2018 venting thread

[la_mod]

I know it's a little early for a venting thread, but... oh well. How are you all doing? What miscellaneous gripes do you have that don't fit into the other threads? share your woes with us!

Here's mine: I have had to switch health insurance three times in the past year and am having to change doctors again. Usually this wouldn't bother me so much, but I feel *so* on edge wrt grad admissions and can't help but think "if I had gotten into a program last year, I'd totally have stability in my life right now." 

Anyway, it may not even be February yet, but let's commiserate together. 

[mk-8]

One of my tires keeps losing air. The "low tire pressure" light has come on like 3 times in the last month. My tires are pretty old and close to being needed to be replaced, but I reallllly don't want to have to pay for new tires. I'm taking it to a shop today, so hopefully they can patch it and I can at least carry on for the next few months. 

[la_mod]

7 minutes ago, mk-8 said:

One of my tires keeps losing air. The "low tire pressure" light has come on like 3 times in the last month. My tires are pretty old and close to being needed to be replaced, but I reallllly don't want to have to pay for new tires. I'm taking it to a shop today, so hopefully they can patch it and I can at least carry on for the next few months. 

How annoying! I've also been having various car issues. I know it can make it at least a few more months, but I wish I knew where I'll be living next year. If it's somewhere that requires a commute I'm probably going to have to hit up Craigslist. 

Hopefully your tires are an easy / cheap fix!

[mk-8]

23 minutes ago, la_mod said:

How annoying! I've also been having various car issues. I know it can make it at least a few more months, but I wish I knew where I'll be living next year. If it's somewhere that requires a commute I'm probably going to have to hit up Craigslist. 

Hopefully your tires are an easy / cheap fix!

Car issues are the woooooooooorst because they're so expensive! My dad is a car guy, but my dad is quite far away now so....  

And I'm so sorry about having the change insurance! It's so tricky. I had some battles with my health insurance company last year because they wouldn't cover my one of my doctor's visits and I was just kinda like well what's the point of having yooouuu?

[FreakyFoucault]

On the car topic, I just put $1000 into my poor Cobalt to fix some front-end issues, and now I hear a very disturbing scraping/grinding sound when I cut left. 

Can’t the STEM people figure out teleportation already? 

[ashley623]

I've applied for so many jobs and literally only heard back from two, and neither of those worked out because the hours were much less than what they advertised. I'm so frustrated. I'm no longer trying to even find anything pertinent to my degree, I just need a job, but it's so slow and I'm starting to get stressed. I have something lined up for February and the beginning of March, but I really would feel better if I had something solidified.

Also, I got my tonsils out Wednesday and still feel like hell a lot of the times. I keep checking my email hoping that a grad app response would cheer up me, but nothing so far...

[la_mod]

26 minutes ago, katie64 said:

I've applied for so many jobs and literally only heard back from two, and neither of those worked out because the hours were much less than what they advertised. I'm so frustrated. I'm no longer trying to even find anything pertinent to my degree, I just need a job, but it's so slow and I'm starting to get stressed. I have something lined up for February and the beginning of March, but I really would feel better if I had something solidified.

Also, I got my tonsils out Wednesday and still feel like hell a lot of the times. I keep checking my email hoping that a grad app response would cheer up me, but nothing so far...

oh goooooosh what a rough week. As awful as grad apps are, I think I hate applying for jobs more....

[E. Coronaria]

This thread is giving me life. 

I took my car to a mechanic last week because the SOS button was leaking onto the center console. They tinkered with it and they told me the sunroof in my 2002 car rusted through and now  (because they tinkered with) I get directly dripped on if it has rained at all in the last 24 hours. Hilarious? Yes. Fun? No. 

[E. Coronaria]

2 hours ago, katie64 said:

I've applied for so many jobs and literally only heard back from two, and neither of those worked out because the hours were much less than what they advertised. I'm so frustrated. I'm no longer trying to even find anything pertinent to my degree, I just need a job, but it's so slow and I'm starting to get stressed. I have something lined up for February and the beginning of March, but I really would feel better if I had something solidified.

Also, I got my tonsils out Wednesday and still feel like hell a lot of the times. I keep checking my email hoping that a grad app response would cheer up me, but nothing so far...

Hang in there! I applied for a slew of jobs but eventually had to take one part time for awhile. In an odd twist of fate, they surprise promoted me. 

The job market sucks, but it will work out. 

[WildeThing]

I got back to my apartment Saturday night and my roommate had moved out while I was away (1 of 4). He left the bathroom a mess, food in the fridge, basically shit everywhere and because we were all away at different times no one knew what was his so it’s just been rotting away. Like why don’t you jus throw your stuff out?

[maengret]

I hate how long this process takes. Since the time my spouse and I decided we’d relocate based on where (if) I get accepted, a new company started recruiting him. New job would mean staying put. But he can’t decline the overtures yet because if I get shut out, we’ll need the better income (edit: and he’d probably love the job). But he may need to make a decision before I get decisions. 

Edited January 30, 2018 by maengret

[M(allthevowels)H]

12 hours ago, jpbends said:

Venting as a kind of double-edged sword. On the plus side, in December I was notified that my paper proposal had been accepted to present at the 2018 Association for Asian American Studies conference. On the other hand, waiting to hear back from conference grant applications (and graduate school!) has me ripping my hear out.

Congratulations!! At least you have had some momentum during the wait. I haven't had the motivation to do much but compulsively check my email and look up cheap apartments in cities where I will probably never live. 

7 hours ago, maengret said:

I hate how long this process takes. Since the time my spouse and I decided we’d relocate based on where (if) I get accepted, a new company started recruiting him. New job would mean staying put. But he can’t decline the overtures yet because if I get shut out, we’ll need the better income (edit: and he’d probably love the job). But he may need to make a decision before I get decisions. 

It takes so long and puts so much on hold! Just tell me one way or another so I can tell my landlord if I'm renewing my lease!

[la_mod]

7 hours ago, maengret said:

I hate how long this process takes. Since the time my spouse and I decided we’d relocate based on where (if) I get accepted, a new company started recruiting him. New job would mean staying put. But he can’t decline the overtures yet because if I get shut out, we’ll need the better income (edit: and he’d probably love the job). But he may need to make a decision before I get decisions. 

Oof, I feel you. I'm in a similar situation where I applied to my dream backup job and made it to the second round. Not sure how to casually bring up that I'm waiting to hear back from 15 schools....

[Yanaka]

I need to vent! I need to corral all these false hopes and expectations. I'm already picturing myself in Central Jersey in a solo place (a nice 1-bedroom) apartment with my two cats, a brand new used car from Craigslist, and my brand new horse just 20-30minutes away on top of my cute TA ship at a program. Why am I like this? I haven't even heard anything like this, I won't be able to afford my own horse, I don't know how much it is to have a car, and I will probably want to spend a year in France if I can so what's the horse going to do in the mean time??? 

And am I supposed to buy a place if I get into a program?? Is it a better idea?? Is it safe to be a single woman in a little house in the 'burbs???

Edited January 31, 2018 by Yanaka

[posts]

The horse will fill in as TA, of course!

 

[Yanaka]

12 minutes ago, turtleducks said:

The horse will fill in as TA, of course!

 

Hopefully!!! Hahaha

[la_mod]

A vent / question: how do you deal with people who don't "get it" re: applying to grad school?

The past few days I've been quite upset with the anticipation of being rejected and my boyfriend (who is very pragmatic and whose parents both have college degrees and a lot of background information about how to get good-paying jobs, hence his choice to enter a lucrative and stable field) remarked "why are you going into something that you know is rigged against you?" 

He totally means well and I know he's upset seeing me SO upset over this, but what am I to say to that / all of the other things that people have asked me? I think I said "this is all that I'm good at and all that I care about," but then remembered that I'm obviously *not* good at it if I don't get in.... I'm at a loss here, y'all. 

[bumbleblu]

10 minutes ago, la_mod said:

A vent / question: how do you deal with people who don't "get it" re: applying to grad school?

The past few days I've been quite upset with the anticipation of being rejected and my boyfriend (who is very pragmatic and whose parents both have college degrees and a lot of background information about how to get good-paying jobs, hence his choice to enter a lucrative and stable field) remarked "why are you going into something that you know is rigged against you?" 

He totally means well and I know he's upset seeing me SO upset over this, but what am I to say to that / all of the other things that people have asked me? I think I said "this is all that I'm good at and all that I care about," but then remembered that I'm obviously *not* good at it if I don't get in.... I'm at a loss here, y'all. 

I wish I knew. I have friends who -- especially lately -- just completely belittle the idea of grad school/academia. I never know what to say in response and basically clam up and try not to spiral into a self-deprecating abyss. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[nichts]

49 minutes ago, la_mod said:

A vent / question: how do you deal with people who don't "get it" re: applying to grad school?

To the people who know you well enough to deserve a real answer, I would put it simply: I hope to lead a meaningful life, and this is what is meaningful to me. If you want to explain it in more quantitative terms, you might mention that we spend the majority of our lives at work, so it makes sense to pursue a job that you find challenging and more than just a source of income or stability. More recently I'd be inclined to say this is the only rat race I can stand...

40 minutes ago, bumbleblu said:

I never know what to say in response and basically clam up and try not to spiral into a self-deprecating abyss.

For acquaintances, I tend to laugh it off with a self-deprecating joke—y'know, how you've always wanted a career with low pay, little recognition, and no demand? That kind of thing.

Edited January 31, 2018 by Jožin z bažin

[Yanaka]

I think people don’t get that it’s so competitive to get into a university program. They would understand better if it were like a private school or maybe exclusively Ivy Leagues. I ended up saying something in the lines of “there’s some sort of entry competition, it’s really hard to get in”, and they would understand better than applying to universities. Maybe it’s just in France where the getting in part is easier than it is here...

[unicornsarereal]

13 minutes ago, Yanaka said:

I think people don’t get that it’s so competitive to get into a university program. They would understand better if it were like a private school or maybe exclusively Ivy Leagues. I ended up saying something in the lines of “there’s some sort of entry competition, it’s really hard to get in”, and they would understand better than applying to universities. Maybe it’s just in France where the getting in part is easier than it is here...

EVERYONE tells me "Oh, you'll get in loads of place." No, I won't, and your saying that will only make me feel worse when I do not.

[FreakyFoucault]

1 hour ago, la_mod said:

but then remembered that I'm obviously *not* good at it if I don't get in.... I'm at a loss here, y'all. 

I have to disagree with this. There are WAY too many variables of which students are necessarily unaware when applying to grad school. 

For example:

1) Fit isn’t right / subspecialty room: You could be the brightest aspiring Americanist of your generation, but if University X’s English department doesn’t have room or funding for another Americanist, then you’ll likely be rejected to no fault of your own. Departments aren’t always clear (not necessarily their fault either) about how much space they have for each subspeciality. 

2) Hidden GRE/GPA requirements: perhaps all the departments you’ve applied to want near perfect scores and GPAs. Again, you could be proposing groundbreaking research or have even published a remarkably promising article or book, and still be rejected because you got mono junior year or the flu when you took your GRE. Or maybe standardized tests aren’t your forte. The point is, these scores probably don’t correlate with academic English research potential. 

3) Departmental politics / inarticulable negatives: it could be possible, for whatever reason, that the adcom merely didn’t like the cut of your jib. There may or may not be a reason here, but in all likelihood you’ll never know for sure either way. 

The point of all these variables is that all are outside your control and have no bearing on your academic abilities. It’s this futility that makes applications frustrating and agita-laden, but there’s unfortunately nothing that can be done. That said, I’m pulling for you all here! Hopefully none of these variables end up mattering! 

Edited January 31, 2018 by FreakyFoucault

[la_mod]

6 minutes ago, unicornsarereal said:

EVERYONE tells me "Oh, you'll get in loads of place." No, I won't, and your saying that will only make me feel worse when I do not.

ugh, this is so real. the best consolation i ever got when whining about grad school was "i think you'll get in, but you might not get in anywhere. that being said, you're smart enough to figure out a great plan b if you don't get in, and it's going to be fine."

 

5 minutes ago, FreakyFoucault said:

have no bearing on your academic abilities. It’s the futility that make sure applications frustrating and agita-laden, but there’s unfortunately nothing that can be done. That said, I’m pulling for you all here! Hopefully none of these variables end up mattering! 

yeah, that's true. BUT if this is the second year i'm applying with a high gpa (4.0 in english), pretty high gres, aaaaand conferences and publications, i'm not going to feel like there's anything else i can do. which comes back to it being "rigged" i guess. what i think i'm getting at isn't that i'm a "bad" student / candidate, but that if i don't get in regardless, all of my merits aren't going to matter much (for this). i'm not sure if i've explained that well at all? agh. i'm frustrated. 

[Yanaka]

10 minutes ago, unicornsarereal said:

EVERYONE tells me "Oh, you'll get in loads of place." No, I won't, and your saying that will only make me feel worse when I do not.

Yes!! It makes it so much worse. I can't explain exactly why, probably in part because it makes your hopes even more vain. 

On another note, I submitted my proposal for the UVA grad conference, and they said in the auto email that they should get back to us "early Feb." There are too many expectations for one month, people. 

Oh, also, our yoga instructor this morning said that if our January was crappy, there's a new eclipse tonight so we can consider Feb 1st as the real new year. HELL YES

[la_mod]

2 minutes ago, Yanaka said:

Yes!! It makes it so much worse. I can't explain exactly why, probably in part because it makes your hopes even more vain. 

On another note, I submitted my proposal for the UVA grad conference, and they said in the auto email that they should get back to us "early Feb." There are too many expectations for one month, people. 

Oh, also, our yoga instructor this morning said that if our January was crappy, there's a new eclipse tonight so we can consider Feb 1st as the real new year. HELL YES

it also makes it feel like i've disappointed everyone who believed in me!

i'm also choosing to believe your yoga instructor and simultaneously blaming my despair on the eclipse!