harrisonfjord

This is what I do, and yes, it does make people more uncomfortable than they made me.

I used to deal with this a lot and I couldn't call people out on it because it was work. I mostly dealt with it by making sure to never give them an excuse again by being good at my job and adopting a professional mask that didn't invite backtalk. I would make sure not to respond in the heat of the moment, and have a coworker who got the same treatment read my responses before I sent them.
 
About a week before I left that job, I finally talked back to someone. I was filling in for my coworker and sent their PI some extra materials I knew they would need in response to a request, and this person totally flew off the handle and got personally insulted. You could tell from her signature that she was basically emailing me on her iPhone from a meeting like an infant. This person was basically implying that a very 101-level IRB task that had been one of my minor responsibilities for years was over my head and only my coworker would understand it. Finally I wrote back and said I couldn't continue to help her if she was going to be rude. My coworker was going to be back soon and I was going to be gone soon, so I made an Outlook rule to file all her future emails without reading them so I could focus on my real work.
 
It was great! The email previews I'd still get suggest this person didn't learn her lesson (she thought she "hurt [my] feelings"), but I hope I'd do the same thing again. I don't consider that response overly harsh and not seeing her responses for a while helped me stop dwelling on the insult and focus on more deserving people.

A friend of mine just simply looks at people with no expression on her face and says nothing when she receives unwarranted, rude, or passive-aggressive comments. It makes them even more uncomfortable than they made her. I think it's pretty funny and effective.
 
Me, I'm more likely to brush it off, and then wish I hasn't. It depends on who it is talking to me...if I need them to do something for me, I play nice. However I agree with the above poster that saying something can definitely be worth it.

There was a girl in my master's program who didn't outright insult my intelligence, but would reply to my comments/arguments in class with this very dismissive, condescending tone--from the way she spoke, it was obvious to myself and some of my peers that she thought what I had to say was either irrelevant or stupid. It really good under my skin and made me feel defensive when I would speak out in seminar--I noticed that I would start to qualify thinks that I said (i.e.: "of course, this isn't always the case" or "generally speaking" or "from my experience") and use a lot more filler ("um", "like", etc.) as well as overstate my points, repeating myself unnecessarily. Needless to say, it made me seem a lot less confident and nervous, when really I'm exactly the opposite--I am very self-assured and articulate. 
 
The problem was quickly resolved with one off-handed comment I made during our shared seminar--after she'd used the tone, I replied and said "I can't tell if you're mocking me or you disagree with what I'm saying or both" and she quickly apologized and even came up to me after class, saying that she had no idea she'd been rude in her responses. A slightly tense moment in class was worth the resolution that came about. 

Have you heard of the term "smart casual"? It's pretty much looking put together and still being able to wear jeans (not baggy). I'd recommend maybe some flats or boots and avoid tennis shoes. If you have an important meeting or if you're teaching then business casual would probably be a better option.
 
Just make sure to look clean and look like you care and appreciate the place where you are at. I'm sure you'll also be able to get an idea of how to dress when you see the professors and the other grad students.

I teach and I look young. So I tend to dress up a little more than my classmates. Most of my classmates (both females and males) tend to wear jeans to class. Nothing too formal. I like to follow the above advice and dress up just a bit more in case I run into someone important. It doesn't have to be dressed up but I own some business-y dresses and about 3 pairs of black pants. I am a HUGE fan of Express' Portofino shirts because you can wear them with skirts, pants or jeans, throw on a pair of flats and look pulled together. Plus Express always has sales and coupons.
 
Yoga pants are a definite no no where I am. The undergraduates there dress VERY casually because it's really warm and sunny most of the time. It's not uncommon for you to see undergrad girls show up to class with bandeaus, yoga pants, short shorts, etc. but I would strongly suggest against that in graduate school. You want to be taken seriously and as a female, I want to be known for my work and professionalism, not what I wear to class.
 
That said, if I know I'm not presenting and it is finals week, I will wear a tunic and some leggings, a nice top and dark wash jeans or something comfortable like that if I am taking exams all day.
 
It's not vastly different from undergrad, but I highly suggest in investing in a few good pairs of well fitting dress pants, at least one business-y dress, a pencil skirt and a few dressier tops. It helps a lot. 

If the relationship is just starting out, start with baby steps. See if you can commit to a weekly Skype date before you even CONSIDER dropping out of grad school for this person! And, well, based on personal experience, I wouldn't move for a relationship unless you both have something in the destination (that goes for him, too). 

Frankly, I'm going to go against the majority here and advise that you don't make any major decisions related to your education based on this relationship, at least this early on. As a former Fulbrighter, I can tell you that a Fulbright year is a long time and a long distance, and it is possible that your relationship won't survive it. I'd take baby steps and see how this new relationship survives long distance before considering changing my educational plans based on it. I know there's no magic time cutoff in a relationship when you're supposed to start compromising on location and job plans, but for me personally, that time wouldn't come unless we'd been together in a solid relationship for at least two years.
 
As someone who's moved overseas three times and moved for university twice, each time leaving behind a potentially great partner, I haven't regretted my decision to focus on my education and goals rather than compromising to be with this person, and if you should choose to do the same, please don't feel guilty about it. I wish you the best of luck with your decision, because I know from experience that it's a hard one. Best wishes!

I only want A's.

I don't mean any disrespect on this thread and I realize that professors are busy people, but if they agree to write one for you and then later don't, it's flat out wrong. They know the admissions requirements for graduate school. If I have followed respectful protocol and given them the materials and time to write the letter, then I would hope they would at least in return respect me enough to write the letter. Besides, for my LORs I was either a RA or a TA for those professors (mostly volunteer, unpaid) and I clearly did put in the time to assist them to the best of my ability.

Hi there, I'm also interested in HF and I am currently working on a master's in a related field, hoping to apply to PhD programs. From what I've heard (at least from the schools I am interested in) its your GRE score they use to determine what order they look at your application. Then from there, they choose their pool. Obviously, the higher the better in that case, but unfortunately like you said, most programs do not publish this info online. There is however an APA book that gets published every year with approximate rankings: http://www.apa.org/pubs/books/4270097.aspx. Most university libraries have access to at least one edition. This is how I have been gauging myself based on the programs I am interested in. I am really hoping to get into UCF's HF program but we will see. One step at a time, need to finish my master's first. 
 
Sounds like you are doing a great job so far! I have also been immersing myself in research and I'm hoping my thesis will help out with that as well. I applied to a couple of HF related internships and I am currently out of state doing a research internship this summer.
 
I am also learning how to code, just baby steps for now. I've actually heard this is a pretty valuable skill set that HF programs like to see, but that is only through fellow graduate student friends, so taking that with a grain of salt. Just thought I would say hi! 

It's BOSNIA-Herzegovina. And what makes Cote d'Ivoire a "lame" country, exactly?

All host countries/cities are ripped off. This is actually one of my research areas so I'm quite familiar with it. To get you started, here are a few links:
 
http://www.npr.org/blogs/parallels/2014/02/03/270950685/did-london-get-an-economic-boost-from-the-2012-olympics
http://www.opb.org/news/article/npr-the-games-are-a-great-party-but-not-a-great-investment/
http://news.yahoo.com/brazils-wcup-anger-over-waste-poor-planning-143713966--spt.html
http://www.maskmagazine.com/the-post-friendship-issue/struggle/brazils-fight-against-the-world-cup-continues
 
There's actually entire books on this topic. For the Olympics, the general consensus is that the host city may improve its name recognition (Atlanta/Salt Lake City) but that broader economic benefits from hosting are nearly impossible to realize. The facilities have ongoing maintenance expenses to be borne by the host city for years/decades into the future (note that the last Summer Games with a really good facility reuse plan was Atlanta). In Athens, facilities built for the 2004 Olympics are literally falling apart 10 years later. Taxpayers are typically the ones paying (Sochi had lots of corruption but also lots of private investment, making it atypical in that regard).
 
Note that these don't even touch on the environmental issues. Here's one on the environment: http://www.thenation.com/blog/179389/brazils-world-cup-will-kick-environment-teeth
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/19/world/americas/memo-to-olympic-sailors-in-rio-dont-touch-the-water.html?emc=edit_th_20140519&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=23470553
 
I actually spent several weeks covering these topics in my spring course. We had a lot of fun. But, hosting these events is generally a bad idea economically. In Soccernomics, they make the argument that hosting makes people happier, which is harder to measure but for which there is some evidence. Some places are recognizing that this is a bad investment, with two cities cancelling their bids for the 2022 Winter Olympics (which is fairly historic and HUGE news): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2022_Winter_Olympics#Cancelled_bids. In Krakow's case, it's because they didn't get the benefits that people talk about after co-hosting the European soccer (football) championships a few years ago. In Stockholm, the citizens voted against going forward with their bid.

spectastic, I think you should know what you are talking about before commenting. You are perfectly fitting the ignorant American stereotype right now. 

some of us have different definitions for "emergencies" I thought you meant crashing a car into a curb and needing a whole new suspension, in which case emergency fund makes sense. batteries need to be replaced about once every blue moon, spark plugs cost ilke $20. most other car problems are due to negligence more than anything else. But I agree having a backup is a good idea. that's partially why I want a motorcycle, so that if one doesn't work, the other one can take its place.

I've been driving used pieces of crap since I was in high school. I buy them for like $500 from some old lady, put about $700 into it, then minor maintenance here and there, and they've lasted me forever. If you check on your tires, make sure they're not showing threads, and keep them inflated, you shouldn't have any unexpected blow outs. And, like you said, other things like replacing a light or a fuse cost a few bucks. You don't need $300 a month for "just in case." 

I bought my car in a private sale from someone that sold cars for a dealership. The car had always been maintained at the dealership and came with a full set of maintenance records, which was nice. I bought it with part of a subsidized student loan. When I bought it, the car was 5.5 years old and had 53K miles on it. I still have the car now, more than 6 years later and it's been a great car. My insurance is low because it's bundled with some other stuff and due to a good student discount. Now that my car is older, I don't have comprehensive coverage on it, which also lowers insurance. Average annual maintenance costs have varied because I tend to do long cross-country road trips but not much everyday driving. Consequently, I end up getting some sort of large preventative thing done nearly every summer (one year was the timing belt and water pump, another was new tires, another was new belts and hoses plus some other stuff), but I'd say that I spend only a few hundred a year outside of these major things.
 
As for the tire blowouts above, my friend and I went on a road trip a few months ago and experienced one. He hit a pothole in the road or something and it blew out the tire in a way that wasn't even repairable. It was his car, not mine, and he ended up having to buy a new tire. Luckily, there was a tire shop within 3 blocks of where this happened, so we put the spare on, went there, then waited about an hour (they inspected the old tire first before my friend picked out the new one and they installed it). This car, including the tires, was inspected before we went on the trip. While on this trip, I met with another friend for a smoothie. Friend 2 had put four new tires on his car to meet inspection, drove out of town to see his girlfriend, and hit a rough patch of road at night. Friend 2's car ended up with two blown tires. So, he literally put 6 new tires on his car in a month. Blowouts can and do happen even if you inspect the tread and keep your tires inflated so I'm not sure why people are suggesting otherwise above.

Don't be intentionally difficult. Car parts fail or need to be replaced all the time. New cars come with a warranty, but, since most of us are going to be in school for years, it makes perfect sense to have an emergency fund for car repairs, tire replacements, ect.

I am still in my PhD program so I don't know how helpful I could be, but one thing that I wanted to say is to try to work through your network and see if you know ANYONE at the places you are applying to work for. Knowing someone can be very helpful in at least making sure someone sees your application. 

I don't mean any disrespect on this thread and I realize that professors are busy people, but if they agree to write one for you and then later don't, it's flat out wrong. They know the admissions requirements for graduate school. If I have followed respectful protocol and given them the materials and time to write the letter, then I would hope they would at least in return respect me enough to write the letter. Besides, for my LORs I was either a RA or a TA for those professors (mostly volunteer, unpaid) and I clearly did put in the time to assist them to the best of my ability.

Yeah, I would wholeheartedly disagree with being nice on grading.
 
I've stopped feeling bad about poor grades. It was extremely difficult for me as a 4.0 student to understand that some of my students were perfectly happy with a C in the class. It's a tough pill to swallow when they just don't care that much. However, I make sure to take the time out to explain to students the differences between A, B, C, and D work so that they can choose for themselves how much effort they want to put in. I teach public speaking, so it's fairly cut and dry, but I am able to finish a vast majority of my grading the same day things are turned in. It leaves me with a lot of time to do my own work not having to worry about tracking assignments for my students. Even if you need longer than that, I do suggest blocking out a period of time to just knock it out all at once so that you can grade fairly and efficiently.
 
I do agree with geeking out a bit. You might be saddled with a horribly boring subject matter but your excitement at least makes it more bearable for the students and gets them actively involved.
 
Be self-reflexive. Mid-term evaluations are a great tool for monitoring how well you class is going. I use it to ask my students about both what is working and what is not working. I then send a lengthy email responding to it letting them know what things we can change and what things we can't. Constantly seek to improve yourself, whether you are a great teacher or not.
 
Take it seriously but don't spend all your time worrying about it. I thought about dropping out of grad school because of an A- in my second semester. I now realize how silly that is. I have one student every semester who absolutely hates my teaching style. I do my best to try and accommodate them but if my style works for 47/48 students, then I don't really worry that one person thinks I am the worst teacher they have every met and I am incompetent and don't know how to teach and that they can't believe I even got this job.
 
Lastly, ask for help when you need it. If you are entering a M.A. program, they are really just teaching you how to write at a higher level and easing you into teaching. I'm entering my Ph.D. program next year so I can't speak on that.
 
Good luck!

I agree that TAs should be nice and not overstep their "powers". But I definitely do not agree that we should be nice with grades and only give grades we would also want. Remember that TAs are graduate students who, on average, got into grad schools because they tend to do better in courses than the average undergraduate student. Therefore, it's not surprising that some of your students will do fairly poorly in certain classes and I would say that you should not be afraid to fail or give a D grade if that is indeed the quality of their work. 

This is a time management issue.  I was in a very demanding program myself - in my first two years, I had to take 4 graduate courses a semester and did 20 hours a week of research (which could easily turn into 30).  In my third year, my courses were reduced but I was also teaching.  The work didn't really slow down until halfway through my fourth year.  But I still found time to make friends and socialize - not as much as I would like to, but definitely more than zero.  I did, however, live a 10-minute walk from campus, so that changes things.

You can't spend all of your time studying.  I understand that you want to get top grades; that's important.  But you might need to start scheduling or blocking off time for studying as well as for socializing.  Sure, commuting to campus may take away 2 hours a day that you can study - but if those 2 hours for one or two extra days really makes a difference, then it could be that your courseload is too heavy or that you haven't yet learned to effectively and efficiently study your program's material (which is no judgment - it took me a while myself!)

You have to take the initiative to plan things.  If you know someone you might like to be friends with, invite them to go grab lunch or dinner when you are on campus for an hour or so.  Sure, that takes an hour away from studying - but that's important for your mental health.  You may get back home a bit later than anticipated.  If your cohort-mates are big on social media, make sure you're on their Facebook pages or whatever so you can find out about impromptu or informal events that you might want to go to.

Honestly, the way I see most of my friends these days is just chilling in their apartments or them chilling in mine.  We're all busy, and you don't have to go paint the town red in order to have a good time.  A few bottles of wine and people who like to talk can satisfy your needs.

My ideal situation would be to find other people to sit around and study with so I can get my stuff done but also not be lonely.

That's not ideal, honestly.  You do need to study, but you ALSO need non-academic normal human social interaction.  Besides, the people who I sat around and studied with were people I was already friends with, and had done friendly social stuff like after-work/class drinks.  We then jointly decided that we needed to study and that peer pressure during study time was productive.

Well, I realize that you're very busy, but getting through grad school on a schedule of all work and no play is a recipe for disaster IMO. If you're not taking time for yourself then you will easily get burned out. I'm wondering, why are you doing 30 hours a week of research on top of your classes? Are your classes not a space for you to accomplish your own research agenda?

Its obvious you have goals, and that is a good thing. But, you need to include a social life amongst those goals. A social life is something you have to work for, not something that just appears or is there when you have time for it. So in order to deal with your loneliness, I would suggest that you make some time for those people you love. In particular, make some time for your fiancé.

It may seem like you have to sacrifice everything in order to get the degree, but you really don't have to do that. Take it from a third year PhD. Things that will help you find more time for your social life include:

Not working so often.

Carving out a concrete research agenda so as to focus your work and make it more efficient and manageable.

Spending less time worrying about maintaining top grades. Its very hard to fail out of graduate school. After studying something for 5 or 6 years, you should not have to stretch yourself too much for respectable grades.

Developing more self-confidence. I find that those who work all the time are doing so because they constantly feel the need to prove that they belong in a graduate program. Working constantly will only make you less confident because everything else around you will fall to pieces.

Forcing yourself to stop working at a certain time each night so you can spend quality time with your fiance.

Making an effort to host parties for your fellow grad students. Offer booze and you'll have new friends pretty quickly.

I am not an HF grad, so I can't say I know your situation, but I am in a multidisciplinary program right now and a Human Factors PhD is my ultimate goal. I see some of the recent graduates struggling with the same problems and I am good friends with a lot of HF PhD students. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this right now. 
 
Just throwing this out there (I know it may not apply to your situation or be helpful!), there are a bunch of software programs you can learn for free like Maya (it's a free 3 year subscription for students/recent grads and you could possibly build a portfolio with some of these free trials). From my limited experience (and by consulting with other Human Factors PhD students who have the same concerns) UX employers appreciate it when you have a pretty good handle on some modeling and simulation software. A lot of my PhD friends complain that they were never told these things and only found out by searching through job postings and many unfruitful interviews.
 
Here's the link for Maya: http://www.autodesk.com/products/autodesk-maya/buy?src=OMSE&mktvar002=581403
 
As iopsych says, I would definitely look into applying with NAWCTSD. How do you feel about relocating/are you able to relocate? I attended UCF in undergrad (Orlando, FL) and there's a plethora of companies in "research park" that hire HF grads for applied research positions (Some are temporary contracts but at least your foot would be in the door!) I also suggest checking out jobs on LinkedIn if you haven't already. Most of my recently hired friends looked at the descriptions and starting learning code, software, etc. based on specific trends they were seeing in UX job postings. If they weren't able to get the jobs they want, they at least impressed some companies with their initiative and eventually got their foot in the door. 
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Florida_Research_Park#Partnerships (I know its a wikipedia page, but it lists some of the big name companies there)
 
I'm sorry if this information isn't new or wasn't helpful. I just thought I would share what I've picked up from other UX researchers. Like I said, I am not a recent grad, only a hopeful grad and this is the advice/information I have picked up through networking. I can understand how frustrating this situation would be and it is my biggest fear. If you have any questions at all about Orlando or Research Park, feel free to message me. I'm a FL native and Orlando is one of the biggest the Modeling, Simulation and Training scenes.