Turned Down Offers Thread

[Rrandle101]

Turned down my Comparative Literature offer at Indiana. I hope this helps someone else out!

[Rani13]

Just declined my offer from Emory. Hope it's good news for someone!

[The Hoosier Oxonian]

I've just written to the director of admissions at Rutgers to decline my offer (oof!) Hope this is good news for someone!

[meghan_sparkle]

i'm again probably overthinking everything, but haven't been able to find any advice on this forum about how to gracefully and not too bluntly decline an offer? I'd originally said to one program on the day of acceptance i was eager to attend their visiting day but (now, a few weeks later) it's no longer really in the running for me and don't really think it's a fit. i'd like to decline but genuinely don't know what to write in the email to the DGS other than sorry, i've had to make a tough decision and though i'm honored to be considered i'll be declining my spot, hopefully this helps someone on the waitlist? but maybe even that goes into too much unnecessary detail! i just don't want to be an asshole or ungrateful.

[Rootbound]

12 minutes ago, meghan_sparkle said:

sorry, i've had to make a tough decision and though i'm honored to be considered i'll be declining my spot,

Say this more formally and maybe add something about how great that DGS specifically was and you're good to go. They expect some applicants to turn down their offers, it's not a big insult to them if you change your mind. 

[Rrandle101]

15 minutes ago, meghan_sparkle said:

i'm again probably overthinking everything, but haven't been able to find any advice on this forum about how to gracefully and not too bluntly decline an offer? I'd originally said to one program on the day of acceptance i was eager to attend their visiting day but (now, a few weeks later) it's no longer really in the running for me and don't really think it's a fit. i'd like to decline but genuinely don't know what to write in the email to the DGS other than sorry, i've had to make a tough decision and though i'm honored to be considered i'll be declining my spot, hopefully this helps someone on the waitlist? but maybe even that goes into too much unnecessary detail! i just don't want to be an asshole or ungrateful.

I asked my faculty mentor about this and this is what he said that I found super helpful,

"First of all, you’re not necessarily expected to do anything beyond inform them of your decision. I agree that it would be nice to email the DGS rather than just checking the box in the online portal, but it can be short and businesslike. You don’t have to detail any reasons or tell them which schools you’re still considering at this point. “I’m writing to inform you that I have decided not to attend the University of X next fall. I wanted to let you know of my decision as soon as possible, so that you would have the option of opening the spot in your entering class to someone else. Thank you very much for your offer of admission and for the generous assistantship package you were prepared to give me.” Something like that."

He went on to talk about how they might ask who you turned them down for but that's just something they do for their internal statistics and that emailing your POI is really optional but to treat it "almost like a breakup" if you do email them. Hope this helps!

Edited March 2, 2020 by Rrandle101
typo

[Cryss]

13 hours ago, Rrandle101 said:

I asked my faculty mentor about this and this is what he said that I found super helpful,

"First of all, you’re not necessarily expected to do anything beyond inform them of your decision. I agree that it would be nice to email the DGS rather than just checking the box in the online portal, but it can be short and businesslike. You don’t have to detail any reasons or tell them which schools you’re still considering at this point. “I’m writing to inform you that I have decided not to attend the University of X next fall. I wanted to let you know of my decision as soon as possible, so that you would have the option of opening the spot in your entering class to someone else. Thank you very much for your offer of admission and for the generous assistantship package you were prepared to give me.” Something like that."

He went on to talk about how they might ask who you turned them down for but that's just something they do for their internal statistics and that emailing your POI is really optional but to treat it "almost like a breakup" if you do email them. Hope this helps!

Very helpful, thank you.

Also, this was one of the hardest emails I've ever had to write. Turned down UPitt. Hopefully this opens up a spot for someone. 

[karamazov]

I emailed the DGS at one of the programs to which I've been accepted in order to decline my offer about a week ago, but I still haven't had any sort of acknowledgement from him... I've declined one other offer this cycle and the DGS of that program got back to me the next day. Do not all programs acknowledge when you decline or did I just somehow make a really negative impression this one time or...? We had spoken via email previously so it's not like I had never had any contact with him before. 

[caffeinated applicant]

49 minutes ago, karamazov said:

I emailed the DGS at one of the programs to which I've been accepted in order to decline my offer about a week ago, but I still haven't had any sort of acknowledgement from him... I've declined one other offer this cycle and the DGS of that program got back to me the next day. Do not all programs acknowledge when you decline or did I just somehow make a really negative impression this one time or...? We had spoken via email previously so it's not like I had never had any contact with him before. 

They should definitely write back to close the loop. The email might have gotten lost--perhaps a good idea to send a quick-follow up like "Dear so and so, I was hoping to confirm receipt of my earlier email to ensure that you're aware that I have made the difficult decision not to attend X." 

[karamazov]

10 minutes ago, caffeinated applicant said:

They should definitely write back to close the loop. The email might have gotten lost--perhaps a good idea to send a quick-follow up like "Dear so and so, I was hoping to confirm receipt of my earlier email to ensure that you're aware that I have made the difficult decision not to attend X." 

Thanks for the input! I will definitely write a follow-up email, then. 

[Starbuck420]

On 3/2/2020 at 7:55 PM, karamazov said:

They should definitely write back to close the loop. The email might have gotten lost--perhaps a good idea to send a quick-follow up like "Dear so and so, I was hoping to confirm receipt of my earlier email to ensure that you're aware that I have made the difficult decision not to attend X." 

Unrelated, but out of curiosity, Dmitri, did Georgetown offer you any funding? I got in right out of undergrad and deferred because they didn't award me funding, but later got an email stating they were cutting all funding for the program, and decided not to formally file the deferral. don't think I would have gone there anyhow, nor do I think I would've received one of the very competitive awards, but am just curious to know

[karamazov]

4 hours ago, Starbuck420 said:

Unrelated, but out of curiosity, Dmitri, did Georgetown offer you any funding? I got in right out of undergrad and deferred because they didn't award me funding, but later got an email stating they were cutting all funding for the program, and decided not to formally file the deferral. don't think I would have gone there anyhow, nor do I think I would've received one of the very competitive awards, but am just curious to know

They did not. The acceptance email just noted that I should speak with the program administrator to find out about opportunities for "external funding or hourly wage jobs." I've gotten a few emails about on-campus job possibilities, all of which are the types of positions that used to be offered in conjunction with funding packages, but the listings don't mention a tuition waiver, just an hourly wage. I really wish I'd known that the funding had been discontinued (which makes sense since they changed around the way they described those positions on their website, from "funding opportunities" or something like that to "professional development") because I most definitely would have saved my $90. 

Edit: I just went ahead and declined their offer. 

Edited March 4, 2020 by karamazov

[MichelleObama]

On 3/2/2020 at 6:06 AM, Cryss said:

Also, this was one of the hardest emails I've ever had to write

I am having the hardest time writing these emails! I accepted my offer from Yale this morning and have sent a single email to the Graduate Program Director at Michigan (have yet to email the DGS back because I am terrified--her email was so kind!), and must also email Cornell's DGS and GS Coordinator. I know that one of my LOR writers is good friends with the DGS and I'm also afraid that he will be disappointed that I did not consult with him before accepting the offer, as I said I would...I really just had to accept the offer! I'm just so certain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   

[meghan_sparkle]

Declined Brown! Hope this helps someone on the waitlist -- and in time to attend visit days too.

[Cryss]

30 minutes ago, MichelleObama said:

I am having the hardest time writing these emails! I accepted my offer from Yale this morning and have sent a single email to the Graduate Program Director at Michigan (have yet to email the DGS back because I am terrified--her email was so kind!), and must also email Cornell's DGS and GS Coordinator. I know that one of my LOR writers is good friends with the DGS and I'm also afraid that he will be disappointed that I did not consult with him before accepting the offer, as I said I would...I really just had to accept the offer! I'm just so certain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   

I feel you. What I did was write the email first, spent 10 mins tweaking words to sound as kind and grateful as possible, then spent the 10 mins after that trying to give myself the courage to hit send. Turns out, the DGS was very sweet about it and even thankful I let her know in time for someone on the waitlist to attend the visit. 

The DGS(es) and your LoR writer will understand that you needed to do what was best for your future and that includes a holistic look at the entire package/place/cost of living/program/personal well-being etc etc, according to what's important for you. Don't worry! 

Also, congrats on making a choice!

[MichelleObama]

30 minutes ago, Cryss said:

I feel you. What I did was write the email first, spent 10 mins tweaking words to sound as kind and grateful as possible, then spent the 10 mins after that trying to give myself the courage to hit send. Turns out, the DGS was very sweet about it and even thankful I let her know in time for someone on the waitlist to attend the visit. 

The DGS(es) and your LoR writer will understand that you needed to do what was best for your future and that includes a holistic look at the entire package/place/cost of living/program/personal well-being etc etc, according to what's important for you. Don't worry! 

Also, congrats on making a choice!

Thank you for all of this! Going to have a glass of wine and start drafting ?

[meghan_sparkle]

35 minutes ago, MichelleObama said:

Thank you for all of this! Going to have a glass of wine and start drafting ?

I can send you my Brown one if you want! DGS replied thanking me saying it was "very gracious" which was touching bc I found it hard to write too

[tansy, rue, root, & seed]

On 3/4/2020 at 2:35 PM, Starbuck420 said:

Unrelated, but out of curiosity, Dmitri, did Georgetown offer you any funding? I got in right out of undergrad and deferred because they didn't award me funding, but later got an email stating they were cutting all funding for the program, and decided not to formally file the deferral. don't think I would have gone there anyhow, nor do I think I would've received one of the very competitive awards, but am just curious to know

I too wish I had known this before applying, as I would not have applied. Frankly, I think it's irresponsible and dishonest of them not to clearly communicate this change on their website, since, as recently as last year, they were offering full funding to a handful of admitted students. What a waste of $117 (application + GRE score report fees). To future applicants: Beware of the now-unfunded Georgetown MA!

[Starbuck420]

2 hours ago, tansy, rue, root, & seed said:

To future applicants: Beware of the now-unfunded Georgetown MA!

Indeed! The program seems to be in full Cash Cow mode now. The fact they are offering this unfunded program at all is cruel and irresponsible

I would say, based on my experience living in DC, that it's pretty much impossible to get by here on anything less than ~25K, and even then it's still extremely unpleasant to live here unless you're making significantly more than that (think $37k+), so to offer an MA in literature in this city that is completely unfunded is absolutely predatory. We're talking total cost of $100k+, while enjoying a very low standard of living throughout. I hadn't looked at the website and did not realize that they are now deliberately misleading people. That is really shameful. 

So, note to all: do not attend! do not even apply! The university is trying to prey on your desire to earn a degree from an elite institution, plain and simple, and ought to be ashamed of themselves 

The part that really gets me about this is that, inevitably, some people who can't afford it (which you have to assume is pretty much everyone in the country) will end up attending because they want it on their resume, or because they think it will lead to a big payoff. This is a payoff that (most here would agree, I'm sure) will probably never come. Thinking of making a separate post on this later to warn future applicants. imo, this is much worse than Chicago's MAPH, which is pretty transparent about cost, and is only 1 year, so is about 50-60K less (!!!), all told.

They really should not offer this program if they can't fund it at all. but they'll continue to offer it because they know that they'll have buyers, basically, and that is completely shameful. They will literally ruin the lives of untold students

[The Hoosier Oxonian]

Just wrote to the director of the MA program at NYU to decline their offer. What a weird offer letter they sent, BTW - it essentially said, "We think you're such a great applicant that you probably got into a lot of PhD programs, but if you didn't, pay us money for our MA!" If I'm such a great applicant, why didn't you admit me to your PhD, NYU? Whatever - guess I'll have to go to Yale.  (Just kidding - haven't committed yet!)

[tansy, rue, root, & seed]

1 hour ago, Starbuck420 said:

Indeed! The program seems to be in full Cash Cow mode now. The fact they are offering this unfunded program at all is cruel and irresponsible

I would say, based on my experience living in DC, that it's pretty much impossible to get by here on anything less than ~25K, and even then it's still extremely unpleasant to live here unless you're making significantly more than that (think $37k+), so to offer an MA in literature in this city that is completely unfunded is absolutely predatory. We're talking total cost of $100k+, while enjoying a very low standard of living throughout. I hadn't looked at the website and did not realize that they are now deliberately misleading people. That is really shameful. 

So, note to all: do not attend! do not even apply! The university is trying to prey on your desire to earn a degree from an elite institution, plain and simple, and ought to be ashamed of themselves 

The part that really gets me about this is that, inevitably, some people who can't afford it (which you have to assume is pretty much everyone in the country) will end up attending because they want it on their resume, or because they think it will lead to a big payoff. This is a payoff that (most here would agree, I'm sure) will probably never come. Thinking of making a separate post on this later to warn future applicants. imo, this is much worse than Chicago's MAPH, which is pretty transparent about cost, and is only 1 year, so is about 50-60K less (!!!), all told.

They really should not offer this program if they can't fund it at all. but they'll continue to offer it because they know that they'll have buyers, basically, and that is completely shameful. They will literally ruin the lives of untold students

I agree completely. It's absolutely morally reprehensible and unacceptable on the part of Georgetown English. I think making a separate thread to warn future applicants is an excellent idea! At the very least, you'll be saving people some hefty application fees -- and, at most, tens of thousands of dollars. I plan to write a letter to the department itself sharing my thoughts. 

[onerepublic96]

1 hour ago, tansy, rue, root, & seed said:

I agree completely. It's absolutely morally reprehensible and unacceptable on the part of Georgetown English. I think making a separate thread to warn future applicants is an excellent idea! At the very least, you'll be saving people some hefty application fees -- and, at most, tens of thousands of dollars. I plan to write a letter to the department itself sharing my thoughts. 

Also agree! 
For a good long while during this application cycle, I was strongly considering applying to MA programs as well, and only decided against it at (nearly) the last minute and for a reason unrelated to cost. And this is the first I’m hearing about the cut to funding. Super shady to mislead applicants like this; as far as I remember, when I was still deliberating and researching programs, their website still said funding would be available. 

[Rrandle101]

Turned down my PhD offer at OSU, my waitlist spot at UT, and will be turning down my MA offers at TAMU's English program and Toronto's Medieval Studies program

[karamazov]

Just turned down Northeastern's offer. The DGS and my POIs have been so kind and welcoming throughout the whole process so writing that email was especially difficult. I'm really hoping that this helps out one of the lovely folks I met at the visit back in February! 

[tinymica]

Just withdrew my name from the UC Davis waitlist. I hope my removal will benefit someone else who really wants to be there. I wasn't all that attached to Davis to begin with and I'm not keen to enter their program knowing how UC's treat their grad students.