far_to_go

I updated my school after I started my program. I did post my plans to attend my current institution sometime in March/April, around the time I accepted the offer. In general, I tried to keep the details of my app season off Facebook. I didn't want to announce every little thing to the world. In fact, I think that March/April status update was the first official mention of PhD applications that I made on FB.

I didn't get any copies bound- it wasn't a requirement at the university where I did my MA. When I finish my PhD dissertation, I'll probably get one bound for myself and one for the department, since they keep a whole bookshelf full of them. I doubt I'd get one bound for my chair, though.

At my university, I believe the policy is that we're not supposed to work side jobs. I know a few people who do (tutoring, restaurant service), but the admins don't seem to mind. I was thinking about taking a side job as an adjunct instructor in another city for next year. I talked with my DGS about it, and she recommended that I not do it because of the heavy time commitment of commuting and teaching my own courses on top of all the stuff I have to do for my home university. I decided to take her advice and skip the adjunct job. Interestingly, she never brought up the issue of "you're not supposed to work a side job as per your contract"- before I read through this thread, it hadn't crossed my mind either. Apparently my department is really laid-back about this. FWIW, I'm glad I decided not to take a side job, at least for now. I'm fully funded through the next year, so it was never about the money for me; I just wanted to get more teaching experience. But since I'm already getting the opportunity to TA at my home institution, it makes a lot more sense for me to focus on coursework, exams, and just having some semblance of a life.

One of my super-easy, cheap, fast, healthy dinner staples: lima beans. I always have a few bags of lima beans in my freezer (they cost about $1 each). I just boil them til they're nice and tender and season them with a little butter or olive oil and salt. Very filling, with lots of protein and fiber. There's a bagel shop right near my building on campus that's really delicious and cheap, so I go there for lunch several times a week. I usually get some sort of bagel sandwich with a combination of veggies/tofu/cheese/egg, whatever I'm in the mood for. The bagel sandwiches tend to run about $3-$4, and they're totally worth it. The place has good soups and salads too. I usually have cereal or toast in the mornings, and always take a banana/apple/granola bar in my school bag for a quick snack.

I think it would be appropriate to get him a card and write something along the lines of "I really appreciate all the help you've given me so far, and I'm looking forward to working with you in the future." As long as you don't get too effusive - "OMG, you're the best, smartest, most wonderful person ever" - I don't think it will be perceived as sucking up.

Spinrah- when you get to grad school, you'll likely find that a huge percentage of daily conversation- even the "chit chat" stuff- will likely revolve around grad school in some way. That's how it is in my program, anyway. It's just the nature of the beast. But by all means, feel free to start non-school-related topics. For myself, I'm planning to watch "The Shape of Things" on Netflix as soon as I finish this paper for econ anthro- whoops, it slipped out!

During my last few months on the job (and I worked right up until 2 weeks before my program started), I also found it a bit difficult to keep my motivation up. One way I dealt with it was by giving myself little things to look forward to: scheduled dinners with friends, weekend trips, etc. That helped me to focus on the present and take one day at a time, and was also a nice way for me to say goodbye to a lot of friends in the area where I was living before I moved across the country to start school. I was working at a tutoring job, and I had a lot of conversations with students about what going to grad school means, what anthropology (my field) is about, and so forth. In that way, I was expanding my students' horizons a little bit and also keeping my own enthusiasm up. I also did as much as possible to eliminate BS meetings and administrative stuff; this got worse toward the end, when my attitude was becoming more and more one of "what are you going to do? fire me? I'm leaving in 3 weeks anyway, and I know you haven't hired a replacement." I tried not to be too much of a b*tch, and didn't do anything that would have created real problems for my fellow co-workers, but at the same time, I genuinely did not care about the BS and was done with trying to hide it. Leaving work for the last time was a great feeling. Feel free to go ahead and start counting down, stell4. Best of luck to you!

In the time between now and when your TA assignment starts, do what you can (within reason) to prepare yourself. Start reading up on the material you'll be teaching, start corresponding/talking wth the prof you'll be working with. Take any opportunities that come your way to do a little bit of public speaking and/or leading groups of people in conversations. Baby steps. Also, it may help to remind yourself that you are not going to ruin anyone's educational experience. The worst that can happen is that you might bore some people. If you set your standards of self-expectation low, it'll be easier for you to achieve those standards and beyond. Low expectations are better than crippingly, panic-inducingly high ones. Best of luck!

littlebird: my two cents? Go with the state school. You may have already made your decision, but it sounded (from your description) like the only factor in favor of the Ivy was that it's an Ivy; in every other way (again, judging just from what you said), the state school sounds like a better choice. Good luck in whatever you do!

NO WHITE SOCKS. EVER. This is a strange pet peeve of mine, but I always feel that an otherwise perfectly professional or casual look is completely ruined if I can see even half an inch of white sock. Just don't do it. I tend to dress more formally during the first several weeks of the semester (black pants with button-up shirts, professional-looking skirts + dresses), and then introduce more casual outfits from there on in (jeans, the occasional sundress with cardigan, etc). I see my students three days a week, so I also try to avoid wearing the same outfit twice within a 2-3 week span of time. Variety is the spice of life.

A note on using voice recorders: MAKE SURE YOU ASK THE PROFESSOR'S PERMISSION BEFORE RECORDING, Even if you're only doing it for your own personal use, it's important to ask first. Apparently, recording without asking can be some kind of violation of intellectual property rights. One of the profs in my department got very upset when she found out that a grad student was doing this and threatened to have the student expelled (not kidding, wish I were!) As for the notebook question: yes, I use a notebook. I only use one, with different sections, for all my courses and meetings; I find that it's much easier than carrying a bunch of different notebooks. Having my laptop open in class usually creates too much distraction for me, so I try to avoid it.

Best of luck to you, foglemgs! I'll echo badgers154's advice- I think you should hang tough. Also, think about whether this school is one that you really want to go to if you do get in off the wait list. Is it one that you added to your app list just as a safety school, or would you be happy and excited to go there if admitted? If you do really want to go to this school, and you do decide to contact them (which I don't recommend), try to project confidence rather than desperation. I'd write something along the lines of "I haven't accepted any offers from other schools yet because your program is currently at the top of my list" rather than "I haven't gotten in anywhere else, give me a break!" They don't need to know that you haven't gotten any other offers. I only got into one school out of seven, but because they thought I was likely to get good offers from other places, they actually increased their initial stipend offer by an extra 10k per year... I never told them that they were in a bidding war only with themselves :-) Hope you get in! Only a few more weeks to wait!

Eek! Sounds like purgatory! I would say that you're probably on a waitlist, since you haven't received a straight-up rejection. But if you have other schools that have made you offers, sounds like you might want to plan in that direction.

To Rockhopper's question about dating outside of your department: In my experience, it is easiest to form social relationships/friendships within your own department, just because it's a matter of convenience. If you don't want to date within your own department (and I recommend avoiding it if you can... lots of people do it, of course, but it is risky...) you should be intentional about building your social network outside of your department. In my case, I've always lived with roommates who are outside of my department, and I'm involved in a political activism group that includes a wide cross-section of people. One my friends met her current boyfriend by taking a course that was cross-listed between a few different departments; although tmeeting somebody wasn't her main goal for taking the class, it was a nice side benefit! Also, there's always OKCupid- a lot of people I know use that site. Good luck to you!

I had (well, still have, though I've paid some of it off) about 15k in loans from my MA. It's deferred right now, and it's not accumulating interest, since it's a subsidized federal loan. I'm saving up some of my stipend each month, and hopefully will be able to put that twwards the loans once I start paying them again; I'd rather save it up now and then use it to pay the loans later (or other emergency expenses if they come up). STM Philosophy, you should be able to defer your loans once you're enrolled- it's pretty standard. A word of advice though: try to pay off as much of it as you can before you start your grad program. It WILL be hard to make payments and/or save money once you're living on a grad student stipend.

My friends have been telling me to read the Game of Thrones series and the Hunger Games series... so I'll probably succumb to temptation at some point. The last novel I read purely for my own interest was Lolita, but that was back in January. Alas, I just don't have much time for pleasure-reading during the semester. Summer is coming...

A stipend can be used for anything- most people end up using the bulk of their stipends to cover basic living expenses.

Definitely keep them updated and thank them for their work on your behalf. I'd say that, unless you are already in frequent contact, it's not necessary to let them know after every acceptance/rejection rolls in. But once you've made your decision, send a note telling them where you got accepted, where you're going, and thanking them profusely. I think that hand-written notes are nice for thank-yous like this, since e-mail is so mundane.

I've found that getting roommates can be a bit of a crapshoot- I've had a few random-stranger situations that turned out great, a couple of you-think-you-know-a-person situations that didn't turn out so great, and a few in between. In my department, returning students often regard incoming students as a pool of prospective roommates and will send e-mails to new students with housing offers. You might take the opposite approach and e-mail students you know who are already in the program to ask if they or anyone they know are looking for a roommate. There are pros and cons to living with somebody in the same program, but for most people it seems to work out well as long as their preferences and habits aren't too divergent (regarding noise, cleanliness, etc). Do, of course, make every effort to interview/meet in person every prospective roommate. Don't be shy about asking for references from previous roommates/landlords.

wheninhell, since you mentioned legal anthro: I'm in a legal anthro seminar this semester, and here's our reading list: - Sally Engle Merry. 1990. Getting Justice and Getting Even: Legal consciousness among working-class Americans. - Lawrence Rosen. 2008. Law as Culture: An Invitation. - Susan Hirsch. 1998. Pronouncing and Persevering: Gender and the discourses of disputing in an African Islamic court. - Michelle Alexander. 2010. The New Jim Crow: Mass incarceration in the age of colorblindness. - Mark West. 2005. Law in Everyday Japan: Sex, Sumo, Suicide, and Statutes. - Sally Engle Merry. 2006. Human Rights and Gender Violence: Translating international law into local justice. - Nicholas Dirks. 2001. Castes of Mind: Colonialism and the making of modern India. - Michael Brown. 2004. Who Owns Native Culture? - Michael Herzfeld. 1993. The Social Production of Indifference: Exploring the symbolic roots of Western bureaucracy. - Annelise Riles. 2011. Collateral Knowledge: Legal reasoning in the global financial markets. - Kamari Clarke. 2009. Fictions of Justice: The International Criminal Court and the Challenge of Legal Pluralism in Sub-Saharan Africa. - Ugo Mattei and Laura Nader. 2008. Plunder: When the rule of law is illegal. I listed them in the order that we're reading them. Hope you find something interesting/helpful for you! Best of luck.

Not going to lie... I read the title of this thread as being somewhat dirty... ;-) *getting my mind out of the gutter* My first semester in my PhD program, I TA'd for an Archaeology of Human Origins class. I had a little background in archaeology, but had avoided it as much as possible. Several of my students were Arch majors and knew much more than I did. It was a good learning experience for me overall, but definitely awkward at times. I made sure to plan well for each discussion section so that the students would spend a lot of time talking and interacting with each other about the material; at our school, that's what TA sessions are supposed to be about anyway, rather than the TA lecturing.

My standard advice: read some of the books/articles recently published by professors in the department. This will give you a head start on knowing what your professors think, what areas of research/theory they consider important, etc. I did this the summer before I started my PhD program, and it really helped.

Not quite what you're asking for, but my standard advice to people who are looking for reading recs as they prepare to start school is to read at least a few books/articles written by your future profs. You will start to get a feel for how they write, how they think, and what they think are the important topics and debates in anthropology. Best of luck to you!

To the OP: since you (and presumably your advisor) are in the field of psychology, you should be aware of the literature on dual relationships and their potential negative consequences. See, for instance, this article titled "Avoiding Exploitive Dual Relationships": http://kspope.com/dual/gottlieb.php. Frankly, the fact that your advisor knowingly asked you to enter a romantic relationship that will inevitably complicate and endanger your professional relationship sends up all kinds of red flags. I strongly doubt the professional and the personal integrity of your advisor. Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

I'm supposed to be reading Marx's Capital- the whole thing is required reading for my Econ Anthro class. Urrrg.