I have a partner who has never been to college before, partners who have graduated from college with a single degree, and one partner who was double majored. Here's what I can say from experience: 1. You learn a whole lot about the non-academic world and it even helps you with your research. I ask my friends all the time what they think about a certain topic because it gives me an idea what the general public who doesn't look into things as much as academics do thinks about stuff. Very surface level thinking but it helps in the long run. 2. That lack of deep thinking is nice sometimes. Sometimes it is nice to be able to shut off your brain for a bit and just exist, especially if you are balls deep in your work and school. Having someone who is a non-academic can remind you that there is a world out there to just exist in. Haha I actually dated a philosophy major for a while and man, talk about deep thinking. 3. Keep your options open. So someone is not an academic. Find someone who satisfies your other needs in life besides those things like hobbies or interests. Hopefully your life won't be all work and no play so try to look for a partner in that play area. Also reevaluate what you are looking for in a partner and see if you can cast a wider net. You'd be surprised the gems you find when you go a little outside of your usual. Hope that helps! But yeah, I myself never had a problem dating non-academics, but I also met my longest partner in college and we've been together ever since ^^;

I have a bunch of back up plans if grad school falls through at some point in life. Some of them include: Community college instructor Travel agent Travel agent for romantic and sexy getaways Sex therapist Open a love hotel Open a cat cafe that is also a cat rescue Extend that cat cafe into a dog cafe

Thanks, mate. So weird that I heard nothing... Maybe that is the unofficial "you got rejected" notification. Which would be strange for any school to do. I sent an email asking what's the status.

It depends on the situation. For instance, my mentor. I will always call him "Dr.", even though we also have a personal friendship. It just feels weird to call him by his first name because I still see him as this amazing-holy-crap-I-want-to-be-like-you-when-I-grow-up sort of person. But I have another former professor whom we are still working together on a project and I call him by his first name. For almost everyone else, if I have known them for a while and we have a professional relationship but we can feasibly go out for dinner afterwards and it isn't awkward, then I would call them by their first name. If I have a class with them, then I called them by "Dr." Outside social time: first name. Inside professional time: "Dr."

Just for a dose of credibility, I have been teaching for about five years (one semester as an undergrad, two years as a TA, two years as an ALT, and one year as an adjunct professor). Some pieces of advice (whether they have been echoed in this topic or not): 1. Have fun. I cannot stress this enough. You remember how it was being an undergrad student, especially taking a class that is required. I teach public speaking so it is required by ALL students in my university to take some sort of public speaking course. Meaning they do not really want to be there so much as they have to be there. That said, you have a captive audience but not necessarily a voluntary audience so it is an uphill battle to get your students onboard with what you are teaching. What you are teaching is important to you so it is part of your job to make it important to them. How do you do that? By having fun with teaching. Don't worry about the teacher-student power exchange so much. You have a degree in whatever it is you are teaching, meaning you know more about the subject than they do. You're the expert, not them (even if they think they are). This obviously depends on the level you are teaching but assuming you are a first-time TA, the chances are pretty high that you aren't teaching a room full of experts in your field. In any case, please have fun with teaching. You can just tell the good teachers from the ones who just don't care anymore. That playfulness is lost in their eyes. So focused on being serious that if part of your goal is to get the students excited about your subject, then you already fell flat. Make jokes with them, get to know them as people and not as students. Give them advice like an older sibling or parent. Help guide them through school like a counselor. And be there to listen to them as a friend. But this all stems from just having fun as a teacher. 2. Cut them some slack. Depending on the students you teach, they are still students with lives outside of school. Yes, school is important to you (why else are you teaching if you thought it wasn't?) but that same idea may not echo in your students. They may be taking your class because they have to or because they want to but they do have other classes. Now that is not to say don't babysit them and not keep them on top of their shit. If they don't do an assignment and they don't have a good reason for it, then that sucks for them. But if you have the ability to cut a little slack and still maintain that level of respect with them, then take it. You won't be seen as a pushover but rather someone who wants to see them succeed but also teach them some life lessons along the way. 3. Don't aim so high. I have done this before and I have learned from my mistake. There is no harm in pushing your students to think bigger, come up with better ideas, and go out there and change the world. But the chances of you having an entire class that does that is pretty slim (unless you are teaching a philosophy class. In which case, think deep thoughts all you want). But for many of us who want to make teaching our careers, we want to change the world. We want to inspire our students to take what they have learned and apply it to their lives and hopefully change them for the better. However, like with #1, you may have a class who just doesn't give a rat's ass about your subject. Unless you have an entire class that is your major, you will have a lot of students who just don't care. And that's okay. Don't take it personally. Just think back to when you were a student and having to take those general ed courses and how much you probably didn't care about half of them. Same with these students. So don't aim so high, but aim reasonable. Push them where you think they can go and if it ends up being too easy, crank it up. This can obviously vary with the subject. I teach Communication Studies so the level of slack or fun I can have in my class may vary from someone who teaches a hard science. But bottom line, just have a good time with teaching. Because if you are having fun, then the students may humor you and have fun with you and they are learning through enjoyment rather than through force. As for practical techniques, I can say from experience to grade things as soon as they are due. Trust me... That pile gets bigger. Good luck out there!

This is me being incredibly lazy and not wanting to read through 27 pages haha. Anyone hear back from University of Connecticut yet? They are my last school I am waiting to hear back from and the antici......... .........pation is killing me! xD