Tough Decisions

[Romaniac]

For those who have been accepted to a couple of programs already, how tough is the decision that lies before you? If you had to choose today, would your choice of which program to commit to be straight-forward, or do you, like me, break out in a cold sweat late at night mulling over the various knowns and unknowns that influence your decision? What is it that keeps you up at night?

For me, I am an undergrad just finishing the year, but I am married with an infant son. Since my wife is not working right now, funding in general and health care in particular are definitely major factors in my decision-making process. Although I am still waiting on a few more schools (I have heard from 8 of 14), I am trying to decide right now between Wisconsin and UNC. I was offered 5 years of funding to UNC and none for UW, and I think that Chapel Hill would be a bit more amenable to my Floridian temperament and maybe more family friendly(?) On the other hand, my research preferences are pretty flexible, and I am very interested in the Sociology of Economic Change and Development program at UW. Plus, from what I have been told, UW is definitely a step up from UNC when it comes to resources and placement. I am just a bit daunted by the prospect of having to compete for funding every year, or semester at UW. Moreover, I have heard that there is a fairly high attrition rate for the Wisconsin program. Does anyone have any insight into why that might be? Of course, I am going to start emailing current students and professors in the next couple of weeks, but I thought I might ask here first.

What are other people stressing over? Or am I the only one feeling this torn even before I hear back from everywhere I want to go.

[exposingfalsehoods]

For those who have been accepted to a couple of programs already, how tough is the decision that lies before you? If you had to choose today, would your choice of which program to commit to be straight-forward, or do you, like me, break out in a cold sweat late at night mulling over the various knowns and unknowns that influence your decision? What is it that keeps you up at night?

For me, I am an undergrad just finishing the year, but I am married with an infant son. Since my wife is not working right now, funding in general and health care in particular are definitely major factors in my decision-making process. Although I am still waiting on a few more schools (I have heard from 8 of 14), I am trying to decide right now between Wisconsin and UNC. I was offered 5 years of funding to UNC and none for UW, and I think that Chapel Hill would be a bit more amenable to my Floridian temperament and maybe more family friendly(?) On the other hand, my research preferences are pretty flexible, and I am very interested in the Sociology of Economic Change and Development program at UW. Plus, from what I have been told, UW is definitely a step up from UNC when it comes to resources and placement. I am just a bit daunted by the prospect of having to compete for funding every year, or semester at UW. Moreover, I have heard that there is a fairly high attrition rate for the Wisconsin program. Does anyone have any insight into why that might be? Of course, I am going to start emailing current students and professors in the next couple of weeks, but I thought I might ask here first.

What are other people stressing over? Or am I the only one feeling this torn even before I hear back from everywhere I want to go.

I did not apply to any sociology programs, so my posting here is not a matter of sour grapes. I have a few thoughts about this post:

First, I think this post is untimely. We are not even half way through February, which means not only that many have yet to hear back from any schools, but also that it is rather neurotic to be stressed over a decision that need not to be made until April.

Second, I think this post is insensitive. The OP has enjoyed much success this admissions cycle but is no doubt aware that some have received only rejections and some have not heard anything at all. It shows little to no thoughtfulness and sensitivity toward these others (which is unfortunate given that we are talking about "sociology," a discipline expressly focused on social realities) who are hoping just to get into one program period, much less to two top-5 programs.

Third, I think this post is pompous. If the OP is as "torn" and "stressed" as he/she makes out, why is he/she taking up considerable time and space indulging in self-congratulatory, self-referential posts here at this juncture of the admissions cycle but is waiting until "the next couple of weeks" to ask such pressing questions that would be most suitably answered by the current students and faculty at the two programs in question? Perhaps the questions he/she asks are legitimate and without guile; but asking them here and now strikes me as bombast.

[Romaniac]

I did not apply to any sociology programs, so my posting here is not a matter of sour grapes. I have a few thoughts about this post:

First, I think this post is untimely. We are not even half way through February, which means not only that many have yet to hear back from any schools, but also that it is rather neurotic to be stressed over a decision that need not to be made until April.

Second, I think this post is insensitive. The OP has enjoyed much success this admissions cycle but is no doubt aware that some have received only rejections and some have not heard anything at all. It shows little to no thoughtfulness and sensitivity toward these others (which is unfortunate given that we are talking about "sociology," a discipline expressly focused on social realities) who are hoping just to get into one program period, much less to two top-5 programs.

Third, I think this post is pompous. If the OP is as "torn" and "stressed" as he/she makes out, why is he/she taking up considerable time and space indulging in self-congratulatory, self-referential posts here at this juncture of the admissions cycle but is waiting until "the next couple of weeks" to ask such pressing questions that would be most suitably answered by the current students and faculty at the two programs in question? Perhaps the questions he/she asks are legitimate and without guile; but asking them here and now strikes me as bombast.

Wow, I am truly sorry to have left that impression with exposingfalsehoods or anybody else. I really meant no offense, and I truly feel for those who are still waiting to hear from their schools. Unfortunately, I am new to these sorts of forums and cannot figure out how to remove my previous post. I hope to have it removed shortly to avoid any more hurt feelings. Goodbye and good luck to everyone else!

[captiv8ed]

thank you exposingfalsehoods. I would have been posting only sour grapes, so I refrained from saying anything, but you pretty much summed up my thoughts.

Especially when the poster is brand new to the community, it does not come across nicely, in my opinion.

[exposingfalsehoods]

Wow, I am truly sorry to have left that impression with exposingfalsehoods or anybody else. I really meant no offense, and I truly feel for those who are still waiting to hear from their schools. Unfortunately, I am new to these sorts of forums and cannot figure out how to remove my previous post. I hope to have it removed shortly to avoid any more hurt feelings. Goodbye and good luck to everyone else!

Like I said, I am not a sociology applicant, but here's some advice: If you have received six offers of admission and you have narrowed your interest to just two of those offers, then you should do every sociology applicant a courtesy and turn down those other four offers (if you have not done so already).

[Romaniac]

thank you exposingfalsehoods. I would have been posting only sour grapes, so I refrained from saying anything, but you pretty much summed up my thoughts.

Especially when the poster is brand new to the community, it does not come across nicely, in my opinion.

Once again captiv8ted, I am very sorry. I was sincerely looking for guidance and deeply regret any offense.

[hip2btriangle]

i agree that we all could stand to show a little more sensitivity to those who aren't faring as well so far, but i do thing there should be a place here to talk about tough decisions. if you have six schools to choose from, you have a lot to think about. and i would strongly recommend NOT turning down offers unless you are absolutely POSITIVE you know you're not interested in that school. and i think this can only really happen unless you didn't get funded somewhere, or you've already visited. visit first, turn down (soon, if possible) after. people on the waitlist can get calls through april.

[realsoc]

i agree that we all could stand to show a little more sensitivity to those who aren't faring as well so far, but i do thing there should be a place here to talk about tough decisions. if you have six schools to choose from, you have a lot to think about. and i would strongly recommend NOT turning down offers unless you are absolutely POSITIVE you know you're not interested in that school. and i think this can only really happen unless you didn't get funded somewhere, or you've already visited. visit first, turn down (soon, if possible) after. people on the waitlist can get calls through april.

I think this forum is exactly the place to be discussing "tough decisions." It's not 'neurotic' to be thinking about this now. Already I'm being asked which school I'm leaning towards from professors and friends. The usefulness of the forum is to share knowledge, ideas, and news. We are as anonymous as we want to be, so we ought to be able to be straightforward and direct.

To the OP's original question: I'm trying to learn as much as I can now about the programs that have accepted and will visit everywhere I can. And guaranteed funding is very important to me. After my visits I'll start pruning my list.

[luar de ouro]

For those who have been accepted to a couple of programs already, how tough is the decision that lies before you? If you had to choose today, would your choice of which program to commit to be straight-forward, or do you, like me, break out in a cold sweat late at night mulling over the various knowns and unknowns that influence your decision? What is it that keeps you up at night?

For me, I am an undergrad just finishing the year, but I am married with an infant son. Since my wife is not working right now, funding in general and health care in particular are definitely major factors in my decision-making process. Although I am still waiting on a few more schools (I have heard from 8 of 14), I am trying to decide right now between Wisconsin and UNC. I was offered 5 years of funding to UNC and none for UW, and I think that Chapel Hill would be a bit more amenable to my Floridian temperament and maybe more family friendly(?) On the other hand, my research preferences are pretty flexible, and I am very interested in the Sociology of Economic Change and Development program at UW. Plus, from what I have been told, UW is definitely a step up from UNC when it comes to resources and placement. I am just a bit daunted by the prospect of having to compete for funding every year, or semester at UW. Moreover, I have heard that there is a fairly high attrition rate for the Wisconsin program. Does anyone have any insight into why that might be? Of course, I am going to start emailing current students and professors in the next couple of weeks, but I thought I might ask here first.

What are other people stressing over? Or am I the only one feeling this torn even before I hear back from everywhere I want to go.

I'm surprised that several posters are unable to handle someone else's success so far in the admission process, and here I thought we're all grown ups who are ready to plunge a good chunk of our lives into academia. Especially after seeing all the congratulatory posts in the Answers and Celebrations thread, the sour grapes came as a huge surprise.

But I do agree with some that this post is kind of early if you want to discuss this with this year's applicants, because yes, a lot of us (like me) have yet to receive an acceptance yet. But I'm sure someone here could give you advise about your decision, so don't apologize for not taking extra care of feelings of people you've never met.

[deckard]

The fact that the OP has a wife and an infant son, and is the sole breadwinner seems to me to be good enough reasons for thinking about these questions as early as possible.

I would go to the program with better funding. Peace of mind about finances helps one to focus on research. If you're thinking about how to pay the bills all the time, you might not do well in the program anyway.

[captiv8ed]

Once again captiv8ted, I am very sorry. I was sincerely looking for guidance and deeply regret any offense.

Oh geez, no I am the one who should be apologizing to you! I said I hadn't posted because I would be posting sour grapes, and then I did it anyway! I am sorry for being so snarky and not welcoming you to the community. Your questions are legitimate and I am sorry to have let my own jealousies get in the way.

[Early]

I don't know why, but stuff like this makes me giggle.

[JohnBom]

Oh geez, no I am the one who should be apologizing to you! I said I hadn't posted because I would be posting sour grapes, and then I did it anyway! I am sorry for being so snarky and not welcoming you to the community. Your questions are legitimate and I am sorry to have let my own jealousies get in the way.

I am actually laughing out lout right now. What a turn around after your acceptance!

You guys are all great. I got four rejections in the last two days. You are keeping me afloat. It will be great to have such a supportive bunch of colleagues and fun people to drink with at ASA meetings.

OP: Congrats. I have similar questions, although I only have two acceptances. One of them is from Wisconsin. My advisor said he thinks it is not a very good idea to go there because of the heavy weed out mode in the first two years. It makes me a bit worried. I got in touch with current students and I am trying to figure out whether my training is good enough to make it. I like the program very much and I am leaning towards trying my luck.

I am certainly not kept up at night by these questions. Why don't you wait a bit and enjoy the glory first before switching back to the neurotic mode.

Edited February 11, 2010 by Astronautka

[Maya]

whew, I have to say I am relieved that the tone of this thread has lightened up a bit. For awhile there I was getting worried that this was going to turn into the polisci boards, with all their +1/-1 drama (have any of you seen their decisions thread, it has gotten pretty heated at times!)

[coffeeandtoast]

Romaniac--No worries. It's just that some of us are eagerly waiting to hear from our schools or try to cope with our rejections. Your decisions will become useful to us if some of us get waitlisted at your schools! Congrats on your acceptances!

[pl0x]

I think this forum is exactly the place to be discussing "tough decisions." It's not 'neurotic' to be thinking about this now. Already I'm being asked which school I'm leaning towards from professors and friends. The usefulness of the forum is to share knowledge, ideas, and news. We are as anonymous as we want to be, so we ought to be able to be straightforward and direct.

To the OP's original question: I'm trying to learn as much as I can now about the programs that have accepted and will visit everywhere I can. And guaranteed funding is very important to me. After my visits I'll start pruning my list.

I was going to post something but this pretty much sums up everything I had to say -- especially about the tough decisions we have ahead. OP, my 2 cents -- if you have dependents, don't go anywhere without funding.

Regarding the snark: yes, this is a time of extreme anxiety and, for a few, extreme disappointment. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a twinge for every person celebrating their acceptance to a program I was rejected from. I empathize with those who have not heard from their programs. It sucks.

But we shouldn't forget that this is also a time of extreme happiness -- and it should be! I am proud of my accomplishments and ecstatic that they have been recognized. And because of that, I have no problem extending my sincere congratulations to all of us on this mountaintop -- we've sacrificed a good deal to be here.

Good luck to everyone still waiting!

[jacib]

Man, on how many different internet boards will a disagreement end with everyone apologizing? New guy, I'm sorry that people jumped on your first question, which was a legitimate one. In our own excitement, it's hard to think that posting a legitimate question could upset people, but I'm sure we all realize this is a wicked stressful time. Your questoin is hopeflly a little premature, let's say, because, if the fates will it, there are several more programs to which you will be accepted.

I don't have a sociology background so I really didn't want to calculate my chances of getting in, and tried to completely avoid hypothetically ranking my schools. I did a pretty good job at it, even. Stress free. But as soon as I got into one, it has become mental gymnastics, trying to calculate all the possible scenarios of choosing between programs, what the remaining programs would have to offer to disuade me from the first one, long lists of pros and cons etc (I had a 16 hour flight and I accidentally took a medicine that keeps you up). It has become really hard for me to rank the Sociology programs against those in Religion, but I did end up withdrawing from three of the Religion programs to which I applied (somethings I'd recommend all of the accept to consider). But seriously, may we all have tough decisions to make in the future! (Actually... I was relieved to not get into Princeton today because it meant I didn't have to make a tough decisions.... so let me amend that by saying, may our decisions be tough, but not too tough!) For me, there was the added stress of visiting weekends, which I would have to do all at once, because schools offer like 300 bucks in travel money and it'd be 700+ bucks to get back to America (assuming I can get the time off work) so like I'd need to combine at least two schools into one trip. And since the school I was accepted into has a visiting weekend on March 1-2, it'll be next to impossible to coordinate that with another school unless I get accepted like... this week. I fully understand the feeling that one must start deciding NOW, even without hearing from all the schools yet. I know I can visit later in March just fine, but it'd have been nice to see the visiting weekend of my top choice

P.S. As for my two cents, your answer is simple. You need money. Even if your wife can and will take a job. Luckily you don't have to decide yet. But note this: dropping out of WI because you're broke has a much worse placement rate than graduating from UNC does.

[herself the elf]

You guys are all great. . . It will be great to have such a supportive bunch of colleagues and fun people to drink with at ASA meetings.

I couldn't agree more. Such passionate people; you're all eager to debate, cautious not to offend, and quick to apologize.

I think this is going to be a great year for all of us. I can't wait to work with you people.

[Romaniac]

Thank you all for your support and helpful advice. I should say that I really do feel overwhelmed by the successes I have had. I never really thought I would get into a top ranked program, which is why I applied to so many. Things just kind of came together for me during the application process in a way that I am truly grateful for. Also, while it may be premature at this point to make any decisions, I am pretty sure that I will not get into any of the other top programs that I applied to, which is why I will - probably - end up settling on either UNC or WI. I don't have money right now to visit everywhere I would like, which is why I'm trying to get as much input as possible before visit times arrive.

It is interesting that you all recommend going where the money is. Since Wisconsin seems to rarely guarantee funding, I am led to wonder who it is that does end up going there. Again, I have yet to hear from any current students, but are there not any candidates with families who end up going there? Is there really a contentious atmosphere when you are competing with your cohort for funding? It seems that eventually, especially after the first couple of semesters, everyone ends up finding funding. Why, then, would this undermine cohesion among peers? Then again, I keep hearing about this "weeding out" process. What is that about? Is this common to sociology programs, or just a Wisconsin peculiarity?

[newday123]

I think that your questions were appropriate.

For suggestions on what to ask professors and current students when you visit schools, go to this website:

http://members.terracom.net/~dorothea/gradsch/success.html

(Scroll down the page)

Partially from this website (created by a well-meaning but jaded former graduate student in a different department at Wisconsin), I got the general sense that Wisconsin is big and impersonal, rather than intimate and cohesive. Of course, that's not to say that you can't find good advisors there.

I personally would pick UNC over Wisconsin based on the factors that you cited earlier. Of course, your selection will also depend on fit and accessibility to suitable advisors.

Good luck!

Edited February 11, 2010 by newday123

[deckard]

Thanks for that link, it was very sobering and useful.

[Romaniac]

I think that your questions were appropriate.

For suggestions on what to ask professors and current students when you visit schools, go to this website:

http://members.terra...ch/success.html

(Scroll down the page)

Partially from this website (created by a well-meaning but jaded former graduate student in a different department at Wisconsin), I got the general sense that Wisconsin is big and impersonal, rather than intimate and cohesive. Of course, that's not to say that you can't find good advisors there.

I personally would pick UNC over Wisconsin based on the factors that you cited earlier. Of course, your selection will also depend on fit and accessibility to suitable advisors.

Good luck!

Wow! Indeed, this was a very helpful link. Thanks so much newday123!

[rogue]

I avoided replying to this earlier because it seemed like tensions were rather high. But I wanted to say that it's never too early to start thinking about things and weighing your options. This is a MAJOR life change. The sooner you start thinking seriously about it, the better.

I personally have a mere (compared to the OP) two acceptances and one rejection, and am still waiting to hear back from seven more schools. And I'm even factoring in some of the ones I haven't heard from in my current mental wrangling, because I need to think about which ones could be more compelling than the offers I have in hand. I'm not good with decisions. Take me to a diner and I will stare helplessly at the menu for an hour because there are just too many things to consider. I feel like that now, only with much higher stakes (sadly, not steaks).

That said, I mostly agree with those who said to go where the funding is. Of course, in my "what if" game, I am sorely tempted to accept an offer of $18K/year for five years over a hypothetical $23K/year for five years (assuming that one even pans out), which might mean I'm not taking my own--and everyone else's--advice. But I don't have a wife and kid to worry about, either.

And one final thought: (almost) everyone here has been really helpful and supportive during this entire nerve-wracking process. I hope we can all stay that way, through our various ups and downs. Cheers and good luck to the folks who are faced with tough decisions, and hang in there, everyone else. You'll probably get good news soon.

[captiv8ed]

I am actually laughing out lout right now. What a turn around after your acceptance!

You guys are all great. I got four rejections in the last two days. You are keeping me afloat. It will be great to have such a supportive bunch of colleagues and fun people to drink with at ASA meetings.

I know, I know. I am sure that helped me see what a jerk I was being

But I like to believe I would have seen that regardless. It just might have taken me a little while longer. lol

[sa854]

For those who have been accepted to a couple of programs already, how tough is the decision that lies before you? If you had to choose today, would your choice of which program to commit to be straight-forward, or do you, like me, break out in a cold sweat late at night mulling over the various knowns and unknowns that influence your decision? What is it that keeps you up at night?

For me, I am an undergrad just finishing the year, but I am married with an infant son. Since my wife is not working right now, funding in general and health care in particular are definitely major factors in my decision-making process. Although I am still waiting on a few more schools (I have heard from 8 of 14), I am trying to decide right now between Wisconsin and UNC. I was offered 5 years of funding to UNC and none for UW, and I think that Chapel Hill would be a bit more amenable to my Floridian temperament and maybe more family friendly(?) On the other hand, my research preferences are pretty flexible, and I am very interested in the Sociology of Economic Change and Development program at UW. Plus, from what I have been told, UW is definitely a step up from UNC when it comes to resources and placement. I am just a bit daunted by the prospect of having to compete for funding every year, or semester at UW. Moreover, I have heard that there is a fairly high attrition rate for the Wisconsin program. Does anyone have any insight into why that might be? Of course, I am going to start emailing current students and professors in the next couple of weeks, but I thought I might ask here first.

What are other people stressing over? Or am I the only one feeling this torn even before I hear back from everywhere I want to go.

Hi Romaniac,

If you really like Wisconsin, try to negotiate with them. That is what I have been told by all my faculty advisors and friends--this is the only time in your graduate career where you have any leverage! I would call/email Wisconsin about it--tell them that you'd love to go to Wisconsin but you've got a family and a child and it is not feasible for you to go anywhere without funding. Tell them that UNC is offering you X and that you are interested in going there because you need to be able to support your family. If Wisconsin can't scrounge around and find you some funding after that, then your choice is made.

good luck!

SA854