Anyone ever confused by your profession?

[Bukharan]

- I study International Relations.

(What follows next is probably endured by many IR students.)

- So do they teach you how to be a diplomat? Will you join Foreign Office?

- Do you want to be a spy?

- How long does it take to become an ambassador?

- I think it would be a wise idea (bitch slap) to work for the UN.

- Citing some random piece of world news they heard on TV that morning and misunderstood/misrepresented anyway; then trying to intellectually sum it up along the lines: 'Everyone knows that China and India are friends.... or was it China and Pakistan? Anyway... what do you think?'

[kotov]

I study history. The most frequent response I get is:

Oh, I hate history! It's so boring! [Thanks. I don't care.]

When I explain my interest in Eastern Europe:

Oh, so you're a Communist? [The Cold War ended 20 years ago and no one in the US noticed.]

When I talk about my interests in genocide, I usually get horrified looks, or the question:

WTF is the Holodomor? [i guess this is a fair question, as only some people call it that and most probably aren't familiar with it.]

And of course the classic:

So do you want to teach high school? [No, OMG, no. I'd gouge my eyes out first. This is why I want to get a Ph.D.]

[TheDude]

I'll echo neuro....

I get the couch comment quite a bit. "So, you'll probably have a pretty sweet couch?"

Once I get past this and explain I am interested in Developmental psychology it gets really weird. "So, you like analyze kids for problems and stuff?" No, not really.

At this point I crack a joke something on the lines of, "No, I can't tell you why your kid sets cats on fire!"

My Uncle won't let me talk to my 5 year old cousin anymore because he's paranoid that I am diagnosing him with something. It's nutty.

I think most of it stems from the fact that I'm the only one in my family to have attended college.

Lastly, I do feel like I've found a way to convey why research is so important to everyone. Within a few minutes of talking to most people know they get it. However, the last thing I want to do is bore them with details unless they ask. Even if this happens I still constantly checkup with them mentally to make sure I'm not boring them.

Edited January 5, 2011 by musicforfun

[Strangefox]

My Uncle won't let me talk to my 5 year old cousin anymore because he's paranoid that I am diagnosing him with something. It's nutty.

[katerific]

I've noticed that when I tell people I'm interested in earth science, they don't really ask questions or make any comments. Perhaps "earth science" is a pretty good description, or they assume geology is too boring to ask any questions

This is slightly unrelated, but I know I've left a lot of my peers from HS confused. I saw quite a few over the break, and I hadn't seen most since graduation (4 years ago!). Their response to me explaining what I'm doing with my life: "You're doing that?? I thought you would do art or writing or something!"

[juilletmercredi]

I get this double, since I'm in a public health and psychology interdiscplinary program. I don't even bother telling people the real name (sociomedical sciences) because no one knows what that is.

Them: What are you getting your PhD in?

Me: It's in psychology.

A: Are you psychoanalyzing me right now/watch out, she's going to psychoanalyze you!

B: So you want to get inside crazy people's minds?

C: So you want to to be a therapist, then?

D: So do you get to play with rats all day? (On the rare occasion someone realizes there are research psychologists as well as therapists, I get this question. I don't use animal models in my research, but even if I did...playing with rats?)

And then I have to explain that it's a research degree blah blah blah.

Now when I answer public health:

A: Is that like medical school?

B: So you are like trying to find the cure for cancer or something?

C: (Once they find out I do HIV research) So you are like trying to find the cure for AIDS, then?

And then there's the universal question..."So what are you going to do with that?"

My younger sister is so confused by what I do I've given up trying to explain it to her, and when people ask her she just tells them I'm trying to find a cure for AIDS. At this point I don't even care anymore, it's close enough. Lol!

[TheDude]

Whoa!

I had a big breakthrough with my dad last night. He called and said, "Hey Son, I was at a job site the other day and I met a woman who is a developmental psychologist. I started telling her you were looking to do that. She even went to the school you interviewed at a bunch and said you definitely need to go there. I started telling her about all your research and she was really impressed."

I think he gets it!! My dad does excavation for a living, and it took like a year for him to understand there were layers to graduate school education. I just figured he'd tell people I'm still in school.

Edited January 6, 2011 by musicforfun

[zjwah]

I've recently switched from saying I'm planning on getting my degree in Epidemiology to saying Public Health when asked.

I now get questions about medical school and the medical field. But at least I don't get blank stares when I say "Epidemiology." Plus, I don't have to tell people again what I'm studying because they can't remember the word epidemiology. Public Health is just so much easier. And because I live in Atlanta, the next question is always, "So you want to work for the CDC?" It's a fair question, and I might work for the CDC at some point, but it's hard to make people understand that there's more to public health than just the CDC.

[zjwah]

- I study International Relations.

(What follows next is probably endured by many IR students.)

- So do they teach you how to be a diplomat? Will you join Foreign Office?

- Do you want to be a spy?

- How long does it take to become an ambassador?

- I think it would be a wise idea (bitch slap) to work for the UN.

- Citing some random piece of world news they heard on TV that morning and misunderstood/misrepresented anyway; then trying to intellectually sum it up along the lines: 'Everyone knows that China and India are friends.... or was it China and Pakistan? Anyway... what do you think?'

LOL, after four years of undergrad and two studying IR, I understand all of these. Plus,

- How would YOU solve the problem in (insert current hot topic)

- Do you really think people in (insert current political turmoil) can really ever get along?

- So, if you don't want to work for the CIA, where else could you even get a job related to your degree? (I focus in Global Health, not remotely interested in working for the CIA, but I have several other options)

[robot_hamster]

This thread is funny!

When I was an undergrad:

Them: So you're a biology major, right?

Me: Yes

Them: Maybe you can help me, I'm having a problem. Then they proceed to describe their menstrual cycle in detail and wants to know why this is doing that.

Me: Uh, well...

(Now I do know the answer to some things, but this is stuff you learn in sex-ed in grade school)

Now that I am a grad student:

Them: What are you studying?

Me: (technically) Natural resources

Them: So you want to be a forest ranger?

Me: Uh, no

Edited January 6, 2011 by robot_hamster

[starmaker]

Most people seem to think computer science = programming = IT.

With someone I actually know and reasonably like, though (as opposed to some random person), I'm generally willing to explain what I do at whatever level of detail interests them.

My little sister, who is an aspiring medievalist, has trouble keeping what I do straight, and for a while she described me to people as "some kind of robotics technician, or something" (I was working as a pattern recognition & machine learning scientist). She took an intro CS class as a breadth course last semester, and I had some fun (no sarcasm intended) explaining to her how the code that she was typing actually gets "understood" as instructions by the computer (she said that my explanation was genuinely interesting but that she was glad to be studying medieval drama and not anything computer-related).

The other side of this is, I've worked at defense and security contractors for most of my career, and in some cases this causes people (from both ends of the political spectrum) to assume that I'm politically conservative, or at least a neocon (especially if they also know that I'm an officer in a US military auxiliary). Hahahaha no. Not even a little bit.

[esoryma]

Other Person: So what are you doing next year?

Me: I'm hoping to start a PhD program in neuroscience.

Other Person: So you want to be a neurosurgeon?

Me: No, I'm not going to medical school--I want to understand how the brain works.

Other Person: Isn't that the same thing?

Me: *headdesk*

I went to the Society for Neuroscience meeting last year (as an undergrad, with a group of other undergrads), and many of our conversations were as follows:

Others: So, why are you in San Diego?

Us: We're here for the Neuroscience meeting!

Others: Oh, so you're neurosurgeons!

Us: .....Yes. Yes, we are indeed neurosurgeons.

On the plane back from the aforementioned meeting, the guy next to me on the plane found out I study neuroscience and we had this conversation:

Plane Guy: Oh, so you're going to be a neurosurgeon?

Me: No, I'm going into neuroscience research.

Plane Guy: Okay so can you tell me why I have so much rage? I got a concussion once, is that why I am always so angry now?

Me: ....uh....I don't know....

I'm a psychology major so I've gotten all of the classic psychology examples, such as...:

Person 1: Oh-ho! So-and-so can be your first patient!!

Person 2: So can you read my mind?

Person 4: Can you tell me what's wrong with me? *Insert a description of bizarre personality traits*.

...as well as some stranger examples, such as:

Person 5: D'you think it'd be okay if I stopped taking my SSRIs? I don't like the side-effects.

Person 6: I think I'm autistic. Should I tell my doctor?

I was also a research assistant in a goldfish social behavior lab one summer:

Me: I study the social and sexual behavior of goldfish!

Person 1: Goldfish only have 3-second memories, they don't have social lives.

Person 2: So you watch goldfish porn all day?

Edited January 14, 2011 by esoryma

[augustquail]

I've got an MA in English, and will *hopefully* be admitted into a phd. program soon....

Person 1: "What's your major?"

Me: "English"

1: "So you want to be a writer?"

Me: "Well, not exactly."

1: "Yeah, I mean, not to be offensive or anything, but what can you really do with that? Like, write books? I mean, what's the point of being an English major? Can't anyone write stuff?"

Me: "You'd be surprised."

Person 2: "So what do you want to do?"

Me: "I'm going to get a ph.d in english."

2: "Oh, like be a teacher?"

Me: "Teaching is part of it. But I'll be a scholar, you know, research, write, that kind of stuff."

2: "Isn't research science though?"

Person 3: "What's your major?"

Me: "English."

Person 3: "Ugh, I hate Shakespeare."

Me: "Well, we don't really just study shakespeare. It's a lot of things, contemporary lit, theory, cultural studies. And a lot of writing."

Person 3: "Oh god, I hate writing. I just don't have anything to say, you know? And all those stupid English teachers always want you to over-analyze things. Like, who cares why the writer put a burning building in the book, or what slavery was about, you know?"

Another conversation, that actually happened, but is a little irrevelant, took place between me a long time friend. It was a few years ago, and she asked me what courses I was taking.

Her: "So, what courses are you taking?"

Me: "Well, a few that are required, but my favorite one is an upper level lit theory class. My professor is a classical marxist so we've been reading a lot of marx, and doing analyses of literature and postmodern theory through a materialist lens."

Her: "I don't get that. I mean, I know it's just a class, but if Marx had his way and we were all equal, everyone would kill themselves."

Me: "Have you ever read any Marx?"

Her (lying): "Yes, of course."

Me: "Well, it's more complicated than 'everyone being equal'. Do you really think if everyone had equal access to health care, paid vacations, education, etc. they'd all go out and kill themselves?"

Her: "Well they could never be better than anyone else, so what's the point of waking up in the morning?"

[anonacademic]

Person 3: "Oh god, I hate writing. I just don't have anything to say, you know? And all those stupid English teachers always want you to over-analyze things. Like, who cares why the writer put a burning building in the book, or what slavery was about, you know?"

Please tell me that is a Barn Burning reference!

I like to point out to people that the humanities are the study of what makes us human, because I often receive incredulous looks when I say I'm in English (throwing in the PhD does get some respect, though). I don't know if it helps, but I feel validated!

[SyntheticOrganiker]

People: So what are you doing with your life?

Me: Well I'm going to get a PhD in chemistry.

People: What type of Chemistry?

Me: Organic Synthesis.

People then experience a moment where they look like they are experiencing bad gas.

Me: It's like making drugs (it is, not, in fact like this, but whatever lets me get away from these conversations faster).

[ElectedSilence]

- Person: So you're applying for a Ph.D.? What in?

- Me: English

- Person: "I totally never got Shakespeare. What do you plan to study?"

- Me: Shakespeare.

-

- Person: "What are you going to study?"

- Me: "English literature."

- Person: "You're going to leave finance for that? Be surrounded by all those backbiting hacks who write stuff nobody will ever read on their idiosyncratic pet projects, books that will just gather dust on a shelf somewhere? Do you know that these people all hate each other? They all pretend to be open-minded but can't begin to entertain an opinion they don't already hold themselves. Who's gonna pay for this? Are you sure you want to invest that much of yourself in something that isn't likely to get you anywhere?"

- Me (decisively, because of those 4 years in finance): "Yep. I spent two years thinking about this and have decided that I want to die happy."

[Bonkers]

While doing field work at a transition home for drug addicts and schizophrenics/drug addicts during my undergrad years ago:

Visitor (the mother of one of the residents): "What do you do?"

Me: "I am in sociology."

Visitor: "Well, don't go off thinking you're god. These are people!"

Me: "I don't think I'm god."

Visitor: "The nerve of some of you people! Just remember that these are human lives you are dealing with!"

Me: "Yes."

Visitor: "Damn social workers!"

Me: "Wait, what? No, I am not a social worker. I am in sociology."

Visitor: "What?"

For about three months my door man was convinced that his girlfriend and I were in the same program. I often asked, "she is in sociology? as in... sociology? you sure?" And he would respond, "yes, yes, she is in your year." Finally, I met her. Nope. She is in social work.

[Jewel]

While doing field work at a transition home for drug addicts and schizophrenics/drug addicts during my undergrad years ago:

Visitor (the mother of one of the residents): "What do you do?"

Me: "I am in sociology."

Visitor: "Well, don't go off thinking you're god. These are people!"

Me: "I don't think I'm god."

Visitor: "The nerve of some of you people! Just remember that these are human lives you are dealing with!"

Me: "Yes."

Visitor: "Damn social workers!"

Me: "Wait, what? No, I am not a social worker. I am in sociology."

Visitor: "What?"

For about three months my door man was convinced that his girlfriend and I were in the same program. I often asked, "she is in sociology? as in... sociology? you sure?" And he would respond, "yes, yes, she is in your year." Finally, I met her. Nope. She is in social work.

Same story here. I got an undergrad in Soc and wanted to see if getting a terminal MA would help me in terms of my career in public policy. (And as you know, finding a working sociologist with only an MA is near impossible.) My best friend knew just the person I should talk to. After trying to coordinate schedules through my friend for weeks, I finally met this person ...only to find out she had a degree in Social Work. Thanks a lot, best friend.

[augustquail]

Welcome to my life.

I actually dodge the question now. I tell them I study philosophy, and if they press further, I tell them my interests are in technical things that they won't really care about. If they continue, I start telling them about various technical things. I avoid saying 'metaphysics' completely.

Half the time they don't press further and will either express wide-eyed amazement or say something like "well, isn't philosophy just thinking? why do you need to go to school to do that?" The latter essentially involves me agreeing and asking them technical questions. It's fun.

I'm not a Philosophy person, I'm an English person, but as we all know the humanities are so interdisciplinary now, blah blah blah. Anyway, when I hear someone say "well, English is a pretty useless major, but at least it's not as useless as philosophy" I like to invoke Foucault and ask them, "But aren't you interested in the politics of truth?" This works especially well on political science majors. Well, I don't know if it works at all, but it amuses me anyway.

Edited January 21, 2011 by augustquail

[troy.princess]

this topic made me register

random person: "so, what is it that you do?"

me: "i research consumer behavior"

person: "you basically sell stuff?"

me: "ummm... no. i study people's behavior to understand why they buy"

person: "but what is that you DO?"

me: trying to explain without using any professional terms

person: "oh, now i understand! you must really like shopping!"

me:

I feel like Chandler

[polarscribe]

Person: So, what are you studying?

Me: I want to research the use of social media in environmental interpretation.

Person: *confused* Uh, you're interested in helping people who don't understand English understand our ecology?

Me: No, I mean, the kind of interpretation that park rangers do.

Person: *more confused* Park rangers have to speak other languages?

Me: *sigh* Sort of. We help visitors understand the natural/cultural history and meaning of the places they're visiting, so that they'll better appreciate the site and the need to protect it for future generations.

Person: Um, okay. *face brightens* But you're like those park rangers on TV. Do you carry a gun? You get to shoot M-16s, right?

Me: *facepalm*

Edited January 24, 2011 by polarscribe

[jmoney123]

I just tell people that I'm a graduate student and leave it at that. It's just too difficult to explain why I left a 6-figure career to go back to school.

Absolutely. Leaving Software Engineering to study politics is a can of worms I just try not to open with most people.

[snes]

me: musicology

them: "what instrument do you play?"

every time. NO REALLY, EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Since I play an instrument, sometimes I'll say that, thinking they might be satisfied.

me: "clarinet, piano..."

them: "so will you join an orchestra?"

Now we're totally off track, so I try to rein it in.

me: "no, I want to study music, and become a college professor"

them: "of what?"

....

In undergrad I got a neuroscience minor, which I actually thought everyone knew about (since neuroscience is hot these days), but I was wrong.

[eat.climb.love]

I've recently switched from saying I'm planning on getting my degree in Epidemiology to saying Public Health when asked.

I now get questions about medical school and the medical field. But at least I don't get blank stares when I say "Epidemiology." Plus, I don't have to tell people again what I'm studying because they can't remember the word epidemiology. Public Health is just so much easier. And because I live in Atlanta, the next question is always, "So you want to work for the CDC?" It's a fair question, and I might work for the CDC at some point, but it's hard to make people understand that there's more to public health than just the CDC.

"Oh 'epidemiology' .... isn't that a skin-doctor? I thought you didn't want to go to med school!"

No, that's dermatology and epi is a field of public health.

"Oh I see! Good thing your boyfriend is studying ___, you won't make any money in public health."

... sigh. I feel your pain.

[kayrlis]

It's not my career, but my current job:

"I'm a Naturalist in a National Park in Indiana."

Not only does it conjure images of me running around (either nude or in a ranger uniform) in a wide-open, secluded park a la Yellowstone, but it always requires a small paragraph of explanation even for a brief encounter.