dimanche0829

I'm not technically a grad student since this is my last semester of undergrad, but I do take grad courses and am expected to perform graduate level work. I can completely relate. I didn't talk in class for most of last semester because I was terrified and somehow managed to convince myself that my being there was part of some cruel joke of the faculty to show me how much I didn't belong. Completely irrational, but that's what I thought.

I didn't want to end up being that creepy silent girl in the corner (which is so not me), though, so I finally gave myself some tough love and forced my hand in the air during class one day. My entire insides were shaking with nerves. I made up some new words as I spoke, and I don't think my statement actually had a valid point, but that was okay. No one laughed at me, and I was given the same consideration that the other students were given. I still feel like the dumbest person in the room sometimes, but I'm at least trying to be more active this semester. Baby steps.

Wait, you are paying for your own degree yourself? You didn't get any funding? To put it bluntly: why did you think it was a good idea to spend your own money on a Ph.D in history? Even if you are, though, a degree isn't like a television or some other object you buy: you don't "deserve" anything just because you paid for the experience of being trained as an academic. Just because the experience may not be what you want doesn't mean they don't deserve to be paid for the effort and time to train you. Imagine not paying a doctor because you have bad health - that doesn't work, right?

I think you are right to suspect the department is shutting you out collectively. It probably doesn't have anything to do with your work; such unified action on their part speaks to a situation where something about you yourself makes them all not want to work with you. Especially after that not-so-subtle hint from the dean that you should probably leave. It can't be a professional thing (i.e. plagiarism, unprofessional behavior) or an aspect of your ability (i.e. grades, research) because they would have openly stated if that were the case.

I am not hopeful after reading your account. The bridges may be already burnt. Maybe you should sit down with some close friends or fellow grad students and have them tell you if you have any shortcomings which make it difficult to work with you. It may be as simple as you are the political black sheep in the department and they don't want to hear your opinion, but it may also be intolerable personal traits which make it difficult to advise you: you don't listen to critiques, for example, or you are arrogant, etc. We can't know here on the internet, but your friends probably know, and probably have substantive suggestions for altering your behavior.

Any Neil Gaiman fans? I loved American Gods and enjoy his graphic series, too.

I've received that one too, twice. So have a few other grad students I know. I don't think it's an outright scam, but it's certainly worthless. Actually, telling people that you self-published might be worse than worthless because it reeks of desperation.

Just remember that you're hanging out together to talk shop, not to get wasted. In my experience of hanging out with the grad school crowd (I don't drink either), the students were mature enough to respect my choice of soda over alcohol (usually I'd treat myself to some grenadine syrup for some added flavor). It's easy to build up the worst-case scenario in your mind, but I think you'll find that the experience will be easy-breezy and drama free. Hope this helps!

Unfortunately, when dealing with a 230 question test based on centuries and centuries of literature, there are bound to be very few shortcuts. Personally, I've enjoyed the PR study guide bc it helps to determine which texts we should give a complete read through, and which ones should only be selectively reviewed.

Also, since I have heard there will be questions on literary vocabulary, I'd recommend picking up a copy of A Glossary of Literary Terms by M H Abrams.

Not all students try their best at writing, though. I think there is a glaringly obvious difference between the writing produced by a student who tries hard and makes unintended errors, versus a student who just writes to reach the required page length, failing to proofread and give any real consideration to the words written.

I personally view the site I linked to as relatively benign because 1) it's anonymous and 2) outside of a silly title, there are no further musings about the writing - no name calling, no derogatory statements, etc; it's just the students' own words. The reader is left to make their own criticisms and, for me, that largely translates to a simple feeling of "wow, I can't believe someone actually wrote/shared that."

This is not quite an answer on an exam or an assignment but I think it still qualifies: on a teaching evaluation under general comments and suggestions for improvement I once got the comment "The TA is too short, can't reach the top of the blackboard".

Not all students try their best at writing, though. I think there is a glaringly obvious difference between the writing produced by a student who tries hard and makes unintended errors, versus a student who just writes to reach the required page length, failing to proofread and give any real consideration to the words written.

I personally view the site I linked to as relatively benign because 1) it's anonymous and 2) outside of a silly title, there are no further musings about the writing - no name calling, no derogatory statements, etc; it's just the students' own words. The reader is left to make their own criticisms and, for me, that largely translates to a simple feeling of "wow, I can't believe someone actually wrote/shared that."

Might I suggest you do the same for my response?

IDK, there's just something about:


that doesn't really hit my sarcasm radar. Then again, this is the internetz.

Or maybe you're just pathetic.

Not all students try their best at writing, though. I think there is a glaringly obvious difference between the writing produced by a student who tries hard and makes unintended errors, versus a student who just writes to reach the required page length, failing to proofread and give any real consideration to the words written.

I personally view the site I linked to as relatively benign because 1) it's anonymous and 2) outside of a silly title, there are no further musings about the writing - no name calling, no derogatory statements, etc; it's just the students' own words. The reader is left to make their own criticisms and, for me, that largely translates to a simple feeling of "wow, I can't believe someone actually wrote/shared that."

Sigaba,

Check your offensiveness and insensitivity. (And believe me, that's the censored version).

bedalia

sigaba said "check your PMs." as in "private messages." not PMS, as in premenstrual syndrome. you should probably apologize.

@loosemygrip, you're basing your opinion on that work and that work alone? hmm, i see.

@thestranger, have you talked to the current students in the program about their experiences?

I think loosemygrip gave the link merely to highlight his own opinion, rather than lay the foundation for it.

I can see why one person's distaste in a school could make others a little combative, but the judgment of art really is a personal experience and is therefore subject to personal taste. Loosemygrip thinks the art produced by Yale students is terrible, you think it's good, but you're both right!

I think loosemygrip gave the link merely to highlight his own opinion, rather than lay the foundation for it.

I can see why one person's distaste in a school could make others a little combative, but the judgment of art really is a personal experience and is therefore subject to personal taste. Loosemygrip thinks the art produced by Yale students is terrible, you think it's good, but you're both right!

Almost certainly yes. Every school I applied to asked for all transcripts from all universities attended.

Will they find out if you decided to NOT submit transcripts? Again, almost certainly yes, eventually. Lying on admissions documents is the type of thing that gets you expelled.

What will you do when people at the new school ask what you're doing now? Lie to your new colleagues too?

Bad idea all around. Take your lumps -- "As you can see from my transcript, that last program was not a good fit... but here's why I am confident that your new program IS a good fit..." You'll probably need to explain why you were wrong last time, but right now.

OK, I have never ever taught a class before, and I can understand if you feel that this reply isn't useful, but why do you worry so much about it? If they want to learn the software they will pay attention. If they don't, they might go online. I absolutely see no biggie here. If they don't disturb the class and their peers, they might as well check their email. Or maybe they take notes on the laptops they use? The point is, they are presumably grown-ups and there to learn. If they don't pay attention, it has absolutely noting to do with you. Also, some people, like me, are better at multitasking (pay attention and do something else, maybe even take notes in word). As long as they don't type loudly, burst out laughing, or distract their peer's attention with their screen, then they can do whatever.
Also, if the purpose of the class is to learn software, well, then they should be at the computer with the program open, ready to start fiddling with the program you're teaching them. Maybe keep your presentation short, and then give them a problem to solve- you learn better by doing than by just seeing. Why would you want them to move away from the computer so they can't try what you're teaching them on the computer, on the spot, so they can ask you questions if they don't get it? If they just see you do it, they won't learn a thing (there is actually a study that proved that interactive tutorials are way better than just watch tutorials, though I don't have a citation)

Precisely how do you know that comparing numbers is "obviously" more helpful?

Do successful applicants get in primarily because of their numbers? Are other factors--including academic pedigree, LoRs, the SoP, interviews, correspondence, and behind-the-curtain discussions--that display an applicant's potential, punctuation, and personality are less important? What about the departmental politics and economic calculations that factor into the deliberation?

Do successful applicants get a debriefing that tells them why they were admitted and others were not? Or are they left to read the tea leaves and make guesses that, no matter how well founded and educated, are still guesses?

I understand the reservations a lot of people have with hanging out in bars or drinking with professors. But you have to understand where I'm coming from. As I said before, we have a bar on campus. Last spring, I had a class in the same building that houses the bar (it's in the basement; classrooms and offices are upstairs). The class got out at 4:20, and the bar opened for Happy Hour on Fridays at 4:30. Everyone in our class was over 21, except for one student, who happened to bartend starting at 4:30. So, on Fridays our professor would invite us to come downstairs and grab a drink with him, his wife, and his two young kids. Happy Hour on Fridays is very family-oriented, as our state allows all ages into bars as long as they're accompanied by parents. So, every Friday the bar is filled with professors and their families, who enjoy socializing with students. Nobody's getting wasted, it's just a place to hang out and enjoy bonding. I don't see that being much different than going to a professor's house for dinner.

Additionally, as I mentioned before, each department has an assigned night through the year where they "guest bartend." They encourage their older students to come and join them, and it's seen as a privilege students get to enjoy once they're older and, consequently, have forged deeper relationships with their professors.

Maybe I forgot to mention that my school consists only of undergrads. Maybe that changes the dynamic between professors and undergrads a bit. They treat upperclassmen, essentially, the way grad students are treated at many (perhaps most) universities. I understand that it might be inappropriate at a big school where profs are teaching hundreds of undergrads a semester, but when they have 30 or 40 at most, and everyone's invited to a central place on campus that's just as accessible (for the over-21s, of course) as a coffeeshop, I don't really see the problem. Drinking doesn't have to mean partying. I don't really get why people can't see the difference.

As far as my comment about "refusing to forge a personal relationship" goes, I guess what I meant was referring to Sigaba's refusal to call a professor by his first name, even after the professor "insisted" (s)he do so. While I feel uncomfortable calling a professor by anything but "Prof. X" until they've told me otherwise, if they outright tell me to use their first name, I'd be uncomfortable not using it.

This thread reminds me why I love this site.

I just turned 31 this month. I attended college from age 18-20 , dropped out, returned at 23 and finished in the middle of my 25th year summa cum laude.

I have been drifting around the corporate world and making a decent career, but it doesn't excite me the way academia does. I want to go back for a master's and eventually a doctorate, but I am still debating many particulars. That's for another thread. But what is relevant here is that, having been out of school for awhile, and having gone through my undergrad with no intentions of pursuing a higher degree, I have much work to do before I can even think about applying.

So I may be 32 or 33 before I even begin work on a master's.

And here I see people of all ages, with all backgrounds, pursuing all manner of higher degrees for all manner of reasons. What binds us all together is a passion for learning. And that makes me genuinely happy.

Hmmm. I'm really not trying to be antagonistic here, but something doesn't make sense to me about your situation. You seem to think that everyone is "out to get you": partner sabotaged you, advisor is sabotaging you, and now you think your advisor is trying to get other people to sabotage you. Notice a pattern, here? That's a lot of people, especially given the amount of time and effort it takes to make another person's life (in this case, you) a living hell.

Anything is possible nowadays, so maybe this really is happening - in which case, what a nightmare. But perhaps you're reading into this a bit much? Grad school naturally involves heavy criticism because you need to be able to produce work at a certain level, and it comes from every angle: advisors, professors, and fellow colleagues. Without a doubt criticism can weigh heavily on people - some more than others - and it can often feel like you just aren't doing anything right and that everyone else hates you because of it. Not to mention, if you didn't pass a few classes - regardless of the reason - you are likely missing crucial bits of foundational knowledge that is needed to succeed in your field. Your work is probably suffering, as a result, though you may not see it that way.



Things to consider: First, have you really tried to converse with her, or have you been accusatory? People generally don't respond well to the latter. Second, is she really listing out your personal failures (did you mean professional failures, or does she really know you so well that she attacks your personal choices, too?) or is she telling you what you need to improve upon. Everyone needs to improve upon something; no one produces perfect work. And, again, the fact that you had troubles the first couple of years points to the possibility that you have more catching up to do than your peers. I'm sorry, but people just don't go from failing classes to producing top work at the flip of a switch.

Obviously, I don't know your situation first-hand so I can only speculate, but I am inclined to believe that you're not taking enough responsibility for the work you are producing and that you're having a tough time dealing with the criticism. Sorry to be so harsh, but that's just my own take based on what you've presented to me.

I strongly recommend that you talk to someone outside of your department about the stress you're under. School therapist, personal therapist, friends, family. Just talk to someone. If you really feel that you are being unfairly attacked, then take your problem above your advisor. Address your concerns, provide documented proof of any wrongdoing, and suggest the resolution that you'd like to see implemented. Will your advisor be mad that you went above her? Probably. But you already think she hates you, so that's moot. If you ultimately cannot find the resolution you seek, you might consider leaving the school. Good luck, it's a tough world out there.

Hmmm. I'm really not trying to be antagonistic here, but something doesn't make sense to me about your situation. You seem to think that everyone is "out to get you": partner sabotaged you, advisor is sabotaging you, and now you think your advisor is trying to get other people to sabotage you. Notice a pattern, here? That's a lot of people, especially given the amount of time and effort it takes to make another person's life (in this case, you) a living hell.

Anything is possible nowadays, so maybe this really is happening - in which case, what a nightmare. But perhaps you're reading into this a bit much? Grad school naturally involves heavy criticism because you need to be able to produce work at a certain level, and it comes from every angle: advisors, professors, and fellow colleagues. Without a doubt criticism can weigh heavily on people - some more than others - and it can often feel like you just aren't doing anything right and that everyone else hates you because of it. Not to mention, if you didn't pass a few classes - regardless of the reason - you are likely missing crucial bits of foundational knowledge that is needed to succeed in your field. Your work is probably suffering, as a result, though you may not see it that way.



Things to consider: First, have you really tried to converse with her, or have you been accusatory? People generally don't respond well to the latter. Second, is she really listing out your personal failures (did you mean professional failures, or does she really know you so well that she attacks your personal choices, too?) or is she telling you what you need to improve upon. Everyone needs to improve upon something; no one produces perfect work. And, again, the fact that you had troubles the first couple of years points to the possibility that you have more catching up to do than your peers. I'm sorry, but people just don't go from failing classes to producing top work at the flip of a switch.

Obviously, I don't know your situation first-hand so I can only speculate, but I am inclined to believe that you're not taking enough responsibility for the work you are producing and that you're having a tough time dealing with the criticism. Sorry to be so harsh, but that's just my own take based on what you've presented to me.

I strongly recommend that you talk to someone outside of your department about the stress you're under. School therapist, personal therapist, friends, family. Just talk to someone. If you really feel that you are being unfairly attacked, then take your problem above your advisor. Address your concerns, provide documented proof of any wrongdoing, and suggest the resolution that you'd like to see implemented. Will your advisor be mad that you went above her? Probably. But you already think she hates you, so that's moot. If you ultimately cannot find the resolution you seek, you might consider leaving the school. Good luck, it's a tough world out there.

Hmmm. I'm really not trying to be antagonistic here, but something doesn't make sense to me about your situation. You seem to think that everyone is "out to get you": partner sabotaged you, advisor is sabotaging you, and now you think your advisor is trying to get other people to sabotage you. Notice a pattern, here? That's a lot of people, especially given the amount of time and effort it takes to make another person's life (in this case, you) a living hell.

Anything is possible nowadays, so maybe this really is happening - in which case, what a nightmare. But perhaps you're reading into this a bit much? Grad school naturally involves heavy criticism because you need to be able to produce work at a certain level, and it comes from every angle: advisors, professors, and fellow colleagues. Without a doubt criticism can weigh heavily on people - some more than others - and it can often feel like you just aren't doing anything right and that everyone else hates you because of it. Not to mention, if you didn't pass a few classes - regardless of the reason - you are likely missing crucial bits of foundational knowledge that is needed to succeed in your field. Your work is probably suffering, as a result, though you may not see it that way.



Things to consider: First, have you really tried to converse with her, or have you been accusatory? People generally don't respond well to the latter. Second, is she really listing out your personal failures (did you mean professional failures, or does she really know you so well that she attacks your personal choices, too?) or is she telling you what you need to improve upon. Everyone needs to improve upon something; no one produces perfect work. And, again, the fact that you had troubles the first couple of years points to the possibility that you have more catching up to do than your peers. I'm sorry, but people just don't go from failing classes to producing top work at the flip of a switch.

Obviously, I don't know your situation first-hand so I can only speculate, but I am inclined to believe that you're not taking enough responsibility for the work you are producing and that you're having a tough time dealing with the criticism. Sorry to be so harsh, but that's just my own take based on what you've presented to me.

I strongly recommend that you talk to someone outside of your department about the stress you're under. School therapist, personal therapist, friends, family. Just talk to someone. If you really feel that you are being unfairly attacked, then take your problem above your advisor. Address your concerns, provide documented proof of any wrongdoing, and suggest the resolution that you'd like to see implemented. Will your advisor be mad that you went above her? Probably. But you already think she hates you, so that's moot. If you ultimately cannot find the resolution you seek, you might consider leaving the school. Good luck, it's a tough world out there.