The Positivity Thread

[Adelaide9216]

I feel quite depressed lately but I am trying to see friends and/or new people and laugh everyday. This week, I am at an activity for a few days out of my city in which I am meeting a lot of new faces and laughing a lot so it's helpful. I also am trying again dating websites to hopefully find an interesting partner.

[PokePsych]

I'm making progress on my thesis! Finally working on it every day haha

[Adelaide9216]

I have received my new pair of glasses. Never wore glasses before, but the ones I bought were cheap AND really stylish. I'm happy!

[Archaeodan]

I'm gonna preempt this one by saying I adore watching terrible movies, like the worse, the better. So, I just watch Zombeavers (2014) on Netflix and I am just. omg. Zombeavers. Do yourselves a favor, take off your thinking caps, and watch some terrible people get eaten by zombie beaver puppets.

[lemma]

4 hours ago, Adelaide9216 said:

I have received my new pair of glasses. Never wore glasses before, but the ones I bought were cheap AND really stylish. I'm happy!

Awesome! Sounds like they were a catch. 

I started wearing glasses this year too and it has made a world of difference - things are sharper and more beautiful, and I almost never get headaches anymore. I hope that they're helpful for you too! 

[lemma]

I had a really good day today! I've been staying with my parents while my partner is helping out his parents in another city. My mum and I did so many things together: we made baba ganoush in the morning, then made this picked/fermented vegetable dish for the first time (and it smells so good!), and after all of that we went shopping. I found a few shirts and dresses that are within my PhD student budget, and then treated my mum to coffee and cake. The absolute catch was that they had a gluten free version of my mum's favourite cake that she hasn't been able to eat since being told she can't ever eat gluten again. And it tasted good (and not like most gluten free cakes)! 

On top of all that, my partner used his health insurance optical to buy me a pair of prescription sunglasses at no extra cost. I've been finding my non-prescription ones hard to use, as my vision is much worse in low light (it's not completely terrible in bright light though glasses still help), so I can't see people's faces or signs if I wear my old sunglasses. He chose the smallest pair as I'm pretty small, and I'm not sure if they'll suit me, but I'm very excited to use them!

Edited December 30, 2017 by lemma

[quinessloopypun]

I really love the theme of this thread. It feels like the last fortress of hope standing tall among the anxiety, fear and indeterminacy plaguing the rest of the forum.

For what it's worth, I am done with all 12 of my applications and laid all of my application-related files on my desktop to their resting folder. Now we wait and do some easy-reading!

[Adelaide9216]

Retail therapy for me tonight. Best way to deal with a broken heart for me.

[khigh]

We had a temperature today (okay, it was 1 degree F), so I got to actually go outside and run around the lake again! Sunday is supposed to be really warm (15-20 degrees), so that means ICE SKATING! I bought a new pair of hockey skates for the season and pond hockey leagues start next week and that makes me more than happy. My NFL team also scored their bye week for the first round of playoffs, so I've been hearing people play the gjallarhorn chants all over the city. 

[ShewantsthePhD101]

I talked to a PhD student in my #1 program and after she looked over my SoP she said that if I don't get accepted it's not due to a lack of qualifications or fit - so that was pretty freaking encouraging.

[Adelaide9216]

I got my nails done today. Yay!

[Adelaide9216]

Just got my last grade for Fall 2017. I got an A. My  CGPA is now 3.90 out of 4!!!! Way to start a master's degree, I worked really hard and it paid off. I gotta keep this up for Winter 2018. 

[waltzforzizi]

Anyone else dealing with chronic/metal illnesses? 

[Adelaide9216]

4 minutes ago, waltzforzizi said:

Anyone else dealing with chronic/metal illnesses? 

I am!

[lemma]

3 hours ago, waltzforzizi said:

Anyone else dealing with chronic/metal illnesses? 

Me too

[Tigla]

Saw my fiancee for a month! We had not seen each other since July because we live on opposite sides of the world.

[waltzforzizi]

@Adelaide9216 how are you coping in your program? 

@lemma how do you plan to cope once you're admitted into your program?                                                                                                                                                                                                               

I'm currently on medication, which I wasn't while I was in undergrad, it has been working well. I had several breakdowns and panic attacks during my undergrad and was in depressive periods quite often. I just wonder if it'll be a hindrance. I confided in one of POI because they asked and said ti will confidential. I just don't wanna experience anything like that again because it would affect so much. Do you two ever worry about that?

 

 

[lemma]

12 hours ago, waltzforzizi said:

 

@lemma how do you plan to cope once you're admitted into your program?                                                                                                                                                                                                

I'm currently on medication, which I wasn't while I was in undergrad, it has been working well. I had several breakdowns and panic attacks during my undergrad and was in depressive periods quite often. I just wonder if it'll be a hindrance. I confided in one of POI because they asked and said ti will confidential. I just don't wanna experience anything like that again because it would affect so much. Do you two ever worry about that?

I've been admitted to my program and will be starting in a month and a half. I saw my psychiatrist last week, and we filled out my application for disability registration and accommodations. He's confident the requests will be granted, given my history and diagnosis. I'm hoping that the accommodations will help, but I am prepared to take time off if/when I have an episode that affects my cognitive function dramatically. I have been pigheaded in the past, but learned the hard way that sometimes I don't have the mental capacity to work or study, so to not take leave would be doing myself an injustice. I took off time during my undergrad, which wasn't my personal choice, but in retrospect I should have taken leave much earlier. 

I'm also planning to join a sports team or a gym in order to burn off nervous energy. I would describe myself has having a strong work ethic, but I will not be one of those PhD students who works all night and through the weekend. For starters, I can't - sleep deprivation makes me relapse. But I will definitely be drawing hard lines between work time and play time, in order to be a happier person and reduce the environmental factors squeezing me. At the moment, I'm hoping to take Saturday evenings and Sundays off unless I have urgent deadlines. 

I am always scared of relapse. However, in the last year I have decided to live my life, because I can't live a life in fear of my health. My medication has helped a lot, and I haven't had any major ups in the last year and a half without my medication being disturbed (such as when physically sick), which is good because that tended to be my brain's default when symptomatic. I have to be very careful though to reduce depressive episodes - I still get them with visions, noises and strange thinking if I don't sleep enough or get too stressed. I do worry, though: when I was an adolescent, my episodes made it very hard to function on a social level, and while they did draw down my capacity to achieve intellectually, I could still get by. This hasn't been the case in the last three years - in all of my episodes I have been unable to read, process information, and sometimes speak, move, brush my hair or eat. Things in my life are great these days, and I try to look ahead... but yes, I do worry. 

[01sonal]

20 hours ago, waltzforzizi said:

Anyone else dealing with chronic/metal illnesses? 

I also am. I have chosen not to disclose to anyone for the time being because I'm so fortunate to be doing comparatively well right now, but I also know that I'm just surviving in grad school by doing the bare minimum which is stressful. If anyone has tips on how I can increase my productivity I would greatly appreciate it! My emotional state itself is fine (not outstanding) but I still struggle with chronic lack of motivation. 

Also can relate to difficulty reading, processing information, being able to focus. Sometimes I have to read the same sentence 3 times before I can comprehend it, and then by the time I move onto the next sentence I forget what the first sentence was about. I mostly cope with this by trying to focus on article abstracts. 

Edited January 6, 2018 by 01sonal

[surprise_quiche]

No replies yet but I submitted my newest research paper to two communications conferences!

[surprise_quiche]

 

22 hours ago, waltzforzizi said:

Anyone else dealing with chronic/metal illnesses? 

I've struggled a lot with depression/anxiety for the past eight years, and I really didn't get a hold of it until proper medication. These last two years, I started working out regularly, eating healthier, keeping a written/digital schedule, and making a sleeping routine. I'm really not sure what gave me the motivation, but now I feel so much more stable with the stressors in my life. I've found that contemplative writing has helped me work through a lot of stuff and given me more confidence to talk about my mental health issues and the issues relating to assault in my past. 

For anyone who's dealing with this, especially in unforgiving academia, there is no one solution to fix everything. Just be sure to take time for yourself (if possible) and never be afraid to ask someone for help. I've always had a really good support system, and can't speak for everybody, but reaching out to people who care about you can be the first steps on a rocky journey to feeling a semblance of normal.

Honestly nothing helped my anxiety more than using a hour-by-hour schedule and and getting 8 hours of sleep. With my depression, I've had a lot of struggle these times of year (since I also suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder) and it makes it hard to focus on papers or readings. A lot of times if I catch myself feeling this way, I try to move myself to a new environment (which can be the hardest part). I've also used relaxing ambient music (this song was developed by psychologists for relaxation and I listen to it on repeat). 

I hope this helps (again I don't speak for everybody; these are just tips that have worked for me). Don't be afraid to reach out!

 

[Adelaide9216]

On 2018-01-06 at 5:53 AM, waltzforzizi said:

@Adelaide9216 how are you coping in your program? 

@lemma how do you plan to cope once you're admitted into your program?                                                                                                                                                                                                               

I'm currently on medication, which I wasn't while I was in undergrad, it has been working well. I had several breakdowns and panic attacks during my undergrad and was in depressive periods quite often. I just wonder if it'll be a hindrance. I confided in one of POI because they asked and said ti will confidential. I just don't wanna experience anything like that again because it would affect so much. Do you two ever worry about that?

 

 

I am coping well. This is going to sound strange but school is a coping mechanism for me in terms of my mental health. I truly feel at peace in an academic setting and it helps me a lot (I was quite depressed since last summer and going to school everyday actually helps me go through the days because I feel passionnate about what I study. I'm also on medication and it helps).

[khigh]

Bought boyfriend’s ticket home today. I haven’t seen him in person since March. He will be home in time for Super Bowl week (hosted in the city where I live). I decided to go all out and bought matching 90s outfits- starter jackets, baseball hats, acid washed jeans, Keds, and fanny packs. We’re going to go downtown allllll decked out to celebrate his return! He’s flying into Chicago, so I booked a private tour of Wrigley Field, too. 

I’m just excited to have my partner in crime home. 

[Archaeodan]

While on my flight back to my job I kinda hate, I got an email offering me an interview for the job I really want and would go part-time PhD to keep. Meaning I have to fly back at the end of the week, but whatever. I want this job SO BAD. 

[Adelaide9216]

Today I got new make-up in the mail. Also, I missed my first class of the semester because I called 911 for a stranger who was not feeling well and approached me to call an ambulance while I was heading to school. We waited 1 hour before the ambulance came. He's fine and I'm glad he is okay now.