I want to do a PhD but i have schizophrenia

[sophian]

Hello,

I would like to do a PhD but I have mild schizophrenia. During my masters, the stress of school triggered
my very first episode, so I am kinda already scared to go back full-time because I do not want another episode.
Words cannot describe how terrible they are. Nonetheless, I have always dreamed of doing a PhD, and I do
not want my illness to hold me back. But I am aware that a PhD is very stressful. I also have concentration problems
sometimes. I live with my parents now because I need their support. Also, the school I want to go to has a
mandatory rule for studying full-time the first two years, then you can go part-time after that. There is another school
that offers it part-time but I do not have the grades to study there. I already asked the school I want to apply to if I can
study part-time due to a disability, and they refused. I really do not want to let my PhD dream go - I am willing to do the
work, I am just scared that it will be too stressful that I may relapse. I was planning on not even working the first year
(because I have saved some money so I will be fine), so that I could just focus on my classes without too much stress.

I am just looking for some feedback from anyone really. I do not plan on telling anyone at the school about my
illness if I get in. It's just hard for me to think I can't do a PhD, which has been a dream since high school, because
I have a mental illness. I have taken 3 years off but PhD has always been on my mind. Thanks again!!!

[TWD2016]

I don't have much experience with this particular thing, but i have had people tell me that i was not capable of getting accepted to a PhD program. The joke is on them because I got accepted to great programs! I just want to encourage you to follow your dreams and don't let anything hold you back! There are programs out there that will be willing to work with you, you just have to research them! I know you can do it!?

[namarie]

Is your schizophrenia well managed with some sort of medication/therapy? I read a biography "The Center Cannot Hold" by Elyn Saks, who made it through law school with schizophrenia. She had struggles, but she is now able to teach law at a university in California. 

I wouldn't give up your dream of a PhD. But I would take the time to really get to know your stressors, and make sure that your illness is as well-managed as possible. What makes you feel at ease, and what were events that may have preceded your first episode? Personally, I struggle with bipolar, and being able to handle the stress of grad school is a concern. 

Never forget that it is possible, it just might be a little harder for us than for other people. Good luck, and keep us posted! 

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

Do you speak with a psychologist or psychiatrist as part of your treatment? Have you mentioned your concerns to them? They may be able to help you figure out if you're in a place that you can undertake the stress of a PhD program and how you could go about reducing your stressors if you do.

[heyDW]

If the school you go to has any kind of accessibility/disability services, you can get reasonable accommodations! I have very bad generalized anxiety and depression and potentially autism. I had a few rough weeks during my Master's program, but being communicative about my needs helped-- I never saw accessibility services but I wish I had. When I teach I get emails from them saying things like "this student needs more time to complete work" or "this student can't do presentations in class" and I have to follow the accommodations or the university could be sued. 

[buttercup8d]

Definitely speak up and ask for help (you have every right to pursue a PhD as any other person). It's not a weakness to ask for help either!

Keep looking until you find the right support and resources you need. Your experiences and perspectives would make you a unique and invaluable asset to any program because you have insights/perspectives that a lot of people don't have.

Good luck! We are here to support you too! 

[meep95]

I would consider looking at more schools that will allow you to do part time.  I would worry that if you do have another episode that it may effect your studies in a way that you would need to redo the semester or would not make the grades to stay in the program. Make sure you are able to see mental health professionals regularly and can schedule time for yourself to relax. Once you are accepted to a program you want to go to, I would maybe tell your advisor once you know them better and ask them to keep it confidential. but that way they will be able to support you and be more lenient if you start to have prodromal effects, or maybe be able to notice the effects sooner before an episode. Definitely don't let this stop you from pursuing your dreams though   I don't know if you are on medication, but I have worked with clients who find the right medication for them and are able to be just as successful as anyone else, so long as they take them properly.  This is always a potential option as well.

[grubyczarnykot]

What field interests you? You say you've already done a master's, so it's good you have experience with the stress of graduate school (and the straight up toxic atmosphere it engenders). I personally struggle with multiple physical and psychological (well, where's the distinction really -- that's actually my field and why I am in this game to begin with ) disabilities and I have completed one MA, am in the middle of another (switching fields into history of science/medicine, for reasons you can maybe imagine), and have received one acceptance and one waitlist from two out of the five PhD programs I applied to this round. My dad voice of encouragement wants to say, "you should TOTALLY do it, because we need more people with mental and physical disabilities in academia with crucial perspectives about the production and dissemination of knowledge!!!" But, knowing the reality of living with severe mental illness, definitely make sure you are prepared to deal with academia's demands before you dive in! Again, I know you already have some idea of this considering you've already done an MA, but I do want to stress that making sure you have secured the necessary resources for yourself should disaster strike be a number one priority. For example, only apply to schools that guarantee good healthcare with metal healthcare included -- make sure to check this! Funnily enough, in many ways, doing a PhD is a -good- option for me because it's A) more forgiving in terms of allowing for crises w/r/t mental illness than MANY other non-academic jobs (of course this varies depending where you are, but my first MA program was extremely accommodating when I had to take a leave of absence), and B ) the health insurance that PhD programs provide is often actually better than if I had to find insurance on the *cough* marketplace (plans that often include zero mental healthcare). 

Also, depending on where you apply (which is always the case), your experience might work towards your advantage. This is a tricky one, because you REALLY have to suss out the programs and get a sense for if it would be appropriate to "speak from experience". This also depends on what field you're interested in. Mental health is still (as you know) highly stigmatized, especially in the academic world. However, I do believe that even if you don't explicitly state your first-hand experience suffering through a severely mentally ill existence, the strength and uniqueness of speaking through experience might be a plus for your applications. Again, that's only if you're looking to focus on something somewhat related to "health" or "disability". 

I hope some of that made sense? In any case, take care of yourself, and having mental illness (however severe) should not deter you from pursuing a PhD. In fact, I think we need more "mentally ill" academics out there. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk about this, btw. Good luck!

[sophian]

Hi everyone. I am back. It is now 2020, and I started my very first PhD program a distance learning program in September 2020. I finally did it!

 

However, now I have another concern about the PhD program and job prospects. I also now have bipolar disorder, therefore,

combined with schizophrenia, I have schizoaffective disorder. This has really increased my symptoms. 

 

Now I am concerned about what I can do upon completing. I know I just started but im wondering if anyone is aware of part time

phd jobs I can hold in the future. A full time career seems unrealistic for me with my illness. I am just wondering if there are any ideas?

 

ThX So much!!

[sophian]

Im just wondering if anyone works part time with a phd? Thx U

[PsyDuck90]

Maybe adjunct teaching? 

[sophian]

Hi there,

 

I have a concern re: my PhD. I am currently in my 2nd semester and really want to drop out.

It is more work that I expected, and I feel overwhelmed by my supervisor's thesis comments so far. I also have concentration issues.

Makes me sad that I already want to drop out.

I was just wondering how anyone manages a phd with bipolar or schizophrenia. So far its really hard for me even for motivation.

 

Thx!!

[forensicpsychstu]

Hi there, I saw someone already mentioned Elyn Saks, but here is a great ted talk that she did a while ago: https://www.ted.com/talks/elyn_saks_a_tale_of_mental_illness_from_the_inside?language=en

She has schizophrenia and is now a professor of both psychology and law.

Have you talked to your supervisor about struggling? Do they know about your diagnoses? If not, being honest with them may help them create accommodations that would allow you to succeed. Another option may be to talk more with your psychologist/psychiatrist about suggestions they have.

Also, even people that don't have any kind of diagnosed mental illnesses can become overwhelmed at advisor's comments and even want to drop out after the first few semesters. So you are not alone in that aspect and you should not feel bad about considering it. 

[sophian]

Thx so much for ur comment, it was really encouraging

 

[John Watson]

My watered eyes are filled with tears as I'm reading the comments on this thread. Some people said that mental illness is "stigmatized," especially in academia. But I have seen quite the opposite on TheGradCafe: every one is showing empathies and trying to help. I will definitely keep your kind words in mind as I move on, and I will never forget that there is still kindness that exists in this world.