sputnik Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Is this happening to anyone else? I feel more cranky than I did that week I tried to quit smoking. I can barely stand to be around me. I don't know how anyone else is tolerating it. And I still have months to go (in some cases) to find out. This is really pushing me to a place, mentally, I've never been before. I just want to know, either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gradstudent84 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Haha, I just recently posted on another thread about sort of going through this same thing. I tend to brood and overanalyze little details. But then I realize that whatever I did, I did to the best of my abilities and now it's out of my hands. So I try to keep busy. Like I go pamper myself, go window shopping, and I recently started up bikram yoga again and that has really helped me relax and just try to enjoy the time I have now that this whole cycle is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zouzax Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 so glad i saw this.... I'm definitely angrier. People on the street annoy me. Normal school deadlines give me chest pain. The sound of my email getting a new message makes my heart jump. When I pass my mailbox, I only look to see if there's new mail out of the corner of my eye as I run past (generally in my program, acceptances are sent by email, rejections by post). I have a constant neck ache. I'm more neurotic than usual. I seem to have developed a sort of compulsive behavior that causes me to click on "Grad Cafe Forum" at least 25 times a day. At this point, I'm just praying to the powers that be to send me some sort of application update soon, before I go completely off my rocker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrettyVacant Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I'm going through the same thing. I applied back in November, and my program deadline is Feb 1st, so they probably haven't even looked at my application. And yet, I'm constantly checking my email, logging into mystudent view, etc. to see if there is a decision yet. I can't help being so anxious. I just want to know already! Last time I applied, I was so sure I'd get in, I didn't stress about it at all. After I got rejected, everything came crashing down. It was a big wake up call: What if I'll never be good enough for grad school? This time around, I'm prettty confident, but I can't help but feeling a sense of impending doom. What if it happens again? I don't know if I'll be able to handle another rejection. Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count de Monet Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I hear you...I find myself getting irrationally irritated, especially when I'm asked about PhD programs.... the waiting is the hardest part... kotov 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gradstudent84 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I'm going through the same thing. I applied back in November, and my program deadline is Feb 1st, so they probably haven't even looked at my application. And yet, I'm constantly checking my email, logging into mystudent view, etc. to see if there is a decision yet. I can't help being so anxious. I just want to know already! Last time I applied, I was so sure I'd get in, I didn't stress about it at all. After I got rejected, everything came crashing down. It was a big wake up call: What if I'll never be good enough for grad school? This time around, I'm prettty confident, but I can't help but feeling a sense of impending doom. What if it happens again? I don't know if I'll be able to handle another rejection. Oh well. Just out of curiosity, why/how did you apply so early? Did you have everything totally ready at the earliest possible moment? And is your user name taken from the song title by the Sex Pistols? I immediately thought of them when I saw it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnceAndFutureGrad Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I completely understand the aggravation. I hope everyone finds a happy place either in their head or on some golden campus somewhere soon! On the one hand I'm aggravated that I stacked so much on this semester (department Latin and MA exam on top of my regular course and workload) but on the other hand it's keeping me very, very busy. Whereas last time around it was my final semester at college and I had a fairly breezy load, this time I'm hoping that I'll be too tied up with the small picture to worry about where I'll be this summer and fall. It also helps that I have gotten really serious about my diet and exercise, and just counting calories takes up a lot of brain space that could otherwise be filled with anxiety. I will take this time to repeat my entry in the 2009 Waiting It Out Haiku thread: Grad apps are stressful. Running relieves stress. I have Lost a whole pants size. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NadaJ Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I'm not more moody than usual, but I have a certain annoyance with my last semester of classes in my Masters program. I am so ready to move on! And between checking my email, phone, and Grad Cafe constantly, I have taken up eating pastries and ice cream. Lots of pastries and ice cream unfortunately..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ydg23 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 This thread has been therapeutic. I feel so much the same. Best of luck to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medievalmaniac Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 This thread has been therapeutic. I feel so much the same. Best of luck to everyone. Just joining in the feeling of solidarity concerning anxiety, moodiness, and general "pissed-offery". I find everyone and everything pretty much annoying as sh*t just now - except the people I'm working with in rehearsals (I'm in "Almost, Maine" this February for our local theatre troupe). I LOVE them. They have decided my moody and b*tchy attitude are awesome because they render me a method actress. (My charaters are by turn b*tchy, and neurotic, lol). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheOtherJake Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Probably best to distract oneself with even more imperious preoccupations, by such as, volunteering as an air traffic controller at a busy airport, or joining an underground mercenary Fight Club to the death, with no-holds-barred matches of barbed wire and mace weaponry prowess. Whatever works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zjwah Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Good to know it's not just me, too! Work distracts me, but I do have to deal with people on occasion (and that can be annoying, especially when they interrupt my daydreams of wonderful acceptance offers/inner grumblings about how I'm not going to get in ANYWHERE). I also tend to get antsy and anxious at work once I've realized it's been more than 30 mins since I last checked my email (I'm up and about and on my feet the whole time). I then have to stop what I'm doing, make a beeline to the break room for "some water," and check my phone for emails (thank God for my iphone). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UFGator Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I won't have any finger nails for months. Even years perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevi Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I usually stress out and whine a lot but it's been getting exponentially worse. It really doesn't help that my family is a 6 hour drive away and I don't have any friends where I live now. I tried to go shopping for interview clothes to relax and distract me, but ended up completely frustrated that I couldn't find anything that fit and/or seemed appropriate (and didn't cost a full paycheck to purchase). What's up with all the incredibly low-cut women's shirts?! Gah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OR_Dan Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I don't think I'm much moodier but I'm up to 3 packs of cigarettes per week. I had managed to cut down to a pack per week. If I don't get some replies soon I'm afraid i'll end up a pack a day guy (like my dad). Just for my health some program should take pity and accept me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 Sometimes you post a topic and get a reply or two, but this is, wow! I think for me, it's been very difficult to be distracted because we are STILL on winter break. We've been on break since the end of December. So, I'm running out of things to do, except worry about apps. Luckily we start classes soon, so that should give me something else to focus on. Thanks everyone for sharing. I feel a lot better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonkers Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 The anxiety made me lose my appetite for the sandwich I invented and tried to get others to order... Without a school... with the research project coming to an end... today I walked around the bookstore and watched an unemployed, kind of mangy lady consider the purchase of a Celtic mandala 2011 calendar. It was scary when I realized... she and I... we're not that different. Moxie42 and shepardn7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepardn7 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I don't think I'm much moodier but I'm up to 3 packs of cigarettes per week. I had managed to cut down to a pack per week. If I don't get some replies soon I'm afraid i'll end up a pack a day guy (like my dad). Just for my health some program should take pity and accept me This makes me glad I stopped smoking before deciding to apply (actually, only a few months before), because there's no way I could have quit while dealing with all this. I'm sure the stress would cause any smoker to smoke more than usual, and there have definitely been times during this application process when I've had a distinct craving. If any smokers here eventually want to quit for life, I would think the period between acceptance and matriculation (like, April through August) is the time to do so. Because the stress of the waiting period means the odds aren't in your favor, but the stress of the waiting period is nothing compared to the stress of being in the doctoral program itself. Five to eight years of constant stress will make quitting harder. That happy liminal period -- the one when you're coasting on your acceptances and thinking romantically about your new life -- would likely be the easiest time to deal with the withdrawal and everything. Just saying. kateow 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrettyVacant Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Just out of curiosity, why/how did you apply so early? Did you have everything totally ready at the earliest possible moment? And is your user name taken from the song title by the Sex Pistols? I immediately thought of them when I saw it. It is! I love the pistols. Well, I had everything ready, and I just wanted to get it out of the way! Last season, I left it until the very last minute, and I don't think it worked to my advantage. This season, I was also filling two applications at once (grad school and immigration). I just wanted to finish the grad school stuff, so I could concentrate on the immigration forms. Did I mention I wasn't working at the time? That probably played a big role in sending my application package so early. I just had so much time on my hands! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UFGator Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I do believe this will be the longest wait of my life. Seems like forever since I posted last...about 4 hours ago. I am definitely edgy. Ugh. OP should consider getting frustrations out at the gym? If anything, gyming helps you sleep better at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curca Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Every spare moment that I have is consumed with thinking about this. It sucks, but it makes me feel better that many of us feel the same way. It is stressful and irritating not to have control over such a huge thing in my life. Plus, I have put it all on the line dedicating years of education leading up to this one shot. I'm knocking on the door...somebody please be there to let me in!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neshmi Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I'm so glad to see that other people are going through the same! I've been waiting desperately for some insight into what is going on with my application. I only applied to one school due to the advice of several people in my field of interest who also are close to my POI. The POI actually reviewed my application before I submitted it too, but he has only ever been enigmatic about whether or not I will actually get in. I'm suffering. The funny thing is, I am fine if I don't get in. I have a great job, and working with a startup company could offer the promise of great financial rewards if I stick with them. On the flip side, I'd love the study track more. So... I'm sitting here running in circles about something I can't even decide yet!!! AAAGGGHHH!!!! I feel like I'm 5 in the back of the car asking... "Are we there yet?!" Curca 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zjwah Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) To add to my previous post for this thread....this just happened to me today: I went to get the mail. There was only one thing in the box: a nice, big, white envelope. Me: "Yes, I got in somewhere! Finally, some sort of notification. I wonder where?" *Grabs letter greedily and almost gets hit by a car as I try to cross the street* (my mailbox is across the road from my house, I know weird) *Stares down at envelope* *Blinks* "H& R Block..wha? What? This isn't an acceptance letter?! Damn it!" *Storms back into house and rips the tax organizer into shreds* Edited January 21, 2011 by zjwah Curca and MoJingly 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gradstudent84 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 people in my program piss me off, I totally, TOTALLY understand how you feel about this. I empathize with you 100%. I dread attending a couple of my classes only because I am so over the competitiveness, the attention seeking, and the brown nosing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gradstudent84 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) to the person above.... HOLY S**T! I never thought anyone else felt that way besides me. I am so over the competitiveness and the backstabbing in my program/workplace. I am PRAYING for an acceptance so I can just quit and not have to deal with the crap anymore. Good luck, I sooo hope you get in so you don't have to deal with the crap any more Thank you. Good luck to you too. Keep me updated on your progress, I am relieved and happy I've found someone I can commiserate with. What's even WORSE is that others pick up on the competitive vibe and totally treat you like dirt with no reason at all. I feel the antagonistic, passive-aggressive attitude towards me even though I have never done or said anything to make them feel this way. And I know this is true because a couple of people have expressed it towards me verbally. There's a lot of negative energy where I am. I can NOT wait until I get my first acceptance letter. Edited January 21, 2011 by gradstudent84 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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