Tired of people asking if I got in...in December

[Alyanumbers]

<br />I'm relatively lucky with parents--they don't pester me much.  But my dad thinks I walk on water, and even though my mom is a little more realistic, she can't totally hide that she thinks that if I tried, I might sink only up to my ankes.  They have each--individually--let slip multiple times references to &quot;When you go to ___&quot; and &quot;So when I visit you at ____&quot;.  Makes me sort of regret telling them my two favorite choices.

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This made me go 'D'awwww!'

[sputnik]

<br />slightly different perspective on this topic - as soon as you get an interview and/or admission offer, the tables will be turned and YOU will be itching to spread the news to your friends and families. i know some of us here try to be secretive until we hear interview and admission offers. so, the question is, how secretive you will (/can) be once you get the good news?<br />

<br /><br /><br />

IF I get in anywhere, I will shout it from the rooftops! And by rooftops, I mean Twitter and Facebook.

[sputnik]

<br />slightly different perspective on this topic - as soon as you get an interview and/or admission offer, the tables will be turned and YOU will be itching to spread the news to your friends and families. i know some of us here try to be secretive until we hear interview and admission offers. so, the question is, how secretive you will (/can) be once you get the good news?<br />

<br /><br /><br />

Since I am not applying to that many schools, I keep joking that I am going to make a video like the football players do, where I have a hat from each school on the table. I will dramatically grab the hat for the school I'm going to pick and put it on. Of course that will only work if I get into more than one school, but it'd be fun. LoL Thats how I am planning to share with people which school I'm going to pick.

[lab ratta-tat-tat]

Sputnik- Bahaahahha your post made me laugh.

You could also take the Lebron James approach and have a live televised (what I of course mean is Youtube) video where you are choosing between 2 schools.... and blah blahblah.... you know the rest.

That would be hilarious.

[sputnik]

Sputnik- Bahaahahha your post made me laugh.

You could also take the Lebron James approach and have a live televised (what I of course mean is Youtube) video where you are choosing between 2 schools.... and blah blahblah.... you know the rest.

That would be hilarious.

LOL Even better! It would go something like this....

-The answer to the question everyone wants to know. Sputnik, what's your decision?-

"Um, this fall, man this is very tough. Um and this fall I'm going to take my talents to....and I'm joining the University of...."

-That was the conclusion you woke up with this morning?

"That was the conclusion I woke up with this morning."

-Why?

"Um, Like I said before, um I feel like it's going to give me the best opportunity to Study. And to Study for multiple years. And not only just to Study in the regular semester or to win 5 grants in a row, or 3 grants in a row. I want to be able to win Fellowships. And I feel like I can compete down there."

-Was it always in your plan to study with Prof. X and Prof Y?

"You know, I'm looking forward to it. To say it was always in my plans? I can't say it was always in my plans 'cuz I never thought it was possible. But the things that the .... University has done to free up the funding to be able to put theyself in a position this summer to have all 3 of us, um, you know, it was hard to turn down. I mean, you know those are two great professors. Two of the greatest professors we have in the field today.And um, you know uh, you add me and we're going to be a really great team."

[NadaJ]

<br />LOL Even better! It would go something like this....<br /><br />-The answer to the question everyone wants to know. Sputnik, what's your decision?-<br />&quot;Um, this fall, man this is very tough. Um and this fall I'm going to take my talents to....and I'm joining the University of....&quot; <br />-That was the conclusion you woke up with this morning?<br />&quot;That was the conclusion I woke up with this morning.&quot;<br /><br />-Why?<br />&quot;Um, Like I said before, um I feel like it's going to give me the best opportunity to Study. And to Study for multiple years. And not only just to Study in the regular semester or to win 5 grants in a row, or 3 grants in a row. I want to be able to win Fellowships. And I feel like I can compete down there.&quot;<br />-Was it always in your plan to study with Prof. X and Prof Y?<br />&quot;You know, I'm looking forward to it. To say it was always in my plans? I can't say it was always in my plans 'cuz I never thought it was possible. But the things that the .... University has done to free up the funding to be able to put theyself in a position this summer to have all 3 of us, um, you know, it was hard to turn down. I mean, you know those are two great professors. Two of the greatest professors we have in the field today.And um, you know uh, you add me and we're going to be a really great team.&quot;<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

That was awesome! You just need a part about thanking G-d, your familiy, and your middle school homeroom teacher.

[Tiglath-Pileser III]

A colleague of mine is very private about his applications.

I'm also very private about my applications. I really only discuss it on GradCafe. I got quickly tired of the "professional student" cracks. My family really doesn't understand higher education and are not supportive of me--heck, they've marked all my mail "return to sender, no such person at address" since I left home fifteen years ago. I just found it easier to mail off my applications without fanfare. And if I get accepted, I quietly announce that I'm moving without giving a reason for it. The last time I "moved" it took two months before my sister even asked why I was moving. My parents know that I go to school, and they don't give a rip whether or not I'm successful. I don't have any compelling reason to tell them that I'm applying for doctoral programs until it is a fait accompli.

[lab ratta-tat-tat]

Heres a funny spoof of the Lebron James-The decision

Feel free to comment on how you plan to tell the world (or your friends) about your "decision". To be honest- just thinking up random scenarios is half of the fun, when I discuss them with my significant other we laugh really hard, it only temporarily makes me forget about checking the results page and freaking out

Enjoy.

[lab ratta-tat-tat]

Steve Carrel

Ok this one is even better

Just in case yo want a laugh. Sorry to post a crap ton of links but I just want to alleviate some stress, please feel free to post any links you think would be awesome!

[kotov]

Sputnik- Bahaahahha your post made me laugh.

You could also take the Lebron James approach and have a live televised (what I of course mean is Youtube) video where you are choosing between 2 schools.... and blah blahblah.... you know the rest.

That would be hilarious.

I already told my friends that I was doing that, lol.

[adstatus]

My LoR prof asked me if I had gotten in anywhere yet - the one who has been serially late with my LoRs! I laughed at him and he didn't understand what was funny.

LOL. Mine too. There were two this week I had to remind him about and in each email he responded to he asked if I'd heard from anyone yet. I just replied, "I wish."

I'm just going to try to keep myself busy for now and to try to NOT obsess, which is in my nature to do.

[adstatus]

I've been more or less quiet about the whole thing. I've told people I've applied and when they ask "Where?" I tell them. If they ask about a "top pick" I just tell them that if I get in at any that I applied to I'll be happy.

[UrbanWonk]

Misery loves company! I keep getting the "so where are you going next year?" So I always say something along the lines of "well, I have to get in first..." And then, you know, interview, compare aid offers, and then decide...

People don't seem to understand that applying to graduate school is just as lengthy and involved as applying to undergrad.

[Eli-]

The fictitious Penn!!

This is hilarious. Thank you.

Ha!

My mom is driving me up a wall. She didn't go to college, let alone grad school, but she thinks seeing me apply for and then attend a Masters program qualifies her to analyze my PhD prospects. She suspected me of making up Penn because she couldn't find "Penn" in her 2010 World Almanac and also keeps reminding me that "Philadelphia is a bad neighborhood" (yes, sic). She's convinced that I belong at Yale or Princeton because those are the only schools that she's heard of before...

[pippwu]

SO glad I found this thread, lol.

Two things:

1) Ditto to all those who also have relatives who believe every school in existence since the beginning of time would obviously accept them.

2) I also "enjoy" that look of assessment some people give me when I say I'm applying to NT programs. Often it feels like I'm being scanned by robocop /terminator or something, like people are evalutating if I should be able to get in or not. Then, of course, there's the ever lovely "Wow, that's a tough field" comment--to which I reply in my mind, "Really? Hadn't noticed that and continually obsessed/stressed about it."

Edited January 15, 2011 by pippwu

[kaz]

I so agree with this thread! People ask "What is your top choice?" , "Which schools have you applied?" (followed by a "wow") and "Have you heard from any of your applications yet?" even before I submitted my application. I will answer honestly but it is getting on my nerves. It's like for everyone else they're just saying that to make conversation, they don't really care anyway.

[jaxzwolf]

I decided to visit a few schools early this fall to meet with prospective advisers before applications were even available at some schools. When I got back from the trip (at the end of September, before I'd applied anywhere, of course) I had people asking me, "How was your trip? Did you get accepted anywhere?"

*headdesk*

[gradstudent84]

I think what annoys me more is the fact that some people are just SO SURE you'll get in somewhere. My parents put no pressure on me, and they are very supportive of my decisions, which is a blessing. At the same time though, whenever I talk about my anxieties and worries about this whole process my family tells me, I don't know what you're so worried about; you'll get in somewhere. You're applying to 10-12 schools; you'll get in.

Do I sound paranoid? Yes I'm applying to many, MANY schools (when the average number of schools to apply to is around 5 in our department) but seriously, I want to keep it as realistic as possible. It is a competitive field and I just want to make sure everything goes right.

Also, some of my classmates keep asking and asking. I can't avoid them, so because they keep asking I just respond, yes i applied. Yes im waiting for the results. So then they say, you'll get in. Don't worry, you'll get in.

It's not that easy.

I love the positive attitude and I appreciate their words of encouragement. However, these are the same people who will ask me in about three months if I got in anywhere, and I so do NOT want to tell them where I've gotten rejected. It's none of their business. And I know for a fact that I won't get in to all the places I've applied.

And one more thing...I have a classmate who keeps asking me about this whole process. She keeps asking me where I applied, etc. I want to tell her to stop talking about it; it's over and done with. Argh.

Edited January 15, 2011 by gradstudent84

[ZeChocMoose]

I love the positive attitude and I appreciate their words of encouragement. However, these are the same people who will ask me in about three months if I got in anywhere, and I so do NOT want to tell them where I've gotten rejected. It's none of their business. And I know for a fact that I won't get in to all the places I've applied.

You are right that it is none of their business. Some of them might not remember as I assume they will be busy with trying to find a job/graduation. You could always ask them how the job search is going

All in all, I don't think it's a big deal if you don't get in the first time around even though it seems like it is at the time. I know quite a few people who weren't successful the first time, but ended up applying again and had multiple offers. Don't lose hope!

And one more thing...I have a classmate who keeps asking me about this whole process. She keeps asking me where I applied, etc. I want to tell her to stop talking about it; it's over and done with. Argh.

She might just be curious. Perhaps she is thinking about applying to graduate school in the near future. I, on the other hand, love talking about graduate school so I have to remind myself that the majority of people I talk to are probably not that interested in the nitty gritty details. Of course one of my research interests is doctoral education so that is probably why

[gradstudent84]

She might just be curious. Perhaps she is thinking about applying to graduate school in the near future. I, on the other hand, love talking about graduate school so I have to remind myself that the majority of people I talk to are probably not that interested in the nitty gritty details. Of course one of my research interests is doctoral education so that is probably why

She's applying to grad schools same time as me, and everytime I see her on campus she expresses her anxiety over the possibility of not getting accepted. Her GPA is 3.85. Some programs are noted to first look at GPA over anything else,and everyone keeps telling her that she'll be okay. I try to change the subject, and she somehow doesn't get it, and simply keeps talking about other people's successes, failures, how people with 3.9 GPA have gotten waitlisted, etc. As someone whose GPA is not THAT high, it can be quite annoying to hear the same things over and over (and over..) again. So now, I try to avoid her. I need to calm down for the sake of my own insanity as well and being around highly anxious people isn't too helpful...

[ZeChocMoose]

She's applying to grad schools same time as me, and everytime I see her on campus she expresses her anxiety over the possibility of not getting accepted. Her GPA is 3.85. Some programs are noted to first look at GPA over anything else,and everyone keeps telling her that she'll be okay. I try to change the subject, and she somehow doesn't get it, and simply keeps talking about other people's successes, failures, how people with 3.9 GPA have gotten waitlisted, etc. As someone whose GPA is not THAT high, it can be quite annoying to hear the same things over and over (and over..) again. So now, I try to avoid her. I need to calm down for the sake of my own insanity as well and being around highly anxious people isn't too helpful...

Ah, yes. I can see how that would be annoying. Unfortunately, you have probably been labeled as the "grad school app buddy" who will listen to her rants about her doubts and fears about the process. As it is not helping your state of mind, I would just ignore her (as you have suggested and are doing) -or- if that doesn't work just tell her directly that you rather not talk about grad school apps anymore. Hopefully that will quell the storm.

[Zouzax]

one thing that's calmed my anxiety about letting my family down if I dont get accepted, is that I make it clear how normal it is for applicants to not be accepted their first round, that I'm ok with it, and that I'm formulating a plan B in case this happens. For those people from high-pressure families, making sure they understand this fact really takes the weight off your shoulders.

The funny thing is, my parents (let alone my relatives) didn't even know what a Ph.D was until I announced I was going to apply for such a program. It took months of explaining to make my parents realize that no, I was not going to work in a hospital ... no, I will not be able to fix their knees "finally", nor figure out what's wrong with them mentally "finally" ... that I'd be located at a UNIVERSITY ... and now suddenly they're really into my getting accepted.

[MoJingly]

slightly different perspective on this topic - as soon as you get an interview and/or admission offer, the tables will be turned and YOU will be itching to spread the news to your friends and families. i know some of us here try to be secretive until we hear interview and admission offers. so, the question is, how secretive you will (/can) be once you get the good news?

You know, I've thought a lot about this post ever since I read it. I've received interview invites, but still have been pretty secretive except with those close to me in the process. I feel like I want to save the celebration until I'm actually accepted at my top choice. It will make it seem sweeter.

[balderdash]

Geographically, I grew up closest to Boston. This has prompted my dad to remind me at least weekly that "it'd really be best if you went to Harvard."

Cheers. I had no idea, pops.

[augustquail]

I can completely sympathize with everyone who doesn't have and understanding family. My mom, who means well but is totally self-centered, is set on me going to Brown, because it's only a few hours away. Even though I want to go into Transatlantic studies, she's convinced I should study Native American literature, and that I should change my last name to hers (she kept her maiden name), so that she can see it on publications. YARGH.

A few years ago I was at a family reunion--I was a Junior--and my uncle asked me if I was done with my Ph.D. yet. What?! Then he launched into a discussion about how English is pointless and professors have the easiest job ever and that even reading fiction is a waste of time....yeah. Coming from a guy who only went to a community college. The more I understand how much professors have to do, the angrier it makes me when people act like professorships are the easiest jobs in the world.

I only talk about it with my girlfriend, my brother, and a friend at work. No one else is really interested, because they 'hate homework,' let alone talking about graduate programs. Sigh. Thank god for grad cafe....