Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[mandarin.orange]

what would he say on their FB page?

 

The Ragu (sorry, Ragú) FB poses rather inane questions daily, like "What's your CRAZIEST dinner story?" or "Fill in the blank: I'd like to spend less time in the kitchen and more time ____ this spring." Cousin would reply with spiels about being a parent of 7 and ridiculous stories, with deliberate misspellings...super funny, but perhaps only in the context of his personality.

[niffler]

I just need to vent and it looks like I came to the right place. I applied to a program with rolling admissions in mid November with a typical turnaround of 3-4 weeks. Week 4 comes around and I haven't even received my transcript evaluation sheet yet, so I call and they say they never received my application (I have an email confirmation), nor have they received my application packet with all of my transcripts, LORs, and admissions essay. Two weeks later, after several calls to admissions and my department, they discover that they accidentally created 2 files for me and both were incomplete because application materials were in one and my application was in the other. Well, now after 7 weeks we are finally moving forward and yesterday they emailed me my academic evaluation with the gpa they calculated for my last 60 units and a nice little note that they were forwarding my application to my department for a decision. This would be really exciting if they had put my correct last 60 gpa, which is a 3.96, instead of their typoed gpa of 3.06. I called and was told to email the advisor, which I did and I haven't heard back yet. I'm starting to have serious doubts about spending the next 2 years dealing with them.  

[GeoMex]

I just need to vent and it looks like I came to the right place. I applied to a program with rolling admissions in mid November with a typical turnaround of 3-4 weeks. Week 4 comes around and I haven't even received my transcript evaluation sheet yet, so I call and they say they never received my application (I have an email confirmation), nor have they received my application packet with all of my transcripts, LORs, and admissions essay. Two weeks later, after several calls to admissions and my department, they discover that they accidentally created 2 files for me and both were incomplete because application materials were in one and my application was in the other. Well, now after 7 weeks we are finally moving forward and yesterday they emailed me my academic evaluation with the gpa they calculated for my last 60 units and a nice little note that they were forwarding my application to my department for a decision. This would be really exciting if they had put my correct last 60 gpa, which is a 3.96, instead of their typoed gpa of 3.06. I called and was told to email the advisor, which I did and I haven't heard back yet. I'm starting to have serious doubts about spending the next 2 years dealing with them.  

 

Wow! that sounds like shit. 

I hope it turn out well and they are not this irresponsible all the time.

[SLPosteriorCricoarytenoid]

Since we're all complaining, let me express my annoyance with being required to send transcripts from universities where you've taken ONE MEASLY CLASS! I have three universities where I have taken one class from each. My wallet is in rough shape after sending a total of 5 transcripts to each place I'm applying. Man, taking courses in high school from different institutions has made my graduate application process a pain!

[1Q84]

I just need to vent and it looks like I came to the right place. I applied to a program with rolling admissions in mid November with a typical turnaround of 3-4 weeks. Week 4 comes around and I haven't even received my transcript evaluation sheet yet, so I call and they say they never received my application (I have an email confirmation), nor have they received my application packet with all of my transcripts, LORs, and admissions essay. Two weeks later, after several calls to admissions and my department, they discover that they accidentally created 2 files for me and both were incomplete because application materials were in one and my application was in the other. Well, now after 7 weeks we are finally moving forward and yesterday they emailed me my academic evaluation with the gpa they calculated for my last 60 units and a nice little note that they were forwarding my application to my department for a decision. This would be really exciting if they had put my correct last 60 gpa, which is a 3.96, instead of their typoed gpa of 3.06. I called and was told to email the advisor, which I did and I haven't heard back yet. I'm starting to have serious doubts about spending the next 2 years dealing with them.  

 

The bureaucratic incompetence of most schools is shocking to me. It's not like you all just opened your doors yesterday... you've had years to practice this kind of stuff! I went through something similar at my current school when they just couldn't figure out how to classify me (student, faculty or other since I'm a teaching fellow) so they just went ahead and gave me three identities. Boy, that was fun to sort out.

 

Similarly, every semester my stipend gets disbursed in weird and wonky amounts that make absolutely no sense. Every semester there's several thousand missing that I then have to spend weeks communicating with the Fin Aid office about. Then they press a button and it all magically appears in my account. What the hell!

[spectastic]

The Ragu (sorry, Ragú) FB poses rather inane questions daily, like "What's your CRAZIEST dinner story?" or "Fill in the blank: I'd like to spend less time in the kitchen and more time ____ this spring." Cousin would reply with spiels about being a parent of 7 and ridiculous stories, with deliberate misspellings...super funny, but perhaps only in the context of his personality.

this gives me the idea to troll the shit out of my old company's fb page, those bloodsucking, backstabbing, hypocritical bureaucrats who sell their souls to make Charles Koch the richest douchebag on the planet. but my better senses tell me otherwise 

[Katla]

I'm with neuronparty on the transcript woes! Nothing more frustrating than sending in your original transcripts and being informed they're incorrect because they didn't arrive in a university envelope, which was not written as a requirement anywhere (now have I ever had to do so before)!!! But I do so enjoy spending ridiculous amounts of money on buying another set of transcripts (seriously, my undergrad uni charges a ridiculous high sum) that I know will be the exact same as the ones I previously sent, even more so because I distinctly remember my rationale for sending them my own very original graduation transcripts were that they would be sent off sooner than if the Examinations Office had to process the order.

[grad_wannabe]

I just checked one of my application status pages ... where they have listed the WRONG gre registration number. 

 

I emailed the department coordinator five days ago. No response. I just sent a "contact us" email through the application portal itself. If I don't hear back by the morning I'm going to call the office. 

[dr. t]

My excellent results were actually due to an error in my code, and so instead of p = .15 (that's pretty good for the humanities), I get p = .32.

 

AND

 

The digital humanities project I run was invited to give a talk at a conference on human-computer interaction. We said we'd do it, and started work on the paper. I just went to register, and, since it's a science conference, it's $750 (a mere $450 for students) for registration. We aren't grant funded.

Edited January 13, 2015 by telkanuru

[mandarin.orange]

I just went to register, and, since it's a science conference, it's $750 (a mere $450 for students) for registration. We aren't grant funded.

 

This is straight-up highway robbery, unless a substantial portion of room/board is included?  

(I typically go to science conferences, and have NEVER paid that much for just the registration fee. $90-200 for really big annual meetings, $150-300 for specialty conferences.)

[dr. t]

Nope. http://2015.hci.international/

[shadowclaw]

Speaking of conferences, I was planning to submit an abstract to an upcoming conference. I kept putting off writing it, and it was due January 15. I ended up going to NYC to collect some data from AMNH and remembered on the way there that the abstract was due. When I got home tonight, I put together my abstract and went to submit... only to find that the submission page was closed and I still had half an hour until midnight. Either the page closed at some predetermined time during the day, or submissions we actually due before midnight on January 15 (instead of before midnight Jan 16 as I interpreted it). Sigh.

[jhefflol]

The best feeling in the world is making plans with someone early in the day for later that night and looking forward to the plans all day. You even get extra cute because you are too excited: you took extra time on your hair and did a little more with your make up. But when time rolls around for the other person to come pick you up, the person is late...a half hour...an hour...and they won't reply to any texts or calls. 

 

Its even better when that person is your boyfriend who, when finally answers your call, answers the question if he is coming home with, "Don't I come home every night?" Apparently he didn't have time to take ten seconds to call or text me during his 12 hour shift to tell me that he probably wouldn't be able to make it. 

 

Do not date a restaurant manager who is terrible at managing the other aspects of his life.

[ERR_Alpha]

The best feeling in the world is making plans with someone early in the day for later that night and looking forward to the plans all day. You even get extra cute because you are too excited: you took extra time on your hair and did a little more with your make up. But when time rolls around for the other person to come pick you up, the person is late...a half hour...an hour...and they won't reply to any texts or calls.

Its even better when that person is your boyfriend who, when finally answers your call, answers the question if he is coming home with, "Don't I come home every night?" Apparently he didn't have time to take ten seconds to call or text me during his 12 hour shift to tell me that he probably wouldn't be able to make it.

Do not date a restaurant manager who is terrible at managing the other aspects of his life.

Ah yes, my boyfriend frequently does not realize how our plans can get me through a rough lab day. I got really aggrevated because I had to work a Sunday and we had made dinner plans. As soon as I come home and ask where he wants to go, he keeps responding to my questions with more questions. (What do you feel like? No, what do YOU feel like?) I eventually got so frustrated we didn't go out at all.

Relationship problems...

[jujubea]

The vent that everyone is also steaming about ....

 

Why can't decisions come any earlier than Feb or March?!!

 

The elation I felt after submitting the last application was WAY too quickly subsumed by the eagerness of hearing back. 

 

This is my life dream! It hangs in the balance! 

[pianocognition]

I've decided not to talk about the PhD waiting game with anyone other than family, my best friend, and a few understanding professors. I'm the only person I know this year going for a PhD so venting to my friends is not helpful. It usually ends in them explaining why they decided not to get a PhD (none of those reasons apply to me) and me reassuring them that they made the right decision. I have also vented about wanting a boyfriend which leads to people suggesting I get married once I get a boyfriend instead of continuing with the PhD. A couple friends were shocked at my first rejection letter which led to all kinds of questions about my plan B. I can't deal with everyone's sympathetic meltdowns on top of my own freak outs! I was trying to reach out to friends so that I wouldn't be going through this process alone. Now, I think it is more peaceful to ponder it alone until I get some concrete answers. 

[ahlatsiawa]

http://imgur.com/8xoieoS Edited January 18, 2015 by ahlatsiawa

[Rose Tyler]

I've decided not to talk about the PhD waiting game with anyone other than family, my best friend, and a few understanding professors. I'm the only person I know this year going for a PhD so venting to my friends is not helpful. It usually ends in them explaining why they decided not to get a PhD (none of those reasons apply to me) and me reassuring them that they made the right decision. I have also vented about wanting a boyfriend which leads to people suggesting I get married once I get a boyfriend instead of continuing with the PhD. A couple friends were shocked at my first rejection letter which led to all kinds of questions about my plan B. I can't deal with everyone's sympathetic meltdowns on top of my own freak outs! I was trying to reach out to friends so that I wouldn't be going through this process alone. Now, I think it is more peaceful to ponder it alone until I get some concrete answers. 

 

I'm right there with you. Most of my friends aren't applying to grad school at all and one of them decided to wait a year. Every other conversation about grad school with her involves "I'm so glad I decided to wait" which isn't particularly helpful. My SO also decided not to apply to grad school, though she is applying to teach English overseas so she does at least understand the stress of waiting. I'm trying to stop venting to her because she doesn't really have much to say. Just basically "Okay" and "I'm sorry."

 

I told my mom about the presumed rejections. She just told me not to lose hope and reminded me that if all else fails I can stay at my undergrad institution (though the more that I think about it, the more I realize that would be a bad move). Venting just turns out to be more exhausting then it's worth.

[tulips]

That moment when a school you have been accepted to completely butchers the spelling of your name in an email... Makes you really feel wanted.

[Cosmojo]

1. I'm a great grad student, good grades good researcher and looks like I'm going to advance to candidacy quickly- but its NEVER enough. I'm not writing a paper fast enough, I'm not cultivating enough relationships with my other grad students, I'm not reading enough articles, I'm not showing up at enough non-required lunch seminars. K for real this makes me want to quit all the time, like right now my classes are easy and I'm about to get a paper published and I'm ready to walk away cause I still feel like a failure...

 

2. I have made my significant other be stuck in this city and this low pay situation for years which I don't think they hold against me but I still feel guilty about day after day cause they take so much over time so we can afford to live. I know that down the road my qualifications will make up for it and I will get into a good paying position but right now the stress is almost killing our relationship. We work all the time and it feels like combined we have nothing to show for it year after year. 

 

3. I feel guilty just saying these things cause "good PhD" students know how to deal with this crap and its just "part of the process"

 

*whimper*

[FinallyAccepted]

 

3. I feel guilty just saying these things cause "good PhD" students know how to deal with this crap and its just "part of the process"

 

*whimper*

...unless there's also a certain degree of denial involved in grad school that you're just not going to indulge in. It should be ok to acknowledge that things are difficult.

[Katla]

 

3. I feel guilty just saying these things cause "good PhD" students know how to deal with this crap and its just "part of the process"

 

*whimper*

 

I went through my Masters constantly feeling like a failure and worrying that my supervisor and the university regretted admitting me. It took me a while to realise that more than half of my classmates probably had similar insecurities and doubts -and we all made it out alive. It's okay to acknowledge the awful voices in your head, but don't let it fool you into thinking you're not good/accomplished/clever enough to be there!

[ERR_Alpha]

1. I'm a great grad student, good grades good researcher and looks like I'm going to advance to candidacy quickly- but its NEVER enough. I'm not writing a paper fast enough, I'm not cultivating enough relationships with my other grad students, I'm not reading enough articles, I'm not showing up at enough non-required lunch seminars. K for real this makes me want to quit all the time, like right now my classes are easy and I'm about to get a paper published and I'm ready to walk away cause I still feel like a failure...

2. I have made my significant other be stuck in this city and this low pay situation for years which I don't think they hold against me but I still feel guilty about day after day cause they take so much over time so we can afford to live. I know that down the road my qualifications will make up for it and I will get into a good paying position but right now the stress is almost killing our relationship. We work all the time and it feels like combined we have nothing to show for it year after year.

3. I feel guilty just saying these things cause "good PhD" students know how to deal with this crap and its just "part of the process"

*whimper*

We could be twins... The feeling of inadequacy is real in grad school. I just do as much as possible without sacrificing my mental health. I also don't compare myself to others. My boyfriend chose to follow me here to a college town with not a lot of options... I feel like he could resent me someday. They key to keeping relationships alive is just to communicate. If you're feeling overwhelmed or guilty, speak up. I made the mistake of letting my anxiety build and build.

[mandarin.orange]

1. I'm a great grad student, good grades good researcher and looks like I'm going to advance to candidacy quickly- but its NEVER enough. I'm not writing a paper fast enough, I'm not cultivating enough relationships with my other grad students, I'm not reading enough articles, I'm not showing up at enough non-required lunch seminars. 

 

I think this is universal -- academia has many ways, shapes, and forms in which it'll deliver this message to you on a daily basis. I mean is anyone ever 100% well-read in their field or even sub-field, in terms of literature review? I personally haven't found that white whale. I see a couple who act and talk like they do, but I know they're play-acting.

Most of the academics I see succeeding -- young professors successfully hired in our department (which is highly ranked), post-docs kicking butt and ready to move on to the next level -- are the most honest and upfront with their strong skill sets vs. knowledge gaps. I frequently hear from them, "I'm not a statistician" or "I don't do GIS" or "I didn't know that; it sounds interesting, so tell me more." 

One of the most profound pieces of advice I've gotten from my advisor is "you never get to that magic point where you know and do everything. You just stop giving a shit." So, I try my best to cultivate that.    

Edited January 19, 2015 by mandarin.orange

[LilithWntDwn2TN]

I am sick of my own inconstancy and inability to work at a regular rate. I'm an irredeemable binge-worker. I crank out massive output then spend weeks laying around on the couch. At my most apologetic, I say I'm letting the ideas "incubate" or "percolate." It's like I need someone watching me to get off my ass and get into gear.