MarineBluePsy

@loganmills And the trend has continued with me now being down about 30lbs. I wasn't morbidly obese or anything, but losing weight has been good. Thank heavens I know how to cook.

Read things that are relevant to your field broadly or specific to your career interests.

I'm in a different field but wore a similar skirt during my interviews without issue as did plenty of other gals. Interviews should be taken seriously, which does mean dressing appropriately but that doesn't mean wearing something uncomfortable or being bland. If your attitude about slacks and a blouse is "sucking it up" then that isn't you. It is very important to be yourself on interviews and if a skirt is more your thing then go for it, just keep it professional. Everyone told me to stick to neutral colors during my interviews because its traditional blah blah blah. I didn't listen and proudly wore colors I love and had applicants and faculty all complimenting my dresses and applicants wishing they'd gone with something more them.

Whatever! They're all buttholes and I'm going back to binge watching Sons of Anarchy. How have I never heard of this hottie Charlie Hunnam?

I'm not sure what else I could do to demonstrate my commitment to a professor who doesn't want to be bothered with me and knows my advisor will go straight to the dean if there are any issues. I thought we had a nice groove in this semesters class. I did all of the work, asked questions as needed, utilized office hours, attended optional review sessions, and just worked harder instead of complaining or making excuses. If I needed to repeat the class I was just going to do so without argument. Whats making it worse is this all came to a head as everyone was trying to wrap up and leave for holiday celebrations. What was my advisor thinking bothering the dean right now? This could have waited until after the holidays and maybe my pain in the ass professor would have simmered down and been willing to actually discuss the matter. As it stands my pain in the ass professor now has to spend the holiday creating the exam (yes the exam that my advisor has said is outrageous for half a point) and my advisor is pestering the dean to get my pain in the ass professor to offer a shorter project instead. So while no one will be bothering me for the next week, they'll certainly be bothering each other and ultimately I'm the one who'll suffer.

Regardless of what the interview sites tell you about having meals/snacks always ALWAYS have your own snacks and water with you! This is especially important if you're on a special diet, have allergies, or are just plain picky. Some programs are not very organized and you may have so many things scheduled for your day that you get 5 minutes to scarf something down. Or you may find that their understanding of your dietary needs is horribly inaccurate or the special meal requested for you is forgotten or still not something you can eat. Some places also just have terrible food regardless of what is served. I just carried my purse with whatever I needed in it, but other applicants carried messenger bags or briefcases. Most programs also load you down with swag.....pamphlets, brochures, random office supplies, water bottles, etc so having a bag is helpful anyway. Oh and have kleenex, cough drops, and hand sanitizer.

Ahh yeah if you're crashing with someone else bringing a pet would be kinda rude lol. And the thing is I didn't ask for anything. I didn't whine, complain, or throw a tantrum over anything being unfair or unreasonable. I simple said ok, what do I do now that this means academic probation? My advisor is the one pointing out the unfairness, which I appreciate and understand, but damn give me a heads up! I have to take other classes with this pain in the ass professor and I don't want the dean associating my name with complaints and irritation.

So without intending to I've caused a shit storm with the faculty. Apparently it isn't abnormal for a student to not meet the program standard in a class so there is a system in place to deal with that. If the student has been consistently improving throughout the semester then the professor in question offers a supplemental assignment to raise the grade. So my advisor knew of this process, expected my pain in the ass professor to bring it up to me after the final, and figured there was nothing to worry about. Well I had been consistently improving throughout the class and yet my pain in the ass professor didn't mention anything about a supplemental assignment. All I was told was that since I was half a point short I was still failing. Grades posted and my advisor of course has access to them, saw the failing grade and blew a gasket. Went to my pain in the ass professor and demanded to see all of my assignments and then noticed the absence of a supplemental assignment. My pain in the ass professor apparently admitted to not wanting to offer one, for no reason my advisor deemed valid. My advisor went to the dean of the department who then intervened by telling the professor to extend me the same courtesy that countless other students with worse grades have been offered in the past. This led to me getting a very pissy email from my pain in the ass professor saying that if I want to I can take an extensive exam and only if I ace it will I earn the half a point needed to raise my grade. If I don't ace it then failing stands. So my pain in the ass professor is pissed at being ordered to do something that for whatever reason they don't want to do, my advisor is pissed that the pain in the ass professor refused to use the established system for this situation and is demanding a hefty exam instead of a shorter project which is the norm if only a couple of points are needed, and the dean is pissed at having to be involved in such a squabble that two tenured faculty should have been able to settle quickly and reasonably. And no one asked for my input on the matter, but since I have to work more closely with my advisor it seems best to take the exam and hope for the best. *sigh* Just another thing to add to the I-picked-the-wrong-program list. @Need Coffee in an IV Can't you just take a cat with you for the summer internship? @hippyscientist Wow a family blowup in front of company? Awkward! Maybe next year your schedules will better align around a lower pressure holiday or spring break.

This totally reminds me of another thing that bugs me about the Gilmore Girls revival. Why didn't we get to see the new astronomy building Richard and Emily had built and named after Rory on the Yale campus?! What an awkward scene it would have been to have Rory standing in front of her own building with doe eyed undergrads thinking she must be someone important when that was so far from the reality.

@Neist I don't think butter and cheese were meant to be mixed together especially since one of those isn't even a food lol. Have you tried kefir milk? I know several people with dairy issues that started drinking it and now have little or no dairy issues. I drink it for the probiotics and find its way more affordable than regular milk. @Pink Fuzzy Bunny I get what you're saying, but on the other hand I understand the importance of not just being "given" something you know? Despite my hard work I didn't earn a passing grade and I can accept that. So yeah now I get to find out how much being on academic probation jeopardizes my funding and placement in the program. Any other American Horror Story fans? I've binge watched the first 5 seasons and I really don't like that Jessica Lange left. I get that she had her reasons and before this show I had no idea who she was, but she really made the show. Season 5 was really weird without her and Lady Gaga was a poor substitute. And my neighbors are still at it good grief! Does the city accept noise ordinance complaints for loud boning? All of my windows are closed, my tv is blaring, and I can still hear them.

@Pink Fuzzy Bunny maybe you'll find this funny...... grades are finally in and guess what? I literally achieved the impossible and aced the final. Maybe some alien being invaded me during exam time and took it for me because even I didn't feel that confident. So where does this leave me? Still failing because I am half a point away from the program standard. Yep half a point. *cue hysterical laughter* And in unrelated news, my neighbors are boning loudly and its the middle of the day! Have they no decorum?! Such activities should be reserved for night time hours (preferably after dinner and before dessert) and not disturb the neighbors.

LMAO @reading on the history of reading.....that sounds like you're going to study how people literally sit down and read.

I definitely have more of a this is a job mentality which i prefer and keeps me more organized than some of the other students. The problem lies in the fact that this isn't the expectation. The students here are like some weird cult that can't stand to be apart and not wanting to do that makes you a problem. Whenever there is free time they can't wait to glob together and generally be unproductive when I would rather use that time to get ahead on something and have a free weekend. I get that its common for students to form study groups to get through piles of reading or master concepts, but what is the point if instead of studying all you're doing is socializing for several hours? Then because nothing was accomplished they pull all nighters before deadlines or exams and just insist this is the way its supposed to be. Seriously? No thanks. I'd rather spend an hour or two in the library getting through material ahead of time and then getting a good nights sleep. Like you I use my weekends to create balance, check out new places, do whatever interests me, and I'm plenty social despite not having made friends here yet. A group of these brats actually complained up the chain that I don't spend enough time with them. Does this sound like high school to anyone else? Ok good, it isn't just me. And to be frank, I want to hang with people I can unplug with. Not people who are going to use anything I say to create drama, gossip, or backstab which is of zero interest to me so I happily say no to most of the social invitations. The faculty also expects the students to be joined at the hip and creates an excess of mandatory program events so that we're together beyond our classes. Great forced socializing. This reminds me of being a kid when your parents make you have a weekly play date with some kid you can't stand when you'd rather be reading or whatever because clearly there must be something wrong with you if you don't have regular play dates. I have taken to skipping some of these events even though they're mandatory and am prepared to defend this choice if my advisor brings it up. I am all for conscious uncoupling and will keep doing it, but am finding that saying no is more offensive to them then it really should be. Yes what is with all the pretentious buttholes?! Clearly they've forgotten that buttholes still stink no matter who's it is. I have three literature reviews and a research proposal to work on, but I won't need to set foot on campus for any of that thank goodness. Other than that I will be relaxing.

I mean all the dirty secrets people hide when the goal is to entice new people to come aboard. Like the catty behavior, the backstabbing, the pettiness, the mean girls (there aren't many guys in Psych, so not trying to sound sexist), the drama, the gossiping about peoples personal problems, the immaturity, professors that have great reputations in research but turn out to be really shitty teachers, the fake friendliness and unwillingness to be the least bit helpful even when its their damn job, etc. And I'm not saying this kind of stuff doesn't occur in the workplace because it can, it has just been my experience that it is a lot easier to find someone with loose lips to share that sort of thing when you're still weighing your options. Yet in grad school it seems that the students or faculty that are likely to share this type of information are conveniently not available or rarely available during the interview process or when you're considering which acceptance to go with. I would definitely have still done a PhD, I would just have gone with a different program. Dead cells doesn't sound fun. Will it take long to get new ones? I think I was well prepared in terms of knowing how to multitask, not procrastinate, reading a ton, and good self care skills. I don't know how I could have been more prepared for being constantly forced to spend time with people I can't stand. Part of what I can't stand about them (and I mean students and faculty) is their inability to see past academia because they've never ventured out of that bubble. For some of them that's just being young and I get that they'll learn in time, but for others there is no excuse for that level of cluelessness or flat out refusal to accept that the rest of the world doesn't function like academia.

No I'm certain grad school is the right move for me since it is the only way to access the career I want and I am certain of my career choice. I also tested the waters in a Master's program to make sure I really wanted to do all the work and wasn't feeling like I had to. I was on a solid career path with just my Master's, but I knew I wasn't going to be happy just with that. Now in a doctoral program the work itself isn't the problem, it is all of the stuff behind the scenes that wasn't revealed until I got here. I understand that no matter what program (or job, relationship, etc) you pick there will always be stuff behind the scenes because everyone is putting on the best show to lure you in. We just have to hope that we can handle whatever lurks behind the curtains and that doing so makes the end result worth it. So sure I'll have my degree and access to the career I want in the end, but if the behind the scenes remains this awful I'm not sure it will have been worth it.

Yes this is a good point, we survived the semester. For me the reality was so much worse than my expectations and I really can't say it has been worth it. That's not a good mindset to have going into next semester so perhaps some of that will dissipate over the break.

I don't know if I agree with that. Nuts definitely change the flavor and add way more fat so often I'm fine skipping them. As for cheap wines I enjoy this one: http://www.barefootwine.com/

I am a big fan of cashew milk or goat's milk ice cream. If only they weren't so damn expensive.

This is the last week of the semester so its technically finals. It's a presentation instead of an exam tomorrow, but still a drag. Just seems weird. In undergrad I had class until a couple of days before Xmas so being done sooner is completely foreign.

Ugh class tomorrow.....make it stop!

Yikes what a pickle and I'm sorry your program wasn't more supportive while you dealt with an illness you didn't ask for. Hopefully your health has improved and that won't be an issue in the future. While I haven't been in your shoes I struggled to gain research experience before getting into a PhD program because I was a nontraditional student. My undergrad wasn't research heavy and I opted for a completely different path after graduation. I later went into a non-research focused Masters and surprised myself by becoming interested in research then. Even though I had my own interests I had to let go of wanting to jump right into them because any professor I found with a research lab didn't have to take me on as a volunteer. Sure unpaid labor is great, but their first priority is to their own graduate students and then to create opportunities for undergrads in their department. I opted to be honest about my goal being to gain basic experience, regardless of topic, because those skills would be transferable. I made it clear that their work was interesting, just not specifically what I wanted to make a career of. I also focused on the fact that I was there because I truly wanted to be, not because of a class requirement or extra credit. I had a full time job with solid advancement options and plenty of things to occupy my spare time, yet I was choosing to learn more about research. I also took any possible concerns about my being older off the table by reiterating that I wanted to learn everything I could even if it was grunt work. I could relate to the undergrads in terms of inexperience and had no problem being supervised by grad students who were younger than me. I also didn't mention the possibility of asking for an LOR. I figured I would wait until things were going well and I officially decided to apply before asking. I went through several professors (at my institution, nearby institutions, in my field, out of my field) before finding one that was in an interdisciplinary lab that was willing to let me volunteer. Once I was in then I did what was necessary so no one regretted taking me on and I learned quite a bit. So in your case I would say be honest, but don't downplay or complain about their work. Think of all of the things about you they might consider red flags......getting booted from your program.....possibly applying to and being accepted at another program.......your health problems returning......etc......and find a way to reduce that concern. Also don't feel limited to your former department at your former institution because research skills are transferable and the willingness to forge your own path when the traditional one is closed to you will make you stand out. Be flexible and willing to meet their needs and be grateful for whatever opportunity you're given.

And now I'm hooked on American Horror Story Season 3. Way less creepy than Season 2.

Well then that means you have 6% of leeway You'll be fine! Ummm you should probably sleep too. Passing out around the house isn't good.

I think it'll be a couple more days of obnoxious banging because they're doing a full kitchen remodel and apparently the furnace blew. *sigh* If I had anywhere else to be I'd be there, but I don't so I'm just cranking up the volume on American Horror Story. That TA has issues. The really sad part is women like her are a dime a dozen in academia and the workplace. They just don't get that everyone doesn't have to like everyone and someone choosing to do their own thing isn't meant to insult others. Resorting to name calling and rumor spreading just makes her look foolish. It doesn't sound like she has ever been particularly friendly to you so I don't blame you for not wanting to be bothered with her. Hopefully you won't have to interact with her much when the semester is over.