What you think the adcoms are saying about your application

[cheshirey]

"Hmm, interesting musical training, good grades in theory classes and great undergrad thesis paper...oh! and great GRE scores. Oh, but look at this GPA..."

"Yes, yes I agree...it's quite a disappointment indeed."

"But she has quite a bit of experience in the industry."

"It's not enough! To the garbage bin with it! She is a Comm student, not a music student!"

[NadaJ]

"Hmm, interesting musical training, good grades in theory classes and great undergrad thesis paper...oh! and great GRE scores. Oh, but look at this GPA..."

"Yes, yes I agree...it's quite a disappointment indeed."

"But she has quite a bit of experience in the industry."

"It's not enough! To the garbage bin with it! She is a Comm student, not a music student!"

OT--I like your signature! It reminds me of another quote I've picked up along the way: "I am not yet the author of my life, I'm still it's unenlightened protagonist. "--Unknown

[cheshirey]

OT--I like your signature! It reminds me of another quote I've picked up along the way: "I am not yet the author of my life, I'm still it's unenlightened protagonist. "--Unknown

Haha thanks, I didn't make it up, but it seems appropriate for this forum

[NUcat72]

"Wha? ... What's this obscure package sitting on my desk?"

"Oh that? I saw that as well... Some poor fool must have sent his application and design portfolio here by mistake..."

"Aww, that's too bad... those sketches weren't half bad..."

**throws package into the garbage**

"I'm pretty sure he didn't stand a chance anyways... Did you see that gpa? Chuck Norris even felt bad for that pathetic little number..."

"But I thought Chuck Norris doesn't feel anything?"

"exactly..."

**pockets application fee**

yeah... that about sums up how I feel right now...

Edited January 20, 2011 by NUcat72

[UFGator]

Praying that after seeing my cumulative GPA they will see my sterling GPA for the past 2 years.

What do I hope they are saying?

"Well, we will have to get approval for this six figure fellowship"

[HyacinthMacaw]

[After reading my SOP]: "This guy has no idea what he's talking about."

[PrettyVacant]

[After reading my SOP]: "This guy has no idea what he's talking about."

That's my worst fear, too.

[I<3DKL]

"Tries way too hard"

[NadaJ]

[After reading my SOP]: "This guy has no idea what he's talking about."

This is how I feel on bad days. On good days I think the adcomm is saying "this is exactly where we see the field headed! Call her right now!"

[fifa0001]

"Why does this kid have a 3.26 GPA and a near perfect GRE? Is he really lazy or something?"

I second that lol

[polarscribe]

*examines transcripts*

"WTF is this guy thinking, applying to my program with a GPA barely sneaking in over 3.0."

*reads SOP*

"So his undergraduate degree is in journalism. He has precisely zero academic background and a sum total of six months experience as an intern in this field. He'll need two years worth of remedial undergraduate classes just to catch up."

*looks at ETS papers*

"Oh, he got 800 verbal on the GRE? Must have cheated. Reject."

Edited January 21, 2011 by polarscribe

[Jdealla]

[After reading my SOP]: "This guy has no idea what he's talking about."

Perfect

[MoJingly]

Wait. What? Wrong.

[balderdash]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rh6qqsmxNs. Edited January 21, 2011 by balderdash

[jaxzwolf]

*examines transcript*

"Not bad."

*looks at CV*

"Decent amount of experience."

*reading SOP*

"Hmm, let's take a look at these research ideas. Already being studied, already being studied, way off-base, logistically impossible, and, let's see, impossible to get permitting for this last one. Huh... I was really looking for a student with a better grasp on reality." *trash*

[jprufrock]

"It's good, but is it good enough?"

[snes]

"Do we really want an Italian-American from New Jersey?"

[was1984]

I'll give it a whirl:

"Well, his statement of purpose was interesting until he suggested that completely obvious project idea. If that's the best he can come up with, he clearly isn't XXX material." (Since submitting my applications I've thought of numerous far more interesting ideas, of course.)

"No publications submitted? What the heck has this guy been doing for the past two years?" (I'm the only one in my advisor's lab right now, so my only publication will be my own original work, which should be submitted in the next few weeks.)

"Wow, what happened to this guy his senior year of college? Sure, he has a 4.0 in his M.S. program, but look at his undergraduate grades!"

Positive things they might say (in my subfield, at least):

"Well, we do need another diversity candidate." (I'm a white male.)

"Maybe we should accept one or two domestic students this year."

Edited January 25, 2011 by was1984

[adstatus]

"A Bachelor's and two Master's from the SAME university? Twenty years of industry experience? How f***ing old IS this guy? PASS

[space-cat]

Thank you all for cracking me up!

On a bad day: "How cute! Someone taught their labradoodle to use our application system!"

On a less bad day: "Did she really just name check Kant in her SOP? -5."

On a more reasonable day: "Well, she's not the flashiest applicant...but her work is solid, interesting, and easy to fund, she'll get through the program on time, and she won't embarrass us at a national conference. We could use more people like that."

[barricades]

"So... what is his focus? And can he live and work anywhere longer than 6 months/1 year?"

[HyacinthMacaw]

[Hanging up the phone after my phone interview]: "You know the feeling you might get before a first date, and you're all excited and amped up with giddy anticipation, and you're certain this has got to be the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, and then you meet this person and you're like, 'Is this all you've got?'"

"You mean, you're feeling totally deflated?"

"Yeah, like I'm wondering 'Why the heck was I getting all excited in the first place?'"

"Looks can be deceiving!"

"What a disappointment!"

"Makes me regret ever inviting him to interview in the first place. Leaves a terrible aftertaste. Pfft! Ack! Ugh!"

"What's the most excoriating thing we can say to him when we reject him?"

"'Find a speech therapist, boy!'"

"Or 'Your children will by pumping gas for my children.'"

"Or this: 'You'll never be worthy of life or love!'"

"I love this!"

[Diabolical laughter continues]

Has anyone else felt extremely concerned that they built up adcoms' expectations, only to disappoint adcoms during interviews?

[Sheepi]

"You have a 4.0, but your GRE scores are not very good.."

Oh, wait, they actually called me to say that. =_=

[emmm]

...and then what did they say?

[gradgirlwannabe]

I fear adcomms are looking at my application and saying "ok, good grades, good undergrad institution, good LORs ... wait, what the hell is this SOP? Does she honestly think anyone would be interested in this research? This is ridiculously obvious!!! BORING!!!!" Then they move on.

This is precisely my fear, minus the "good undgergrad institution." I'm terrified that they're looking at my application, laughing, and asking one another, "Who the f@*# does she think she is, applying to a PhD program???" I have moments during which I wonder that myself...

Good things - "highly motivated" perhaps? "writes well"?

Edited February 5, 2011 by gradgirlwannabe