Anyone else sick of whiny graduate students?

[MakeYourself]

I'm sick and tired of whiney ass grad students moaning and complaining about school work and their supervisors. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I've never complained a day in my life, and I'm not saying that it's never justifiable for a grad student to complain, we all need to vent and let it out sometimes. But what I'm talking about is those grad students who complain about grad school non-stop ... we all know the ones, it's all over their stupid facebook page and twitter account and every time you see them they always have something to complain about.

 

I don't understand why anyone would be in graduate school if they didn't have a love of scholarly work? I actually have a passion for what I do and I love taking courses, writing papers, and meeting with my supervisor. WHY THE HELL ELSE WOULD I BE IN GRAD SCHOOL? Obviously nobody is in it for the money. I actually had someone complain to me the other day about an instructor who was.. get this.. ACTUALLY GIVING HER DETAILED FEEDBACK ON HER WORK AND ASSIGNING FAIR GRADES.

 

I guess this post is kind of contradictory because I'm complaining about complaining, but I just had to get this out there. I love what I do and it pisses me off when I hear other grad students bitching. And I'm sick and tired of other grad students calling me an 'eager nerd' because I do my work and I enjoy doing it.

Edited May 2, 2014 by randomness

[Eigen]

I get it. 

 

My suggestion? Find some good people in your cohort to vent to. Over alcohol works well for me. 

[fuzzylogician]

I complain, therefore I am. Everybody does it, it's a good way of working through difficulties--and grad school is pretty hard. Also, can be all-consuming. If some people do it more often than you like, restrict the content you see from them on Facebook. Or, as Eigen suggests, complain about it vent to your friends over alcohol.

[mandarin.orange]

I do my work and I enjoy doing it.

 

How many years in are you? This is relevant.

[MakeYourself]

How many years in are you? This is relevant.

 

I am going into 3rd. I don't think it's relevant, most of the whinos I know are in 1st or 2nd year.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I feel you. I get certain parts of grad school can be hard, but the shit people on GradCafe complain about is ridiculous. Look at the status updates on the side. You see shit like this:

Week 1: OMG soooooo stressed. Applied to 10 schools. Hope I get in.

Week 2: OMG soooooo stressed. Got into my top choice. Hope I get funding.

Week 3: OMG soooooo stressed. Got full funding. Hope I find an apartment.

Week 4: OMG soooooo stressed. Found an apartment. Hope I like my roommate.

Week 5: OMG soooooo stressed. My roommate rocks. Hope I find a parking space tomorrow.

Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Nervous much?

[MakeYourself]

I feel you. I get certain parts of grad school can be hard, but the shit people on GradCafe complain about is ridiculous. Look at the status updates on the side. You see shit like this:

Week 1: OMG soooooo stressed. Applied to 10 schools. Hope I get in.

Week 2: OMG soooooo stressed. Got into my top choice. Hope I get funding.

Week 3: OMG soooooo stressed. Got full funding. Hope I find an apartment.

Week 4: OMG soooooo stressed. Found an apartment. Hope I like my roommate.

Week 5: OMG soooooo stressed. My roommate rocks. Hope I find a parking space tomorrow.

Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Nervous much?

Agreed, and I mean, I get it, a lot of these things can be stressful - moving to a new city, looking for a place, sure, those are stressful things, but I feel like complaining has become a part of grad school culture. For example, look at PhD comics, those comics are popular for joking about 'grad student problems.' Most of the 'problems' though are things that shouldn't be problems. It would be refreshing to meet more grad students who are serious about their craft. And even if you aren't serious, don't take it out on those of us who are. Most of my frustration comes from fellow grad students 'picking' on me because I'm the 'eager' one. What is this, high school?

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Agreed, and I mean, I get it, a lot of these things can be stressful - moving to a new city, looking for a place, sure, those are stressful things, but I feel like complaining has become a part of grad school culture. For example, look at PhD comics, those comics are popular for joking about 'grad student problems.' Most of the 'problems' though are things that shouldn't be problems. It would be refreshing to meet more grad students who are serious about their craft. And even if you aren't serious, don't take it out on those of us who are. Most of my frustration comes from fellow grad students 'picking' on me because I'm the 'eager' one. What is this, high school?

I don't know if they're "real" problems or not, but they're just regular ass problems. Everybody has problems. People struggle to pay the bills, hope to provide for their families, work shitty jobs, face discrimination, etc. Sure, things in grad school can be stressful, but most jobs are. And I would argue grad school is more manageable since you can set aside time to study and write. You can't call a time out on Wall Street. You mentioned PhD Comics. Most of those jokes are about them being swamped because they procastinated. Sorry if I can't sympathize because you dedicated the month of March to Netflix when your thesis is due in April.

[anthropologygeek]

I don't get upset at this site, I get upset when my real friends complain about things and try to make up excuses why they are slackers

[MakeYourself]

I don't get upset at this site, I get upset when my real friends complain about things and try to make up excuses why they are slackers

 

Nobody is getting upset at this site.

[spellbanisher]

Whining is my first passion, but I don't have the chops to be a comedian, so i went to grad school instead.

[Roll Right]

Isn't this a thread full of whiny grad students complaining about grad school?

Edited May 3, 2014 by Roll Right

[bsharpe269]

I totally get what you mean. I'm working on my MS (applying for phd this fall). I'm not bothered by people whining as much as just not caring. Most people in my program are looking to get a job after graduation so they arent involved with lab work and don't study to actually learn, just to manage As and Bs. I love my classes. I study my butt off and am dissapointed when I get less than a 95 because it means I should understnad the material better. I spend all of my free time doing research because I LOVE it. Everyone in my program just looks at me like im sucking up to the teacher by answering every question but actually, im the only one in the freakin class who reads the material ahead of time and knows the answers. One of my professors offered an extra credit assignment recently. I have a high A in the class but the assignment actually looked like a lot of fun and basically the professor needed some help doing something that required advanced math background which he doesnt have. I figured out all of the math for him and then the explained the math to the class the next week. After the class, someone came up to me and said "why did you do all of that extra credit... we both know you dont need any extra points in the class." I'm sorry for actually loving science? I hope that it will be alot of better when I get into a phd program!

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I totally get what you mean. I'm working on my MS (applying for phd this fall). I'm not bothered by people whining as much as just not caring. Most people in my program are looking to get a job after graduation so they arent involved with lab work and don't study to actually learn, just to manage As and Bs. I love my classes. I study my butt off and am dissapointed when I get less than a 95 because it means I should understnad the material better. I spend all of my free time doing research because I LOVE it. Everyone in my program just looks at me like im sucking up to the teacher by answering every question but actually, im the only one in the freakin class who reads the material ahead of time and knows the answers. One of my professors offered an extra credit assignment recently. I have a high A in the class but the assignment actually looked like a lot of fun and basically the professor needed some help doing something that required advanced math background which he doesnt have. I figured out all of the math for him and then the explained the math to the class the next week. After the class, someone came up to me and said "why did you do all of that extra credit... we both know you dont need any extra points in the class." I'm sorry for actually loving science? I hope that it will be alot of better when I get into a phd program!

Haha. I feel you. I actually had an experience like this as an undergrad in a grad class. Well, not the part about students being annoyed with me, but definitely about students seeming to not care. I was the only undergrad student in a grad class. We would mainly discuss assigned articles every week. We'd have 4-5 articles to read every week and we would spend the entirety of each class discussing them. 

 

So I'd get to class a little early sometimes, and I'd see a group of grad students telling each other what each article was about. Apparently a group of 5 students would plan to each read one article. Then they would get to class early and share what they read with the other people. That way everyone knew what to say about all 5 articles but they only had to actually read 1 article each. 

[DerpTastic]

I think most people at some point want people to pity them and feel like their life is difficult. (Not MOST perhaps, but I think a good chunk of people feel this way at some point). 

 

I think I was sort of like this when I started college, but I've definitely changed. It's to the point now where I'll only complain if things for some reason pile up on one or two days, or if something is just going horribly wrong. After seeing other people complain so constantly, I see how annoying it can be. 

 

I would give them some slack. They probably are just getting used to the work load if they're first/second years. They'll probably stop complaining as much, and then be annoyed by the new first/second years complaining.

[St Andrews Lynx]

"Knocked-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge..."

[ssimonin]

There are certain people I know who use Facebook to whinge CONSTANTLY about school matters. (Or share stuff related to the subject they're studying / articles about higher ed, but that's another matter.)

 

The worst culprits I know are not grad students though, but mature students who are addicted to social media and new to academia. They use Fb to ask questions when they should be consulting their TA or looking up the answer for themselves (e.g. 'how do I cite this article correctly?'). And they also complain about their own procrastination habits. I don't mind people discussing their work loads, but it gets stale when they've brought it on themselves by leaving everything 'til the last minute.

 

I simply hide their content entirely from my feed. I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends who live in other countries, not to read the same nonsense I heard earlier that week... And if I didn't hide these whingers' Fb posts, I'd wind up complaining about them a lot more than I do!

[maelia8]

I think that there is a strong tendency to post things online that you wouldn't actually say in person, including complaints, questions, and a whole lot of whining. I don't know that many students who spend all of their time with me in person complaining about how stressed they are, but I do know a lot of who post on Facebook about it, and if GradCafe is any indicator, it happens a lot when people are posting anonymously as well. Just as people are willing to troll or post insults online that they'd never say to anyone's face, they also feel that it's all right to complain and bitch and moan online in a way they'd never do in person.

[Nautiloid]

I reserve my whining for real life and post only good things on social media. That way, all my facebook friends and real life friends can hate me for vastly different reasons! 

 

In all seriousness, some degree of complaining is expected, but there are plenty who overdo it. Where I work right now, he who complains the loudest seems most busy, and the behavior is often rewarded (even if everyone secretly hates you). I think the need to complain about everything is a trait for people who either feel that everything they do goes unappreciated, or they have no intrinsic motivation and look to other people to tell them to keep working. It can also go the other direction for people who are intrinsically motivated and don't complain much, as they can let their frustrations get the best of them by bottling them up (I do this and it sucks). A healthy balance is achieved by venting when necessary about problems which are actually big enough that it becomes difficult to deal with them alone. 

 

As mentioned, a few drinks can go a long way in unleashing the torrent of pent up grad school frustration. Also, mixed drinks are tasty. 

[bsharpe269]

I think the need to complain about everything is a trait for people who either feel that everything they do goes unappreciated, or they have no intrinsic motivation and look to other people to tell them to keep working. It can also go the other direction for people who are intrinsically motivated and don't complain much, as they can let their frustrations get the best of them by bottling them up (I do this and it sucks). A healthy balance is achieved by venting when necessary about problems which are actually big enough that it becomes difficult to deal with them alone. 

 

This is a great point. I am not a complainer at all. If anything, I find myself excitedly discussing everything I get to do with my SO and family. Also, I am also overloaded with intrinsic motivation. I want to study all the time and want have the top grade in all of my classes. As you said, this sounds great but what it actually leads to is an occasional breakdown or stress overload huge fight. A healthier balance of some complaining could potentially alleviate the buildup.

[Nautiloid]

So I'd get to class a little early sometimes, and I'd see a group of grad students telling each other what each article was about. Apparently a group of 5 students would plan to each read one article. Then they would get to class early and share what they read with the other people. That way everyone knew what to say about all 5 articles but they only had to actually read 1 article each. 

 

I realize that some people get annoyed with this, but personally, I think divide and conquer is a legitimate strategy for discussion courses. The few grad courses I took in Undergrad were actually set up to promote this sometimes. It works because discussion courses aren't usually about learning new information, they're about learning to read and understand the literature in a way that you can use or critique what you've read or ask intelligent questions to promote understanding. Not knowing the ins and outs of all the papers actually helped me improve at asking good questions during lectures and seminars. They also wanted us to work together and to be able to teach the information to each other to show mastery.

 

This strategy is also especially helpful if you have other stuff to do and can't spend 10 years reading articles you don't necessarily find pertinent to your goals. That could just be a difference between undergrad and graduate school though. In undergrad you're expected to spend most of your time on your classes but in graduate programs it's your research that takes precedence.

 

Now, all that's not to say that if you enjoy what you're studying you shouldn't go and read everything anyway. There have been times when I've volunteered to lead discussions in classes because I found the information really interesting. However, I don't really get offended by people that just want to do the bare minimum to pass the class. It's their education after all. If they're scrounging for points and not really learning much, it's only going to hurt them. 

[i.am.me]

I <3 whining, if I can craft it into a kinda funny and relatable 140 characters to capture my experience as a working class, minority, female PhD student. 

 

But generally, my social media posts are pretty lighthearted - the really serious struggle in grad school I keep for my fellow student confidantes and advisor. 

[TakeruK]

I don't see anything wrong with dividing up reading assignments and then discussing them before class (although I'd probably do this a day before class or something) so that you don't have to read everything. Unless the syllabus specifically prohibited this for some reason or another! Personally, I need to discuss what I read with someone else in order to truly understand it and to me, a good way of doing this is to have 3 different people read 3 different papers on related topics and then talk about them!

[Eigen]

Personally, I think it's taking the cheap way out to not even read the paper just have someone else give you a synopsis. 

 

That's different than everyone reading all the papers, but having one person focus on each paper in depth (checking sources, etc) and then discussing it. 

 

But I feel like if it was assigned, you should have at least skimmed it. 

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I agree "divide and conquer" could be a good idea for PhD students who have a lot of research to do, but my university's department only went up to the master's level and they didn't do any research. They just took classes and TA'd a course or two. So class actually was the most important thing.

 

Edit: I just realized this was my 1,000th post. 

Edited May 5, 2014 by Gnome Chomsky