JustPoesieAlong

Hi! I'll be starting my doctorate in English Lit this fall at UNC. I'm moving with my husband and kids to the Raleigh area, since that's the closest he can get to Chapel Hill with his work.

That's so wonderful to hear! I've been afraid of my kids resenting me as they get older for disrupting their childhood. Hopefully they see it as an adventure! My son is 9 and seems pretty excited for the change. My daughter is two and doesn't really know what's going on, but we'll almost certainly have one more big move in our future--when I go job hunting--so she'll get a taste of it too. I'm hoping I can stay put until our son finishes high school, though. Best to you!!

Just wanted to say hi! It's nice to hear from someone with a similar life situation. Like I mention above, I've also been married for several years and have two kids. I'm incredibly thankful to have my husband and kids with me during this time. Sure, it means I have additional responsibilities on top of an already stressful time, but it also helps me to keep things in perspective. I'm pretty stressed about relocating somewhere that works for them, but I'm trying to remain positive--I think things will be easier once we've been in the area for a bit and can use that knowledge of the place to improve things where necessary.

Traveling back from a lovely campus visit, wearing a UNC hoodie! Planning on giving my formal response as soon as I get home!! ?

I'm traveling back from a wonderful visit at UNC Chapel Hill, and will be turning down my offers at U of Alabama (Strode),UGA, and TAMU. I'll also likely be taking my name off the OSU waitlist. Hope this helps someone here!

I can't thank you enough for this post! I've been fretting over this situation like crazy, but just discovered the Friday Center Park & Ride situation (after a lot of research--UNC parking/transit is wild). I was wondering about how long the bus ride would be, so thanks for that information too! Does that lot typically fill up or does it seem to have enough spaces available? I have been dreading adding even more travel time due to a search for parking. I have looked at Victory Village some--it's a good deal more expensive than we're paying now, but if there's a spot available for our daughter, we may just have to pinch pennies to swing it. Thank you again for this response. Moving for a PhD is a challenge anyway, but moving with kids has got me so stressed. I am excited for the area; I think we will be very happy there, once we figure it all out!

I responded to this on the other thread. One of my universities has a similar funding situation, but I heard from a grad student that they mostly use that just in case a student doesn't progress--but basically, everyone who does their work gets an additional year. You could check in with some current grad students to see if there's a similar situation at UW. P.S. Congratulations again!

Congratulations! I have heard that some universities will only officially guarantee something like four years, with a "possibility for an additional year" so that they have something in place if you don't progress--but that most people in the program end up getting that last year. Maybe that's what going on with UW? You could ask a grad student what the likelihood of an additional year of funding is.

Thank you for this information! Yes, the next year or two will be a challenge. If this does end up being our situation, I'm hoping that things will get much easier when I'm ABD. So, at least we can take comfort in the knowledge that it's temporary. I do plan on attending the open house! My spouse and kids will be traveling with me and will be exploring the area while I do the Open House stuff. I'll PM you!

Hi, again, everyone. Does anyone here have experience with the schools in Raleigh? I've got a son who will be starting the 4th grade and a daughter who will be in daycare. I'm hoping to live somewhere within proximity to downtown so I can use the bus to get to UNC-Chapel Hill, but the schools there don't look great. Thanks in advance!

Thank you! My husband would be working pretty far out to the east of Raleigh--Goldsboro, Rocky Mount, or Wilson. So, it looks like it'd be difficult to locate near enough to downtown to make riding the bus worth it, although I would really like to. I'll keep it in mind as we look. Do you know much about living in the areas closer to downtown? We've got a pretty difficult situation to parse out, so any input is appreciated!

I've just had a chance to read through the comments before mine here, and I wanted to add that I am going to be trying very hard to maintain that normal business hours schedule when I start my PhD. Although I'll be glad for the flexibility of grad school, I learned from my master's program how much I benefit from a stable schedule (or, rather, how much my work suffers without it). I know there will be times when I stay up all night working, but I'm hoping to make that a very rare thing. I can't wait until I know my course schedule for next year so I can start planning out my weekly routine, carving out specific time slots for reading and for writing (looking toward this guidance: https://chroniclevitae.com/news/2010-the-tough-love-approach-to-writing). This helps me to feel more like a professional, which, in turn, helps me to be a better professional. In the words of one of my favorite authors, Phillip Pullman:"Habit has written far more books than talent" (of course, he also happens to be insanely talented as well, so that helps ).

I'm also almost 30. You may have read me saying this already in the Literature forum, but I took three years off to explore life as a non-student. I was surprised to discover that, although I wasn't a student anymore, I felt a lot less...professional freedom? Part of it may have been that I was an hourly employee, but something about having to answer for every minute of my day and have near constant interaction with supervisors of differing levels made me feel more infantile than I did as a grad student. I guess I almost felt more of an adult professional as a grad student than I did in my office jobs where I always had to answer to someone. By contrast, as a grad student, budding professional scholar, I felt more trusted accomplish tasks--or had to face the consequences if I didn't make that happen, but even then it was more of my choice to be responsible or not. I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm really looking forward to being a student again.

My husband and I have already been together for almost ten years, and we have two kids...I think the way being married affects your life as a grad student has more to do with your relationship style. For me personally, being married and having kids has given me a solid foundation of support that I may have lacked otherwise. That said, especially being married with kids often makes me feel somewhat isolated from most of my peers--or it did in my master's program. I'm hoping to connect with other student parents in my PhD program.

Thank you for your reply! I have definitely been thinking about how to approach this with the program. I get anxious about bringing up the fact that I have kids--even though I know I can be both a kick ass student and a parent, I'm always afraid schools will think less of me as a candidate. Anyway, I need to get over that. I was thinking about sending the DGS an email, but I'm going to visit in April and thought that it might be better to have the conversation in person.