Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[MidwesternAloha]

It's been 2 years and 20 applications. Two waitlists are all that stand between me and being shut out completely. If I hear one more person tell me "Don't worry, you'll make it off the wait list." I think I'm just going to kick them in the shin... or the balls. I'm trying to get a research assistant or lab manager position, but if that doesn't work out, there's basically no reason for me to reapply for year #3.

 

I really loved one of the programs. After I visited, I felt it was a perfect fit. My POI even had a similar background to me, and then I got waitlisted. I'm just so depressed and frustrated.

Being waitlisted friggin' sucks. Just got an email saying the same. It's like, oh hey, we like you, but we're gonna try to find someone better, and if we don't, we'll let you know.

[FinallyAccepted]

Being waitlisted friggin' sucks. Just got an email saying the same. It's like, oh hey, we like you, but we're gonna try to find someone better, and if we don't, we'll let you know.

 

If someone else decides that your new top choice is their bottom choice, you've got a shot. How exciting!

[smichelle]

I know that the lack of transparency in the admissions process is assumed, but in some interactions with profs, I felt almost lied-to. Currently, I'm a high school English teacher in my second year, and it is the hardest job I have ever had. The stress and the emotional toll of admissions on top of that in my job have been so difficult to juggle. Nonetheless, I started the process last spring, researching and establishing contacts at universities of interest. I took a quant course because I was afraid of appearing so humanities-centric. I also started a research project with my undergrad prof and I am truly enjoying the process as we inch toward publishing our findings. 

 

I applied to both education and sociology doctoral programs. During my conversations with poi's, I had so many tell me that my English background (partially funded BA and fully-funded MA at top-10 private schools) would not hinder my application. Only one had the honesty to say that it would be a "major" impediment. But now, I think that for sociology especially, being from the humanities was hugely detrimental as I have no gotten one out right acceptance from sociology programs. I know that I can't be sure that it was because of my background but I researched fit and my stats align with what they posted. 

 

I am super grateful to have gotten into a few wonderful programs, but still so annoyed at the schools I chose. If I had known all that I know now, I would have completely nixed the sociology apps and just applied to education schools. UGH 

[ss2player]

Luckily most of my friends can handle not talking about their kids for a little while. What really drives me up the wall though is Facebook. I don't look at it that much anymore, but when I do there are babies everywhere. One of my cousins is constantly putting videos up of her kids doing basically nothing. My one friend's husband enjoys photography, and he wants to start a business at some point. So he's been doing lots of free or cheap photos for people to build up a portfolio (engagement photos, cutesy baby photos with props, stuff like that). He's actually quite good, but he takes so many pictures of their kid and plasters them all over Facebook. Seriously, every week he does a photo shoot.

 

This is where the "unfollow" feature is the best thing EV4R. If only it worked in real life.

[katsharki3]

Currently work is being done on the road (or something near the road?) right outside my apartment. And when I say right outside my apartment, I literally mean that the road is probably like 15 feet from my window. I'm not exactly sure what's wrong; it does seem rather serious, as when I walked out of my apartment this morning there was water running down the street and piling up on to sidewalks. So probably something wrong with the sewers?

 

But anyway. The trucks and whatever machines they are using are REALLY loud and also flashing bright blue/red lights in through my window. I get that it is better do do all of this at night when no one is driving down the road (though this road isn't that busy anyway), but UGH. At the current moment it is just kind of an annoyance while I'm trying to write a paper/study, but if it's still going on in an hour and a half when I actually try to go to sleep, I'm going to be very very cranky. 

 

UPDATE: found the news story. Water main break, so yeah, pretty serious. (http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/28198557/water-main-break-closes-aala-street)

 

But it is almost 23:00, and I have to be up early tomorrow. And they are still making so much noise. Very cranky right now and going to be even more cranky and in need of copious amounts of caffeine tomorrow morning. 

Edited February 26, 2015 by katsharki3

[thepinkdragon76]

As if applying to grad school and waiting for a decision wasn't enough; my active duty Army husband was selected to go to the Naval Postgraduate School this summer through the Army ACS program and we are now waiting for his official acceptance, buying a house where we are locally , moving off post here and preparing for him to move to CA without us for 18 months this June. After we take a planned family trip to Disney. Oh and my dad just had a brain tumor removed, is in criminal litigation with his sister and mother over lies they told and my Aunt through marriage has bone and lung cancer. To top it off, my husband has to get ready for a promotion board and take the GRE at the end of March and study for it while we move. We are stressed to the max!

[MidwesternAloha]

As if applying to grad school and waiting for a decision wasn't enough; my active duty Army husband was selected to go to the Naval Postgraduate School this summer through the Army ACS program and we are now waiting for his official acceptance, buying a house where we are locally , moving off post here and preparing for him to move to CA without us for 18 months this June. After we take a planned family trip to Disney. Oh and my dad just had a brain tumor removed, is in criminal litigation with his sister and mother over lies they told and my Aunt through marriage has bone and lung cancer. To top it off, my husband has to get ready for a promotion board and take the GRE at the end of March and study for it while we move. We are stressed to the max!

[thepinkdragon76]

Very sorry to hear about the cancer, I'm a survivor myself, so your family will be in my thoughts. But that's awesome your husband is going to NPS! My husband will probably be stuck going to Leavenworth ugh

We are stationed at Leavenworth now as my husband is an FA49 at TRAC. He is getting first look for MAJ so we will see what happens with ILE if he is picked up. He is going to try to PCS back here since he won't even get to finish his initial ORSA assignment. Believe it or not we love it here!

[Mattie Roh]

Luckily most of my friends can handle not talking about their kids for a little while. What really drives me up the wall though is Facebook. I don't look at it that much anymore, but when I do there are babies everywhere. One of my cousins is constantly putting videos up of her kids doing basically nothing. My one friend's husband enjoys photography, and he wants to start a business at some point. So he's been doing lots of free or cheap photos for people to build up a portfolio (engagement photos, cutesy baby photos with props, stuff like that). He's actually quite good, but he takes so many pictures of their kid and plasters them all over Facebook. Seriously, every week he does a photo shoot.

 

I admit I've hidden friends on Facebook because they post way too many cutesy things about their kids. I also have friends who post a picture of their pug. EVERY DAY. Every day a new picture of the dog. Seriously, I'm about ready to scream. And I'm a HUGE dog lover.

[MidwesternAloha]

We are stationed at Leavenworth now as my husband is an FA49 at TRAC. He is getting first look for MAJ so we will see what happens with ILE if he is picked up. He is going to try to PCS back here since he won't even get to finish his initial ORSA assignment. Believe it or not we love it here!

 

Really?  That's good to hear!  Our favorite place (believe it or not) was Ft Leonard Wood!  Bought a house there.  My husband is probably 2 year groups behind yours, but these decisions are still on the horizon and I feel like I totally "get" your stress at the moment.  Not looking forward to the distance thing when he has to go to ILE while I'm in grad school.  Good luck to you guys!!!  Monterey is AMAZING, if you somehow wind up going with him there!

[Crucial BBQ]

I admit I've hidden friends on Facebook because they post way too many cutesy things about their kids. I also have friends who post a picture of their pug. EVERY DAY. Every day a new picture of the dog. Seriously, I'm about ready to scream. And I'm a HUGE dog lover.

Why hide them?  I just remove these "types" from my friends list all together.  

 

Life without Facebook is so much more enjoyable. 

[Marst]

I have got this one 'friend' who keeps posting pictures of herself and other people's kids. I suppose she is a nanny, but I think it's plain weird. Had she been a guy, she would have been reported a billion times already, but because she is a girl it must be cute or something?

[Cheshire_Cat]

Not only is getting clueless reviewers a problem, but the people we audit seem to give us the run around. Ask for documentation- it isn't correct.  How many times do I need to ask?  I am so tired of this one auditee I just want to scream.  I've spent way to many hours trying to figure out their crap and it still doesn't make sense. 

At least other auditees have documentation that makes sense, even if it is PDF instead of excel. 

And I've finally put the pieces of everything together so I understand it better and can figure things out myself.

[victorydance]

Kicking myself for not applying to Fulbright last fall...

Edited February 26, 2015 by victorydance

[FoggyAnhinga]

I'm pretty tired of nearly getting hit by a car everyday while walking in the crosswalk in front of my apartment. These a-hole drivers alway come around the corner going like 45 mph and get within about 5 feet of ending my life. It's not like I'm crossing against the signal or something... I wait until it is my turn to cross and yet I still end up nearly getting clobbered. Today I kind of got some revenge though, I almost got hit by a guy driving a red convertible BMW and the jerk had the nerve to honk at me as if to tell me to "hurry up and cross" So I threw my plastic coke bottle at the guy's windshield. Small victory, but it felt kind of good. End rant. 

Haha nice! I too hate drivers who get irritated w/ pedestrians who are trying to cross at a designated crosswalk. I mean, some of these drivers think having a car makes them the ruler of the roads! WTH? 

One time an expensive Acura almost hit me and I was very close to kicking the front end of that jerk's precious car, but I heard that these drivers love to sue anyone who damages their vehicle so I restrained myself, just yelled at him, and moved on.

[FacelessMage]

My dermatologist prescribed me a face cream that evidently is not supposed to be prescribed to someone with my particular medical condition, and now I've been thrown out of the year-long remission I've so carefully maintained into a flare. I am not impressed.  

Edited February 27, 2015 by FacelessMage

[FoggyAnhinga]

That happened to me yesterday except I was in a grocery store trying to leave.  This woman had her child walking beside her.  They were walking slower than most 95 year olds.  No big deal except I had about a thousand things to do and needed to get home to my sick boyfriend.  She kept looking back at me like I was doing something wrong.  I don't know why I don't just tell people to move when they're behaving like @sshats.  It was obvious I was in a hurry. 

I also got stuck behind her vehicle when leaving the parking lot.  She drove almost as slowly as she walked. 

Wow, that sounds like one of the most oblivious women I've heard of - most likely she'll be in constant denial if she is confronted about her faults, etc.

 

 

Yes, SO frustrating. Similar to this is when several people are walking the opposite way on the pavement, and when they approach you they make absolutely no effort to limit the amount of space they take up so that you can all walk past. This sometimes fully happens to the point where if **I** don't move out of the way, and fast, they would totally have shouldered me. In fact, I've tried being just as nonchalant as others, and this indeed did happen.

 

Thing is, I realized when walking with my best friend that SHE'S ONE OF THESE PEOPLE! When we walk together, I dart out of the way when I see someone coming, but she resolutely stays right in the middle of the path, as though the oncoming pedestrian is invisible. Several times I've asked her why why why why why why

From what I remember living in Asia several years ago, if a group of people make no effort to move out of the way, people just push you or brush past you roughly (can't expect too much politeness in Korea or China in those insanely busy metropolitan streets).

 

Haha so how did your friend explain herself when you asked her about that?

[VulpesZerda]

My family's health and mental health situations are so stressful and messed up. I don't know how I'm going to get through another degree dealing with this stuff and being this stressed and worried all the time.

[Amayan]

I really wish I could ask the programs I was rejected from why I was rejected.  Not in a whiny, egotistical way - but I genuinely want to know where I went wrong so that I can try to improve.  I submitted between 10-20 poems to each program.  Which was their favorite, least favorite?  Would it be consistent among people I asked?  Do I have one that just TANKS with everyone that I'm not aware of?  Do you hate sonnets? Tetrameter? Chiastic structure?  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

[juiceboxrampage]

I am absolutely clueless on many very important aspects of grad school. Folks on this forum are generally really helpful, but there seems to sometimes be a culture of "oh my god how do you not know this use the search feature I'm not going to answer this kiddie stuff you should have learned in high school." I've tried searching for this stuff so many times and I still cannot find any simple explanations, or the simple explanations I do find don't seem to apply to me. So I just go along with everything because I don't want to look like an idiot and I don't want to make people mad by asking a silly question. I can't tell if I am actually an idiot, or if everyone else is doing the same thing.

 

For example: I have NO idea what grants to apply to. Zero freaking clue. "The Bank" section is just filled with random acronyms and people talking in code and none of it makes sense to me. I went through a bunch of lists of grants that I apparently should be applying to (listed on grad schools' websites and different topics on here), but I didn't feel like I met the criteria for any of them. Almost all of the grants I found when I was looking were for PhD students already advanced to candidacy. The few I found for first year students required very, very detailed research proposals, but I'm still not sure exactly what I want to do yet, and I was under the impression that grad students don't start doing research until year two or three. I'm so confused about how everyone else knows where to apply and what they applied for and how they applied!

 

It's overwhelming and frustrating. And I'm sure someone will now direct me to a super obvious post that I should have been able to find on my own already. Boo.

Edited February 27, 2015 by juiceboxrampage

[Cheshire_Cat]

Its ok. I know how you feel sometimes. Except I do that with my job, which is worse. There is just a lot of information to take in. I've been lucky here. I have a friend who is in a ph.d program and I've messaged him so much on different aspects I was struggling with.

[MidwesternAloha]

I am absolutely clueless on many very important aspects of grad school. Folks on this forum are generally really helpful, but there seems to sometimes be a culture of "oh my god how do you not know this use the search feature I'm not going to answer this kiddie stuff you should have learned in high school." I've tried searching for this stuff so many times and I still cannot find any simple explanations, or the simple explanations I do find don't seem to apply to me. So I just go along with everything because I don't want to look like an idiot and I don't want to make people mad by asking a silly question. I can't tell if I am actually an idiot, or if everyone else is doing the same thing.

 

For example: I have NO idea what grants to apply to. Zero freaking clue. "The Bank" section is just filled with random acronyms and people talking in code and none of it makes sense to me. I went through a bunch of lists of grants that I apparently should be applying to (listed on grad schools' websites and different topics on here), but I didn't feel like I met the criteria for any of them. Almost all of the grants I found when I was looking were for PhD students already advanced to candidacy. The few I found for first year students required very, very detailed research proposals, but I'm still not sure exactly what I want to do yet, and I was under the impression that grad students don't start doing research until year two or three. I'm so confused about how everyone else knows where to apply and what they applied for and how they applied!

 

It's overwhelming and frustrating. And I'm sure someone will now direct me to a super obvious post that I should have been able to find on my own already. Boo.

 

I don't have an answer to this, but I would assume your advisor/mentor could give you direction for this process?

[Mr. Impatiently Waiting]

Two things, both Netflix related:

1. What the hell takes Netflix so long to add the most recent season of a show? It's been like 2 years since the season ended. 

 

2. Alright so I'm watching a show that ended like 20 years ago, why did they only add the first 5 seasons of the show and not all 11 seasons? 

 

I'm trying binge out on Netflix to pass the time and these damn people won't let me finish an entire series. 

[thepinkdragon76]

My family's health and mental health situations are so stressful and messed up. I don't know how I'm going to get through another degree dealing with this stuff and being this stressed and worried all the time.

I completely understand. Sometimes one of the saving grace perks for me of being in a military family is not having other family issues constantly staring me in the face anymore. I recieved my BA a year late for undergrad because of incompletes I had to take in my senior year to handle the health and mental health issues surrounding my parents.

[thepinkdragon76]

I'm so sick of babies. They're ugly, disgusting little creatures and while I want children, the idea of carrying a child, giving birth, and then being responsible for a helpless being freaks me out. I'm at the age where a lot of people I know have started families, and quite frankly it annoys me that I can't see any of these people without their children in tow. Further more, some old friends live far away and only visit the area two or three times each year. I don't understand why the husbands get to go to the bar with old buddies, go golfing with their dads, and otherwise do any child-free activity they want while the wives never get a break from the kids. Blah. Maybe when I finally do have kids, my brain will rewire itself and I'll develop all of these maternal instincts and think babies are beautiful. Until then, I will politely tell you all that your baby is cute, but really I will be thinking that it looks like an alien.

I felt exactly the same way until I met my husband. Before that I never even wanted kids, ever. Then at age 28 I suddenly felt my biological clock kick in to overdrive. When we got married and started actively trying to have a baby, my maternal instincts kicked in. I had our son at 31 and turned 32 two months later. He will be 7 next month and I am already over the incessant questioning kid phase and would rather have him be a baby again. Lol!