"Let's just TALK about it..." Decision Edition

[1PhDplz]

1 hour ago, Bayesian1701 said:

@1PhDplz what's the ranking/prestige difference?  If USC is also good and both of them would help you achieve your career goals the funding and security of knowing you can stay there until you complete are major pluses in my opinion.  Stanford sounds risky because you could not get into the PhD program or have to get debt (or even worse both).  How many spots do they typically have in their PhD program for those that did their MS?  Do you feel comfortable with getting 60k in debt or possibly not being able to finish?   I was in a similar situation except that the risky school wasn't my top choice and I decided not to do it and opt for the safer place.  

Stanford is ranked #2, USC is #11. I don't really know if that's different enough to matter in terms of quality of education  or professional opportunities.  Stanford is definitely a better research fit (assuming I'd be able to do the PhD), but I don't know if I can justify passing up a sure thing like USC. I will definitely be asking about how many spots they typically have in their PhD program for those that finish the MS, and I won't make a decision until I receive more information about financial aid. I feel like if I pick USC, i'm always going to think "What if I'd gone to Stanford?" and if I pick Stanford and things don't work out, I'll majorly regret not taking the offer from USC. 

If this was any other program but Stanford's it would be a no brainer for me to pick USC!

[Bayesian1701]

I declined my first offer today.  It was harder than I expected.  I felt bad but it is not like I can attend multiple programs. 

[Mopar18]

19 minutes ago, Bayesian1701 said:

I declined my first offer today.  It was harder than I expected.  I felt bad but it is not like I can attend multiple programs. 

I sent my first email today declining an offer as well. Makes me nervous telling someone I'm not going there lol

[Bayesian1701]

It feels so final.  I know I don’t want to go there but the paranoid part of me is afraid my other 4 schools will fall through.  I also turned down a visit at that program.  I was afraid I would regret my decision (I wrote the email on Friday but just sent it today) but I made the right choice.  It was my worst funding offer and my last choice but saying no was still hard.  Maybe that’s why rejection letters come later since they might be afraid of the other offers falling through. 

[Mopar18]

I know exactly how you feel. This was the right decision for me since they didn't offer me any funding and I already have 1 funded offer. I'll be glad when this is all over.

[lordtiandao]

How did you guys decline the offer? I need to do it soon and I'm still pondering how I should write the e-mail.

[Mopar18]

3 minutes ago, lordtiandao said:

How did you guys decline the offer? I need to do it soon and I'm still pondering how I should write the e-mail.

I went with:

Hi Dr. (Insert Program Director),

I want to thank you for considering my application and offering me a place in the (program name). I wanted to let you know that regretfully I will not be accepting the offer of admission because I will be accepting an offer at another institution. I would like to once again thank you and the department for the opportunity to attend (insert school).

[Bayesian1701]

@lordtiandao 

Dear DGS,

Thank you for your offer.  I enjoyed talking with you (I had an interview), but I have decided to withdraw my application.  

Best regards,

Bayesian

I didn’t say I made a decision because I still have no idea and all I knew was I wasn’t going there and I wanted to avoid them asking where I will be attending. 

[Mopar18]

I haven't made one either, leaning heavily towards a program, but am putting off making a decision til I've heard back from the last program and see if they just blow me away. I probably didn't do a great job not implying I've made a full decision.

[lordtiandao]

@Mopar18 @Bayesian1701 Thank you both! 

[bumbleblu]

On 2/23/2018 at 3:08 AM, zaeta266 said:

Hey everyone! I'm not sure about where to ask this, but I was wondering if it's normal not to have received a funding package yet for a program I was accepted to around two weeks ago. It's a PhD program so I'm not worried I'll have no funding, but still I'm starting to get really anxious about it.

Btw, congrats to everyone on your acceptances!

I would say it's normal -- I was accepted to two programs at the end of January, and only got funding offers for both schools yesterday. It takes them a while to hammer out the details (plus I had to wait to see if I would be awarded a fellowship). 

Anyway, it sucks, but be patient; it'll arrive eventually!

[waltzforzizi]

2 hours ago, bumbleblu said:

I would say it's normal -- I was accepted to two programs at the end of January, and only got funding offers for both schools yesterday. It takes them a while to hammer out the details (plus I had to wait to see if I would be awarded a fellowship). 

Anyway, it sucks, but be patient; it'll arrive eventually!

Same for me. I was accepted on the 7th but was told to wait and see if I receive a fellowship. Results should be out this week. I was given a breakdown of POTENTIAL funding offers, but I have yet to receive any conditional offers. 

You should just ask your POI if it's not stated on anything you've received. Waiting it out is tough! Good luck to you as well.

[surprise_quiche]

Just got the official letter for my assistantship and cried in my cubicle.

 

[ms123456]

I am about to write an email declining a top university Fellowship with a 31k stipend with a super nice professor that had aggressively recruiting me. I might die inside a bit but I made a decision to go elsewhere. Definitely not an easy task. 

[FishNerd]

12 minutes ago, ms123456 said:

I am about to write an email declining a top university Fellowship with a 31k stipend with a super nice professor that had aggressively recruiting me. I might die inside a bit but I made a decision to go elsewhere. Definitely not an easy task. 

If you don't mind me asking what has helped you make your decision? I see that you are in Biology like I am so I was curious if research fit, funding package, location and cost of living, advisor interactions, research facilities and equipment etc. helped in making your decision.

I have been offered fellowships at the two schools I'm deciding between. However, one of the schools packages is significantly more and I really don't know how much to factor that into my decision. I have also been aggressively recruited by a professor at the school with the higher funding package so I feel like I'm in a similar situation. Are you reaching out to the professor who's lab you would have worked in to turn down the offer?

 

[ms123456]

@FishNerd. Yes I am reaching out directly to the professor, because we have been in close contact the entire time. I am turning it down because of what I want my future to look like. This professor is a forest pathologist, and I don’t want to get myself stuck in trees for the rest of my career. He’s a great advisor, and I’m sure I could learn a ton from him. In the end I had to choose what is best for my career. Sure the large stipend in a cheapish area with a top established professor would be great for the short term. The young professor with the new technology and 27k stipend in a more expensive area will give me more paths and options for future career paths. The nature of the research is more flexible and interdisciplinary. 

 

[FishNerd]

@ms123456 Thanks so much! I figured you were reaching out directly to the professor but I just thought I would ask since I will be in a similar place when I make my decision.

So essentially research fit and future career prospects is what helped you make your decision. Those are definitely two things I am weighting very highly into my decision making and I hope I can better assess research fit when I make my visits over the next month. What made you realize that the younger professor with the new technology would open up your options for future career paths better? Just curious so maybe I can assess similar things when I make my visits.

[ms123456]

@FishNerd. I didn’t realize this until I spent 2 hours on the phone with an old friend from college who is almost done getting her PhD in the same field I am applying to. We worked together for a year and a half.  Basically she told me the issues that I would run into with a young professor would not matter for someone with my work ethic. She’s also at the number one ranked school in our field, so she has a lot of connections and insight with academia and industry. 

[FishNerd]

@ms123456 Thanks for the insight! I hope by visiting and asking the right questions and seeing the facilities available to me I can better assess everything I want to know to help my decision making.

[Carly Rae Jepsen]

Campus visit tomorrow and I am so so excited. Talking about my interests with this one professor will be a highlight for sure. And getting a feel of the campus, too. Lots of meetings and hanging out with grad students which sounds like a blast (lol what a nerd i know).

[SomeoneThrewMyShoe]

This may be just me but:

Does anyone else get really anxious at the idea of having to send "I'm not coming there" emails?

I know that this is the way this whole thing works, but I've loved so many of the people I've met with on my visits and love some of the work the people who have contacted me are doing. I keep thinking "Wow, they're going to hate me" when I tell them I'm not going. I know for them it's not personal, but for me this process is SUPER PERSONAL. (I also just didn't anticipate having this problem of HAVING A CHOICE but I digress). 

On a related note: if anyone has a good template "I'm so honored you accepted me and I love your work but I've decided to go somewhere else " email, send it this girl's way. 

[catsareme]

20 hours ago, Carly Rae Jepsen said:

Campus visit tomorrow and I am so so excited. Talking about my interests with this one professor will be a highlight for sure. And getting a feel of the campus, too. Lots of meetings and hanging out with grad students which sounds like a blast (lol what a nerd i know).

I'm currently living in St. Louis, if you have any questions about the area let me know! Hopefully they take you to City Museum while you're here visiting!

[SetDec]

@SomeoneThrewMyShoe I am in the exact same boat, my field is so incredibly small that I don't want to offend anyone a burn any bridges.  I keep having to explain that traveling across the country to a completely different environment, especially the fact that I would be moving from 75 and sunny 340 days a year to snow for a majority of fall/winter, for three years is an extremely personal decision. I also haven't heard back from one program, they said they would have decisions out this week and another program is pressuring me to accept without hearing back from everyone. 

[Bayesian1701]

4 hours ago, SomeoneThrewMyShoe said:

This may be just me but:

Does anyone else get really anxious at the idea of having to send "I'm not coming there" emails?

I know that this is the way this whole thing works, but I've loved so many of the people I've met with on my visits and love some of the work the people who have contacted me are doing. I keep thinking "Wow, they're going to hate me" when I tell them I'm not going. I know for them it's not personal, but for me this process is SUPER PERSONAL. (I also just didn't anticipate having this problem of HAVING A CHOICE but I digress). 

On a related note: if anyone has a good template "I'm so honored you accepted me and I love your work but I've decided to go somewhere else " email, send it this girl's way. 

SAME!  I feel bad that I am going on 4 visits where each program is spending approximately a $1000 on me and I can only attend one of them.  And all of the people have been super nice and I like them.   I feel like I am going to hurt their feelings or something.  All of my programs knew where I applied so I think they know that I am sitting on multiple offers.   

I also feel so bad that while so many people are shutting out this year I have 5 offers and 3 programs to hear back from.  I am not trying to brag but this is not a frequent occurrence in stats.  One of my programs emailed me telling me that they have a large waitlist and I realized that I am holding so many spots.  I don't know what I want to do anymore and of course, I am still waiting for my first choice.   We have 45 days to decide.  This is so stressful.  

[SomeoneThrewMyShoe]

4 hours ago, SetDec said:

@SomeoneThrewMyShoe I am in the exact same boat, my field is so incredibly small that I don't want to offend anyone a burn any bridges.  I keep having to explain that traveling across the country to a completely different environment, especially the fact that I would be moving from 75 and sunny 340 days a year to snow for a majority of fall/winter, for three years is an extremely personal decision. I also haven't heard back from one program, they said they would have decisions out this week and another program is pressuring me to accept without hearing back from everyone. 

My field isn't even that small but I feel like I'm going to offend someone? A pretty big name in my field is my assigned advisor at one of my schools; he JUST got there and he said he's never had a doctoral advisee before and he's so excited for me! I'm pretty sure I'm not going there but I AM FEELING ALL OF THE GUILT. Like...is he going to resent me when I see him at conferences? 

 

2 hours ago, Bayesian1701 said:

SAME!  I feel bad that I am going on 4 visits where each program is spending approximately a $1000 on me and I can only attend one of them.  And all of the people have been super nice and I like them.   I feel like I am going to hurt their feelings or something.  All of my programs knew where I applied so I think they know that I am sitting on multiple offers.   

I also feel so bad that while so many people are shutting out this year I have 5 offers and 3 programs to hear back from.  I am not trying to brag but this is not a frequent occurrence in stats.  One of my programs emailed me telling me that they have a large waitlist and I realized that I am holding so many spots.  I don't know what I want to do anymore and of course, I am still waiting for my first choice.   We have 45 days to decide.  This is so stressful.  

Honestly, you should brag! That's amazing!

Waitlist Guilt should be a named phenomenon. I'm fairly confident that I'm going to one of the schools that accepted me - but I can't confirm until I visit next month. Gotta get a feel for it. Hopefully in mid-March I'll let schools know and that's enough time for them to notify the waitlist. Like this is such a nice problem to have but it's also the source of all of my anxiety.