E-P

To follow up, the esteemed @rising_star has added additional gender options and we now have an area for pronouns. Huzzah!

This is an old post, but whatever It would depend on your institution, but I would suggest, if it is mandatory, going by your initials or something along those lines. You probably won't have to put your picture up. I also wouldn't want one, simply because I have a particularly nasty ex-boyfriend I'd prefer not to be able to Google me. So the initials (EP) are the compromise I have made for myself. Hope this helps!

@deshypothequiez You know, the logical thing is not always the thing that is right. So yeah, it might be "most logical" to leave your cats behind, but you're going to need the emotional support that a feline friend can provide. And if you come to Chicago, we'll help you get settled in. We'll find you a nice cat-friendly place to live and you'll have built in friends and your boyfriend can come visit you. If that's what you choose! If it's not, we support that too! We've got your back, girlfriend/boyfriend/zirfriend*. Perhaps your graduate career is simply delayed...and you go to a PhD program in Europe when the SO heads their postdoc! And in the meantime, you'll do something kickass right where you are. (* In retrospect, grad cafe should have a place in profile where one can choose to note their preferred pronouns. I shall submit a feature request.)

Bizarrely enough, I've signed up with a couple of temp agencies and a bunch of recruiters. I was contacted about one assignment, but not ultimately selected for it. I'm assuming that I'm in the "overqualified" bucket, but man, it's disheartening to be rejected for a proofreading gig.

You and @GreenEyedTrombonist should talk, if you haven't already! She has her eye on UConn too.

Yep, I haven't heard anything either. Are you applying to any other schools, or is it UT or bust?

After reading about some of the survivor's guilt y'all are feeling. I feel fortunate that I'm the only person from my MA program that I'm aware of who is applying this cycle! There was one person who applied (and got in) last year - I guess it's a benefit of a small program.

I would say that they don't know you have a car, and that driving is possible. Therefore, expecting them to pay for all of your travel expenses is normal and acceptable. I would just assume they would, and then act shocked if they say otherwise. You might have to be flexible with how you get there (e.g., train or plane), depending on where you're going and where you're coming from if there's a more convenient train station than airport. But yes, it's okay to expect them to pay for all of it.

I know the feels. I'm adopted myself, and I'm like, "C'mon, ovaries, simmer down and chill out, this is the best solution." We're going to start the process once we decide where we're going and get moved there. We know we're leaving Illinois, and the training is very state-specific, so it doesn't make sense to jump the gun. From what I understand, if we're okay with an older child (which we are), we can go straight for adoption, versus doing foster care first. At least in our target states. So we'll probably see about that first.

There are other options too, if you decide to go that route, like sperm donors and whatnot. But lots of kids need homes, and our genes are probably not that special that we must pass them on. Anyway, as a mid-30s person, I know your feels about the slow tick of the clock. Especially when every month there's a new friend on social media posting ultrasound pictures and fresh baby photos.

My Spouse and I also have been married for a few years, and he will be joining me for grad school. Fortunately, his job moves with him, so he can be the bigger income earner while I'm in school. I would say that the biggest thing I'm doing is factoring him into my decision. If it had been just me, I'd probably have gone back to Texas. Since it's not, we're most likely staying near his family. Similarly, where he can work has been factored in. Furthermore, he has some desires with regards to the type of house he wants to live in, so that's a factor too. Basically, if he's going to follow me and deal with the stress of a partner in a PhD program, I'm going to do everything I can to make it easy on him. Oh, and as for Spouse/Partner, I'm a believer that none of us should assume the gender of someone, so I call him my spouse, and I called him my partner before we got married. I don't think it's coopting language at all; it's normalizing the gender-neutral reference. Even if someone is 99% hetero or homosexual, they may make a single exception...for the person they're married to. So I like to think of it as being the change I want to see in the world.

So, this is mostly just me venting. I've been in the corporate world since 2004, and am a well-respected manager. Unfortunately, my last company went out of business last June, and I've been applying everywhere ever since. I'm at the point where I'm six months away from starting my program, my unemployment benefits are gone, and I'd really like to do something besides pet the cats and watch X-Files and apply for jobs. I get interviews at about 10% of the jobs I apply to (which, evidently, is good odds), and they just don't go past the phone interview. I'm not advertising the fact that I'm leaving in six months, so I honestly don't understand what I'm doing wrong. So, for my fellow Fall 2018 cohort: What are you doing to fill in the job gap between now and then...and how did you find it?

It's very possible in most states, although I don't know about Pennsylvania! It's probably harder if you go through a private adoption and want a baby, but it's considerably more accepted and normal if you go through the foster care system and do a foster-to-adopt situation. The latter is also, typically, less expensive. I would check out http://www.adoptpakids.org/Default.aspx and contact your local coordinator. He or she can take you through the logistics.

I would say that you should ask them to schedule you skype meetings with some current grad students and your POIs. You have a totally valid reason - you just started a new job and can't take time off. It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing.

Let me preface this by saying that pregnant discrimination is illegal. So your university is not allowed to not offer you admission based on being pregnant (or, I think, planning to become pregnant). That said, universities are a business like any other. They could easily say, "We didn't reject her due to her pregnancy plans, we rejected her because her research wasn't a good fit." In other words, it's very hard to prove discrimination, especially if you're not already a student/employee. Therefore, I agree: Don't mention your parenthood plans to anyone at the school. However, you can take a look at other grad students. Does anyone else have kids? See if you can talk with them, and see if you can bring up the parenthood bit. They'll be the best ones to tell you how good (or not) the school is with parental leave. Finally, your graduate student handbook (available in PDF almost anywhere) will probably mention medical/pregnancy leave options.

@Adelaide9216 I've given some thought to this. What I ultimately came up with is that it's going to be better for my mental health to go to grad school and finally get to research that which I want to Understand, than it will be to stay in the corporate world where I've hit a pretty solid ceiling and never really fit in. Have you considered spring cleaning therapy? E.g., seeing a therapist for a while not because you NEED it, but because you want to arm yourself with the necessary defenses in advance?

Regarding TA versus instructor of record, I'm not sure! I'll find out and report back. I have the impression that you can choose between TAing for a large class, or being the IoR for a small class, but I haven't actually had that confirmed. @TakeruK I have no idea what the saturation level is. Do you have any thoughts on how to find that out? I imagine that it has some to do with the specific field too - School 1 is technically a Communication program, and School 2 is more Information focused. I can do my research at either, but I'm betting the law of diminishing returns is higher in Comm that in iSchools.

So I have offers from two schools right now. Both are R2 institutions, both are well thought of. For School 1, the offer includes no teaching the first year, but then 2 classes per semester for the rest of my time there. For School 2, offers rarely require teaching, as the department is mostly graduate students, and there aren't many undergraduates to teach. I was assured that if I wanted to teach, I could, after I pass comps, but I talked to a couple of people who were about to graduate, and they've taught 3-5 classes, period. However, it's definitely something I would have to seek out. However, I would get a lot of experience and exposure to research, grant proposal writing, etc. . At this point, I have no idea if I would want to spend my career at a high R1 institution, or someplace more focused on teaching. But I worry about shortchanging myself by going someplace where teaching is more of an afterthought. I don't want a decision I make in 2018 to limit the career possibilities that I could make in 2022 Thoughts?

@ProudCatMom M&I. Do you know if anyone else has heard on the communication track?

MSU just sent me my schedule over the next two days. Shit just got real. Really, if I can just not make an ass of myself, I'll be happy.

As a woman in a predominantly female field, you rock my socks, and I'm glad you're going into your field. I understand the fear of being the only female (I was the only woman in a male-dominant field for a long time), and I hope you're able to get into your program and rock their socks off and help women in maths be the norm, not the exception.

This is an old post, but amongst my age-similar friends, I am often called on to be the adultiest adult. It may not apply to you anymore...but maybe it will apply to someone else looking here in the future. Therefore, my Adulting advice. - Know how much you want to spend on things like rent. Be sure to calculate in approximate costs for electric, water, Internet, etc. For me, I worked backwards, and said that I wanted my household income to not be taken up by more than 50% of rent, bills, car payments, etc. - For moving efficiently across country (or anywhere, for that matter), there are three factors: Time, Cost, and Ease/Quality. If you have an infinite amount of money, you can pay someone to come and pack up all your stuff, move it for you, and unpack it. It's extremely expensive, but it's easy and fast. Most grad students are likely to prioritize low cost and low time. So you're probably looking at getting rid of a lot of stuff (I'm looking at you, old sofa) and renting a Uhaul. Don't forget that you can ask friends to help drive, but be willing to pay them for their time. Don't be That guy. - It's okay to move somewhere temporarily while you figure out the area. Look for a sublet - generally, 3-6 months of someone who needed to get out of their lease. That'll give you a good feel for the area. It comes at the "cost" of having to move your stuff again, but depending on how much stuff you have, living out of boxes for a few months is generally okay. You don't *really* need to unbox all your crafting, family photos, etc. - Scan a lot of stuff in. You probably don't need hard copies of your 2012 tax returns. Scan it, then shred it. - Keep the important stuff. Know where your birth certificate is, your passport, etc. Keep it in a fire-proof envelope or something if you can't afford a safe deposit box. - Ask for help. Be vulnerable. Surprisingly, I've found people respect both of these things. Or most people do. The ones that don't aren't worth your time. And, here's my #1 piece of advice: Nobody has any idea what the hell they're doing. Everyone is faking it. All the time. So when you think, "Whoa, I don't know what I'm doing, everyone else does, and I'm just a big Phony McFakester." Take a step back and realize that nobody else has it figured out either. Nope, not your parents, or that old Professor Emeritus everyone looks up to. This is both terrifying (Abraham Lincoln had no idea what he was doing), and exhilirating (if Abe didn't know that freeing the slaves would turn out okay, it's okay if you don't know whether or not your career choice will turn out okay). Everyone is making the best decisions they can with the information they have at the time. Of course, this also means that I have no idea what I'm doing...so everything above might be wrong. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I agree with the general sentiment of asking why not just move your stuff when you move you. That said, when I made a similar move, and my circumstances didn't allow me to move my stuff with me, I stored it in a self-storage place for the summer. I hired movers to move it from my apartment into the self-storage unit, then left it there. Then, when it was time to move, I hired another set of movers to move it to its final destination. Depending on how much stuff you have, you might be able to ask a friend for space in his/her/zir garage or basement or something too in exchange for a nice bottle of booze or some other enticement.

I can't speak to the philosophy programs, but Waco, where Baylor is located, is a close drive both to Dallas, and to Austin. So it's definitely a smaller town than Saint Louis, but it's close (within a 90-120 minute drive) of two pretty significant social areas. Plus, you know, the Branch Davidian compound. That's always good for a single, strange visit.

Currently, heading to MSU this Thursday and Friday for a campus visit, and going to Purdue's welcome weekend next Friday and Saturday.