Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[EdNeuroGrl]

1 hour ago, japaniia said:

Did you have a nervous breakdown? I am experiencing one right now I really hope I can relax soon ....

No, I've been sick on and off since this summer (has a 4 week hospital stay in May). I was hoping I would be able to put off my surgery until after the semester ended, but no luck here. 

However, I do have Bipolar and all this stress did throw me into an uncontrolled fast-cycling thing, had to double my meds :-( 

[shadowclaw]

11 hours ago, Jimtastic said:

I was supposed to get my reimbursement for travel to a conference and they magically wrote me a cheque for $60 less than what I'm owed. They say they're sending the rest now but it's so freaking slow I NEED MONEY SO I CAN BUY RAMEN

If it makes you feel better, back in my masters program, my advisor booked my flight and rental car for my research trip abroad, then told me Monday evening (when I was leaving on Tuesday morning at crack) that he actually only reserved the rental car and didn't pay for it with the travel credit card. I already had to front the money for the field station, gas, and food and didn't have $1000 for a rental car. Actually, I didn't have money for that stuff either, but my bank gave me a loan for it. So my dad had to go to the bank and deposit money into my account (thank God he had it) Tuesday afternoon and then my husband paid off my credit card with it so I could use it to pay for the car since they only accepted credit cards. It was so stupid. It would have been so much easier if graduate students were allowed to use the travel credit card. Even without the rental car, the money I had to front was close to $1000. I don't know why the business office thought that was reasonable... apparently if I had to pay for the flight I would have qualified for financial hardship or something like that and they would have provided funds, but seriously... who has $1000 just laying around? It also didn't help that my advisor did all of the paperwork at the last possible moment (in fact, my travel paperwork wasn't even signed by him until after I left... I have no idea how I managed to get fully reimbursed with all the slip ups!).

[hippyscientist]

Dear Programme Director,

Please don't send me emails at midnight and expect me to respond immediately. I'm flattered that you feel I'm worthy to include in important decision-making about our programme, but please, Sunday night I want to be asleep by then, especially when I have training at 6am.

Yours sleepily

Piglet33

[gingin6789]

On 11/26/2015, 5:45:33, EdNeuroGrl said:

No, I've been sick on and off since this summer (has a 4 week hospital stay in May). I was hoping I would be able to put off my surgery until after the semester ended, but no luck here. 

However, I do have Bipolar and all this stress did throw me into an uncontrolled fast-cycling thing, had to double my meds :-( 

I was hoping to not have surgery before the end of the semester either, but saaaaaaaaaaaaaame. I get mine on Friday.  What does your hospitalization time/recovery time look like?

[EdNeuroGrl]

3 hours ago, gingin6789 said:

I was hoping to not have surgery before the end of the semester either, but saaaaaaaaaaaaaame. I get mine on Friday.  What does your hospitalization time/recovery time look like?

Man I'm sorry :-(

For me, tho, Friday would be the end of my semester. The end is neigh!

I got out last Tuesday and I should be back in class tomorrow. Actually I HAVE to be back in class tomorrow (final presentation and paper due) *shrug* But I'm doing well now and pushing to get all of my stuff done for tomorrow!

 

BTW the last LoR writer who agreed to write letters for me, has less than 24 hours to submit most of them... still no sign that she's doing it. :-( Have sent reminders, one like 5 days ago. Should I email her again? Would it kill her to respond to my reminder and say she's working on it?

[gingin6789]

7 hours ago, EdNeuroGrl said:

Man I'm sorry :-(

For me, tho, Friday would be the end of my semester. The end is neigh!

I got out last Tuesday and I should be back in class tomorrow. Actually I HAVE to be back in class tomorrow (final presentation and paper due) *shrug* But I'm doing well now and pushing to get all of my stuff done for tomorrow!

 

BTW the last LoR writer who agreed to write letters for me, has less than 24 hours to submit most of them... still no sign that she's doing it. :-( Have sent reminders, one like 5 days ago. Should I email her again? Would it kill her to respond to my reminder and say she's working on it?

Yeah it's the last day of classes! All things considered, it's pretty sweet timing for being during the semester.

Glad you are going to be able to go back tomorrow! Are you feeling up to the presentation?  Let us know how it goes!

Ummm I think you should email her again. Couldn't hurt.  I had to send an email to one of my letter writers, but I hadn't sent her a reminder before today because I was under the (probably mistaken) impression that the programs sent out automated reminder emails to them.  I think you should email her, especially if she didn't reply to your initial email!!

[Catria]

That might be a crazy wish of mine but I wish I could get 4.0 in my coursework (and an insanely high score on the written comps) at the cost of complete inability of doing research... then again I would take the masters and run by that point; I would then try to take my career in another direction.

[EdNeuroGrl]

19 hours ago, gingin6789 said:

Yeah it's the last day of classes! All things considered, it's pretty sweet timing for being during the semester.

Glad you are going to be able to go back tomorrow! Are you feeling up to the presentation?  Let us know how it goes!

Ummm I think you should email her again. Couldn't hurt.  I had to send an email to one of my letter writers, but I hadn't sent her a reminder before today because I was under the (probably mistaken) impression that the programs sent out automated reminder emails to them.  I think you should email her, especially if she didn't reply to your initial email!!

She submitted all 3 of them at like 2am today...  *sigh*

 

The presentation went great and the paper is done... it is actually really good and with some refining and elaboration could lead to a pub in the near future :-D Woot!

[Gvh]

2 minutes ago, EdNeuroGrl said:

She submitted all 3 of them at like 2am today...  *sigh*

WOOT!

[gingin6789]

3 hours ago, EdNeuroGrl said:

She submitted all 3 of them at like 2am today...  *sigh*

 

The presentation went great and the paper is done... it is actually really good and with some refining and elaboration could lead to a pub in the near future :-D Woot!

VICTORY!! Yay! So happy for you!!

[haltheincandescent]

If my dad calls me, asks me what I'm doing, then laughs half-disappointedly half-snidely when I say "reading/studying" one more goddamn time.... I mean, what?

I go home for the holidays, and after family event #7 in a single day, I go to my room to read a bit--because, you know, even though I'm not in school at the moment, I like to stay on top of things, get at least a little reading in every day; and I'm a bit of an introvert and can only take so much "~doing stuff~" in one day. My dad decides he wants to go out shopping, or out to eat or something, who knows--and, it has to be a family affair. "No, it's no big deal, I don't mind, I won't feel left out, I assure you 100% if you all go and I just stay here it will be great and fine. Really," is not a good enough answer--instead, I must be sick, maybe, or am just a boring old wet-blanket who doesn't like to have fun, and also apparently wants to ruin the fun for everyone else. So I give up and go. It was the same thing last year when I actually had papers to write and assigned readings to finish over breaks. I had to finish it all up beforehand, or wait until everyone else was asleep, because god forbid.....

So, now I'm back home, and, hey: time to catch up on reading. And what do you know, he calls to check in about something--and apparently reading on my own time is terribly boring and anti-fun as well! 

He sure does love to brag vaguely about his kid that's got a great GPA and is applying to an Ivy League; he sure did insist when I was still in HS and below that anything not an A was entirely unacceptable; and he sure does love telling dramatic stories about all the long hours he put in and work-centric sacrifices he made "for the family." But, anything that all that work actually entails for anyone but himself...? Nope. Boring. An un-family attitude. (I guess maybe he thinks academic work isn't comparable in effort to his "real" work & so shouldn't take as much time??)

I mean seriously, it seems totally ridiculous even typing this out--but there it is. WTF.

[CBclone]

@haltheincandescent my dad, while not that extreme, also laughs every time he calls and I say "studying/finishing a paper/reading/whatever it is" in response to "what are you doing?" and gets annoyed if he calls while I'm actually out, you know...doing something...and can't answer his call at the moment. "Oh, you went for a bike ride? Spent two days with a friend you haven't seen in years? Went to a football game? Couldn't talk to me during those?" is pretty much what it has become. Well, yeah. Sorry my time for schoolwork doesn't occur when it's convenient for you, when I'm 1,000 miles and a timezone away. Sometimes I *gasp* don't answer while studying either.

My parents (divorced, both re-married, so 4 people here) are upset that I don't have $500 (at least) to spend on a way to get home for Christmas when "I have the time available" to do so. I haven't been home for the holidays since 2008, because for the last 6 seasons I've had to work "peak hours" over that stretch. Now that I have 5 weeks off, yes I have time. I don't have money. I have friends 5 hours away offering free places to stay and free ski passes though, which sound mighty fine right about now. Sorry I'm not trying to spend loan money on a vacation. Sigh. On top of that, I told them in August that I would have 5 weeks available for winter break and if they could keep me in the loop on their plans, it would be great. My dad and his wife will be home for Christmas and then in LA (i'm in NY) for the Rose Bowl and my mom & stepdad havent decided anything. I went ahead and made commitments here for 12/20 and 1/3, 1/12, and 1/18, and now it might interfere with plans they haven't even made yet. Double sigh. 

/vent

13 academic days left, including finals. Finish strong, everyone! 

[Extra Espresso]

Three of my apps are due today, SIX documents for my sorority (I'm President) had to be submitted today, I had an exam yesterday, two projects due Thursday, performing in a concert tomorrow, and MY SORORITY PEOPLE WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. Like, I am busy. Stop. I'm sorry you don't know what page breaks are, don't know how to use Excel, don't know how to copy images into Word, don't know what you're going to do with your life, etc. I. Am. Busy. And, I am not your computer science teacher. STOP.

[hippyscientist]

5 hours ago, haltheincandescent said:

 

I mean seriously, it seems totally ridiculous even typing this out--but there it is. WTF.

Oh I feel your pain! My dad got thrown out of university at undergrad so doesn't have a degree and neither does my mom. My dad is not happy unless I'm excelling - I scored the top grade in one exam, and the second top in the other but because I lost 5% and 10% respectively it wasn't good enough. My mom on the other hand says she's relaly supportive of me getting my masters - and she is to a certain extent. She checks my work for grammar and spelling (nothing else as she can't understand it), and will occasionally transfer me some food money if I'm really stressed so I can have a takeout. But when it comes to actually studying? Oh no, "honey, you're only home for a month. I never get to see you. We're going to do this and this and this and this..." without stopping to consider I might actually have work to do over the break (my semester of classes finishes on Tuesday but my exams aren't until January) and may want to catch up with old friends too. I don't want to spend every minute of that month with my mom!!!!

Agh! Parents! Love them but they really should provide a "Grad School: The Parent's Handbook for dealing with the fact your child is now cleverer than you" when you enrol...

[gingin6789]

Students: read directions and submit everything you need to submit on time please. I'm having major surgery on Friday and you do NOT want me grading during recovery.  GRRRR.

[Alkulu]

My question is if graduate school and the university situation is just a giant middle finger to people from modest backgrounds. 

You come from a lower class background so you have to work part time and thus cannot take as many courses to maintain a good GPA - you are punished. 

Can't do an internship because you have to take summer courses or work during the summer - you are not as competitive. 

Have some poor courses in first year - you are punished. 

Scholarships don't pay for anything anymore - you are punished. 

Unless you are some kind of demi-god of studies, internships, and connections it is nigh impossible to get in. 

[Mattie Roh]

Ugh. I know this is not entirely true, but I feel the same way at times. Nothing says 'You don't belong here' like none of your schools showing up on the search section in ApplyYourself. I, too, didn't have the opportunity to take internships as an undergrad because I was working my way through school and was bizarrely afraid that I would be replaced at my job at Friendly's if I left for a time (the things that go through a young college student's mind! haha). And the graduate program where I got my master's didn't offer student teaching or any kind of professional development I could partake of (again, I was working and school was an hour away from home). Bah.

My only consolation is that maybe the caliber of my work shines a little brighter against my humble background. 

[shadowclaw]

6 hours ago, Alkulu said:

My question is if graduate school and the university situation is just a giant middle finger to people from modest backgrounds. 

You come from a lower class background so you have to work part time and thus cannot take as many courses to maintain a good GPA - you are punished. 

Can't do an internship because you have to take summer courses or work during the summer - you are not as competitive. 

Have some poor courses in first year - you are punished. 

Scholarships don't pay for anything anymore - you are punished. 

Unless you are some kind of demi-god of studies, internships, and connections it is nigh impossible to get in. 

This isn't entirely true. If you are willing to forgo most of your social life and make the most of free time between classes and on lunch breaks, you can work full-time hours and take 18ish credits each semester. I worked at Pizza Hut 6 days a week (often this amounted to over 40 hours) and I took between 17 and 20 credits every semester while getting my B.S. in biology. My GPA was around 3.89 for those 3 years. I also was able to do a paid internship over the summer in addition to my hours at Pizza Hut. So it is possible to maintain a job and school stuff... it just sucks really bad and your friends will wonder what happened to you. 

I must concur with your thoughts on scholarships - they suck! I'm very grateful for the scholarships and grants I received, but I basically had to wait until I was 24 to be able to pay for school without private loans (parents made too much money to qualify for state and federal grants, even though they had a mortgage, car payments, etc and couldn't afford to give me any money towards college). It's pretty crappy that I had 96% gpa in high school and was in the top 15% of my class but couldn't get a good scholarship anywhere. Oh well.

[hippyscientist]

We got grades back from a presentation we did on Friday and I have absolutely no idea how they can justify the grades they handed out. One guy who had a temper-tantrum and threw all his notecards on the floor got a 66, another guy who just read from the paper he was presenting, with no presentation skills whatsoever - his slides contained paragraphs of text from the paper - got 75, and then people who I know worked really hard and presented what I thought were very good, engaging presentations got anywhere from 62-70. It just makes no sense!! 

[HermoineG]

It makes no sense that you work so hard all these years - gradeschool - highschool - college - graduate school (masters) - then Phd - and you end up with a 60-70k pay and have to constantly fight to keep your faculty position!! Faculties deserve more PAY!!!

[Cheshire_Cat]

The world doesn't care about how much you need or deserve money, it just cares about how much it needs what you can give and how many other people can provide the same things for less.  Economics makes me jaded.

Feeling anxious for no good reason, I just am.  I have one presentation left, and two or three class meetings, and then I'm done for the semester.  So now seems like a great time to suffer from impostor syndrome and freak out.  Not.

[mockturtle]

I just had the most exciting interview day with two prospective advisors at the same school. They took me out to lunch, and were just all-around helpful, disarming, and informative. I was super nervous about our meeting, but it flew out the window as soon as I sat down with them. My conversations with their graduate students were equally great, and I've learned a ton about the research process, expectations, and atmosphere of the two (collaborating) labs. I couldn't be more enamored with the school, and I really feel like both PIs are gunning for my acceptance. 

.............Except for that persistent issue of funding. If they're unable to provide a minimum stipend + tuition remission I straight-up can't be admitted, and as an international student (US -> Canada) my chances are looking slim. I want to believe that the fact that they'd even invite me to a (travel-compensated!!) interview says something about my chances, because why would they extend that to a person they didn't think had a solid chance? But there's nothing I can really do about it at this point, other than cross my fingers & continue to try to impress. And that's really rough.

[justanotherlostgrrl]

So tired of groupwork.  Tired of everything, to be honest.  I see groups where people are able to collaborate, and I'm envious of them.  Instead I'm stuck having to present in front of too many people with people who don't work, argue and cram everything at the last minute.  Too old for this.

[haltheincandescent]

ugh i should never have checked the box for the gre search service. i mean, it was nice at first, when i was getting emails from good programs that i might have been actually interested in (different research focuses, though). but now it's a bunch of "yeah! you want to join this MBA program, right?!" with just swell subject lines like "2016 Application Notice!" "Admissions Office of...."

i'm hoping they'll slow down once we get into admissions decision season in late jan/feb, but....with rolling admissions and spring semester admissions....i don't know if i'll be able to take all this "oh man! maybe this is the 'application notice' for X-school i applied to, finally!" blah blah blah

[shadowclaw]

5 hours ago, haltheincandescent said:

ugh i should never have checked the box for the gre search service. i mean, it was nice at first, when i was getting emails from good programs that i might have been actually interested in (different research focuses, though). but now it's a bunch of "yeah! you want to join this MBA program, right?!" with just swell subject lines like "2016 Application Notice!" "Admissions Office of...."

i'm hoping they'll slow down once we get into admissions decision season in late jan/feb, but....with rolling admissions and spring semester admissions....i don't know if i'll be able to take all this "oh man! maybe this is the 'application notice' for X-school i applied to, finally!" blah blah blah

From my experience, they do slow a bit later in the season, but they definitely don't stop. I've been getting e-mails from two or three school at least once a month year-round for several years. There's probably a link somewhere that I can unsubscribe from their mailing list, but I just always delete the e-mails without reading. It sure was a pain during my application seasons, though!