LittleDarlings

Daniele yeah I have definitely thought about that. I already don't have a lot of work experience so for me that is important. Idk I mean in all honesty if I was married with kids right now or just married in general I don't know that I would even be trying to go back to grad school. If I had my pick right now I would be married and having kids but since I can't make that happen I have to put myself in positions that put me around potential dates

Daniele yeah I have definitely thought about that. I already don't have a lot of work experience so for me that is important. Idk I mean in all honesty if I was married with kids right now or just married in general I don't know that I would even be trying to go back to grad school. If I had my pick right now I would be married and having kids but since I can't make that happen I have to put myself in positions that put me around potential dates

I'm getting gift cards for all my LOR writers

I wish I would have ignored the words, and paid attention to actions first. It would have saved me a lot of trouble.  

Have you heard of Randy Pausch, a man who died of pancreatic cancer and wrote a book called The Last Lecture? It's a great little book that's very moving and inspirational. His daughter Chloe was a baby when he died and he left her a piece of advice for when she gets older and starts dating. I'm posting it here as I thought you might find it helpful in your search for a good man who will treat you right.
 
“When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.”
 
Randy Pausch

You're going for a professional degree so it's less important that you have a research match with particular faculty since you won't really be doing research anyway. You might consider talking about the internship opportunities available through the department or something like that, but even that probably isn't necessary.

If you're happy with it and love it as it is, then send it in. You'll drive yourself crazy and you may end up making your paper worse if you keep coming on here and reading up on everyone else's neuroses and concerns. Once I was satisfied with both the SOP and Personal Statement, I hit SEND and forgot about it. After I got accepted, I went back and read my essays, both of which I love (still), and I noticed some details I would've changed had I noticed them at the time. But clearly those details didn't affect my chances. If you're satisfied, that's what matters. You can only do so much. Sometimes being a perfectionist can be more harmful to the process (not to mention your peace of mind).
 
On a more practical note, is there an "Additional Statement" section for UK? You could always mention a professor there. Otherwise, if it's good to go then let it go!
 
And there's nothing worse than forcing yourself to talk about some random professor when your heart isn't in it and you know you can't say anything really substantial or meaningful that will improve your paper or express your views and goals better than you probably already have.

First, some schools DO weigh GPA more heavily (typically higher ranked schools, but not always. As a matter of fact, my top choice DOES rank gpa higher, which is one of the reasons I chose it)


Second, I never once judged anyone based on their stats. I said that programs typically are filled with dimwitted students because lots of MSW programs let in students with low gpa. (Not always a determining factor of intelligence but often is) I know several LCSW's that have said that MSW programs usually are not very academically rigourous because (and here's where I will actually get offensive because frankly, you're really starting to annoy me. You are one sore winner. You've been accepted, stop picking on me. I did nothing to you.) they let in stupid students with low gpas just because they accrued a lot of hours doing human services-related work. (This does not represent any sort of accomplishment or merit, simply that someone has hours)

Third, you're judging me and how you think I am. You do not know me. You do not know what kind of person I am. You haven't read my personal statement. Talk about pot calling the kettle black.



You should really brush up on your reading comprehension skills. It'll help you catch up with the smart students in your program. Seriously, piss off.

I understand that GPA isn't everything, but it should have the most weight. I worked more than 40 hours a week my first three years of college. Then I got diagnosed with a brain tumor, had to take a semester off, and still managed to be in the top 10% of my class. Call me judgmental, but I performed above and beyond even with a tumor that caused memory and cognitive deficits.

I am also inclined to believe that "heart and ability" are not sufficient to be an excellent social worker. I firmly believe that intellectual dexterity, integrity, and resilience are far more important personal qualities. Many become social workers because their "heart is in it" but clearly that isn't enough to avoid the pitfalls of an extremely high burnout rate.

But that's just my judgmental opinion.

Really? Ok but you're a guy (I assume, from the username) so you have forever and a day to meet someone and have kids and stuff. You have no limit on your time to reproduce or anything whereas I'm 23 almost, I have about 2 more years to meet a suitable person date them for a year and a half and get engaged, married and have my first baby. Assuming I meet the person tomorrow that still puts me at about 27 or 28 for a baby, assuming I want more than 1 kid I have about 5 years for 2 more. That is if I meet someone tomorrow which is pretty unlikely. So if I wait don't meet someone until 25 I will be 30 having my first kid my egg quality will have gone down and that's bad. I have a lot to think about! If it were up to me I would have been in a serious relationship at 21 engaged by 23 and married at 24 then I would be in grad school, married and hopefully pregnant or trying to get pregnant. I just feel like I will have so much stress off of me when I get into a good lasting relationship.

Well we all know my life desires and being 23 not knowing what to do with myself is not exciting is annoying and scary and frustrating

You mention most people you knew who got married in their early 20s ended up getting divorced and those who got married later didn't. I agree, but it's funny, I knew a lot of people who got married at like 18-19 (not early 20s) and they ALL got divorced within a few years. Not really sure why I only had friends who got married that early and not in their early 20s. Maybe it was because I was in the military when I was 18. A lot of military people tend to be somewhat traditional when it comes to family/wife/kids and whatnot. I was the opposite. I was hella immature in the military (still am) while all my friends were looking for wives. Also, I was stationed in Alabama (which was different for me because I was born and raised in Brooklyn) and a lot of people in Alabama, military or civilian, were traditional and got into serious relationships at an early age. Personally, I think getting married at 18 is insane. You're a kid. I'm 27 and I feel like a kid. Fortunately, all my really good friends are immature like me. I have a feeling I'm gonna feel out of place when I start grad school. I took a few grad classes as an undergrad and the majority of the students were around my age but married with kids and just took things too seriously. I'm going off on a tangent. I guess my point is, I want to enjoy my youth for as long as I can. I like being selfish and barely having time for anyone else. I'm young and I need to develop myself and my skills as much as I can before it's too late. You're young too (the OP), so just focus on yourself and, like other people have said, you'll probably find someone when you're not even looking.

Hey, I haven't read the whole thread so I apologize if this has already been discussed, but have you tried online dating? If not, it's a great tool that many, many young professionals use (I don't think there is any stigma attached to it in 2013, I know at least 2 wonderfully happy married couples who met this way).

Why not start now, and when you get to grad school, you can focus on grad school 100% without having to worry about your social circumstances.

Were you drinking? Sounds like you came off as kinda obnoxious. I'm drinking buddies with a recently-retired professor of mine and I'm "honest" with him about a lot of things about his classes, but I feel like I have a little more common sense. First of all, you have to make sure the professors you're engaging with aren't uptight. 

Sometimes, I feel like I am the King of Foot in Mouth moments, especially around professors or people I want to impress. I think I (sub)consciously overcompensate for my inhibitions by saying inappropriately uninhibited things that aren't event totally true.... if that makes any sense.

Tonight, at a small departmental get together:

Professor / Also Dept Chair: Well it takes so long to read every word of those articles!
Me: Every word! Ha! I barely read the abstract and then skip all the numbers and charts and graphs and then just pretend I've read it when I'm in your class! I've hated all the readings! ha ha ha!
Professor: 
Me: 
 
 
I suffer from things like this all. the. time. I'm usually able to shrug and laugh it off, but sometimes I can't believe the things I hear myself say.
 
Anyone have similar experiences? What have been some of the best/worst/funniest? How have you recovered, if at all?
 

You don't have to be in a rush looking for your partner. If you're desperately looking for that "someone", someday you might just realize that you did not enjoy your life at all. They key is "happiness". Marriage is not a game you can just easily quit if you like. You need to build a strong foundation for your marriage to be a lasting one. Sadly, couples are more inclined to quit a marriage when problems arise rather than learning how to cope with them and solve them together. Divorce rates are rising, but despite the percentages, there are still some couples who are committed to one another and to making a marriage last.

It does make sense. I think more than anything I am afraid it won't happen.  I didn't meet anyone in grad school the 2 important relationships I had both lasted 3 months each (how could they have been important then? lol) and they didn't end because of what I did.  The first ended because he took a job and "didn't want a long distance relationship" which it wasn't long distance at all. The other ended because he just decided he didn't want a girlfriend anymore.  So it is like ok I don't have a ton of time to meet someone because say I meet the perfect person again and they dump me again? I just worry that it won't happen and I want a family so much so it is hard.  Even though my focus should be on my program and I do feel passionately about my program and I am so excited to start this process but it still worries me. 

Really? Ok but you're a guy (I assume, from the username) so you have forever and a day to meet someone and have kids and stuff. You have no limit on your time to reproduce or anything whereas I'm 23 almost, I have about 2 more years to meet a suitable person date them for a year and a half and get engaged, married and have my first baby. Assuming I meet the person tomorrow that still puts me at about 27 or 28 for a baby, assuming I want more than 1 kid I have about 5 years for 2 more. That is if I meet someone tomorrow which is pretty unlikely. So if I wait don't meet someone until 25 I will be 30 having my first kid my egg quality will have gone down and that's bad. I have a lot to think about! If it were up to me I would have been in a serious relationship at 21 engaged by 23 and married at 24 then I would be in grad school, married and hopefully pregnant or trying to get pregnant. I just feel like I will have so much stress off of me when I get into a good lasting relationship.

If you have to ask such a question. You're probably not ready fro grad school. Sorry.

My recommendations came from 2 professors and a former internship supervisor.  I personally would ask them early, I got 2 of my applications in today I am all about doing things early or somewhat early I guess.  If you have deadlines in March start now because the personal essay will take the longest and you never know how long you will have to wait on recommendations, I had to send out about 3 emails to one professor because he was just taking so long.  Good luck!

Is Pitt ghetto?
I have heard a lot of people tell me it is rough, I am applying to the University of Pitt and I know the program is great but I don't want to live in the ghetto and potentially be robbed or murdered

I think you realize the point of the "desperately seeking perfection" photo, but are skirting around the true meaning... Don't desperately seek someone; it is incredibly likely you'll be eternally disappointed. I swear guys can smell desperation, and then they run. After my last boyfriend dumped me, I spent about a year trying to fill what I felt was a void. Then I realized I could have lots of fun with just my regular friends doing other things, and I stopped trying to find someone to date so I could focus on my career. Then it was like my boyfriend and a couple of other prospects just appeared. 

Earlier Joeyboy said exactly what I was trying to get you to wrap your mind around with my previous post. Grad school really is about working just yourself. Once you can do that, I think you'll look back at this and think it was silly. You're trying to rush into precisely the things in life that require the maximum patience and time that you can give. You can't rush how someone feels for you and you can't rush your life or you'll end up absolutely miserable. I've been with my boyfriend for three years, and we're not talking marriage, yet. He wants to give me the time to work on becoming the best I can be in graduate school, and get to a point where maybe I can pause for a breath to settle down; he is waiting for me. Is there a chance we'll not work out? Yes, a slim one, but it is a big deal right there that he didn't rush me into marriage. He understands that I need to do this, and that graduate school, though sometimes a little selfish, is about me. Yes, some students in my program are married or engaged, and they're struggling to find time for their spouse (sometimes kids). Those of us that are doing well aren't tied down.

I really think you need to go into your grad program with the expectation of spending two years to work on everything about you. I would probably even suspend the online dating profile. Graduate with a degree in a field that you love, and then maybe move to a new town. Don't force dating, but hang out a local watering holes after work or go fun outdoorsy places. You'll meet someone.

Is Pitt ghetto?
I have heard a lot of people tell me it is rough, I am applying to the University of Pitt and I know the program is great but I don't want to live in the ghetto and potentially be robbed or murdered

My recommendations came from 2 professors and a former internship supervisor.  I personally would ask them early, I got 2 of my applications in today I am all about doing things early or somewhat early I guess.  If you have deadlines in March start now because the personal essay will take the longest and you never know how long you will have to wait on recommendations, I had to send out about 3 emails to one professor because he was just taking so long.  Good luck!

I think you are very young and shouldn't be in a panic to find a husband. Its great that you know what you want and are honest with yourself about that. But you do have a good few years within which to meet someone.
 
You really can't predict the future, so while it is possible you may meet someone when you move you move for gradschool, you may not. You will have less time for socializing and that is factor. but then again at your age there are plenty of available potential partners on campus, so who knows.
 
My sister when she was 27, got asked by her company to go work for a year in a middle eastern country. They were offering her big money to go, but she was reluctant b/c mainly she wanted to meet someone and get married and didnt want to arrive home at age 28/29 still single. I said to her, sure you could meet someone there'. she said i highly doubt it, there is too much of a culture difference.I remember saying to her, there is no guarentee you will meet someone if you stay at home, reading books on how to trap a man. Anyway she decided to go, for money and career and reasons. And guess what she met a lovely man, got married and now has two adorable kids. Her husband is a really lovely guy and is mad about her. and my sister also had bad luck with men, ie dated losers who treated her badly.
 
so my advice is go to grad school, it doesnt rule out you chances of meeting someone and you will get  qualifications for career you love, if and its only an if, you dont meet someone you will be 24 with a great career and plenty of time to meet someone special.
 
But remember marry in haste, repent in leisure. If you want the dream of happy family life, dont jump at first availbale man- I know far too many people who made that mistake and now are miserable or divorced or very unhappy.