Tired of people asking if I got in...in December

[sputnik]

So I know it's because they love me that they ask, but can I just say I dont know how much longer I can take having to repeat,"I don't find out until March," to people. I want to just make a t-shirt or something. Waiting alone is making me crazy enough. It seems like every day someone is asking me. And, God less them, they say, "Oh I don't know why you're worried! You'll get in." I wish it were that simple.

Hope I don't sound like too much of an ungrateful jerk. It's just the nerves.

[newms]

So I know it's because they love me that they ask, but can I just say I dont know how much longer I can take having to repeat,"I don't find out until March," to people. I want to just make a t-shirt or something. Waiting alone is making me crazy enough. It seems like every day someone is asking me. And, God less them, they say, "Oh I don't know why you're worried! You'll get in." I wish it were that simple.

Hope I don't sound like too much of an ungrateful jerk. It's just the nerves.

I know how hard that can be and what's worse, from experience, is having to tell people that you didn't get in when they ask. But hang in there, hopefully you'll get some positive news in early February.

[Alyanumbers]

Hey, my grandmother was asking if I got in before I'd even submitted any apps!

[Tall Chai Latte]

Hey, I feel ya! I was there last year, with everyone at work (I worked in a research lab) asking me if I got any interviews since December, and starting February they kept asking me "have you decided yet?" all the way til April 15th, after that they kept asking me "when is your last day" all the way til August. Yeah.. I know it's annoying, especially when you are anxiously waiting for an answer from the schools. Hang in there! This is only the beginning, bigger challenge awaits after you get accepted! You will do fine

[Bukharan]

I wonder whether there is anyone else who is intensely private about applications?

[murkyama]

So I know it's because they love me that they ask, but can I just say I dont know how much longer I can take having to repeat,"I don't find out until March," to people. I want to just make a t-shirt or something. Waiting alone is making me crazy enough. It seems like every day someone is asking me. And, God less them, they say, "Oh I don't know why you're worried! You'll get in." I wish it were that simple.

Hope I don't sound like too much of an ungrateful jerk. It's just the nerves.

I feel ya on this one. I have friends who are in the same process as I and are asking me if I have heard anything back yet. I like the T-Shirt idea.

[murkyama]

I wonder whether there is anyone else who is intensely private about applications?

A colleague of mine is very private about his applications.

[LJK]

Hey, my grandmother was asking if I got in before I'd even submitted any apps!

My LoR prof asked me if I had gotten in anywhere yet - the one who has been serially late with my LoRs! I laughed at him and he didn't understand what was funny.

[crayolacat]

Keeping it secret makes me feel like it won't happen. So I've treated it like a behavior change commitment and told people. My life WILL be changing people! Will so, will so, will so!!

[katerific]

Yeah, I'm not done submitting my apps, but I get that a lot. But I totally understand how the whole "oh you'll get in don't worry!" can be rather irritating. People don't realize how competitive this process is...!

In response to bhikhaari's question: I wish I had been less open about all my applications... or at least how strongly i feel about each school. I'm going to feel pretty embarrassed about not getting in places, but I'll really hate telling people that I didn't get into my top choices. (I mean, IF that happens, because I totally could get in... positive thinking, positive thinking!)

[adaptations]

I try to remember that family and friends who are asking these questions and offering their support really do mean the best. It is hard for them to have any sense of what the application process if like, what the chances of admission are, etc. The one question that annoys me is, "what is your top choice?" I am convinced everyone asks this because it is an easy conversation topic. In truth, most people don't want to learn all about the intricate details of the programs you're applying to, so a quick response of a recognizable name is generally enough to make them feel like they know what's happening and prevents you from having to explain that getting into any of the schools you applied to is a huge accomplishment.

[Zouzax]

I'm so happy I saw this post. I am very, very secretive about where I'm applying to, to my family & friends. My family puts a little of pressure on me to succeed in whatever I do, and if I told them where I'm applying, that'd be it. They would get in their minds the one school they want me to be accepted to, and if I'm not accepted the disappointment would be all over their faces (talk about pressure haha)

Also, I'm constantly asked if I know an answer yet. I dont know how many times I've said February/March. But I also try to reiterate that it's not a matter of WHEN it's a matter of IF.

[barilicious]

LOL! I love this thread. My grandmother, early on before I even submitted any applications, would say "wouldn't it be great if a school accepted you early and would let you then start in the spring." I would proceed to tell here it doesn't happen that way, but she would just say, well you never know. Now she keeps saying "wouldn't it be great if you heard from a school before Christmas." I proceed to tell her no faculty have probably even looked at my application yet, but she keeps saying, well you never know. She loves me dearly and wants the best for me, but she, among the rest of my family, have no clue about the process, acceptance rates, and so forth. It gets frustrating, I think, because its lonely, but yes, it is out of the goodness of their hearts.

[emmm]

No one's asked me if I got in yet -- I don't think they realize people are hearing this early. I have been telling people about my applications. The more I tell people, the easier it is and the more real it seems to me. I consider myself a long-shot to get in, so I don't think it will make me feel uncomfortable if I have to tell people I didn't get accepted anywhere.

[sputnik]

LOL Wow! I am happy I made that post! It's kinda nice to know others are feeling the way I do. adaptations, I think you nailed it when you said you respond in a way, "to make them feel like they know what's happening." I think that's what most people who care about us want. I am going to take that approach. It is lonely. They know me as someone who has always been successful. What they don't get is EVERYONE I'm applying with has (for the most part) always been successful. And I know that I am most certainly not the most qualified candidate. And it scares me. Plus, I'm notoriously bad at waiting. I basically just want to finish sending in my apps and just forget about all of it until I find out, one way or the other. I think that's why it's getting on my nerves that people I have told 3 and 4 times already that I won't know until March.And Zouzax, you make a great point that it's not when, it's IF. And we all know how respectively big our IF's are, but our families (or mine anyway) don't seem to get it.I guess it is nice to be a superstar in someone's mind! LOL I think if my mom had it her way, she'd have written an LOR. LOL Thanks everyone for sharing!

[anthropologygeek]

Wait until January then it gets even harder on you to answer these questions. Also, if you applied to the right places for you its when not if but just because you think they are right now doesn't mean its the right place.

[MoJingly]

And I know that I am most certainly not the most qualified candidate. And it scares me. Plus, I'm notoriously bad at waiting. I basically just want to finish sending in my apps and just forget about all of it until I find out, one way or the other. I think that's why it's getting on my nerves that people I have told 3 and 4 times already that I won't know until March.

Chances are that none of us are the most qualified candidate. I heard once that you can only improve yourself by surrounding yourself with people better than you. Is that true? Who knows. What I DO know is that surrounding myself with people better than me AFTER I have hit "submit" just makes me a nervous wreck.

I think I have actually managed to exhaust myself more than anybody else possibly could. First panicked thought in the morning: "wait, what's the date?! oh, it's still december. But that means I'm getting closer to finding out!"

Then again, I have surrounded myself with professors and current grad students who understand how stressful this time is. They don't ask when I will be hearing from my schools, and I am thankful for that.

[OR_Dan]

Yeah, I'm not done submitting my apps, but I get that a lot. But I totally understand how the whole "oh you'll get in don't worry!" can be rather irritating. People don't realize how competitive this process is...!

In response to bhikhaari's question: I wish I had been less open about all my applications... or at least how strongly i feel about each school. I'm going to feel pretty embarrassed about not getting in places, but I'll really hate telling people that I didn't get into my top choices. (I mean, IF that happens, because I totally could get in... positive thinking, positive thinking!)

I totally get you. I've been open about the process but the first thing people ask is what my top choice is. I always answer all seven shools I'm applying to are great, it would be an honor to get into just 1 of them, etc. etc. But I do have a mental ranking, but just thinking about telling people I didn't get into my tops makes me lie. But yeah positive thinking... positive thinking.... come on 7 acceptances, come on.....

[qbtacoma]

Ah, clueless grandmas. What would we do without them?

[neuropsych76]

I can relate to this topic as well. My parents don't really understand the graduate school application process. They think since I have a decent GPA I can just choose which program I want lol. As a side note, they want me to go somewhere close to home. But they don't get how hard it is to get in ANYWHERE let alone having the option to choose where.

Like others have mentioned, they keep asking even though I told them I won't know until late February or March.

[Vaporized]

"You should consider going to Harvard, I hear it has a great program."

...

[Zouzax]

I can relate to this topic as well. My parents don't really understand the graduate school application process. They think since I have a decent GPA I can just choose which program I want lol. As a side note, they want me to go somewhere close to home. But they don't get how hard it is to get in ANYWHERE let alone having the option to choose where.

Like others have mentioned, they keep asking even though I told them I won't know until late February or March.

haha SO true about that decent GPA -- my parents are CONVINCED that just because I did well in undergrad and know a few languages, thats going to lead to an automatic acceptance. Wouldnt that be wonderful, if it were true?

[Medievalmaniac]

The only people who know I have applied this go-around are you folks, my husband, and my immediate family. Everyone else thinks that since I didn't get in last year, I didn't apply again. I prefer it that way. No one but my husband knows WHERE I have applied this time around, because last time was so upsetting. My sister thinks I am ruining my family and my future by trying to get a PhD, and that if I wanted one I should have gotten it before I had kids. My mother doesn't understand why anyone would want a PhD and used my telling her as the chance to wax on all over again about how odd I am in comparison to the rest of the family. My husband wants everything to be about him and his new job right now. So, basically, I'm freaking out and stressed beyond belief as to whether or not I will be accepted this time around, and have no one to share my feelings and inadequacies with. And I am applying with a perfect 4.0 GPA at the master's level, multiple publications in my field, 13 years of state - licensed teaching experience students aged 10 through college, multiple conference papers, and a very decent GRE subject and GRE general verbal score, perfect AWA of 6, perfect teaching examination board scores...and was completely shut out last year despite all of that, because my undergraduate GPA from 1997 was low. I don't want to hear another thing about my applications until I hear back from the schools I have applied to - all of which have January 2 deadlines for applications, so NO, I won't hear about it until March at the earliest, and yes, I am so deeply and profoundly anxious about the whole thing I can't even see straight.

[gatorgirl]

I keep getting asked (from just about everyone I talk to), "Do you know where you are going yet?" No. I haven't heard a response from a single school out of the ten I applied to. Come on people. Give it some time. (Heck, I think to myself... geez, I just hope I get to go.)

[MegMill]

This is precisely the reason why I have told no one, not even my family. I annoy myself enough; I don't need anyone else annoying me.