First years - how are we doing?

[dat_nerd]

Pretty good... Joined a lab on the first day of classes and have been working in it double time 7 days per week since the start. Got my name on a paper 2 weeks in, and am now running with my research. Very cool lab, and classes are quite interesting, but I will need to change my habits and start taking 1 day off per week to do something else. So far I don't mind since the work is very exciting, but I'm sure the stress will creep up on me!

That's great to hear! I am so glad that your first semester is working out so well for you. I really want to know -- how are you balancing classwork with research? I'd like to put more time into research, but I find there's so much reading and writing to be done that it distracts from research time.

[zecone13]

That's great to hear! I am so glad that your first semester is working out so well for you. I really want to know -- how are you balancing classwork with research? I'd like to put more time into research, but I find there's so much reading and writing to be done that it distracts from research time.

Ahh, yeah. I suppose I am sort of lucky. I have two classes at the moment, and neither have tests/reading. Each one has a pretty involved homework due once every two weeks, and then a big project due at the end. So far, I have been taking a full day each week to do the homework and get back to the lab. The next homeworks look a little bit more lengthy though, so I bet balance will be shifted a little bit as this semester goes on. That was half the reason I joined the lab so early in the first place

[i.am.me]

I just started a study group for a difficult class. In general, I'm having a hard time balancing my finances lol

 

The classes are pretty difficult...and I'm having a little bit of trouble relating to others. :shrugs:

[TeaGirl]

I'm pretty happy with how things are going. I'm getting very busy with courses/TA/research but I'm enjoying it, yet still having time to do other fun stuff on the weekend. I try to get ahead with work whenever I have free time so I can go out later in the week. My advisor seems pretty great. I did go through the impostor syndrome about 2 weeks in. However, after getting some work done for my advisor and another professor, and receiving an "impressive" comment from both on it, I felt like I belonged

 

I was worried my introverted-ness might make it hard to make new friends, but I underestimated how much I've matured and grown confident socially in the 2 years I've worked as an instructor since my MS. I just ignored my fears and threw myself into introducing myself and speaking to people whenever possible and so far, it's going pretty swimmingly *knocks on wood*

[nohika]

I'm starting to get the hang of balancing everything and I really love how supportive my department is. I think I'm coming down with something for the second bloody time this semester, so that's not good, but it could be worse, I think. At least it's not pneumonia. Or it better not be.

 

Um. I'm good otherwise. Not sleeping enough half the nights, but I'm paying for the time I spent slacking off this week. Despite that, I'm happier than I've been in a while because I'm making time for things I love again. It's been awesome, in that way.

[i.am.me]

I don't think I am being coherent at all in my class with my advisor....DARN IT!! I hope I don't sound too...dumb. 

 

On the bright side, I've emerged to be quite a decent cook.

 

Oh yeah...my study group was a flop. It seems as though the other girls weren't as in to studying in groups (or studying at all) 

[rjbryan]

I haven't received any graded material yet. Uncertainty is my constant companion.

[ion_exchanger]

Studied super hard for a test that I thought would be killer. Put off 2nd test until 1st test was over. Did a great job on test 1, which wasn't as difficult as I had anticipated, bombed test two. -___-

[Lisa44201]

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me!....

 

Seriously. Two or three IRBs to file this month (primary researcher on all of them), none of which are my Thesis. Dammit. But hey, 19 page Table of Doom is done!!!!!

[callista]

I have 2 IRBs to do this month, too, and one of them has to be done by the 10th for part of a course grade.

 

I will be reading about Qualtrics and Mechanical Turk this weekend.

[1Q84]

I love my grad cohort... feel like I've known a few of them for many years

[dazedandbemused]

I love my grad cohort... feel like I've known a few of them for many years

Isn't it a great feeling? I don't know what I'd do without some of my cohort!

[mpheels]

So first term is almost over. Wow.

 

This is my first experience with 8 week quarters/terms instead of 15 week semesters, and the adjustment was easier than I expected. The classes move very quickly, but the assignments are all designed to keep us moving. For classes where the final is a written assignment, we've had to turn in drafts and sections almost every week. It's definitely easier to compile a several 15-20 page papers in one week when I've had to write 2-3 pages every week and have received feedback all along. The other great thing about terms is that the classes I don't like are over quickly! I have one class right now that I hate. The lead faculty member just rubs me wrong, and it's frustrating because it's a subject I usually love. But, it's over in two weeks, and I never have to take a class with him again.

[callista]

So first term is almost over. Wow.

 

 

Lucky you!!

[roselise]

Well, it's now officially been a week. Somehow I managed to get onto a symposium planning committee, already! I'm giving a paper at a conference next month and I'm putting forward a proposal for another conference in March (which I feel pretty confident about). Those are pretty much the only tangible things I have right now, because I did not do my BA or MA in this field and so I'm catching up massively on foundational texts which I've never read and are vital to the course. It does seem like I've got a lot going on already, but truthfully, I feel pretty lost and like I'm swimming in books. I think if I didn't have this conference paper to write, I'd be really daunted, because it's actually letting me read some of these base texts and focus that knowledge into words.

 

I'm also adjusting to being a tiny university in a tiny city, which is very new! I kind of like it, but it means that the library is limited (thank god my SO goes to Cambridge and can take out books for me from the University Library there) and it's hard for me to get some of the resources I need (like language classes - no introductory French or German here, eek). But I love the friendly community of the university and how easy it is to get around. All in all, I'm pretty happy. Maybe I'll check in after my second supervision, though, just in case that all changes after he tears apart my conference proposal!

[annieca]

I'm having major regret. I miss my "family" in Wales and I feel like while I chose my school for mostly the right reasons, one of the biggest was not thr right reason to decide on a grad school.

That being said, I love one of my programs. The second one... I hate a good portion of it. But it is what it is. I love my cohort and my program buddies from Years 2 and 3 and we have a little group. I love having my own desk on a floor that is grad-student-only.

I am super excited to be starting a new job tomorrow for the opportunities and the paychecks.

Still... I regret not choosing the UK everyday. To combat this, I've decided I'm doing my PhD in the UK and I'm going to become a British citizen at some point. Once I graduate in (gulp!) 2016 I only plan on visiting the US and not living here again.

[rockbender]

I hate to be a downer, but I'm actually having a really hard time adjusting to the program... I keep telling myself to "give it some time" but I started in June and things haven't improved all that much. My dept has some "Brilliant Scientists", but the teaching quality is incredibly poor! It's mostly old men rambling incoherently about whatever they feel like discussing. I feel like I am not getting much out of this semester at all. Maybe I just came in with too high expectations…?

 

My relationship with my advisor is awkward. He's a nice guy and everything, but I just don't know what he expects from me. I'm pretty sure that whenever we meet I just sound like a buffoon… My research (what little I get to do) is basically adding a few more data points to something that someone else has already done (and published). I have a hard time justifying the work to myself. What is the new insight that my data will actually add? It doesn't help that one of the "Brilliant Scientists", when told what I was working on, told me that he had solved that problem 20 years ago and I was wasting my time. My advisor will talk about a bunch of projects that I "could" do, but when it comes to making decisions or plans or anything, really, he just leaves me hanging. I've thought about maybe switching advisors, but from what I hear, the other options aren't much better...

 

Beyond that… there is a lab group and a focus group and a division etc, circles upon circles of people that theoretically I should be able to connect with and learn from … but I don't feel part of the community at all. Maybe part of the problem is that the first-years are sequestered in a separate (dilapidated) building from EVERYONE ELSE. Maybe it's an institutional thing, in which all the "Brilliant Scientists" don't want to waste time on the new people (one older grad student told me not to expect any attention from anyone until my master's defense, and he seemed to think it was a right/fair policy). And yes, admittedly part of the problem is that I am just not the most talkative/extroverted kind of person… but other students in my cohort have noticed the stand-offish-ness of the dept as well. The one saving grace is that my cohort is amazing. I'm really grateful that we have gotten to be good friends.

 

Well, sorry again to be so negative. It seems like people are generally enjoying their first years! But I am having a very different experience, and I thought I would reach out to see if there were other people out there who were feeling the same way...

[annieca]

HUGS! I will preface my advice by saying that I know absolutely nothing about geochemistry and my field(s) are about as far away as you can get from the sciences without being fine art. That being said...

 

When your advisor is talking about these projects that you "could" do, perhaps he wants you to take the initiative and join them yourselves? My experience with advisors is that although they talk in suggestions, they are usually actually talking in demands. For example, my advisor said "You should probably learn Romanian this summer." What he meant: "You will learn Romanian this summer." He said it nicely which helped but it's still... a demand.

 

As for expectations, I would have an honest sit-down with your advisor. Talk about what you enjoy researching. Talk about how you're not happy with the program. If he's a nice guy and like most academics, he'll want to see you succeed and help you get to where you need to be. 

 

I hope that helps! In the mean time, keep your head up! The first year is one of the hardest.

[ion_exchanger]

Is anyone having an interesting time getting used to exams? The exams I had in undergrad were a bit different, and I'm trying to adjust my study habits in order to do well on the exams. I'm concerned that I'm coming off as unintelligent. -__-

[pears]

Is anyone having an interesting time getting used to exams? The exams I had in undergrad were a bit different, and I'm trying to adjust my study habits in order to do well on the exams. I'm concerned that I'm coming off as unintelligent. -__-

 

Toootally in the same boat, except with papers. It's really hard to gauge how my classmates schedule their work, or what the quality of the work they're doing is. I always feel like I'm a slacker &/or underachiever compared to a lot of them. Go figure: I didn't start feeling serious "imposter syndrome" until 2/3 of the way into the semester...

[Arrowfletch]

I didn't start getting imposter symdrome until I actually got placed in a lab--now it's pretty full blown.  I haven't done a single thing yet.  At all.  Not even training past what I was initially shown...and that three weeks in.  I don't feel like I'm slacking--I'm working on class work and teaching all the freaking time and barely have time to sleep--but I'm getting really, really anxious about the fact that research just isn't happening.  I've been told it's fairly normal for this stage, but at the same time I am expected to have made pretty significant progress by next semester--enough to submit a detailed report that proves me dedicated and working above an undergraduate level.  Because my project seems kind of simple anyway, it's going to look really bad if I haven't just about completed it by then.

[ion_exchanger]

I study like I've never studied before. I read lecture notes, I read the book, I read online and I even read papers to study. I get the tests and I freak out. The first test I did pretty well, but the second... I read the questions and get immediately intimidated. An hour after the test, before I've looked up the answer, I think of all the ways I could have answered the question.

[callista]

I have all these papers and projects and presentations to do. Spent a good portion of the long weekend catching up on sleep.  So now I feel reasonably normal, but will be wrung out by Thursday.  Lather, rinse, repeat...

[ELM616]

So I'm having a somewhat different experience now that I'm a PhD student. But I already did a Masters. I know some people go straight from undergrad to PhD, but I did an MA in pure economics. Now I'm doing a PhD in natural resource economics. But its really not that different because the first year I take the same micro and metrics sequence as the pure economics students. The only difference is that instead of taking a year of macroecon, I take a year of natural resource econ which is basically an extension of microecon theory.

 

Anywhooo. When I was in my masters, my first year was grueling grueling. And the entire program itself was quite difficult. While there I was maybe one of the average students at best. Now I'm here in a PhD and I'm kinda breezing through it. Which scares the crap out of me, because last years cohort had half their class fail out after not passing their qualifying exams. So I'm scared that I'm not working hard enough and setting myself up for failure. 

 

But honestly I just don't have that overwhelmed feeling that I had in my Masters. Don't get me wrong it has been a very very busy semester but It hasn't been nearly the struggle that it was in my masters. And now I feel like I'm in the upper quantile of students. Maybe I paid my dues and took my lumps in my Masters and I deserve to have a somewhat easier time, but its just a little unnerving.

 

Anyone else feeling like this? Sometimes I wonder if I should've went to another program. The program I'm in wasn't the highest ranked, but they gave me a very generous Research Assistantship and I feel very happy here. I really like my department and my advisor, but once in a while in the back of my mind I wonder if I'm selling myself short and should have gone to the higher ranked program that didn't offer as much money....Cause maybe they would have higher placements and higher long run salary.

[TeaGirl]

Something something about hills and valleys.

 

I started off great, now I'm just starting to feel burnt out.

 

But honestly I just don't have that overwhelmed feeling that I had in my Masters. Don't get me wrong it has been a very very busy semester but It hasn't been nearly the struggle that it was in my masters.

 

I'm having the opposite experience. My Masters was a breeze. For my PhD, I felt on top of everything for the first 1-2 months of the semester, then it started snowballing. I feel like I'm constantly swimming against a tide of work with no end in site. At least not till after my quals in January. It's affecting my mood and it doesn't help that I bombed an exam, as in I think I was in the bottom couple of grades in class (my fault) because I prioritized a million other things I had that week (term project proposal, homework, TA review session+exam+extra office hours that I had to prepare for, research) over that second exam and didn't study properly for it. Added bonus, it's an area I'm not very strong in compared to most other classmates who seem to be experts. I think an A is still within the realm of possibility because I have near perfect scores on everything else in that course, just 100 times extra pressure and hard work on giving in a perfect term project.
 

I just feel like I'm working all the time to get things done, and when I'm not, I worry about things like internships, life after grad school and if this was all worth it, and WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!!

I realize I'm very lucky that I'm managing, that I like my advisor and research, that I'm getting an RA next semester so I don't have to deal with TA'ing, and while I don't love my courses, they're okay (except one. Yeah, that one I hate, haha). It's just that I'm so mentally exhausted I'm having a hard time staying positive.

 

Whew... it felt good to get all that off my chest. Back to the hamster wheel.

Edited November 26, 2013 by TeaGirl