"Let's just TALK about it..." Decision Edition

[FishNerd]

@cinderellasyndrome I have to agree with @SomeoneThrewMyShoe that from the outside you really seem excited about School B and I think being excited can go a long way. It really sounds like you want to branch out away from your alma mater and experience something new (new area, new colleagues, etc) at School A. That could be a really good thing for you because living in a new area can really help you grow as a person and help you figure out that you may want different things out of life than if you hadn't branched out and gone to that new place. Also if you plan on staying in academia you usually have to be willing to make some sort of move to find a good PhD program or to find an academic position eventually. I've also heard that having diversity on where you have gotten your different degrees can look really good on future academic job applications (I guess because it shows you have a broader network of colleagues and you haven't exclusively been educated by the same group of people?).

Honestly it sounds like your biggest hang up is the money difference and I don't think you should let that hold you back from choosing School B if that is where you prefer to go. You could get out small loans like @SomeoneThrewMyShoe suggested or have your parents help you since that seems to be on the table for you. I know you say you are reluctant to have your parents help, but maybe have a frank conversation about this and see how much of a burden it would be on them to help somewhat? If they are more than willing to help and it is financially feasible to do so I don't think you should discount their help. I personally received some financial help from my parents during my masters for which I am eternally grateful since it did allow me to attend the school I really wanted to attend. I am so glad they did help me because otherwise I would have had to take out some loans to help with cost of living so I am very thankful they could help me and were more than willing to do so.

Edit: Also if the cost difference between School A and School B is because you would be living at home for School A and not paying rent or groceries I think you should maybe consider that if your parents are willing to keep helping you out with those things at home or away (since you say they could help you with some costs of living at School B ) then I really don't think you should overlook the help they have offered you if you go to School B. They would be helping with your costs of living at School A anyway and they seem to maybe want to keep helping you at School B. However, if this is a complete misinterpretation of your situation then just ignore this lol

Edited April 12, 2018 by FishNerd

[cinderellasyndrome]

On 4/12/2018 at 5:40 PM, FishNerd said:

@cinderellasyndrome I have to agree with @SomeoneThrewMyShoe that from the outside you really seem excited about School B and I think being excited can go a long way. It really sounds like you want to branch out away from your alma mater and experience something new (new area, new colleagues, etc) at School A. That could be a really good thing for you because living in a new area can really help you grow as a person and help you figure out that you may want different things out of life than if you hadn't branched out and gone to that new place. Also if you plan on staying in academia you usually have to be willing to make some sort of move to find a good PhD program or to find an academic position eventually. I've also heard that having diversity on where you have gotten your different degrees can look really good on future academic job applications (I guess because it shows you have a broader network of colleagues and you haven't exclusively been educated by the same group of people?).

Honestly it sounds like your biggest hang up is the money difference and I don't think you should let that hold you back from choosing School B if that is where you prefer to go. You could get out small loans like @SomeoneThrewMyShoe suggested or have your parents help you since that seems to be on the table for you. I know you say you are reluctant to have your parents help, but maybe have a frank conversation about this and see how much of a burden it would be on them to help somewhat? If they are more than willing to help and it is financially feasible to do so I don't think you should discount their help. I personally received some financial help from my parents during my masters for which I am eternally grateful since it did allow me to attend the school I really wanted to attend. I am so glad they did help me because otherwise I would have had to take out some loans to help with cost of living so I am very thankful they could help me and were more than willing to do so.

Edit: Also if the cost difference between School A and School B is because you would be living at home for School A and not paying rent or groceries I think you should maybe consider that if your parents are willing to keep helping you out with those things at home or away (since you say they could help you with some costs of living at School B ) then I really don't think you should overlook the help they have offered you if you go to School B. They would be helping with your costs of living at School A anyway and they seem to maybe want to keep helping you at School B. However, if this is a complete misinterpretation of your situation then just ignore this lol

Thank you so much for putting so much time into this! It really does help to hear how I come off when speaking about this to someone who doesn't have all the context. I am much more excited about School B and am basically ready to commit. The cost difference is not due to rent, but my parents and I have spoken about it in a way that makes me comfortable accepting some help from them (and it's also nice to hear I'm not the only one in this situation, so thank you for your candor about that). I so agree with the personal growth part and I'm very excited for what's to come.

[FishNerd]

12 hours ago, cinderellasyndrome said:

Thank you so much for putting so much time into this! It really does help to hear how I come off when speaking about this to someone who doesn't have all the context. I am much more excited about School B and am basically ready to commit. The cost difference is not due to rent, but my parents and I have spoken about it in a way that makes me comfortable accepting some help from them (and it's also nice to hear I'm not the only one in this situation, so thank you for your candor about that). I so agree with the personal growth part and I'm very excited for what's to come.

I'm glad I was able to help and that you are excited about everything coming up for you!

No problem about speaking frankly about receiving some financial help from my parents. I think if they are willing and it is financially feasible for them and they aren't paying all of your expenses, then you can think of your masters as a route to becoming truly financially independent from them - this is how I approached it. My parents helped with stuff like car insurance, cell phone, and health expenses but otherwise I covered all of my other expenses (rent, bills, groceries, car maintenance, etc.) and now that I will be moving onto my PhD I will be covering all of my expenses so I'm glad I was kind of able to be weaned off of their help during my masters. It means I'm not carrying forward debt from my masters and it meant that I could live semi-comfortably on the piddly stipend I got during my masters. I really appreciate it and they're happy they were able to help me meet my goals. It sounds like your parents feel the same and I'm glad you feel comfortable receiving some help from them because I truly don't think it is anything to be ashamed of.

[Oklash]

OH NOOOOO! 

I asked to visit a school soon after I was accepted in March but the director's response was somehow sent to my spam folder and I never saw it. I took the non-response as a sign of disorganization and little interest in me. I was really excited about the school but without meeting them in person, I didn't commit. Turns out my spam folder was just blocking their correspondence which is strange because that did not happen with other emails from the department. I feel like such a rude terrible person now. They offered me something and I did not respond. The deadline to make a decision is TOMORROW and I hate that I have to decline their offer after they offered me a visit and I didn't get the chance to take them up on that offer. 

I really hope they wont be too upset with me.

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

So I submitted all my declinations last week and I wanted to throw up after. Although I believe I made the right choice for me and my future career, I hate having to say no and have never had to do so for school before (only applying to one school sometimes has its perks). 

[Oklash]

6 minutes ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

So I submitted all my declinations last week and I wanted to throw up after. Although I believe I made the right choice for me and my future career, I hate having to say no and have never had to do so for school before (only applying to one school sometimes has its perks). 

I know exactly what you mean. 

Most of my friends applied to phd programs with only one school in mind. They applied to backups but after they got into their one goal school they pretty much dropped all other options. They even cancelled interviews. These were not funded programs or ones with potential benefits like faculty, research and people of interest but still, I envy their ability to choose.

Im glad you made the right decision 

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

Thanks @Oklash!

For me, I didn't apply this time with one school in mind. In fact, I made a point not to rank my school list before being accepted so I could go in without bias. I chose a great program, but it was really hard to choose between them and one other program. And I hate saying no, haha.

[Oklash]

So what now?

I put so much time into grad apps and decision making that now that i finally have a program and it’s finally past April 15th, I don’t know what to do with myself. It sounds silly but now I’m just listlessly waiting for fall to arrive :/. I’m reading up on discipline literature and working on language requirements but now that the excitement of the past few months has dwindled...I’m kind of bored. I feel kind of empty without any deadlines to meet, advice to seek or work to do. Oh well, I should probably just  enjoy the down time while I can because I’m sure I will be singing a different tune when the responsibilities of grad school kick in 

[SomeoneThrewMyShoe]

16 hours ago, Oklash said:

So what now?

I put so much time into grad apps and decision making that now that i finally have a program and it’s finally past April 15th, I don’t know what to do with myself. It sounds silly but now I’m just listlessly waiting for fall to arrive :/. I’m reading up on discipline literature and working on language requirements but now that the excitement of the past few months has dwindled...I’m kind of bored. I feel kind of empty without any deadlines to meet, advice to seek or work to do. Oh well, I should probably just  enjoy the down time while I can because I’m sure I will be singing a different tune when the responsibilities of grad school kick in 

SAME. I feel kind of empty? Like I feel like there's something else I should really be doing (besides my masters thesis, but I digress). Instead I'm just watching tons of Law and Order: SVU. 

 I'm totally in love with my program and I'm SUPER HYPE about all of it and I signed a lease but...like...I feel like I need SOMETHING TO DO. I wish they gave me summer homework or something. 

[AB121212]

16 hours ago, Oklash said:

So what now?

I put so much time into grad apps and decision making that now that i finally have a program and it’s finally past April 15th, I don’t know what to do with myself. It sounds silly but now I’m just listlessly waiting for fall to arrive :/. I’m reading up on discipline literature and working on language requirements but now that the excitement of the past few months has dwindled...I’m kind of bored. I feel kind of empty without any deadlines to meet, advice to seek or work to do. Oh well, I should probably just  enjoy the down time while I can because I’m sure I will be singing a different tune when the responsibilities of grad school kick in 

Same. My current job ends in June so now I'm looking forward to a long, uneventful, likely income-less summer. I'd love to get the syllabuses/textbooks for my fall classes so I can start studying but I don't even think my cohort is filled yet and they haven't given us much info.
 

Doesn't help that I currently live in rural Ohio, aka the absolute middle of nowhere.

[iwearflowers]

18 hours ago, Oklash said:

So what now?

I put so much time into grad apps and decision making that now that i finally have a program and it’s finally past April 15th, I don’t know what to do with myself. It sounds silly but now I’m just listlessly waiting for fall to arrive :/. I’m reading up on discipline literature and working on language requirements but now that the excitement of the past few months has dwindled...I’m kind of bored. I feel kind of empty without any deadlines to meet, advice to seek or work to do. Oh well, I should probably just  enjoy the down time while I can because I’m sure I will be singing a different tune when the responsibilities of grad school kick in 

After I sent in my decisions, I spent three weeks in a funk. I think a lot of it was just adrenaline letdown. In the last week or so, I've been working on setting goals for the summer - things I want to do in my current city before I leave, healthy habits I want to focus on, reading and review I want to complete before the fall semester starts. I always feel better when I have goals to work on and things to plan for, and it's helped me feel a bit more normal.

[NotAlice]

I found out this week that I'm off the wait list for funding at my school. It's a funded master's, so I'm very happy. I finish my undergraduate in two weeks and then I think about all the logistics for fall. 

[DD94]

I got into two MA programs. I also already rejected one - too far away and no funding. The other one isnt funded either but its a great program. My decision is bite the bullet and be at least 25k more in debt for the first year ( I have 15k right now) or find a job. I've been applying to jobs but I should have started earlier because my deadline to decide on the program is on Tuesday and I cant decide. Each day I wake up with a different decision and I don't know what to do.

 

The teachers I talk to all say get a job for a year and re apply to PhD programs only because they think Ill get in, the students all say go to the program. 

[Bayesian1701]

On 4/18/2018 at 5:16 PM, Oklash said:

So what now?

I put so much time into grad apps and decision making that now that i finally have a program and it’s finally past April 15th, I don’t know what to do with myself. It sounds silly but now I’m just listlessly waiting for fall to arrive :/. I’m reading up on discipline literature and working on language requirements but now that the excitement of the past few months has dwindled...I’m kind of bored. I feel kind of empty without any deadlines to meet, advice to seek or work to do. Oh well, I should probably just  enjoy the down time while I can because I’m sure I will be singing a different tune when the responsibilities of grad school kick in 

I am so bored too.  I have a paper due and three easy finals and about 3 weeks to graduation.  This summer I am not working and my plan is to DIY decor for my new apartment and relax. I am a little bit anxious about starting in the fall.  I want to meet my cohort already (or at least know who is in it) and move to my new town.  I want to see how in over my head I am.  Most people at that program come in with a masters and I am going straight into a Ph.D. program after graduating undergrad in three years.  I am totally afraid of failure.

[dilemmas]

Hi everyone! I am starting a bus. analytics masters. I have been accepted by my second school which was my second choice school. My first choice school did not answer me yet. But this other school accepted me immediately after I applied, gave me a partial scholarship and graduate assistantship which is rare in masters programs and gave me so little time to give them an answer that I had to accept the offer. So early, I did not have any other offers. I have taken back my applications from schools that are lower choices for me from that one so only three remained. Now I like this new school so much better and it was a higher choice from the old one anyway. They have a huge difference in rankings and reputation, most importantly the research in the new school is so much better for me. 

I do not know about the funding yet. Assistantship is not definite, since I am a masters student I can only apply if they have a spot available. But I still want it. Now how am I going to say the other school I will not be coming? I feel really bad, but if they have given me more time I would not have to accept it prematurely. And the professor there was so nice.. 

[kasturi]

I got into Emory and Tufts to study an MPH. I have received partial funding from both, but overall I save money going to Emory (living and tuition). Does anybody have an opinion about either of the schools and why I must consider one over the other? I am very confused. And I need to make a decision real soon.

[DraPHt2016]

Not sure if this is the right place for this post but here goes...

So by April 15th, and I had not heard from all of the schools I applied to but one of my acceptances was to one of my top choices so I told them of my intent to enroll. Fast forward to now and I recently heard from one of the other schools I was waiting on. They have offered me a 3 year fellowship which includes a stipend and tuition waiver. The first school offered me nothing, but my POI was willing to bring me on as a Research Assistant. 

My dilemma is how to talk to tell School 1 that I no longer plan to enroll? Earlier on my POI and I both had a very candid conversation about the lack of funding at the institution so I know (or least I hope) that she will understand the amazing opportunity that I have been offered. Would it be okay to call her personally and inform her of this? Obviously, I would make my official notice to the program director and school via email, but I feel that it would be respectful to reach out to her personally since she has already done so much to help me and we have a rapport.

Lastly, would it be improper to ask POI if any funding opportunities are on the horizon that would make attending School 1 over School 2 viable? I really like School 1, but I already have debt from my Master's degree so I can't imagine taking on an additional $50K+.

Help!