Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[thepinkdragon76]

Chewing of food. Loud chewing of food. In fact, any kind of audible chewing in an otherwise silent environment. I strongly suspect that given the right circumstances, it could turn me homicidal.

Hahaha. My mother does this. When we visit each other I try hard to go out to eat with her instead of home so other noises will distract me. Otherwise I end up staring at her and tell her that she has "overly masticated and to swallow already!" It drives me nuts!

[thepinkdragon76]

I admit I've hidden friends on Facebook because they post way too many cutesy things about their kids. I also have friends who post a picture of their pug. EVERY DAY. Every day a new picture of the dog. Seriously, I'm about ready to scream. And I'm a HUGE dog lover.

I'm sorry, x 5: 1 cutesy kid, 4 crazy, cutesy, lazy and neurotic pugs.

[thepinkdragon76]

I can't believe I just took up an entire page with my replies. Apparently, I need a life.

[VulpesZerda]

I completely understand. Sometimes one of the saving grace perks for me of being in a military family is not having other family issues constantly staring me in the face anymore. I recieved my BA a year late for undergrad because of incompletes I had to take in my senior year to handle the health and mental health issues surrounding my parents.

Thanks, yeah, it's tough. Luckily that hasn't happened to me yet. I used to be hyperaware of taking care of my own life/health first by keeping my stress levels low. I feel guilty leaving for grad school. One parent with bad health, one sibling with bad mental health, and one parent dealing with all of it alone when I leave.

[avflinsch]

Two things, both Netflix related:

1. What the hell takes Netflix so long to add the most recent season of a show? It's been like 2 years since the season ended. 

 

2. Alright so I'm watching a show that ended like 20 years ago, why did they only add the first 5 seasons of the show and not all 11 seasons? 

 

I'm trying binge out on Netflix to pass the time and these damn people won't let me finish an entire series. 

 

2 words - licensing agreements

[Monochrome Spring]

I possibly lost the love of my life due to immaturity and poor decision making. I know it's my fault, but it's difficult to come to terms with the consequences. All I can bring myself to do anymore is sit at home and play games until 2am; doing poorly in classes, not keeping up with assignments for my advisor, etc. And I can't talk to anyone about it to help me feel better, because, in the end, I'm the bad guy. I just want to scream at everyone and tell them to forgive. I feel like I'm going to hate myself for the rest of my life.

[i_like_neurons]

I possibly lost the love of my life due to immaturity and poor decision making. I know it's my fault, but it's difficult to come to terms with the consequences. All I can bring myself to do anymore is sit at home and play games until 2am; doing poorly in classes, not keeping up with assignments for my advisor, etc. And I can't talk to anyone about it to help me feel better, because, in the end, I'm the bad guy. I just want to scream at everyone and tell them to forgive. I feel like I'm going to hate myself for the rest of my life.

I'm right there with you, except in my case, he was the bad guy and I'm the one left in pieces. I hate the effect that this is having on my school work. I had a major exam yesterday, and I couldn't even bring myself to study -- I binge watched House of Cards all week (I normally never watch TV) and I very likely failed my exam.

 

I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time. Just know that you're not alone, and that things WILL get better in time. 

[maelia8]

I'm the sort of person for whom the following is true: no matter how cranky or tired or upset or frustrated I am, I like being with other people and find it helpful/therapeutic to talk to someone when I'm feeling negative.

 

However, both my partner and my sister are the type who like to be alone and gets over negative feelings by unwinding in silence by themselves, and the more I reach out or chat or try to cheer them up or hug them or anything (things I would want if I were in their shoes), the more cranky and irritated they get and the more they push me away, even though it's not actually me they are upset with.

 

I've been trying to train myself for years to leave well alone, but it's hard to get over the feeling that I'm being pushed away and that's it's my fault that I can't seem to help them except by leaving them alone, which in turn makes me feel that I've failed to comfort or help and I start to get negative. It's a vicious cycle

[Marst]

I'm the sort of person for whom the following is true: no matter how cranky or tired or upset or frustrated I am, I like being with other people and find it helpful/therapeutic to talk to someone when I'm feeling negative.

 

However, both my partner and my sister are the type who like to be alone and gets over negative feelings by unwinding in silence by themselves, and the more I reach out or chat or try to cheer them up or hug them or anything (things I would want if I were in their shoes), the more cranky and irritated they get and the more they push me away, even though it's not actually me they are upset with.

 

I've been trying to train myself for years to leave well alone, but it's hard to get over the feeling that I'm being pushed away and that's it's my fault that I can't seem to help them except by leaving them alone, which in turn makes me feel that I've failed to comfort or help and I start to get negative. It's a vicious cycle

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. I am sure that your loved ones would appreciate you reaching out if only they were not feeling so down at that moment. I am more or less like your partner and sister in dealing with negative feelings, but that does not mean I do not appreciate people reaching out and recognizing what I am going through. It just means that I appreciate it even more if people would give me a break after recognizing it. There is no reason for either of you to feel bad about this. You could tell them you recognize something is wrong, and that they should let you know if there is anything you can do to help (or something similar). That's your share of the deal. Now, by not bugging them or forcing your company onto them, you let them have their share. Letting people take their distance, is not the same as being pushed away. It only becomes being pushed away after you keep bugging them.

[acetylcholine]

It looks like I may get rejected from everywhere AGAIN. (Biomed PhD, dev neuro.)

 

I graduated in 2014 with honors in the major, a 3.69, 167V/163Q/4.0W GREs, a second-author pub, great LORs (I think), three semesters of research, am taking some graduate courses...

 

And possibly for naught.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm seeing a therapist because this is causing me despair, and my mind is going to dark places.

 

Random people on the internet are asking me if I have some kind of mental disorder when they hear about this, which is bizarre because, hell, I've asked.  Multiple people.  INCLUDING my therapist.  To which the latter has said no, and I've asked even the most blunt people I know if I have other personal problems, and that's not it either.

 

I hear mixed messages about funding in my area.

 

I'm confused.

 

I'm beginning to develop very deep resentment toward people who got in the first time.

Edited March 1, 2015 by acetylcholine

[Catria]

I wonder why I didn't apply to Duke... knowing that the very real possibility of getting shut out of Ivies looms large, it drives me insane.

[acetylcholine]

Shut out of Ivies?  Oh please, I don't feel sorry for you.

[kimmibeans]

Shut out of Ivies?  Oh please, I don't feel sorry for you.

 

Catria wasn't complaining that they got shut out, only lamenting that they didn't apply to a school out of fear of being shut out. I know that you are nervous about hearing back from your schools, but don't take it out on others. Look, I've been in your shoes. Last year was my second application cycle and I only got into one school and that was off the wait list. I understand that you are freaking out, but you need to get over yourself. If you are having issues figuring out why you didn't get into your schools, call the admissions office for your programs and ask why you got rejected and what you can improve on. Most schools will be more than happy to answer your questions.

[acetylcholine]

 If you are having issues figuring out why you didn't get into your schools, call the admissions office for your programs and ask why you got rejected and what you can improve on. Most schools will be more than happy to answer your questions.

 

And I did.  I got some nebulous shit about fit, even when I thought I did my best to make it clear that I believed I would fit with a variety of labs.

Edited March 2, 2015 by acetylcholine

[FoggyAnhinga]

Shut out of Ivies?  Oh please, I don't feel sorry for you.

Wow, I believe saying that was quite uncalled for, also rude. Grow up.

 

I guess that brings me one thing to vent: people taking out on others because they're frustrated/angry, etc. I mean, what good does that do to people? It just makes you look angry at the world. 

Edited March 2, 2015 by FoggyAnhinga

[ERR_Alpha]

Shut out of Ivies?  Oh please, I don't feel sorry for you.

You have an interview that hasn't even happened yet. Channel your energy into preparing and doing awesome. Get off GradCafe if comparing yourself to others is hurting more than helping. All you can do now is work with what you have.

[ilovelab]

Shut out of Ivies?  Oh please, I don't feel sorry for you.

 Like ERR_ALPHA has said you have another interview coming up. U Florida IDP is a good program. You should be focusing on that interview. How have your other interviews gone? Have your conversations gone well?

[attackonthedoctor]

And I did.  I got some nebulous shit about fit, even when I thought I did my best to make it clear that I believed I would fit with a variety of labs.

Getting to my interview weekend was an absolute pain! It was the very first time a flight was canceled on me, let alone the day of having to be at the program. I had to improvise at 5am, when I'm not a morning person, to get there. I had traveled for over twelve hours, though I really just needed to go the next state over! It would've been easier if I had a car, but I don't. To top it off, the hotel that the program has prospectives stay messed up on the rooms, so I ended up sleeping on the couch the first night.

But in the end, it was worth the pain. I like the program and the official day of interviews went well. I was even able to impressed a rather stern professor that has a reputation of making prospectives cry with my knowledge, even though his area isn't a part of my interests!

The point I'm trying to make is that I could've made that whole experience bitter but I turned it into a learning experience to improve upon myself. In my case, it was tolerance of the unexpected.

Follow the advice of preparing well for your interviews, so you won't have any excuses other than fit. Also, when most talk of fit, they don't just mean with the lab. They also mean with the entire department style too.

Good luck and I wish you well!

[Cheshire_Cat]

What's with the spammers?  This is a form for grad students.  We are all nerds.  Why would we want muscle building things and age defying serums?  If you are going to span, spam us with something relevant at least, like cheap textbooks and free food or something...

[wuglife427]

I was supposed to take a 1-hr flight home from an Open House, but it got cancelled so I had to take an 8-hour train ride. Then there were no cabs at the train station because the roads were bad and it was the middle of the night, so I had to call my brother and get to his place so I could crash there (he lives close to the train station, I don't). Plus side: I got to see my brother, and I had 8 hours to think about the open house and what I want from a graduate school.

[mockturtle]

What's with the spammers?  This is a form for grad students.  We are all nerds.  Why would we want muscle building things and age defying serums?  If you are going to span, spam us with something relevant at least, like cheap textbooks and free food or something...

Hey, being a strong immortal nerd doesn't sound half bad to me!

(I'm with you though)

[Stonybrook4tw!]

Rejections via post but acceptances via email.

 

WHY? It is 2015. What is the logic behind wasting time and paper on people who are going to actively try to forget your answer right after they read it?

Just rip the band aid off quick and easy. Might as well send me a dunce cap and a McDonalds application if you are going to make the rejection physical anyways.

[FoggyAnhinga]

What's with the spammers?  This is a form for grad students.  We are all nerds.  Why would we want muscle building things and age defying serums?  If you are going to span, spam us with something relevant at least, like cheap textbooks and free food or something...

Lol I'm getting quite a few spam emails, including obvious scams (got a few emails about Queen Victoria fellowship for grad students which claim that they have several hundred million dollars and would like to distribute to me if I provide my bank account info, lol... thanks but no thanks, I can see right through their lies). I check my spam folder frequently since I've had a few POI emails end up in that folder but now with an incoming onslaught of scams this is getting more annoying.

[Page228]

Rejections via post but acceptances via email.

 

WHY? It is 2015. What is the logic behind wasting time and paper on people who are going to actively try to forget your answer right after they read it?

Just rip the band aid off quick and easy. Might as well send me a dunce cap and a McDonalds application if you are going to make the rejection physical anyways.

Seriously. I can handle being rejected, but must they also send me trash to process?

[attackonthedoctor]

Rejections via post but acceptances via email.

 

WHY? It is 2015. What is the logic behind wasting time and paper on people who are going to actively try to forget your answer right after they read it?

Just rip the band aid off quick and easy. Might as well send me a dunce cap and a McDonalds application if you are going to make the rejection physical anyways.

 

I don't understand this either.  Are they expecting us to frame their rejection letters for all to see?