Hope.for.the.best

Thanks for all your responses. I think I was not clear in my previous post. I have started my postdoc not very long ago. I am still in the process of optimizing experiments. Obviously, my project direction depends on how things go. If these go well, I can get a few more papers out soon and apply for a fellowship. If not, then I need to figure out alternative approaches before I can progress. When the conference happens, I will not have much idea what my project is, other than what I have been doing to set up the project. I doubt it will be impressive to anybody I talk to. What would you think when you meet a postdoc in a conference, and yet that postdoc keeps saying "I don't quite know my project yet, as I am still optimizing my experiments"? I would expect anyone I meet in a conference can talk about their projects in some details. So I don't wish to make a fool of myself. As far as I know, there are other conferences coming up later in the year. I may be in a better position to attend those. Actually, what I meant to ask is, if you were my department head, would you be disappointed if I did not attend the conference? I know she is of good intention to ensure everybody who wants to go can go, as the registration fee is very expensive. She puts huge emphasis on team work. I have demonstrated that by working well with other colleagues. If it ended up that everyone in my department, except me, went to the conference, would I look like a bad team player? Thx!

If you have studied as much as you can, then you have done your best. Take your mind off the exam for now and do something you enjoy over the weekend. Don't forget to get enough sleep the night before the exam. Good luck!

I am now a few months into my postdoc. As I am new to the project, I don't have anything I can present in a conference yet. I just learnt that there is a big conference coming up in my city in a month time. Neither my boss nor the department head has mentioned that attendance is mandatory. I was only asked to complete some experiments so they can present some data in their plenary talks. I have done a good job and they are pleased with that. But then, a PhD student told me that they paid the registration costs for the whole department, and everyone is encouraged to attend. She said she would be going anyway to listen to talks, but without presenting. Actually, I simply don't want to go, as I feel that it is more worthwhile to work on my experiments than wasting days on a conference that I am not presenting. I am aiming to get a few more papers out asap so I can apply for fellowship. The talks of many big people will be uploaded anyway, so I can listen to them later if I wish. Regarding networking, I did get to talk to people in previous conferences, but I did not get to make any big connections. In fact, I made those connections through actual collaboration, rather than from conferences. I know I have all the reasons to not attend, but I worry that I would be perceived negatively, e.g. a poor team player. I am new to the place, and it took me a lot of fight with my PhD advisors to get here. I treasure this opportunity very much. I just don't wish to leave a bad impression, but at the same time, I don't wish to stress myself overly again because I fall behind my experiments. It may be a silly question, but is it actually okay to not attend a conference that I am not presenting, under this situation? Thx!

It is perfectly okay to have your name on a paper that you didn't write, so long as you contributed to the work. This includes proof of concept experiments and optimizations. In fact, journals nowadays ask all authors to detail their contribution to the manuscript, be it experimental design, performing experiments, data analysis and/or writing. So I don' t think that your professor compensated you because he did not get you in the paper that he planned to submit. I don't fully know your situation, but it may be that you generated data that were later used in another project. If in doubt, it is always a good idea to check with your professor, as you are expected to know any paper that have your name on it.

Time flies. Half a year has passed since I submitted my dissertation. My defence went well and I was awarded my PhD 2 months ago. As some of you may aware, I have started my postdoc with one of my advisors, *Ben. Things are going very well, although I was in a bit of tension with my other advisors, *Andy and *Cecilia, when starting this job, as I described previously. Thankfully the burnt bridge with *Cecilia and *Andy was repaired. It turned out that that tension-provoking experiment was *Andy's nasty plot to make me work unpaid for him after I submitted my dissertation, as he could not get any funding. I brought that up to *Ben when *Cecilia was upset that I did not do that experiment before starting his job. Thankfully, *Ben was receptive and resolved the situation perfectly. Now, both *Ben and *Cecilia are convinced that *Andy has been nasty to me, and it is seriously damaging our collaboration, so they asked me to draft the manuscript and submit without that experiment. I can tell *Cecilia is apologetic for the whole incident, as she has been very nice to me since then, even nicer than when I was still doing my PhD! I bumped into *Andy the other day, and he asked me how I was getting alone in a friendly way. He may still hate me from his heart, but at least he is not yelling at me anymore. It is a relief that things did not end up as badly as I expected. However, I still feel the PhD stress lingering from time to time. My project with *Ben is going very well, and I get on well with everyone in his lab, so I am quite puzzled why I still get stressed out for some trivial things. I have seen a psychologist regarding this, and she says I just need to take all my time needed to get back to that unstressed state before PhD. I am wondering, is it weird to remain in the PhD write-up state after I have been conferred my degree? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

I don't know how far along you are in your program. If you are still at very early stage, and you have tried your very best but could not work out with him, then changing advisor is probably wise. However, if you are almost to the graduation mark, then probably it is best to try not to take his criticism personally and get whatever you need from him to finish. Probably turn to your other advisor more, if he provides criticism in a more constructive way. I don't know how exactly you and other students get on with your advisor, so it is hard for me to comment whether you are overreacted or not. You are probably not though, as it is common that we view people differently. It is also common that someone we find nice and easy-going is unpleasant to others.

You mentioned that your school does not keep electronic copies, but were you asked to upload a copy for plagiarism checking? If so, then you don't need to worry, because you would have got into troubles already if what you did was problematic. If not, then it is difficult to give you good advice here, as it really depends how similar your thesis is to the previous student for the parts of concern. It is true that background information and methods are similar for projects from the same group, but there are always different ways to describe generic information like this. If you did a good paraphrase in your own words, and brought this out in a distinct way from the previous student, then it is not plagiarism even if you used the same references as him. That said, if the style and structure of your writing were very similar to him, e.g. paragraph 1 on DNA structure and paragraph 2 on NMR spectroscopy, then you run the risk of plagiarism, as no 2 people would write about DNA structure and NMR spectroscopy in exactly the same way. As @TakeruK pointed out, not referring methods to relevant published studies is another problem. The grad student from your group is so familiar with the procedures that he simply talked you through them, but this does not mean that you don't need proper references. Methods like NMR spectroscopy are usually published, e.g. in Nature Protocols, or at least described in textbooks. It is very important to describe your methods using relevant sources. Regardless of what you decide to do next, I hope that you have learnt a good lesson here. In future, allow sufficient time for your writing, as "short on time" will not get you out of troubles if you are accused of plagiarism. It may be a better idea to layout a structure for your writing, before you use others' writing as a guide. This way, you still get to include the information that you need, but in your own style and structure.

Will the courses you take cover what you need for your program? If so, then I don't see why you need to spend excessive time on preparation over the summer. I totally agree that you need a good break before you start a PhD, as it is a stressful long journey. Before I started my PhD, I actually took 2 months off. Coming out of it not long ago, my biggest advice is to treat your PhD as a marathon, rather than a 100 m race. You can cram 4 years of college into 3, but the same approach does not work for PhD. You need to take things one step at a time. It is perfectly okay that you don't know everything for your research, as you will get to learn what you need. Reading your post, my biggest concern is that you are going to push yourself too hard for PhD. In my opinion, the best preparation for your PhD is to give yourself a valuable break. You simply can't be any more productive if you are in a burnout state.

I am so sorry to hear about your mishap. You have been very brave to reach out for help. I am glad that you are working with your psychiatrist for treatments. Other than medication, I think you would benefit from counselling. Have you seen a psychologist? Many schools offer counselling services to students for free. It would be good if you can find a therapist that is specialised in trauma. You can also call some national counselling helplines that operate 24 hours. You may need to wait quite a bit before getting connected to someone, but these are helpful contacts in the middle of the nights.

That certainly doesn't sound normal, given that you are about to submit your dissertation. From your description, I do feel that your advisor somehow treats you unfairly compared to his other students, as you don't get the regular meetings and feedback as they do. However, I agree with fuzzylogician that you need to approach the situation carefully. Other than your dissertation committee, do you have other advisors? Very often, PhD students have co-advisors on top of their primary advisor. In my school, all PhD students must have at least 3 advisors. I had 4. In some situation, it is the co-advisor who offers the most help to students. That's exactly my case. My primary advisor is a selfish man who cares more getting publications (for his own sake) than my dissertation. He and my other co-advisor pushed me hard for more and more experiments, and I simply could not have time to work on my dissertation. It happened that another co-advisor, *Ben, who seemed not to care about me over the course of my PhD, stood up for me at that critical moment. Of course, that got my main advisor angry and he played nasty by deliberately delaying my submission, e.g. not reviewing my drafts in a timely manner and yelling at me when I wanted to work out a turnaround schedule. It took me a lot of effort to get my dissertation out. Those final months of my PhD were the worst time of my life. Back then, I only met *Ben once a month at most. I get on well with him, but he would not be the first person that came to my mind when I needed help. Even up to now, I still cannot believe that he was that supportive when I turned to him in desperation. So, try to reach out to your other advisors; you may be surprised! By the way, I am now working for *Ben as a postdoc. Have faith that this too shall pass. Wish you all the best! *pseudonym

You have done a great job by introducing yourself to them after the seminar. This is the very first step to network with them. I agree that the next step is to email them to catch up. Let them know that you are shiningorb who briefly talked to them after the seminar, and that you are very interested in their work. Then make a request to meet with them and discuss further. This is the key to make that lasting impression. However, I would be wary asking them about the slides over the email, because they may have unpublished data that they do not prefer to share with others. In my opinion, it is more polite to ask them in person. I would also suggest that you talk to your advisor about that, as he/she can help look into possible avenues for collaboration. If possible, get your advisor to the meeting with them. It would be easier to set up a collaboration as a team. Good luck!

Absolutely no problem. You will never get to finish a project anyway, because you can always think of future work and directions. What you could do is present whatever you have got with some justifiable conclusions, then discuss some limitations and future work.

Thanks @TakeruK and @juilletmercredi for your replies. As Andy and Cecilia run out of funding, I am the only one in the group who can do that experiment. There aren't any other PhD students, postdocs etc. Andy and Cecilia are indeed toxic people to work with. Unfortunately, I only found out towards the end of my PhD. They were not like that before they brought up that experiment. Anyway, if I told them upfront that I did not want to do that experiment unless I got paid, I would only get both of them yelling at me. It would make the situation even worse. So I could only come up with some justifiable excuses when they made me do that experiment, like "something was up in my family". That's what I meant by lying. In fact, something was indeed going on in my family, so there were some truths in my "lies". I do not intent to break my promise. I just don't want to work as a volunteer for months, as it does not look good on my CV. Obviously, Ben is unable to wait for months before I start my postdoc. Seeing that Ben and his department head are renowned researchers in my field, this is an opportunity that I can't afford to miss. Since some aspects of my postdoc project overlap with my PhD one, Ben is more than happy for me to do that experiment along with my new project. So I still keep my promise to do that experiment after I submitted my dissertation! I can see where Andy and Cecilia are coming from. Apart from their "concern" about me not working on the project anymore, they are unhappy that Ben will take over my PhD project from now on. Long story short, the project was initiated by Andy and Cecilia, but they are not experts of the field, so they included Ben, who is from a different department, as my advisor. At first, things worked out very well, but obviously became problematic when my work had the potential to go to a good journal. Andy could not threaten to not let me submit my dissertation, but he had played nasty by deliberately reviewing my dissertation drafts slowly. Now, expertise and money issues aside, I am employed by Ben. That means Ben is going to dominate how the project will go. Andy and Cecilia now need to get Ben's "permission" before they can order me to do any experiments they want. Andy and Cecilia are my great sources of anxiety. I only realised how much stress they gave me until I started working for Ben. Instead of waking up in a lot of stress, I embrace every day with my job now! Although not desirable, it is inevitable that I need to burn a bridge with someone at some stages. Let's hope that by completing that experiment, things would clear up a bit.

Thank you @fuzzylogician for your insight. I understand A and C are concerned that I will abandon the project, but I did reassure them that I would carry on the project when I told them about the job with B. B was also my PhD advisor, and he belongs to this project as well, so I don't see why it will be discontinued. In fact, at the time of hire, both B and his department head were aware that I may need to attend to this project at some stage. They are both happy with that. In fact, they see it as a training, because they expect me to work on multiple projects. So, I really don't understand why A and C would still think that I will not do the experiment. What I care about is money. It is simply unacceptable that they pushed me to do a big experiment as a volunteer, when they had agreed to pay me before. Although I am a student, I need to be respected too. They should have apologised to me that they could not pay me, and be accepting if I was unwilling. It is really a double standard here; if they expect me to keep my promise, they need to keep theirs in the first place! Anyway, B has agreed that I complete that experiment as part of my job, so I will get paid to do it!

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has offered emotional support here. My PhD defend went very well, and I passed with very minor revisions. I have also got the postdoctoral position that I have always hoped for, from one of my advisors, *Ben. However, getting this job comes at a price. As some of you may aware, my main advisor, *Andy, and my co-advisor, *Cecilia, do not get on well with *Ben. Without going into a lot of details, *Andy and *Cecilia have always wanted me to do an experiment, and they pushed me hard for that. When *Ben learnt that I was under a lot of stress, he stepped in and supported that I got my dissertation out of my way first. *Andy and *Cecilia agreed reluctantly. This got *Andy yelling at me and deliberately not allowing me to submit my dissertation. *Cecilia resolved the situation by asking me to complete that experiment for *Andy after I submitted my dissertation. At first, they said they would pay me at a rate comparable to the student stipend, but then they asked me to work as a volunteer. I know they are running out of funding, but they hurt me a lot by breaking their promise. At the same time, I learnt that *Ben has got funding for a project that I am interested in. Without a second thought, I applied to *Ben's position, and got accepted. While I was waiting for the contract from *Ben, *Andy and *Cecilia kept pushing me to finish that experiment. It really happened that a lot of things came up in my personal life, so I got away with not working for them. I admit that I intentionally declined to work for them because of the money issue. Anyway, after I signed the contract, I told *Ben that *Andy and *Cecilia wanted me to do that experiment very badly; he said he would be happy to accommodate if it helped my upcoming publication. I then announced the news that I would be working for *Ben to *Andy and *Cecilia, and that *Ben would be happy for me to do that experiment, if needed. I expected that they would be a little bit upset at most, and then would congratulate on my job, because they have been asking me to contact prospective labs to do a postdoc. However, they took the news very badly. In particular, *Cecilia bombarded me with emails of anger and disappointment, cc'd in to *Ben. She is unhappy that I did not finish that experiment before starting my job. Thankfully, *Ben believed my made-up story why I could not complete that experiment in a timely manner. He was as supportive as usual; he negotiated with *Andy and *Cecilia about that experiment. The whole situation was well-solved; *Ben agreed that I spared some time to work on the experiment, and he would adjust my work schedule accordingly. The outcome is good in the end. My family and friends are all proud of me for handling such a difficult situation well. They ask me to move on and embrace my job. For some reason, however, I feel guilty about hiding from *Andy and *Cecilia, and lying to all my advisors. I know it is bad of course, but I did not have a choice. Given that *Andy and *Cecilia reacted so badly towards my employment with *Ben, they must find ways to stop me from going to his lab, if they knew earlier. Do you think I have been rude/impolite to *Andy and *Cecilia? I have a feeling that I have burned the bridge with them. To date, they have never congratulated on my employment! Thank you for your comments. * denotes pseudonym

How many cans of diet coke do you drink each day? I think you could try cutting down the numbers gradually. For example, you drink 3 cans a day. Try to cut down to 2 in the coming week. Once you can achieve this goal, cut it down to 1 in the week after and so on. At the same time, you should find healthy alternatives to release stress. For example, when you feel like drinking diet coke under stress, go for a 10-min walk instead.

Firstly, do you struggle with finding to sleep or falling asleep (i.e. insomnia)? If it is the former, then the best tip I would offer is to get enough sleep. You just cannot function well and remain productive and motivated when you are sleepy. Sleeping is also very helpful to consolidate your memory. You often find it easier to remember things you have studied after a good night sleep (and this has been shown in research). If it is the latter, then you need to find ways to reduce your stress, like having a walk, doing meditation etc. Of course, if these cannot help, then you should seek support from a school counsellor.

Thank you for your response, @ZeChocMoose. I know that advisor is an open person. He will be equally happy that I go on with academia vs industry (or other options) after postdoc. In fact, he has only been granted a 2-year funding, which means he can only hire me till then, unless he gets more funding in the coming 2 years. I am actually like you that I want that time and space to ensure that I want to go on with academia. I was actually upfront with him about that when I first expressed interest in working on his project for postdoc. He took that very well. Now, the interview is conducted with his research partner, which happens to be the department head, so I'd better be more cautious. I will tell them that my short-term goal is to do a postdoc, so I can learn more research skills. [Elaborate on what I want to learn from this lab] Hopefully, these will lead to more publications, which prepare me for the next stage of career. I have considered going on with academia, but I am open to other options as well. I think I still answer the question and bring out the uncertainty, without sounding like I totally don't know what to do.

I would like to draw your attention to the above points you have typed. The fact is that you have done your best to protect your privacy, and the chance of someone finding out which school you are applying and reporting you is very slim. As I said, the med school incident most likely happened because you had details that identify you as an accepted student to that school. Hence, the med school somehow has to take action to alleviate public concerns and retain its name. Now, you have not indicated anything that identifies you to particular grad schools, so those nasty people will have to send random emails to different grad schools. Let's think about how they may write the email. "I am writing to express concerns of someone who may have applied to your school. Seacloud has previously made blog posts on personal battle of anxiety and depression (see attached)..." The phrase "who may have" is enough for anyone whom it may concern to treat it as a junk mail. Touch wood, even if they guess it right, since you have not tied yourself to any schools on social media, you are speaking out of yourself rather than representing your school. This is not inappropriate social media usage. Another thing, you have deleted the posts, so the grad school cannot verify anything (I am pretty sure the med school verified those posts before taking action on you). With the technology these days, it is very easy to fabricate screenshots of blog posts. I doubt the grad school would bother to investigate something that cannot be verified, and has nothing to do with themselves. Some more insights/advice for you: "While grad school is also stressful, I think that the freedom to, within reason, control your schedule and distribute workload according to your own preferences might be a saving grace, whereas with medical school you are expected to work at the times they tell you, which involves forced sleep deprivation at times." Well, you are partially right. While you can choose your working hours, you have the pressure to produce quality results for your dissertation and publications. If you are in a field that involves a lot of experiments, it is not uncommon to spend months on experiments that are not working, and you are struggling to get enough data to move on. I consider myself lucky, as I have already generated exciting data for my project when I was still in my first year of PhD. My advisors congratulated me on the success, as all their students didn't get anything until at least halfway in the second year. Even if you are not from a field that involves a lot of experiments, it is still a big struggle to write your dissertation and publications. Writing the dissertation to the standard that your advisor(s) approves for submission is not an easy task. It is even more difficult for publications, as it is common to go through rounds of rejection, revision and re-submission before you can get a paper published. I don't know your school, but some PhD programs require students to have publications before they can graduate. My biggest advice is to have a team of professionals to take care of your mental health, even though your anxiety/depression is well managed at the moment. In case you get another episode, you have someone to turn to for help. "My decision to go into medicine was in large part due to the anticipated job market; but I've since learned that poor job markets for PhD STEM graduates are not absolute, are highly school-dependent (some schools feed better than others into industry and into good postdocs), and highly student dependent (as in, there is more onus to make *yourself* marketable)." You are right that job markets for PhD graduates are hit-and-miss. If you are into academia, then whether you get a job is largely dependent on funding. If you are into industry, then you should try to make contact with relevant people when you are still in grad school. Going to conferences is a good way to make connections with other people, be it academia or industry. Networking is the key word here.

After an agonising wait, I am finally offered an interview to a prospective postdoc position. I possess all the required skills and match the selection criteria for the post, so I will be fine with addressing my suitability for the position. I am just wondering how I should properly answer my future career plans. To be honest, the actual answer in my mind is "I don't know. Let's take this job and see." My plan is to do a postdoc and see whether I am interested in academia. If so, I will go on. If not, I will move on to something else like industry etc. When I went to a career seminar, all speakers did a postdoc before moving on non-academic careers. My advisors also think that it would be beneficial for me to publish a few more papers, even if I decide not to pursue a career in academia. I have asked my friends and family. They say I should somehow "lie" that I am interested in a career of academia, as I can argue that I change my mind later on. If I tell them that I may leave after my postdoc, they may not invest that many resources in me, or they may refuse me altogether. However, I don't wish to sound too firm like "I am definitely into academia", as it sounds like an obvious lie. #You may wonder why I don't ask any of my advisors. That position is held by one of my advisors and his long-term research partner. My other advisors have conflict with him and do not want me to work for him. I am hiding it from them until I get the job. How should I give an impressive response? Any advice is appreciated. Many thanks.

I think the med school was upset that you posted your blog under their name. Sadly, mental illnesses are still stigmatised these days, and your med school might worry that the doctors from their school are perceived as "problematic". I think they rejected you to keep their name, although I agree it was unfair. Since you did not indicate which schools you intend to go to on any social media, I doubt those people could use your previous blog posts against you. Did you indicate that you were applying to grad school on social media? If not, then you don't need to worry at all. I doubt they can remotely guess what is in your mind and send "junk mails" to random grad schools. Even if you have indicated that you are going to grad school, it is still a lot of hard work to guess where exactly. You can be moving to a different state from where you are living. A photo of San Diego does not prove that you have applied to grad school there, as you can happen to be travelling there. If you are super concerned, then probably stop posting anything until you have successfully settled in grad school. Yes, those people can send those screenshots by trial and error and might arrive at the school you are going to. But given that grad school receives a lot of emails every day, do you think they will bother to investigate a few screenshots?

Even though I am yet to defend my PhD, I have pretty much gone through the whole journey. I too saw and heard a lot of horror stories, like two of my friends started PhD with great passion, but then their research did not go well and they quit with a master. They are those who were very outstanding in undergrad. Another friend also had an eventful journey before he got his PhD. His marks were good enough to be accepted straight into PhD after undergrad, but he did not do well enough in the first semester that he was made to finish a master before reentering a PhD program. Somehow he chose the wrong advisor when he finished his master, and that professor was caught with academic misconduct. He had to switch to another advisor to finish his PhD dissertation. His defend was not any smoother either, in which he needed another 8 months for major revision. I was quite taken aback by these mishaps at first, but felt relieved when seeing that all students from my advisor's group got their PhDs successfully. The biggest advice here is to choose an advisor who is helpful, and has a good record of getting their students graduated. My background is different from you. Almost all my family members and relatives received higher education, and there are a few PhDs and professors, so I too have a pressure to succeed. I was not made to do a PhD, and I was given a lot of insights on how doing a PhD would be like. You would think that I knew what to expect in a PhD program, but my experience was totally different from anyone else in my family. Basically, you will never know what you will encounter until you get into PhD yourself! I totally agree with checking in with a therapist regularly. I don't have any mental illnesses myself, but I have a rather strong family history of depression, so I have been seeing a psychologist for the past 10 years. My psychologist is a PhD graduate herself. I went to her before I started my PhD for some advice. She asked me to reflect on what skills I have learnt over the course of my education, which would help with my PhD studies. That has helped me put things into perspective, so you can give it a go too. Although I was terribly stressed out during the write-up period, I am glad that I progressively got better by not doing anything related to my project for 2 months. Another advice would be to take regular breaks during your studies. I can't stress the importance of annual leaves. I made the mistake of writing my dissertation over the Christmas holiday, and I was backfired with a whole year of high stress! Note: Some advisors are as mean as my advisor, who does not like students taking long breaks. He made me come in to do volunteer work while I was waiting for my defend, which I kindly refused. Of course, I had the support of my other advisor, who asked me to take a long break after finishing my PhD dissertation, and he would hopefully be my boss for the next few years (fingers crossed). Again, it is very important to choose the right advisor!

Since you can write your dissertation in your own time, I also don't see any reason why you can't move and live with your fiancee. I don't know your advisor, but he may be concerned that you run away and do not have the discipline to keep up with writing. I would suggest that you work out a plan for completing your dissertation, e.g. complete Chapter 1 by what date, Chapter 2 by what date etc. Make times to meet with him regularly, e.g. once a month. If your advisor feels up to it, you may even catch up via skype. After your make the plan, talk to your advisor again. If you can reassure him that you will keep your writing on track, he may change his attitude. FYI, my dad did his PhD in a city that is 2 hours away by train, and his advisors were okay with him coming once in a while. In the meantime, have a conversation with your fiancee. Let her know that you are trying your best to move in with her, but she may need to wait until you finish your dissertation if you advisor doesn't approve it. Given that she has waited for 3.5 years to live with you, I don't see why she cannot wait for a bit longer.

Everyone has give you good advice here. I definitely agree with telling your advisor that you are struggling, and that you need to slow down a bit for the next few weeks. I second @lemma's advice that you should register with the disability office, so they can be your advocate for any accommodations needed. However, as @TakeruK said, depending on how well your advisor may handle the disclosure, you may choose to selectively disclose rather than telling him everything. If your advisor is not that empathetic with issues in your personal life, then "personal problems/issues" may not be the best term here. I told one of my advisors that my grandpa passed away and I needed more time off work; she did not feel sorry for me at all but blamed me for taking a long break. I am still angry with her saying that "You only need a few days for your dead grandpa". She is a grandma herself, and I wonder how she would react if her grandchildren were blamed for taking time off work because her husband passed away. Anyway, if your advisor happens to be like mine, I would say "health issues" instead of "anxiety and depression". He only needs to know that you need time off the next few weeks for health reasons. You don't have to tell him what issues you have exactly. Get well soon.

Is it possible for you to make your blog private, or even closing it down altogether? It is good to share your experience, but you'd better take precautions to ensure that you are not identified when your blogs may be used against you. I use this forum to seek help and support for my difficult advisors. Since I have not told anyone in my lab about my advisors, the only people who will figure me out would be my advisors. It is highly unlikely that they will be on here, but I still remain careful not revealing where I am from and what I am researching on. You never know! I think you have learnt your lesson by using different usernames and not revealing where you are going when making posts about grad school. Should that person stumble across your posts, he/she doesn't know where to report you. In the unlikely event that you get found out, you should be fine by explaining to your school that your mental health is well managed. I doubt it is considered inappropriate social media usage for the case of grad school. One thing that you should be concerned, though, is the management of good mental health in grad school. Grad school is very hard and stressful. Even for me who hasn't got any mental illnesses, I still went through a period of heightened anxiety when I was writing up my dissertation. I would suggest that you locate resources that can help you, in case the stress of grad school takes a toll on your mental health.