WINE, WAIT, AND WHINE THREAD

[Cat_Robutt]

13 minutes ago, Phiner. Determination said:

When you're wait-listed for a school.. and they send you a letter thanking you for submitting an application and how they "look forward to working with you" post interview. Though you have known you've been wait-listed for the last five weeks!!!!!!!!! Way to play with my feelings..... #WineNight #MondayBlues

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I hate it when programs (unthinkingly?) send out notifications like those. It seems so cruel!

@raaawr and @sjoh197 I think all of Los Angeles is a suburb! I think Huntington gardens in Pasadena is one of my favorite places to go, or solstice canyon in Malibu (I like hiking). Plenty of good food, plenty of bad traffic.  Coffee at Demitasse in Little Tokyo is still one of my fave places to go, though!

@hippyscientist what you are researching sounds...intense, and sciencey, and awesome. What I'm working on now is nowhere near that: I'm writing about how a character in the comic book Bitch Planet uses her self-confidence in her body, and her non-compliance, as a new schema to be used in challenging capitalist patriarchal societies, so....yeah!

[hippyscientist]

oh my god i am a prize idiot.

I was nominated for a fellowship - one of the criteria for the fellowship is acceptance into the doctoral program.

I'M ACCEPTED SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!

[Euler]

1 minute ago, hippyscientist said:

oh my god i am a prize idiot.

I was nominated for a fellowship - one of the criteria for the fellowship is acceptance into the doctoral program.

I'M ACCEPTED SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!

Hoooold on there- is this true of fellowships in general? I had a couple emails saying I was nominated, and put in the applications, but I just took it as a positive sign a few weeks ago, but I haven't heard anything outside of that.

Either way, CONGRATS!!!

[Phiner. Determination]

2 minutes ago, hippyscientist said:

oh my god i am a prize idiot.

I was nominated for a fellowship - one of the criteria for the fellowship is acceptance into the doctoral program.

I'M ACCEPTED SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so exciting!! 

[Phiner. Determination]

7 minutes ago, Cat_Robutt said:

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I hate it when programs (unthinkingly?) send out notifications like those. It seems so cruel!

@raaawr and @sjoh197 I think all of Los Angeles is a suburb! I think Huntington gardens in Pasadena is one of my favorite places to go, or solstice canyon in Malibu (I like hiking). Plenty of good food, plenty of bad traffic.  Coffee at Demitasse in Little Tokyo is still one of my fave places to go, though!

@hippyscientist what you are researching sounds...intense, and sciencey, and awesome. What I'm working on now is nowhere near that: I'm writing about how a character in the comic book Bitch Planet uses her self-confidence in her body, and her non-compliance, as a new schema to be used in challenging capitalist patriarchal societies, so....yeah!

Yea. It has been interesting.. Hopefully an acceptance will come once things shake-out.. :-) 

[hippyscientist]

@Phiner. Determination and @Euler thank you guys! I still haven't had an official notification, but I got sent the nomination through beginning of January...it's taken me this long to read the fine print to see that the eligibility criteria included acceptance into the program. My friends and boyfriend are not going to let me live this down.

@Euler I am not sure of every fellowship, I just saw it in the fine print. Worth an enquiry/scout around a website in case. Congrats on the nominations yourself  

[iloveOM]

32 minutes ago, hippyscientist said:

@Phiner. Determination and @Euler thank you guys! I still haven't had an official notification, but I got sent the nomination through beginning of January...it's taken me this long to read the fine print to see that the eligibility criteria included acceptance into the program. My friends and boyfriend are not going to let me live this down.

@Euler I am not sure of every fellowship, I just saw it in the fine print. Worth an enquiry/scout around a website in case. Congrats on the nominations yourself  

Congratulation and good luck with the nomination!

I just saw an admission to my " super duper" reach on the result page. He/she got it on Friday last week. That school only accepted 3 people last year, and usually not more than that. Panic mode kicks in .....

 

[Euler]

49 minutes ago, hippyscientist said:

@Phiner. Determination and @Euler thank you guys! I still haven't had an official notification, but I got sent the nomination through beginning of January...it's taken me this long to read the fine print to see that the eligibility criteria included acceptance into the program. My friends and boyfriend are not going to let me live this down.

@Euler I am not sure of every fellowship, I just saw it in the fine print. Worth an enquiry/scout around a website in case. Congrats on the nominations yourself  

After doing some hunting, I found these on the fellowship application instructions:

"This fellowship will begin with the nomination of a student by the academic unit that has admitted the student."

"This fellowship will begin with the nomination of a student by the academic unit that has admitted the student, or will admit by the endorsement deadline.  "

And those are on two separate ones. I wish they would just give me an official decision, especially since it's one of my top choices!

[pterosaur]

I spent my day actually working and come back to so much happening in the meantime!

I do not have pink hair. I shaved my head once during undergrad, though. It was worth it just for the reaction of my research advisor. But winter in Boston was perhaps sub-ideal timing. I'm also so lazy that once I didn't get a haircut for 2 years because I was intimidated by finding somewhere to get a haircut. (I usually have short hair.)

On the topic of passports/travel, I feel like an hardened traveler now, since the UK is small and you need a passport to go anywhere (since they insist on not being part of the Schengen zone). Except when I went to continental Europe for research - UK border control was being super scrutinous right after the Paris attacks.

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

2 hours ago, FoxAndChicken said:

 Awh thanks! Also, you got into EVERY program??? Omg. That's so many programs. I have had so much fun walking around campus today. I went to Starbucks and the barista taking my order was like "YOUR HAIR IS SO COOL." And then the other barista who delivered my drink was like "Uh... Here's your coff- . . . Oh. My. God. Yasss. That is the- woah. That is amazing. Yes." And I was like "Thank you!" Basically, I've been having a lot of fun today looking like a highlighter.

Did you say you're coming to visit UMich? When is that?

I'm kind of jealous. I really wish I could rock a hairstyle like that. You really pull it off!

Not so much on the UMich visit. Sorry!

[magnetite]

Got my second rejection today. Figured this would be a good spot to whine about it. I'm slowly losing hope in my other applications.

At the same time, I'm almost excited in a way to get another chance, should I get rejected everywhere. Another year of refining my interests and actually applying for the GRFP would be helpful.

[bugabooo]

2 hours ago, hippyscientist said:

Okay I'm confused. One of my schools asked me to make an ID login thing so I did, and now I can access everything - like register for classes kinda access. But I've had no email saying we've accepted you. But all my details (DOB, nationality, degree programme etc) are on the current student portal. And now we wait...

Same thing happened to me with Elmhurst. Turns out, it was just a way for me to access my application file-- and becomes a student portal if you actually become a student. However, I too APPEAR to have access to class registration, events, etc. I don't, actually. Like everything is there but when clicked I get errors. I'd advise you to email the program director or office of admissions at that school. That's what I did, and I was told that my confusion was common and then everything was explained properly. The person I contacted expressed that he actually hated the current system because it confuses applicants so much, and he's been lobbying for a change. 

[bugabooo]

4 minutes ago, magnetite said:

Got my second rejection today. Figured this would be a good spot to whine about it. I'm slowly losing hope in my other applications.

At the same time, I'm almost excited in a way to get another chance, should I get rejected everywhere. Another year of refining my interests and actually applying for the GRFP would be helpful.

Rejections are not always as negative as we all think. While I am rooting for you and hope you get some acceptances, I'm also happy that you're able to see the brighter side. It's not the end of the world, as we so often think it is. It's just a change of plans if it happens, and I like to think that those who can survive the application process (and interviews, and emails, and blah blah blah) can certainly do so more than once! After all, we've got to be pretty tough to do all this. 
I forget sometimes how abnormal it is, to go to grad school. We're not the rule-- in many cases, we're the exception to it even before we're accepted anywhere.

Whatever happens, I think you'll find support here.  

[artsy16]

6 minutes ago, bugabooo said:

Same thing happened to me with Elmhurst. Turns out, it was just a way for me to access my application file-- and becomes a student portal if you actually become a student. However, I too APPEAR to have access to class registration, events, etc. I don't, actually. Like everything is there but when clicked I get errors. I'd advise you to email the program director or office of admissions at that school. That's what I did, and I was told that my confusion was common and then everything was explained properly. The person I contacted expressed that he actually hated the current system because it confuses applicants so much, and he's been lobbying for a change. 

Same here. A couple of schools I applied to assign applicants actual student ID numbers (and email addresses but we aren't told those, I only found out by happenstance from a secretary) that then transfer if you attend. Seems like a waste/extra effort on their part. And it does get your hopes up haha

 

also, ditto to everything bugabooo said. always support here

Edited February 23, 2016 by artsy16

[bugabooo]

Just now, artsy16 said:

Same here. A couple of schools I applied to assign applicants actual student ID numbers (and email addresses but we aren't told those, I only found out by happenstance from a secretary) that then transfer if you attend. Seems like a waste/extra effort on their part. And it does get your hopes up haha

I have to admit... I got the Tech HelpDesk at one University to unlock my student accounts, totally by mistake! I thought I had my login info wrong so I called and they just unlocked it. I have access to my student email and could use it if I wanted to, and I have access to all the student service pages like financial aid, personal info, grades and holds, schedule... everything. It's all blank right now, because I haven't actually accepted their offer. But unlike Elmhurst, I don't think I was meant to be able to use all that yet. Oops!!

[magnetite]

My top choice school has already assigned me an email address. I won't lie and say I haven't been tempted to actually use it and pretend I've been accepted.

 

[MarineBluePsy]

7 minutes ago, magnetite said:

My top choice school has already assigned me an email address. I won't lie and say I haven't been tempted to actually use it and pretend I've been accepted.

 

LMAO!  I had a few schools assign me a student id, student email, and set up my passwords so I really can use those emails.  Just seems like they're making IT do extra work for no reason.

[Need Coffee in an IV]

Another day goes by without news. Congrats with all the good news though! I'm feeling like Adele gets me right now haha

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

I actually kind of screwed up by applying for the GRFP as an undergrad... I'm hoping I don't get it. I got a fellowship at Cornell which I can only use my first year, and if I get the GRFP that fellowship money will be wasted. I'd much rather get it during my first year of grad school..

 

Fortunately, I screwed up that GRFP application so badly, the judges will be laughing all the way until June

[rhombusbombus]

22 minutes ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I actually kind of screwed up by applying for the GRFP as an undergrad... I'm hoping I don't get it. I got a fellowship at Cornell which I can only use my first year, and if I get the GRFP that fellowship money will be wasted. I'd much rather get it during my first year of grad school..

 

Fortunately, I screwed up that GRFP application so badly, the judges will be laughing all the way until June

FALSE! You can defer the GRFP!

I also applied before entering grad school, and while I'm sure it was a pile of steaming horse shit, the experience is invaluable. I'm a year ahead of everyone and I'll have feedback to try again this year. Although, I'm deathly afraid of my future PI reading it and regretting taking me on as a student.

Edited February 23, 2016 by rhombusbombus

[DrZoidberg]

On the note of fellowships, is it generally the case that if a school awards you a fellowship and you decline, they can't nominate another student and the money is lost? I have been nominated (which means, very likely, awarded) a really great fellowship at a really great school (A), but was just accepted into another school (B) which might just be even better, and maybe I'd like to go there instead. School A has been pushing to get me to commit to their program and accept the fellowship if I get it, otherwise they will lose out on it. I feel pretty stressed out, because I feel constrained in trying to figure out what is best for me, and I am terrified of burning bridges at school A, who are all people I would potentially like to work with in the future. They haven't even sent me anything officially binding on their part yet, but because they asked me before nominating me if I was interested, it feels like they think I already said yes. On the other hand, school B has sent official offer of admission plus the full funding for the entire program, without all the subtle pressure.

Anyone experiencing similar pressure to accept a fellowship and admission?

Edited February 23, 2016 by DrZoidberg

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

19 minutes ago, rhombusbombus said:

FALSE! You can defer the GRFP!

I also applied before entering grad school, and while I'm sure it was a pile of steaming horse shit, the experience is invaluable. I'm a year ahead of everyone and I'll have feedback to try again this year. Although, I'm deathly afraid of my future PI reading it and regretting taking me on as a student.

Oh really? I didn't know that. You just saved my butt

But now I'll feel bad if I don't get it! Bah!

[Euler]

3 minutes ago, DrZoidberg said:

On the note of fellowships, is it generally the case that if a school awards you a fellowship and you decline, they can't nominate another student and the money is lost? I have been nominated (which means, very likely, awarded) a really great fellowship at a really great school (A), but was just accepted into another school (B) which might just be even better, and maybe I'd like to go there instead. School A has been pushing to get me to commit to their program and accept the fellowship if I get it, otherwise they will lose out on it. I feel pretty stressed out, because I feel constrained in trying to figure out what is best for me, and I am terrified of burning bridges at school A, who are all people I would potentially like to work with in the future. They haven't even sent me anything officially binding on their part yet, but because they asked me before nominating me if I was interested, it feels like they think I already said yes. On the other hand, school B has sent official offer of admission plus the full funding for the entire program, without all the subtle pressure.

Anyone experiencing similar pressure to accept a fellowship and admission?

If you haven't committed, there's nothing wrong on your end. I'm not sure on the ins and outs of fellowships, but I expect that if you have a fellowship from the overall grad program, that means your department wouldn't have to fund you, so you're an extra "slot" for a student if you will. But either way, if you receive a better offer from B, I see no reason for you to feel guilty turning down A if you haven't given any true commitment.

[DrZoidberg]

Just now, Euler said:

If you haven't committed, there's nothing wrong on your end. I'm not sure on the ins and outs of fellowships, but I expect that if you have a fellowship from the overall grad program, that means your department wouldn't have to fund you, so you're an extra "slot" for a student if you will. But either way, if you receive a better offer from B, I see no reason for you to feel guilty turning down A if you haven't given any true commitment.

I have definitely expressed interest because it is a fantastic program, at a top school, and if it wasn't because of this complete surprise that I was accepted into school B it would be a no-brainer to go to school A, and I would thoroughly enjoy it. But I also told them, several times, that I was "considering my options, difficult decision to make, many factors" etc. (and I am undecided at the moment). Officially, I am alright, no contractual obligation. But these are some pretty serious guys in my field and I just imagine being shunned from the academic community for years to come (I was just calculating their age, to try and figure out how many years down the line this might affect me before they retire). I know it isn't that bad, they don't have a list of students whose lives they try to ruin, but I do know some of them are also kind of invested and don't let things go so easily. 

[Euler]

1 minute ago, DrZoidberg said:

I have definitely expressed interest because it is a fantastic program, at a top school, and if it wasn't because of this complete surprise that I was accepted into school B it would be a no-brainer to go to school A, and I would thoroughly enjoy it. But I also told them, several times, that I was "considering my options, difficult decision to make, many factors" etc. (and I am undecided at the moment). Officially, I am alright, no contractual obligation. But these are some pretty serious guys in my field and I just imagine being shunned from the academic community for years to come (I was just calculating their age, to try and figure out how many years down the line this might affect me before they retire). I know it isn't that bad, they don't have a list of students whose lives they try to ruin, but I do know some of them are also kind of invested and don't let things go so easily. 

It sounds like you've done as much as could be reasonably expected as far as communicating with them.  I know it's easy to overthink everything in this whole process/waiting period, but from what you've said, I can't see anything more you could've reasonably done.

You're deciding something pretty major, that is likely a several year commitment- definitely don't make that decision based on guilt!