Peanut

Anyone else feeling hopeless?

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Hey all. This is my second year applying. As you can see from my signature, last season I applied to 11 programs and got accepted to one with minimal funding, so I did not attend. This year I applied to only 6 programs, and I've already received 2 rejections and 1 waitlist.

So, as a result of these setbacks, I'm feeling a bit....hopeless. After last year's episode, all I want is good news, but I don't know if it will ever come. Does anyone else feel as miserable as I do?

Edited by Peanut

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I totally understand... I applied to 5 programs, and have received 3 rejections with no sign of any interviews/admits from the last two either. I am devastated... I should have invested more in a "Plan B"... And it kills me to see people talking about how they are upset that they didn't get into their dream school but got admits from numerous other places when I am desperate for one offer from anywhere I applied to. I am right there with you in the misery category.

During my whole application process everyone was so encouraging that I had a very strong application, and then to come out of this empty handed... It hurts. Badly. I also cannot afford to just wait it out and apply again next year. I have to go get a job. And given bio jobs are pretty limited for people with just a Bachelor's degree, I might have to switch fields if I can't find anything that is relevant to my studies. Talk about having an existential crisis (day after day).

I am so sorry your second round of this has been rough yet again... It is embarrassing to talk about failures (for me at least), especially when people are more than happy to share their numerous successes. But, you are not alone at least. Hopefully you hear good news from your other 3 programs very soon!

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that really sucks dude, I only applied and am waiting for a single dream admit for a professional program but i'd imagine your agony is mine x10 :(

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The last time I applied, I applied to ten programs where I had identified 2+ professors at each institution that would be a good fit, and were doing work specifically in my field. I was a shut-out, that's what they called it at the time. I was in a unique position to be specially qualified to do work in that area, so I was beyond depressed about it. I got physically sick for a few months and was really mopey. I didn't think I would apply again, but here I am, a few years later, trying again. I have no hopeful responses yet. I don't know if I'll get it, but I know I won't be as bummed out this time as I was last time, because I'm not shooting as high and my expectations have already been shattered. I'm starting to accept that maybe this isn't for me and that some of the minimum wage jobs I've had in my life were more intellectually challenging than a lot of my classes anyways, so maybe I would be more satisfied just going back to work. There's a lot of important things to think about, but hopelessness is one of those lame emotions that I try not to let eat me up. Of course, if you need to do it for a while, that can be therapeutic too. I always made sure I had backups so that I would never be too miserable no matter what happened. But I know a lot of people don't do that.

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I'm with you. Even though I haven't received anything yet, I know that I'm rejected from the first three schools I've applied. It seems I'm going to get the same result from my 4th school too. Rejection is hurting me a lot. I can't concentrate on anything all day and I feel like I'm falling into crippling depression.

Edited by hexaninja

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I've received two rejections and one implied rejection. Only really waiting to hear back from a PhD program that's notoriously difficult to get into and an MS program that's also difficult to get into. I'm pretty much resigned to not being successful this cycle and planning out my applications for next year. I do think I'm lucky in that I'll have an MA after this spring and contract work is common in my field, so I could feasibly work over the year without abandoning a job if I do get into a program next cycle. It still hurts to be rejected, but I'm hoping the final rejections will come at the same time so I can mope and be miserable for a weekend while freaking out about my future and then just move on to the next steps. 

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9 hours ago, LadyScientist said:

And it kills me to see people talking about how they are upset that they didn't get into their dream school but got admits from numerous other places when I am desperate for one offer from anywhere I applied to. I am right there with you in the misery category.

 

This!!!

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I relate to this thread so deeply! I applied last season and got 4/4 rejections. This season I have an admittedly much stronger application, but so far I've had 1 interview and silence from the other 2 programs so I'm still just 3? and it's agonizing. 

 

On the one hand I'm happy to have dodged some first round rejections (last year I was not so lucky), but my optimism is fading that news this late could be good news? Or am I just corrupted by all the noise? idk. 

Edited by krystasonrisa
Grammar

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11 hours ago, krystasonrisa said:

I relate to this thread so deeply! I applied last season and got 4/4 rejections. This season I have an admittedly much stronger application, but so far I've had 1 interview and silence from the other 2 programs so I'm still just 3? and it's agonizing. 

 

On the one hand I'm happy to have dodged some first round rejections (last year I was not so lucky), but my optimism is fading that news this late could be good news? Or am I just corrupted by all the noise? idk. 

Idk. I applied last year as well and I got most of my rejections in March. People kept saying "no news might be good news!" but that wasn't the case with me.

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First of all, this thread feels like therapy <3

I also applied to 4 Phd programs, and a master program, and received only one rejection from a Phd program as of yet. I know that I was the second choice of a professor in an Ivy League, but he had funding for one student, and that student had some publications, while I had 3 years of lab work and a summer internship in US with a very well known professor in my field, who gave me a LOR, but no publication. So I am assuming rejections from the other 2 Phd programs, and will see about the tuition waiver of the masters program (which is not very likely, honestly)

There are two things that's bothering me so so much; if my application was as competitive as to be the second choice of an Ivy League program, how come I never received any interviews from mid-tier schoold that also fit my research interests? I really don't understand how this system works at all. And secondly, as an international student, I really did everything I could-the gre, the internships, the SOP etc-, but there are so many handicaps! Despite being in the best university in my country, which is also an American university, we don't write a thesis in undergrad, and we usually have no opportunity for poster presentation as an undergrad - that 'privilage' is usually reserved for masters or phd students, and also the travel costs tend to be very high- let alone a publication. I really feel like in order to get accepted, the stars need to align a certain way, and then some more.

I am sorry for venting, but really, if there will be other internationals reading this and feeling better by doing so, it would be enough.

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I think it's a combo of the powers that be and the fit of the student. I'd hope you mentioned specific prof you wanna work with, you apply to professors just as much as the school and lots of apps are not always better.  That being said, I know that you will end up the place that's the best fit, and I hope you get to go where you want and accomplish your dreams :) You're awesome!  and life is gonna be okay no matter what, you're gonna be okay. 

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15 hours ago, CoyoteBlue said:

I think it's a combo of the powers that be and the fit of the student. I'd hope you mentioned specific prof you wanna work with, you apply to professors just as much as the school and lots of apps are not always better.  That being said, I know that you will end up the place that's the best fit, and I hope you get to go where you want and accomplish your dreams :) You're awesome!  and life is gonna be okay no matter what, you're gonna be okay. 

Thank you for the support! And I did mention the specific prof. :)

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There's one prof who I really want to work with at the school that I got waitlisted at. She only became part of the faculty in 2015, so Idk how much "weight" she has in the decision-making process. There are other faculty I'd be compatible with as well with this program.

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Applied to 13 phd programs and so far all rejections. I have a feeling I'm waitlisted on a couple and won't get accepted anywhere. Feel the same as others in the thread. Many people who know me all thought i had a very competitive profile, yet I felt I failed to live up to their expectation. Feeling very hopeless, the anxiety and uncertainty is eating me alive.

Edited by coolgod

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Where was this for the past month :P So yes I am also as hopeless but my situation is much complicated. I applied to only one school in the US because I did a research visit over the summer their and the PI was so encouraging and told me not to worry about not getting in but until now its total silence. So after getting hopeless since mid-January I started applying to schools in Canada to make sure Im gonna end up somewhere and as time is passing and none of the 3 schools replied yet the depression is at a maximum. Everyone is telling be to be patient but HOW?

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On 2/19/2017 at 3:54 PM, Lucyshoneypie said:

First of all, this thread feels like therapy <3

I also applied to 4 Phd programs, and a master program, and received only one rejection from a Phd program as of yet. I know that I was the second choice of a professor in an Ivy League, but he had funding for one student, and that student had some publications, while I had 3 years of lab work and a summer internship in US with a very well known professor in my field, who gave me a LOR, but no publication. So I am assuming rejections from the other 2 Phd programs, and will see about the tuition waiver of the masters program (which is not very likely, honestly)

There are two things that's bothering me so so much; if my application was as competitive as to be the second choice of an Ivy League program, how come I never received any interviews from mid-tier schoold that also fit my research interests? I really don't understand how this system works at all. And secondly, as an international student, I really did everything I could-the gre, the internships, the SOP etc-, but there are so many handicaps! Despite being in the best university in my country, which is also an American university, we don't write a thesis in undergrad, and we usually have no opportunity for poster presentation as an undergrad - that 'privilage' is usually reserved for masters or phd students, and also the travel costs tend to be very high- let alone a publication. I really feel like in order to get accepted, the stars need to align a certain way, and then some more.

I am sorry for venting, but really, if there will be other internationals reading this and feeling better by doing so, it would be enough.

Its exactly the same situation with me  but I am in Chemistry

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I'm feeling a bit hopeless right now myself. I see that in all the programs that I have applied to at least one person has been accepted or one person has been offered an interview. My totals thus far are pretty bleak:

0/6a, 0/6wl, 2r, 4/6 no word =/

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On 2/19/2017 at 2:54 PM, Lucyshoneypie said:

First of all, this thread feels like therapy <3

I also applied to 4 Phd programs, and a master program, and received only one rejection from a Phd program as of yet. I know that I was the second choice of a professor in an Ivy League, but he had funding for one student, and that student had some publications, while I had 3 years of lab work and a summer internship in US with a very well known professor in my field, who gave me a LOR, but no publication. So I am assuming rejections from the other 2 Phd programs, and will see about the tuition waiver of the masters program (which is not very likely, honestly)

There are two things that's bothering me so so much; if my application was as competitive as to be the second choice of an Ivy League program, how come I never received any interviews from mid-tier schoold that also fit my research interests? I really don't understand how this system works at all. And secondly, as an international student, I really did everything I could-the gre, the internships, the SOP etc-, but there are so many handicaps! Despite being in the best university in my country, which is also an American university, we don't write a thesis in undergrad, and we usually have no opportunity for poster presentation as an undergrad - that 'privilage' is usually reserved for masters or phd students, and also the travel costs tend to be very high- let alone a publication. I really feel like in order to get accepted, the stars need to align a certain way, and then some more.

I am sorry for venting, but really, if there will be other internationals reading this and feeling better by doing so, it would be enough.

I understand. I'm in the same situation. I thought my profile was strong and I just got a reject from my "safety" school's PhD program. 

Impressing graduate committees as an international in difficult, but what can we do except hope that whatever is happening is for the better.  

Good luck to all in this season of anxiety. :)

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3 hours ago, coolgod said:

Applied to 13 phd programs and so far all rejections. I have a feeling I'm waitlisted on a couple and won't get accepted anywhere. Feel the same as others in the thread. Many people who know me all thought i had a very competitive profile, yet I felt I failed to live up to their expectation. Feeling very hopeless, the anxiety and uncertainty is eating me alive.

IIRC you are the one with the super specific research interest in quantum computing, right? I think in the end you'll be fine, but you probably have not given admissions committees much to work with. Do they have reason to admit you if one PI in your field isn't looking for students? Hopefully you inquired about opening with the specific PIs before applying?

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This is my first time around and have had two interviews, so I feel lucky for that, but I have already been rejected from one and am still waiting on the other. I can see some definite chinks in my interview armor from the second school and I am afraid of the answer I will get back.

I have not heard from most of my programs at all, but it looks like all but two have already had an interview weekend.

0a | 0w | 3r out of 11 applications

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I completely understand ALL of this. I applied to 8 programs about 6 years ago when I finished my first master's degree, and I was rejected outright from all 8. I was devastated, had no plan B, and ended up working retail for quite some time before getting my crap together.

This time around, I only applied to 3. My application was very strong, and I focused on it more, but I still was rejected outright from Yale. I'm waitlisted at UConn, so we'll see there (last time they just rejected me), and I haven't heard from Brandeis. But since another person on this forum was waitlisted for their program, I'm assuming I was rejected and they're just taking their sweet time telling me. 

I didn't think I was going to apply again after the first time, and then 6 years later, here I am. But I'm 32 now, and I really don't think I have it in me to do this again. So while I'm not as devastated this time around, I AM disappointed. And I am starting to wonder if this is really what I'm meant to do. 

 

Tl;dr: Right there with you, OP.

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I've been rejected to all 4 schools I applied for. I got very valuable feedback and I'm going to try again next year, but I feel anxious. What if I get rejected again next year...I can't go on forever. 

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