Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[kbui]

10 hours ago, RCtheSS said:

Yeah, graduation school applications are my main source of stress right about now. Applying to six dual degree programs means double the essays and double the hours of sleep lost from now until December.

Really? That sounds crazy! That's also double the amount of anxiety. What are you looking to do in the future? And do most people who are doing it now need the two degrees?

[RCtheSS]

12 hours ago, kbui said:

Really? that sounds crazy! That's also double the amount of anxiety. What are you looking to do in the future? And do most people who are doing it now need the two degrees?

I'd like to work in policy analysis evaluating social safety net programs and their effectiveness in alleviating poverty and promoting self-sufficiency for low-income families.

Honestly, I could do this work with either the MPP or the MSW degree, but I figured:

[haltheincandescent]

Waiting for decisions from programs I've already applied to, waiting for feedback on writing samples for programs I haven't submitted the apps for yet.

Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. (& it should not be taking 2+ weeks for the latter........) Ughhhh.

Completely removes any ability for me even to vent articulately, apparently. Just pure anxiety coupled with a desire to only sleep until responses/feedback surface.

[kbui]

On September 25, 2015 at 12:06:32 PM, EdNeuroGrl said:

Anxiety!!!!!

My vent is all about the anxiety.

I've been through this process twice before, and then had to take a 2 year break from academia to be sure this is what I wanted to do (and b/c I didn't know how to get an RA position in a relevant field *facepalm*). To be honest I didn't even know they existed 2 years ago. This whole thing has been me figuring out what the heck I should be doing because I seem to have trouble finding people who can help me figure it out. I have had mentors of a sort but they are always just far enough removed from what I want to be doing that their advice has turned out to be not helpful at all (and sometimes completely wrong). 

 

Only in the past 5 months have I found people willing to talk to me about what I want to do and how I want to do it. Certainly no one who knows me well enough to write me letters or critique my application, but... on the bright side am SOOOO much better off than the first 2 times around, but I am simply terrified that I STILL won't get a chance.

 

I just don't have the money to blow on all of these applications for another year. My cards have been maxed out from the past application seasons and I'm over my head in student debt and frankly my department has no money to spend on master's students. IF I get interviews, they will be literally my last dimes spent on this. 

 

And, ultimately, I am still just kinda fumbling around in the dark. I would kill for a mentor who understood the field and could show me the ropes, but to get one of those I need to be accepted into a PhD program... Uck another catch 22 ya know?

I'm so sorry to hear about that. I know how student debt can really be a burden, especially when you're trying to get new opportunities. And also about the credit cards and applications to graduate school--I totally get you. I was there (I am there, actually), and it's such a gamble. But we just have to believe in ourselves because in one year, we will be studying something that we love and we will wonder why we even worried about it in the first place. Though of course we'll have new worries: extra student debt from graduate school, where to live, our courses and projects, post-graduation life.

There are never a lack of things to have stress over, so maybe save some anxiety for later too! :P

[vonham]

This will be another vent about grad school application anxiety. I'm applying to linguistics PhD programs, with a focus on sociolinguistics, language contact, multilingualism. 

It is November 8th. My first deadline is December 1st, for one of my top choice schools. I feel like I'm so behind. From the start I am not the best applicant: my GPA is OK (87/100 because we don't do 4.0, but I calculated it and it's like 3.53). My GRE is not so good (Q: 149, V: 162, AWA: 5.5). I can't retake it. This is the best I can do in math. I'm doing a 3 year BA in linguistics in Tel-Aviv university, currently on my last year. I'm applying to PhD programs in the states (I'm an American citizen so at least I have that going for me). 

My thoughts where that if I have a kick ass writing sample and a kick ass SOP, I have a good chance of getting into at least one program. For my seminar class I wrote a paper that I wanted to be my writing sample because it is research that interests me. I asked my prof, who is a post-grad and the only person in the country who is doing sociolinguistics pretty much, to review the paper in terms of how good it would be as a writing sample. He sat on adcomms before, and graduated from one of the programs I want to apply to. He gave me very negative feedback. Very constructive, but very negative. Very. He questioned if I'm even ready to apply now and what's the harm in just doing an MA in the meantime. This just crippled me. I mean he basically told me exactly what to do to make it better, and I'm working on it, but my confidence is totally shot. Like if I can't make this writing sample, then wtf am I even doing? This is a topic that I love, and want to continue with!

And in the meantime I still don't have a 1st draft of my SOP. I am so screwed, but every time I sit down to write it, I question everything. Not my passion, not whether or not I should pursue a PhD: I know I should, and I know I would succeed. I question whether I'll get in. After received criticism on most things I wrote on that paper, now I'm  questioning the wording of everything I write on this SOP. It doesn't help that many of the subjects I'm interested in weren't even taught until this year. But of course I need to get a first draft out ASAP to send to my recommenders, so that they can write their LORs, because time is ticking. But of course this prof says that unless I give him a better paper....well it will negatively effect his recommendation. Although he's just a post-grad his recommendation is important because my other recommenders, while very well known and very senior, research other areas of linguistics. 

Also I'm taking like a million classes (oh and also working two jobs) so finding time to sit down and actually re-write this paper, and write my SOP is very limited. And the clock is ticking. 

 

[hippyscientist]

Warning: My post is a bit ick but I have to vent!

AGHHH so the doc has said I need to be tested for celiac, for the test here you have to load up on gluten, eating it for every meal. So far I've vomited in yoga, had blood while going #2 and have bloated so much that people have started asking when I'm due. On top of that I'm taking very strong medication for my shoulder, and I feel so out of it right now. Of course this week I have exams and coursework deadlines and meetings galore. I just want to go home and curl up in my toilet. 

[shadowclaw]

Feeling grumpy about getting a paper published. It's from my masters work. One of my committee members suggested that we try Peerage of Science, which is supposed to streamline the review process and help eliminate crappy, unhelpful reviews. It was a complete failure, so after wasting about a month and half with that, we switched to the traditional route. However, our top target journals have rejected the paper without review on account that the subject matter doesn't have international appeal/fieldwork was done in too regional of an area. Which would be fine, but they have all been publishing similar types of papers (with different species) with work done in small geographic areas, and honestly my fieldwork spanned a larger area than several studies I've seen published by these journals. Another of my committee members said he thinks that many of the conservation journals are shying away from U.S. papers and that might be the real problem. Grrr.

[kbui]

@vonham That sounds intense! Sounds like you're really working towards what you want (through talking to your advisors and in your courses), so I'm confident that you will continue to try if this year is not successful. You're still young! (I assume because you haven't gone for an MA yet and you're still taking courses.)

Just know that life will go on no matter what happens, and that there's always next year.

Good luck! Tell us how things turn out.

[random_grad]

On 11/10/2015, 12:41:37, shadowclaw said:

many of the conservation journals are shying away from U.S. papers

I'm very curious as to: why?

[shadowclaw]

5 hours ago, random_grad said:

I'm very curious as to: why?

I didn't ask for an explanation, but I assume it's because conservation journals are trying to make themselves more "international" and inclusive of the global scientific community, and so want more papers from developing and other underrepresented countries. I've also noticed that for journals with page charges, a lot of them are offering discounts and waivers specifically to researchers from developing countries, which is good and all since they might not have access to same level of funding as developed countries. In the end, though, rejecting papers from some countries because you've met your quota isn't a good practice.

[random_grad]

1 hour ago, shadowclaw said:

In the end, though, rejecting papers from some countries because you've met your quota isn't a good practice.

yeah, it does seem like a rather odd practice. Hope you get your paper in soon!!

[shadowclaw]

On 11/12/2015 4:46:53, random_grad said:

yeah, it does seem like a rather odd practice. Hope you get your paper in soon!!

Thanks! We've sent it to another journal and haven't heard anything from the editor yet, so hopefully that's a good sign! 

I'm taking a very dry multivariate statistics course right now. What we go over in lecture is almost entirely theory I guess you'd say, and a few examples of how we might use various tests. Theory is probably the wrong word, but essentially the professor talks about the nuts and bolts of how the tests work, and spend almost no time showing us how to set up these tests in R. She posts some R notes online to help us with our assignments, but it takes hours and hours for everyone to do these assignments because we have to Google how to do a lot of things in R. I guess I should have believed her when she told us we would be doing a lot of Web searching. To make things more annoying, the TA takes forever to grade anything. Which is a pain, because assignments tend to build off of each other, so if you screw it up on one assignment, you'll probably screw it up on the next because we get no feedback in time. Luckily I've been doing very well on assignments, but all the same, I'd like feedback sooner!

[hippyscientist]

2 hours ago, shadowclaw said:

Thanks! We've sent it to another journal and haven't heard anything from the editor yet, so hopefully that's a good sign! 

I'm taking a very dry multivariate statistics course right now. What we go over in lecture is almost entirely theory I guess you'd say, and a few examples of how we might use various tests. Theory is probably the wrong word, but essentially the professor talks about the nuts and bolts of how the tests work, and spend almost no time showing us how to set up these tests in R. She posts some R notes online to help us with our assignments, but it takes hours and hours for everyone to do these assignments because we have to Google how to do a lot of things in R. I guess I should have believed her when she told us we would be doing a lot of Web searching. To make things more annoying, the TA takes forever to grade anything. Which is a pain, because assignments tend to build off of each other, so if you screw it up on one assignment, you'll probably screw it up on the next because we get no feedback in time. Luckily I've been doing very well on assignments, but all the same, I'd like feedback sooner!

Ouch I feel your pain. R can be tricky to wrap your head around (I had to teach it to myself in order to complete my undergraduate project). Do you have someone like a course rep who can feedback to the university on your behalf? If not, would you feel comfortable talking to the course leader and asking for feedback sooner, citing the concerns you've listed here? I'm programme rep for my masters, and am in meetings with course leaders every week feeding back thoughts, worries, constructive comments as well as praise, and we've found a lot of changes happening for the better because of that. 

[mockturtle]

I only have two applications in the works right now... which was not the plan. 

To be fair, it's about 30% personal choice (they're MS applications, and I'm comfortable with casting a net now and also looking for post-bacc jobs in the spring), and 20% circumstance (the pool being narrowed by prospective PIs retiring, lack of funding, etc). But that remaining 50% was me just dropping the ball, with applications taking a backseat during what in retrospect was a sort of mini-burnout.  

The inevitable "where else are you applying?" question is weighing heavily on my mind. I just really hope this doesn't speak ill of me.

[shadowclaw]

On 11/15/2015 12:04:32, piglet33 said:

Ouch I feel your pain. R can be tricky to wrap your head around (I had to teach it to myself in order to complete my undergraduate project). Do you have someone like a course rep who can feedback to the university on your behalf? If not, would you feel comfortable talking to the course leader and asking for feedback sooner, citing the concerns you've listed here? I'm programme rep for my masters, and am in meetings with course leaders every week feeding back thoughts, worries, constructive comments as well as praise, and we've found a lot of changes happening for the better because of that. 

Well, it's too late in the quarter for it to really matter. I think we only have one more assignment (maybe 2) and then our final project. We also took our midterm two weeks ago, and an assignment from the week before it still isn't graded but the midterm is.

[TheMonkeyOnMyBack]

I have a venting issue that I would also love any advice on. I selected one set of scores on the GRE to be sent to schools ( I am sure I did as they are much better than the other set) and the GRE seems to have sent the other set of scores not the ones that i requested. UGGHHHHHHH i will try again but now the schools have the other scores which I am not pleased about . 

[Eigen]

My vent: I really wish search committees/HR departments would stop trying to come up with new, inventive ways to name the documents they want. 

"Statement of Research Plans" is standard. I know what you want when you ask for that. "Discussion of Research Philosophy that Addresses Plans for Undergraduate Researchers"...... Now I can think of a dozen different documents that you might want, all of which are varying lengths. 

[fuzzylogician]

5 hours ago, Eigen said:

My vent: I really wish search committees/HR departments would stop trying to come up with new, inventive ways to name the documents they want. 

"Statement of Research Plans" is standard. I know what you want when you ask for that. "Discussion of Research Philosophy that Addresses Plans for Undergraduate Researchers"...... Now I can think of a dozen different documents that you might want, all of which are varying lengths. 

I think that one is relatively straightforward: talk about how you'd involve undergraduates in your own research, and how you'd help them develop their own independent research interests and projects. Also discuss how working with/being involved in research directed by you would prepare them both for pursuing more education in your field and a job in industry, if they so choose. (In addition to talking about your research as you'd do in a standard research statement.) 

 

But can we talk about how each school has its own application system, and they ALL suck? 

[shadowclaw]

Time for a financial vent...

My husband has been having the worst time ever getting a job. I've vented before about his laziness in this area, but now that he's stepped it up, it just isn't working out. He was offered two jobs back in October, one with higher pay but started in a couple weeks instead of immediately. He ended up accepting the offer for the higher paying one, but when it came time for him to start, the job told him he failed his background check. He got an interview someplace else, and they said they'd call him to discuss the details after running his background check. A week later, they told him no. He eventually went to a temp agency and got hired, worked for a week, and today they called him and told him not to bother going in to work because his background check didn't pan out.

I don't understand what the problem is. He has a charge for possession of marijuana paraphernalia back in our home state from a few years ago. Back home, pretty much no warehouse or production job does a background check, and if they do, they only care about felonies. In this state, it seems that every job besides minimum wage fast food jobs do background checks, and they won't hire you if you have a drug misdemeanor. Even though marijuana is legal here and the state is planning to expunge marijuana charges from people's records! The worst part about it is why he has the drug charge. Yeah, he did smoke back then, but the pipe they found wasn't even his and he didn't know it was in his trunk, which is why he told the police officer that he was welcome to look in his trunk when he got pulled over.

We literally have $12 in our bank account right now, although there is some money on the way. We've been selling things we don't need on eBay to feed us and pay some bills, because the savings are gone and we have no jobs. I took a shitty funding deal at this school hoping that 1) I could secure a TA position for next year or my advisor's grant applications would pan out, and 2) we could rely on my husband's income and our savings to get us through until next year. Getting funding for next year looks like it won't be a problem, but right now we are broke. We didn't plan on there being so many roadblocks to getting a job.

This school was my only acceptance, and the only funding I got was a tuition scholarship. I was on the waitlist for a TA position, and I hadn't planned on coming if I didn't get one. But the program director kept telling me that TA positions weren't finalized yet, and it was getting to the point where if I didn't find an apartment and get things in order, I wouldn't be able to come. I should have said the hell with it, got a job, and applied to places again this application cycle. Instead I decided to take a risk, and it didn't work out. While I love my program, coursework, and advisor, being so broke is really weighing down on me. I guess I'll just have to go get a job myself, even though I know it's not going to be good for me academically.

[Eigen]

2 hours ago, fuzzylogician said:

I think that one is relatively straightforward: talk about how you'd involve undergraduates in your own research, and how you'd help them develop their own independent research interests and projects. Also discuss how working with/being involved in research directed by you would prepare them both for pursuing more education in your field and a job in industry, if they so choose. (In addition to talking about your research as you'd do in a standard research statement.) 

 

But can we talk about how each school has its own application system, and they ALL suck? 

I'm probably just overthinking the use of philosophy. In my field, research statements are third person, passive. Proposals like you'd write for a grant, usually 12-15 pages. 

What I have is probably fine, I just hate the off the wall phrasing relative to any other add, since it makes me think they want something drastically different. 

[FacelessMage]

My boyfriend dumped me over text message last night after we spent the weekend together. I feel very used and betrayed right now, especially after told me he was planning on doing this for 4 weeks. And of course, I had to meet his parents last week ugh.

I can't deal with this on top of applications. 

[StrongTackleBacarySagna]

1 hour ago, FacelessMage said:

My boyfriend dumped me over text message last night after we spent the weekend together. I feel very used and betrayed right now, especially after told me he was planning on doing this for 4 weeks. And of course, I had to meet his parents last week ugh.

I can't deal with this on top of applications. 

Girl/Boy, you don't need a bitch who doesn't have no balls on him to get into schools. You're a proud five star Yu Gi Oh card that don't need no man

[Cheshire_Cat]

Tmi, but it is that time of the month and I am in a wedding.   I'm cramping and I have stuff to do.  No fun.   

Also I have a term paper is want to finish this weekend. And stupid autocorrect. 

Edited November 20, 2015 by Cheshire_Cat
Stupid autocorrect.

[gingin6789]

Surgery in exactly two weeks... it'll take about a week to recover.

Academic Pros: The only thing I have left to complete this semester, as a student, is a paper that is mostly done already.  The deadline for this paper is December 11th, but I should be able to complete it before my surgery.  Thesis timeline is flexible, too.

Academic Cons: My students have their final paper due the day of my surgery!  37 papers, 6 to 8 pages, and I know I won't be able to start grading them right away. Luckily, grades aren't due until the 18th. Also, students in the *other* class I TA for have their exam on December 11th ... I know they'll want to meet with me a week or so before the exam, but I'll be in surgery/recovery during that time. I feel bad because that means they'll have to go to the prof, who is already swamped beyond belief!

So, we'll see how this goes. I'm nervous, but happy about the potential results of the surgery.

[haltheincandescent]

ugh Michigan. you're the only one that wants a paper transcript mailed. you're the only one that limits my SoP to 2 double-spaced pages. You're the only one that requires a separate personal statement. yours is the only app of mine that's not 99% done.

And now, 4 hours after I pick up my transcript, signed and sealed with your special cover sheet included with all my personal info with the exception of the UMID that I don't have yet, you send me my UMID. 

So difficult. Why, why so difficult.

If only your program wasn't wonderfully suited to my interests...........

Edited November 21, 2015 by haltheincandescent