WINE, WAIT, AND WHINE THREAD

[FoxAndChicken]

Just now, thepinkdragon76 said:

I think we have made this more of a congrats and what now thread. Congrats to you! I am trying to figure out funding now. Applying for scholarships in hopes of avoiding student loans.

Oh good! I'm applying for a couple, but also have asked my new department if I can TA and grade at the same time, which means I only need to come up with 4k + living expenses for the entire program. Which isn't bad at all. 

[mini monkey]

On 3/25/2016 at 11:17 PM, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I think I've hit my quarter-life crisis... my friend is going to be dyeing my hair blue next weekend. This would be hilarious if you all knew me... super conservative, thick glasses, never so much as worn makeup or gotten highlights... my only regret is that my research advisors may dye (pun intended) of shock!

 

Also on an unrelated note, I wonder if anyone shares the same irrational fear as me... the fear that when I'm asleep, I'll start sending e-mails while I'm asleep or something and accidentally send something incredibly rude to a potential PI or something... no one?

I say go for it! Before I left to do research, I had long black hair with no visible tattoos. Came back 3 months later with a pixie cut dyed blue and two large portrait tattoos! My advisor did a triple-take; we agreed to meet in the lab a week after my return and he passed it three times thinking I was someone else! He had nothing but good things to say about it, though. Same with my department; they love the colored hair. With Ph.D. applications, it made me stand out apparently in a good way. 

[hippyscientist]

@thepinkdragon76 and @FoxAndChicken yay for acceptances - we have another thread going for those who've decided so not to bug people who are still waiting.

I have no helpful information about scholarships - but pink dragon, it may be worth communicating with the school and saying what you've said here? 

[charlemagne88]

So as of today I'm still waiting on two schools with not so much as a peep from either. It's safe to assume I'm not accepted right? The program that I got accepted into asked that I reply by April first so that they can notify someone on the waitlist if I decide not to accept. Should I write the other schools and ask them why they're taking their sweet A$$ time getting back to people? (after all, I did pay like $200 in fee's and transcripts so I feel like their delay is incredibly rude). 

 

by the way, no one has posted on the results tab either, which leads me to believe that they haven't sent out anything at all yet..... ugh

Edited March 30, 2016 by charlemagne88

[SunshineLolipops]

Waiting for any notification whatsoever from three programs and on the waitlist for a fourth.  I think If I wasn't waitlisted at the top ranked school to which I applied, I wouldn't be filled with this dangerous sense of false hope of being on some kind of mythical "secret waitlist."  Also one program I applied to had some kind of hiccup with their admissions this year, has sent out no rejections at all, and doesn't expect to send out any other notifications of any kind until much closer to April 15th.  Thankfully this should all be over in a couple weeks, so I can get on with my life.

Edited March 31, 2016 by SunshineLolipops

[belles]

today I got a $3,000 scholarship that I didn't even know existed 

[Euler]

On 3/30/2016 at 2:47 PM, charlemagne88 said:

So as of today I'm still waiting on two schools with not so much as a peep from either. It's safe to assume I'm not accepted right? The program that I got accepted into asked that I reply by April first so that they can notify someone on the waitlist if I decide not to accept. Should I write the other schools and ask them why they're taking their sweet A$$ time getting back to people? (after all, I did pay like $200 in fee's and transcripts so I feel like their delay is incredibly rude). 

 

by the way, no one has posted on the results tab either, which leads me to believe that they haven't sent out anything at all yet..... ugh

It's definitely acceptable at this point to email them if you haven't heard anything back. No peep at all could be a waist list as well- NC state told me I had about a 50/50 shot of whether I'll get a funded offer, but only after I sent an email asking about my application status.

Of course, five other schools also didn't even reply to my emails...I guess there's only so much you can do. And yeah, the lack of any response this late sucks with how much applications cost!

[charlemagne88]

11 hours ago, Euler said:

It's definitely acceptable at this point to email them if you haven't heard anything back. No peep at all could be a waist list as well- NC state told me I had about a 50/50 shot of whether I'll get a funded offer, but only after I sent an email asking about my application status.

Of course, five other schools also didn't even reply to my emails...I guess there's only so much you can do. And yeah, the lack of any response this late sucks with how much applications cost!

Any suggestions how I start that email? I have no idea what to even say other than: So uh, am I in or what!? 

[Euler]

1 minute ago, charlemagne88 said:

Any suggestions how I start that email? I have no idea what to even say other than: So uh, am I in or what!? 

I basically asked in mine whether there was anything they were missing from me, and whether I should expect a decision soon. I put the burden as heavily on myself as I could, to not sound pushy.

It's definitely an awkward email to send!

[geobro]

So far no responses from any of my schools, so I emailed them. One said my application is under review and I would get an email when a decision is made. Another said mine was ready for the review stage. And the next said they would continue to make rolling decisions until May 31.

Does this mean there is still hope? am I waitlisted, or are they just waiting till the end to send me rejections?

[ChrisTOEFert]

13 hours ago, geobro said:

So far no responses from any of my schools, so I emailed them. One said my application is under review and I would get an email when a decision is made. Another said mine was ready for the review stage. And the next said they would continue to make rolling decisions until May 31.

Does this mean there is still hope? am I waitlisted, or are they just waiting till the end to send me rejections?

It honestly could be any of those three scenarios, nobody knows that goes on behind the doors of adcom meetings.  From what I understand, schools usually do things in waves. Wave one is usually the definite must-haves and the definite no's.  Wave 2 results only seem to come out once they get some feedback from the first group (usually declines of offers for students who already have a better offer or the program just seems like a very general fit), and they will send admits to those high up on a waitlist and await their response.  Wave 3 is basically the same as wave 2, where you'll only hear if you're kind mid-high on the list.  Chances of getting funding at this point are usually pretty low (for U.S. universities I understand) because most of the money is going to the first two waves.  After this, they probably send out a second wave of rejections based upon how many people are on the waitlist versus how many more open spots they have.  Using admission statistics from previous years they can calculate how many offers will be accepted versus how many admits they offer.  The final wave of admits is usually after April 15th as you've had everyone make their decisions and then they see if there's funding/spots for a few more students who are middle-y on the wait list.  They probably give them until the end of the month to decide or so.  Once everyone has accepted or declined based on the offered positions, then comes the final wave of rejections that is pretty common from mid-April until the end of May.

Personally, my rule of thumb is, if you haven't heard back by now, you're probably either on a waitlist (and low on that list) or you are rejected and they are just sending out all the rejections en-masse at the end once they know who is attending officially.  In my opinion, if they really wanted you, they wouldn't risk sending out an offer so late in the game when you could be snatched up by someone else right from under their nose.  But again, what do I know?  I've never been on or seen one of these committees.  Good luck and I hope it works out.

Edited April 2, 2016 by ChrisTOEFert

[caleugenides]

Welp I just asked for an extension on my admission/TAship deadline (because I'm still waiting on the April 15th wait list results from the other uni) and it went about as horribly as possible. I definitely feel like I offended the department, not to say that they were conspicuously upset about my request for an extension, but they certainly weren't thrilled about it. I just feel like I'm being a giant nuisance, and I think I'm frustrating them with the amount of emails I'm sending out. Curse my indecisive nature...I think I'll just accept their offer, but now I feel like there's this "bad energy" and that's exactly what I wanted to avoid when I was trying to decide whether or not to ask for an extension. Honestly I just feel terrible. I love the program I got accepted to, I just wanted to see if I'd get into the other program because it's a little bigger.  Also I misspelled the initials of the university twice (I have no idea why), so that definitely didn't help.

Edited April 4, 2016 by caleugenides

[tsatsang2129]

3 hours ago, caleugenides said:

Welp I just asked for an extension on my admission/TAship deadline (because I'm still waiting on the April 15th wait list results from the other uni) and it went about as horribly as possible. I definitely feel like I offended the department, not to say that they were conspicuously upset about my request for an extension, but they certainly weren't thrilled about it. I just feel like I'm being a giant nuisance, and I think I'm frustrating them with the amount of emails I'm sending out. Curse my indecisive nature...I think I'll just accept their offer, but now I feel like there's this "bad energy" and that's exactly what I wanted to avoid when I was trying to decide whether or not to ask for an extension. Honestly I just feel terrible. I love the program I got accepted to, I just wanted to see if I'd get into the other program because it's a little bigger.  Also I misspelled the initials of the university twice (I have no idea why), so that definitely didn't help.

Would you mind sharing how they responded?

[ChrisTOEFert]

5 hours ago, caleugenides said:

Welp I just asked for an extension on my admission/TAship deadline (because I'm still waiting on the April 15th wait list results from the other uni) and it went about as horribly as possible. I definitely feel like I offended the department, not to say that they were conspicuously upset about my request for an extension, but they certainly weren't thrilled about it. I just feel like I'm being a giant nuisance, and I think I'm frustrating them with the amount of emails I'm sending out. Curse my indecisive nature...I think I'll just accept their offer, but now I feel like there's this "bad energy" and that's exactly what I wanted to avoid when I was trying to decide whether or not to ask for an extension. Honestly I just feel terrible. I love the program I got accepted to, I just wanted to see if I'd get into the other program because it's a little bigger.  Also I misspelled the initials of the university twice (I have no idea why), so that definitely didn't help.

 

2 hours ago, tsatsang2129 said:

Would you mind sharing how they responded?

Yes, please do.  Surely they get a handful of these emails each year, they should be used to it.  If possible, would you mind submitting what you sent and what they sent back (obviously with initials, shorthands, and any other identifying info blacked out)?  Maybe you're just reading too much into it. On the other hand, if they've given you a couple of months maybe they are frustrated because they know you're dragging it out to hear from another program, which isn't rude, it's entirely your right to do that, but I could see how it could get mildly irritating for them.  Having said that, they shouldn't have given you an April 15th deadline then if they didn't want to adhere to it. 

[yield]

4 hours ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

Having said that, they shouldn't have given you an April 15th deadline then if they didn't want to adhere to it. 

Hi,

Could you please clarify what you meant with this? Is it that they usually give the April 15th deadline if they do really want the student, or the other way around?

[ETRXRock]

1 hour ago, caleugenides said:

@tsatsang2129 @ChrisTOEFert

This is the email I sent 

" Good afternoon Professor X,

 

I'm sorry to bother you, especially with an email like this, but would your  program be able to give me an extension on my April 15th admission decision deadline, perhaps until April 30th? I was reading the TA award email and it says that I am able to accept the award and then later rescind it, is that correct? I assume that I'll be okay with respect to the TA award if I rescind it later, but I'm not really sure if I have to do something different for the MA program itself; is there an extension for that or can I later rescind it (or neither)? 

 

I'm just waiting for the results from another university (the only other program I'm considering now apart from your university), and as I might have said before I don't expect to get an award/position that's good enough to make me choose that program instead because the award from X university is very nice! Nonetheless, I just wanted to have all my bases covered and I figured I'd ask to see if it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience to ask for an extension! If it's not possible, I completely understand" 

 

I know it makes you depend entirely on my word, but I don't really want to quote the response word for word. Essentially the department head responded and said that if I don't accept the award they could also lose their #2 choice because they didn't get an award and might choose somewhere else. It sounds like he wasn't really sure if I'm able to ask for extension or not because (as it seems to me) he doesn't regularly have grad students asking for an extension. He CC'd other professors in the department, but they haven't responded yet. They're definitely adhering to the April 15th deadline, but I'm asking for an extension beyond that. Again, I'm definitely not saying that the tone of the email was negative or even passive-aggressive, but I just feel...bad, I guess? I think part of the reason I feel bad is because I'm 99% sure I won't get the TAship I want from the other university, and even if I get one it's likely to be a position that I don't really need/want. So, I just feel like I'm holding up the process for nothing, and I think that comes across in my email a little too obviously as well. It's just frustrating because I really thought I had a TAship in the bag for the other university.

 

It's also frustrating because if I can't get an extension, I'll never know if I got the position at the other university. I mean, it wouldn't make sense to check back in on April 15th to see if I got the position and then reject it assuming I get it. I would always live with that "what if?" On a different note, one of my friends said I should have just accepted the offer and the program admission without mentioning my doubts and if I get the position at the other university I could just rescind. Personally I feel like that's a really low thing to do, but I also feel like bringing it up before the deadline has put the program into a mini panic over whether or not I will accept. Not to mention the fact that since (it seems like) they've never dealt with this before, it's extra work for them.... 

 

I have too much time on my hands to think. I guess I'll wait for the CC'd contacts to respond.

I honestly think you just sent a bunch of stuff and wasted the professor's time, pending he read it all. You should have gone more straight to the point. You did not express much interest to their university either.

[caleugenides]

@ETRXRock We had been emailing before this, so I did state my interest before this deadline extension request. Granted, I should have reinstated my interest in their program in this email. The professor did read my entire email because he responded to it line by line. I definitely agree with you, I should have been more direct.  

[MarineBluePsy]

1 hour ago, caleugenides said:

@ETRXRock We had been emailing before this, so I did state my interest before this deadline extension request. Granted, I should have reinstated my interest in their program in this email. The professor did read my entire email because he responded to it line by line. I definitely agree with you, I should have been more direct.  

Yeah I agree that your email sounded like you weren't interested in committing to School 1 and had just been holding up a space and funding while waiting for a better offer.  Sure you said you're more interested in School 1, but the wording choice didn't sound genuine.  

I understand wanting to make an informed decision and you can't do that if School 2 hasn't given you a decision and/or funding information.  This close to 4/15 I think it would have been better to contact School 2 and push them for a decision because while you're interested in their program you don't want to keep holding other offers if they're interested in you.  If they kept telling you they couldn't provide a decision sooner and gave you no hint that you might be their top choice then it was time to cut your losses with them and accept School 1.

[caleugenides]

@MarineBluePsy I was accepted to the other program, I'm just on a wait list for the TAship position for it; the POI told me that I had a "good chance" of getting the position, but I guess that's a vague answer. Even when I pressed her for my position in the wait list a week ago I was still given a vague answer that I have a "good chance" and I should check back in on April 15th. I never thought that maybe I was really low on the wait list, but now I can see that I probably am, especially because they have a lot of second-year students who are given preference. I thought it was perfectly okay to ask other universities if I could have an extension on my decision, but I'm definitely seeing now that my email was very poorly worded; also, since I'm waiting on something that will probably never materialize, I'm also wasting everyone's time. At this point I've woken up and smelled the coffee; I'm going to accept my position at the university that already offered me funding. I'm just not sure how to proceed. I still haven't gotten a response from the other CC'd professors about the extension, and I feel like it might be hasty to just accept the admission before they even send me a response. I owe the department an apology as well. 

[MarineBluePsy]

@caleugenides  Don't beat yourself up too much.  You've learned something from all of this and now its time to move forward.  Did School 1 give you a contract/offer letter or anything to sign indicating your acceptance?  If so then I would sign it and fax it to them, then immediately send an email to all interested parties saying that you have just signed and submitted your offer and look forward to joining the team in the fall.  Also briefly apologize for any confusion on your end during the decision making as it has been a stressful process and you're happy to be part of a great team.  End email.  No rambling.  No questions.  Shhhh!  Then just let them do departmental stuff and wait for them to reach out to you regarding signing up for classes, orientation, moving, etc.

[laconia]

The program I applied to sent out an email mid-March saying they'd finish up reviewing applications within the next couple weeks and that we should expect to receive admissions decisions around the first week of April.  "Around the first week of April" is a little vague to me... could be before that week, could be sometime this week, could be a little after this week.  I had a good rapport with one of the professors in the program who very strongly encouraged me to apply.. this professor is also on admissions committee and in a casual back/forth exchange a few weeks ago, they told me I was in the "unofficial" yes pile.  If I don't hear back by the end of this week, do you guys think it'd be okay to email admissions to ask for a status update, or should I just wait it out until the 15th?

Edited April 6, 2016 by laconia

[ChrisTOEFert]

On 4/4/2016 at 0:22 PM, yield said:

Hi,

Could you please clarify what you meant with this? Is it that they usually give the April 15th deadline if they do really want the student, or the other way around?

If you've been accepted, you've been accepted and they want you.  Simple as that.  If they didn't want you, they wouldn't have offered you admission!  What I was getting at for the poster was that they could choose to answer them up until the end of the business day on April 15th.  If the university took offense to that and acted all annoyed that they hadn't decided yet, they should not have offered the poster the option of thinking on it for so long.  

If you have an Apr. 15th deadline, it does not mean you are less of a candidate than other students whom may have earlier deadlines.  Conversely, if you still haven't heard yet that doesn't mean you should abandon ALL hope.  Admissions do rarely continue until end of April to mid-May.  So just relax

[ChrisTOEFert]

On 4/5/2016 at 8:34 PM, caleugenides said:

@tsatsang2129 @ChrisTOEFert

This is the email I sent 

" Good afternoon Professor X,

 

I'm sorry to bother you, especially with an email like this, but would your  program be able to give me an extension on my April 15th admission decision deadline, perhaps until April 30th? I was reading the TA award email and it says that I am able to accept the award and then later rescind it, is that correct? I assume that I'll be okay with respect to the TA award if I rescind it later, but I'm not really sure if I have to do something different for the MA program itself; is there an extension for that or can I later rescind it (or neither)? 

 

I'm just waiting for the results from another university (the only other program I'm considering now apart from your university), and as I might have said before I don't expect to get an award/position that's good enough to make me choose that program instead because the award from X university is very nice! Nonetheless, I just wanted to have all my bases covered and I figured I'd ask to see if it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience to ask for an extension! If it's not possible, I completely understand" 

 

I know it makes you depend entirely on my word, but I don't really want to quote the response word for word. Essentially the department head responded and said that if I don't accept the award they could also lose their #2 choice because they didn't get an award and might choose somewhere else. It sounds like he wasn't really sure if I'm able to ask for extension or not because (as it seems to me) he doesn't regularly have grad students asking for an extension. He CC'd other professors in the department, but they haven't responded yet. They're definitely adhering to the April 15th deadline, but I'm asking for an extension beyond that. Again, I'm definitely not saying that the tone of the email was negative or even passive-aggressive, but I just feel...bad, I guess? I think part of the reason I feel bad is because I'm 99% sure I won't get the TAship I want from the other university, and even if I get one it's likely to be a position that I don't really need/want. So, I just feel like I'm holding up the process for nothing, and I think that comes across in my email a little too obviously as well. It's just frustrating because I really thought I had a TAship in the bag for the other university.

 

It's also frustrating because if I can't get an extension, I'll never know if I got the position at the other university. I mean, it wouldn't make sense to check back in on April 15th to see if I got the position and then reject it assuming I get it. I would always live with that "what if?" On a different note, one of my friends said I should have just accepted the offer and the program admission without mentioning my doubts and if I get the position at the other university I could just rescind. Personally I feel like that's a really low thing to do, but I also feel like bringing it up before the deadline has put the program into a mini panic over whether or not I will accept. Not to mention the fact that since (it seems like) they've never dealt with this before, it's extra work for them.... 

 

I have too much time on my hands to think. I guess I'll wait for the CC'd contacts to respond.

I think you expressed your concerns well enough.  I think what makes you seem like a "nuisance" as you may have said earlier, is that you are waiting on the other school, even though you're positive the stipend and TA money will not be enough to match School 1.  If I was a prof, I'd be a little irritated at that statement, and wondering why you're wasting my time with this when you're probably going to choose us anyway, OR, you're just dragging us along and then you're going to reject us at the last minute so we can't fill the empty spot.  Especially that accept and then rescind bit about the offer, that would really bother me because then you are definitely leaving us up a creek without a paddle because now we lost you, your funding, and have no way to offer it to anyone else since it is passed when most students would accept.  

So here's what I would do before making any hasty decisions!:

1) E-mail the school you are waitlisted at.  E-mail the grad director/person in charge of getting you funding.  9 times out of 10 this is not your supervisor, and they usually pay no attention to stuff like that (especially at the end of the semester).  Get a firm answer about your chances of getting off of the waitlist, and underscore that you cannot wait until April 15th, you need an answer yesterday.  In as polite a way as possible, of course (also, no rambling like in email one, get to the point and don't give them too many details).  Also, ask them, based on your position how much you could approximately expect to be awarded.  That way when you get your answer it'll be something like "you are 4th on the waitlist and expect to see $2000 a semester for 3 semesters (fall, spring, summer) your first year if you get it.  You must re-apply in year 2, etc."  That way you have something concrete to make a decision on, instead of hoping you get an award that is at present, unknown in value.

2) Sit on your hands and DO NOT e-mail school 1 again.  Sending them another one at this point before having any more information is just going to come off as irritating.  Wait until you hear from School 2, and if you still get a wishy-washy response, ask to be pulled from the waitlist on School 2 and decline the offer. That way you have no way of knowing what their offer is going to be, so there is no "buyers remorse" so to speak.  It's done, official, and you are now have your decision.  Send School 1 a new email, new title etc.  saying that you are accepting their offer, and you are excited to be working with them.  I personally wouldn't apologize for anything.  You haven't really done anything wrong.  It's not like you actually accepted and then rescinded.  Just a polite email stating your intent to pursue, your excitement about the program, and a thank you for answering all of your questions.  

Good luck.

Edited April 6, 2016 by ChrisTOEFert

[yield]

@ChrisTOEFert Thanks for the clarification! I've just noticed that I had misread your quoted sentence, I guess I thought it was something like "*you* adhere to it". But I appreciate your words.

@caleugenides, I am in a similar situation, although my message to school 1 was more succinct, I still can see myself in your position.

@MarineBluePsy and @ChrisTOEFert gave you very good advise and I would do like they say, specifically, I wouldn't wait until April 15th to accept the offer and send the e-mail to school 1, i.e., assuming you don't get a positive and interesting offer from school 2 meanwhile. I think if you don't wait until the 15th, it would give them a hint that you made a firm decision, and that would be your implicit apologise. Good luck!

Edited April 7, 2016 by yield

[Formosus]

Holy crap guys! My number 1 choice!!!