AwesomeBird

So I have to admit that as excited as I am to be applying to graduate school for social work a lot of my focus is on the idea of finding a serious relationship while in school.  I am 22 and looking to start my MSW program in the Fall 14, I graduated from college and thought that I would meet someone then, I didn't.  Now I am 22 and single and haven't really had a serious relationship, while all my friends are getting engaged and having kids, I just want that.  I want my graduate degree too for sure but I want a relationship.  Here is the thing, I am only applying to programs far from home (University of Kentucky, OSU, and University of Pitt) which will put me in a new place and force me to get to know people and make friends. I am afraid, what if I don't make friends or meet someone.  A friend of mine went to Western Kentucky and said he met his gf when she was getting her Masters in Clinical Psych and he was in Engineering. I am just freaking out on so many levels, on top of all that I have a disability and that kind of makes dating much harder because I don't fully feel confident.  Any personal experiences? How can I leave grad school with not only a Masters but a MRS. Degree too?  

... make 9 interviewees mysteriously vanish

I want SO bad to be able to POST HEERE!! WHEN??!

LOL, im in the same boat. Ive already started looking for jobs in our new city. We are DEFINITELY moving this year. No more waiting...

Do it!!! Pack up, get out, and live.
 
I'm also in my 30s, I have no attachments, and if I don't get in I am sooooo packing my car and leaving to start over someplace else. If I don't get accepted, my disappointment will gone by the time my last suitcase hits the trunk.

Ahahahahaha. 

I want SO bad to be able to POST HEERE!! WHEN??!

I want SO bad to be able to POST HEERE!! WHEN??!

I want SO bad to be able to POST HEERE!! WHEN??!

I want SO bad to be able to POST HEERE!! WHEN??!

I want SO bad to be able to POST HEERE!! WHEN??!

Assuming the original post and poster are indeed genuine:
 
Mathematical, you are the type of person I'd love to meet and befriend. I have never been in the military, and I have never feared for my life, and I have never fought for my life, and I have never lost friends or comrades to violent and unfortunate circumstances. But I frequently think about what stress means. My relatively tame life experience has led me to the conclusions that stress is not disagreeing with your advisor, or your boss, stress is not an exam or a grade (because what is a grade but a number on a piece of paper?). Stress is when you don't know where your next meal is coming from, not knowing whether your loved ones will survive the night, not knowing whether you or you friends will wake up in the morning. Sometimes, I think these thoughts are luxuries resulting from a privileged upbringing--a way of justifying my place and worldview in a world where so many have suffered and/or suffer yet I haven't. I don't deny that. But I digress.
 
 
You will continue to find these people in graduate school. In my (admittedly limited) experience: academia is a big bubble, disconnected in many ways from the real world. This doesn't mean nobody in academia is in touch with reality. You will always find people, in any arena--including academia--who have a solid grasp on reality, a good perspective. But like any other area, most of them will be caught up in exactly what you describe. I don't think you can ever escape it in first-world, civilian life.
 
Ultimately, I don't think you should base your decision to attend graduate school or not on something like this. You will inevitably be surrounded by people fitting your description, no matter what you choose to do. If you think you can rise above it, ignore it, or perhaps even benefit from it and encourage the others around you to see things the way you do, then I think you should go for it. Consider the long term, not the short-term. If graduate school will help you achieve your long-term goals, then don't worry about the people and attitudes along the way; at worst, you will encounter exactly what you have described. At best, you will meet the exceptions while also making progress toward your overarching professional and academic goals, and making connections that could prove important in your future.

"I feel as if I am living the highest quality of life that I can when I am engaging knowledge"
 
 
 
Sounds like you have your answer right there...
 
I want to go school for acting. Have you any idea how many people (fellow actors) think that's an absurd, nonsensical concept? I don't want to get my MFA in acting so I can make more money or get more work. Maybe I will end up wokring in Starbucks, but I want to go back to school because there have been two places in my life where I have felt comfortable, in my element, at home... 1) in a place of performance, whether it be on stage, in front of a camera, etc., and 2) in a classroom.
 
Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. From what you have told us, you are a brilliant mind who thrives in a place of learning; why go against your nature? Go back to school... Furthermore, we need you. Keep going.

SeeingEyeDuck, 

Thank you for the well thought out response. Although I do find a little bit of what you wrote to be contentious. 
 
 
If I had this luxury, I would have done so in the first place. I have friends who are in some of the Ivy League schools and they claim it is the same, but obviously this is only anecdotal evidence. As aforementioned, I grew up very poor and most of the "top level schools" I've have seen I would not be able to afford. 

 
One of my bigger points is that I am affected because the university standards seem to be "low-balled." If it's atypical to have a desire be in class, much less read the material, the standards consequently plummet. 


 
I did mention that I was working full time while in school and was in the military beforehand. I have plenty of real world experience, and this was one of my issues with the extended adolescence of college. 

 
Please don't make me out to be some kind of Aspie. As I mentioned, I have an active social life and date frequently. My social skills aren't lacking. My point was simply that the academic environment wasn't very academic. 
 
And at this point, that seems like not rotting in graduate school. Thanks for the advice. 

You clearly didn't read anything I wrote. Also, by strawmanning my point and not understanding my use of the word "myopic," you're only further proving my point. 

Greetings,

I understand that this is not going to be a popular post, so I will try to keep it as tactful and brief as possible. I just ask that people who are willing to respond to it don't try to "read between the lines" and will respond simply to what I am asking. I also felt that this was the most appropriate place to post this. If it is off topic, I apologize. 

My Story:

I graduated high school (with a diploma) very early, took the SATs when I was twelve, and enrolled in university when I was fourteen years old. I came from a very underprivileged household and school system, so the idea of someone excelling so far academically at such a young age solidified in everyone's mind that college was the place for me. Inspired by the work of Descartes and Spinoza, I have always been very eager about learning. I ask that you would take me at my word when I communicate that I feel as if I am living the highest quality of life that I can when I am engaging knowledge.
 
When I went to college I found that nobody took it very seriously. Not even a legal adult, I was a much more disciplined "scholar" than many graduate students I met. Furthermore, I found all the classes very easy and continued with a 4.0 until I eventually became a full time student at seventeen years old. Discouraged after a single semester as a full time student, I did not return to university and joined the military.

After an honorable discharge from the Air Force, I returned to college as a full time student. I finished two majors and a minor in under four years, graduating with honors and research. As an undergraduate, I was given special permission by department heads to tutor graduate level math classes (even though my majors were not in mathematics). Once again, I found the culture to be completely nonacademic and juvenile. My experience was that most students saw college as an extended adolescence and retained some false "student-teacher" dualism that held over from high school. Students complained about going to class, wouldn't do readings, wouldn't understand the little that they sometimes read, and generally wouldn't try. Please, know that it is not the case that I have some kind of condescending attitude because people "just can't keep up with me." Rather, I was very frustrated that most people weren't actually interested in fulfilling the academic roles that they would later puff out their chests and embrace on graduation day. I felt like I was at a band camp, not a college. Similarly, many professors would inform me about how excited they were to have a such a serious student while I was conducting research, yet would simultaneously completely lower all of their standards in order to receive high evaluations from students – ergo retaining higher odds as scoring the tenure positions they were all at each other's throats for. I have had several classes where everyone got an A with no tests and no assigned readings. I have caught several professors giving me incorrect grades out of miscalculation. All of these were changed after I contacted department heads, but not without getting an angry cursing phone call from one English professor about how "Ya didn't have to call my F%*king boss, @!%hole." Very professional environment.  I have also seen students who clearly do not understand basic material being passed because they retook the course several times and were supposedly trying hard. Moreover, I have caught several professors teaching material incorrectly or not reading the assignments they were teaching on.
 
I never found school particularly challenging and, honestly, I feel that I have learned much more reading on my own in the past few months after graduation than anything school has had to offer me. Having someone shoot mortars at my FOB was very stressful. Memorizing math formulas for a test that I've had all semester to memorize is not stressful. Getting phone calls about close friends from my unit getting killed in Iraq while I was college is something that was stressful for me. Reading a book and generating maybe one or two original thoughts about it for finals week is not stressful.

I met some serious students and befriended many professors, but I found that the academic environment was still anything but. I surprised my professors and peers by refusing to walk at graduation and leaving the departments on no uncertain terms. I concluded to them that my "college experience" was an exaggerated, false rational category where high school kids show up and pay for a degree. I was not special, and got absolutely nothing out of my time at university besides what I did myself. Standards are demonstrably getting lower and lower, and my experience dictates that most people affiliated with university are responsible for this condition. Firstly, I feel that most (but not all) college students are part of the problem for having no real desire to be at university in the first place (beside perhaps basic utility) and therefore lowering standards. Secondly, I feel that professors were responsible for simply paying lip service regarding their discontent regarding lowered standards yet sitting on their hands while the situations get progressively worse. Finally, I hold administrations responsible for seeking expanding profits instead of meeting the educational values they claim to hold.

And to top it all off, my degree doesn't even say my majors or minor on it.  

Many of my professors are pleading that I apply for graduate school, with these great, high expectations of how wonderful the experience will be. Indeed, several of them are offering to pay for all my exams and applications if I simply do it. However, I am still very skeptical that it is any different from the undergraduate experience and, as I meet more graduate students through dating or other social mediums, I find the same myopic and undisciplined demeanor. I keep meeting the archetypal middle class social climber who had the luxury of college handed to them and, happy to embrace the identity of a scholar, is more in love with the pride of believing they are part of some elite academic smart people club than possessing a love for learning. With fond, self-congratulatory memories, they often boast about the super stressful test they "worked" so hard to pass or how the experience was so hard that they're on anxiety medication now. After browsing this site for a few weeks, I am not certain that I have seen anything that convinces me any differently.

Please note, these are not sweeping generalizations of everybody in school, because I hold no illusions that I can speak for people I have not met. I will unabashedly communicate that this has been my experience. Also, so there's no confusion, I have so far gone to four different universities. Three were state schools and one was private. My parents are deceased and I am therefore receiving no financial support from them, nor did I receive any support from them when I began college full time after the military (life insurance was spent to cover their stuff years prior). I worked 35 hours a week and took out loans after the G.I. Bill was cut in 2011. I currently work an entry level position and make a little more than minimum wage (no degree required).
 
My Question:

Can someone give me a no nonsense answer if graduate school is worth going to? Is it really different? Moreover, I keep meeting people with PhDs and Master's degrees working at Starbucks or other entry level positions. I did some basic research and I get mixed answers about job placement. A lot of things I have read seem to indicate that, if I were to get a PhD or Master's Degree, standards are going to be compromised so much by the time I finish that it will be just as hard to find a job.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'd be curious to hear some input.

PS - I understand the title is inflammatory, but the reason I chose it is because it's one of the last things my grandfather told me before he passed away.

26. Wait, haha.. I just realized I AM 26. Damn, this has been a long year. I don't know what happened but every year of my 20's I felt so "old". You know that "I am not a child anymore, but I still feel like a kid and want to 16 forever" feeling. Then 26 came and I really realized 1) how young I am and how much freaking time I have left to live. That creeping urge to find success, find a husband, make money, make a name, have babies melted away. I think that's maturity. Not a change in attitude, or feeling of "adulthood", but realizing and understanding your place on this planet, and where you are in your life.

I haven't had candy in a year... yesterday I went out and bought: a box of rasberry licorice, 1 container of assorted jelly beans, and.... gummy bears.
 
 
One year.... 
 
 
I share your pain.

I feel like I'm holding my breath.... this anticipation is unlike any other. It's like, you're not just waiting on a letter or a phone call or an email... you're waiting on a complete change of life. That one word we're waiting on has the potential to completely change our entire life. How could I possibly manage to exhale??  This must be what The Hunger Games feel like.

I feel like I'm holding my breath.... this anticipation is unlike any other. It's like, you're not just waiting on a letter or a phone call or an email... you're waiting on a complete change of life. That one word we're waiting on has the potential to completely change our entire life. How could I possibly manage to exhale??  This must be what The Hunger Games feel like.