CherryBlossom_

HAHAHA omg, I shouldn’t be laughing but this is the best reaction ever! 

Committed to the master’s program ♥️ new life ahead of me! So excited! New country, new dreams, new challenges, I can’t wait for it!
Next two months: enjoy every second here in my beloved home country/city, with parents and friends! 
 

Searching for housing when you're 5150 miles away is overwhelming :S I have 15 open tabs and a huge list of options in a city I've never been to... I'm unsure by nature... and now comes the ultimate challenge haha But it's a good feeling after all ? 

Committed to the master’s program ♥️ new life ahead of me! So excited! New country, new dreams, new challenges, I can’t wait for it!
Next two months: enjoy every second here in my beloved home country/city, with parents and friends! 
 

Committed to the master’s program ♥️ new life ahead of me! So excited! New country, new dreams, new challenges, I can’t wait for it!
Next two months: enjoy every second here in my beloved home country/city, with parents and friends! 
 

I think I can pass my thesis.

All my positive thoughts to you.
The first thing that came to my mind when I read your post was the phrase you use as your signature: "I'm no longer accepting the things I cannot change... I'm changing the things I cannot accept." You can't change the past... it's done, already happened, gone. What you can do is be outraged by the idea of not succeeding. You can't accept that. You won't. You'll move forward, as you already said. 

All my positive thoughts to you.
The first thing that came to my mind when I read your post was the phrase you use as your signature: "I'm no longer accepting the things I cannot change... I'm changing the things I cannot accept." You can't change the past... it's done, already happened, gone. What you can do is be outraged by the idea of not succeeding. You can't accept that. You won't. You'll move forward, as you already said. 

Yes, it's been a long 4 months of waiting and even longer of test and application prep. Time to relax before moving and the real stress begins. Congrats!

Don't those things die with undergrad school? ? the last time I got drunk was at my ex's graduation party, almost a life ago
With age comes wisdom, hangover aversion and a more refined taste for wines! 

same, pal. Rough stuff.
also- finding a place that is safe to live is really hard when you are so far away but it helps to ask grad students for advice and such. 
Good luck finding a place! 

Searching for housing when you're 5150 miles away is overwhelming :S I have 15 open tabs and a huge list of options in a city I've never been to... I'm unsure by nature... and now comes the ultimate challenge haha But it's a good feeling after all ? 

Searching for housing when you're 5150 miles away is overwhelming :S I have 15 open tabs and a huge list of options in a city I've never been to... I'm unsure by nature... and now comes the ultimate challenge haha But it's a good feeling after all ? 

Alcohol. Lots of alcohol...
Just kidding! Haha! Don't do that!
I am a Ph.D student, going into my fifth year, and I am very quiet and self-contained. I barely even spoke to my family until I was almost 20. People don't point out that I'm quiet much anymore, but they used to do so all the time. I would just smile, because its true, and I don't think it is a bad thing, most of the time.
My heart still races when I raise my hand in workshops. It's been four years, you would think I'd get over it by now, but I haven't. One thing that has helped is that my dissertation chair also has introvert tendencies. He also doesn't speak up in workshops often. I was in his presentation at a major conference once and he barely looked up from the floor the entire time and his arms were crossed the whole time. But he has coauthors who he works with and he is very well respected in the community.  So I know if he can do it, I can do it too.
As for conferences and other situations when you need to interact with people, the key to being interesting is to be interested. I am a great listener. I do go up and introduce myself to people, and then I mostly listen to them talk, with a few interjections so they know I'm interested in what they are saying. And I almost always have people to talk/listen to because of it.

Overall, give yourself a break. Try not to worry as much about sounding stupid or looking goofy. And realize that you aren't perfect, but no one expects you to be. But don't give up on trying to better yourself. It isn't a paradox to love yourself for who you are while also realizing that you have areas you can improve on in your life. And there are very few jobs that don't require communication with other people, so it is important to try to do as well as you can at it.

Know you're definitely not alone in these feelings. I was in a similar situation (choosing between two great programs), and while I'm happy with my choice, I'd be lying if I said I haven't frequently experienced anxiety about my choice (Incidentally, I also picked the slightly lower ranked school further from my family). I could be wrong, but it does seem like you're probably experiencing a similar anxiety, and I do think it would be unavoidable no matter what choice you made. I can completely understand how you're feeling when it comes to your family. But what could you realistically have done for your family with your grad school responsibilities even if you had chosen the other school? You sound like a selfless person, and I think it's positive that you'll be able to have that focus on yourself, and still see your family whenever you're able. 
I think you are beating yourself up. But it really does sound like you made the right choice. Don't doubt your past decisions, you made them for a reason. I find that I get deeper into my regret ruts when I fixate on all the negative aspects; it's unavoidable that'll you'll feel miserable if you do that! For me, it's helpful to push those thoughts away, and focus on all the positives that made me choose the school I did. Get on google and look up fun things to do in the area you'll be moving to, look at the exciting research at your school, etc. Anything to distract you from your doubts and reaffirm that you made a choice that made sense for you. It may be extra helpful also to get outside validation by talking to friends, advisors, family, etc.
Take a deep breath. You're not stupid, or rash, and it sounds like you made a good choice. Wish the best for you!
Edit: I see from your post history that you will be attending Brown! That's an amazing choice and I'm sure you'll do great things there. 

Gold piece of advice ❤️ also, I cannot second enough what @bloomeighty said about financial independence! Very true!
It's hard when we're used to a place/a situation/people and then life changes and we just have to move on. I'm quite older than you guys (graduated in December 2013) and at the time I think all of us were so tired of school and so eager to "start living" that we didn't feel emotional at all. I think it's more of a cultural thing but here in my country engineering students seem to graduate never wanting to look back haha cursing everyone and everything related to their undergrad experience. I didn't see it that way... I had a great undergrad experience, which gave me my best friend, a 4-year relationship (which ended, but yeah that's another story rs) and great memories...
Unfortunately... people move on and it's hard to keep in touch =( we start by meeting once a month, then once every two months, then at birthdays... and then the inevitable happens: meetings at weddings and baby showers! haha your old group of friends is now in their early 30s!! 
But you know what? That's the beauty of it! I mean... I met my best friend at my very first day in college, 10 years ago. And she's still my best friend. We talk about other things now, but sometimes we just sit and remember classes, teachers, people from college, search their profiles on FB HAHA and it's so much fun.
The good ones, the true ones? They'll stay. ❤️ As the time passes by you realize you have less people around, but the ones you have are the real ones! And it'll be a blast for all of you to share all of the milestones of your lives: first job, first salary, first apartment, first marriage and so goes on. 

Gold piece of advice ❤️ also, I cannot second enough what @bloomeighty said about financial independence! Very true!
It's hard when we're used to a place/a situation/people and then life changes and we just have to move on. I'm quite older than you guys (graduated in December 2013) and at the time I think all of us were so tired of school and so eager to "start living" that we didn't feel emotional at all. I think it's more of a cultural thing but here in my country engineering students seem to graduate never wanting to look back haha cursing everyone and everything related to their undergrad experience. I didn't see it that way... I had a great undergrad experience, which gave me my best friend, a 4-year relationship (which ended, but yeah that's another story rs) and great memories...
Unfortunately... people move on and it's hard to keep in touch =( we start by meeting once a month, then once every two months, then at birthdays... and then the inevitable happens: meetings at weddings and baby showers! haha your old group of friends is now in their early 30s!! 
But you know what? That's the beauty of it! I mean... I met my best friend at my very first day in college, 10 years ago. And she's still my best friend. We talk about other things now, but sometimes we just sit and remember classes, teachers, people from college, search their profiles on FB HAHA and it's so much fun.
The good ones, the true ones? They'll stay. ❤️ As the time passes by you realize you have less people around, but the ones you have are the real ones! And it'll be a blast for all of you to share all of the milestones of your lives: first job, first salary, first apartment, first marriage and so goes on. 

It’s a “peace feeling”, isn’t it? I feel the same! I’m not going to my first choice but I’m going to a good school, the one who wanted me from the beginning and from whom I get a good vibe!
We can finally start planning ahead and fall in love with our new countries/cities ♥️
 

Well, I had no luck getting off the waitlist at Rice. But now I don't have to stress about the process, since I am officially going to the only school that wanted me Headed to WashU this fall. Glad this process is over. Not how I imagined this to unfold. Sad to leave Chicago in a few months, but I'm gonna learn to like St. Louis. And I have a great pair of potential advisors, so I'm not worried about academic fit.

Finally, I got off waitlist at Emory!!
I was notified to be waitlisted for the interview in January. Yesterday, I was invited for an interview and today I got an admissions offer. Please, dont give up-there are more 4days until April15

Guilty pleasure: watching culinary reality shows.
Real life: I have 5 delivery apps I use on a daily basis, lunch and dinner. 6 sabbatical months later, doing nothing and being anxious all day, I put on 13 pounds. Nobody notices cause before I was almost *too* thin hahaha but when I look at the scale *I* know, you know?  
And I feel like doing nothing! In my mind I’ll just start moving on with my life once I know all the results and decide where I’m going! 

Thank you very much for your replies, @fireuponthedeep and @GoPackGo89! I’ll definitely look into these ideas when the program starts! 
As you said, @fireuponthedeep, best case scenario would be to find opportunities within the statistics/applied math departments, but if that’s not the case I wouldn’t mind to get back to my engineering roots, especially because there are some areas there I really like and I used to be good at (process control, for example).

I'll share an idea I heard recently. Find professors on campus who are looking to hire postdocs. This could be evidence they are looking to expand their lab and might have startup money to hire a qualified masters level student.
 

I feel somewhat like the blind leading the blind since I don't know for sure, beyond what I've been told and seen on the UMN job boards, so take this with a grain of salt! But I think that that is a definite possibility. The UMN internal job search portal lists available graduate assistantships that anyone can view and apply for. They looked like normal job applications, you submit your resume and if you have the requisite skills potentially they'll hire you. So if you were to see a RA/TA position in the Chem E department and you have what they're looking for, I don't see why you couldn't apply for it! Additionally, I know Emory has a similar portal to look for RA/TA positions, so I'd imagine they're fairly ubiquitous across American universities, but I can't definitively say that every school has one. That would depend on your school, but there's still the option of manually searching through the Chem E department and finding professors you think you could help, then emailing them. Worst case scenario they ignore you, assuming you're polite and respectful in your email. 
I will say that it seems likely that preference might be given to students w/in their own department, and I'm sure there are downsides to seeking positions outside the biostats/stats department if you're looking for research opportunities specifically w/in biostats/stats. But for my part I just want my masters to be cheap and don't really care about the research since I'm gunning for an industry job after I'm done. UMN is so big that there seem to be a surplus of GA positions available, you just need the skills for them and they don't seem to care what department you're in if you can help. Obviously in an ideal world you'd find something in the biostats/stats department, but life ain't always that idyllic.
As far as the licensed engineer question, I honestly don't know, but I guess that would depend on the specifications of the individual position. If it's a TA position, it doesn't seem like you'd need one? But I have no clue, I know nothing about engineering lol. Maybe try posting on one of the engineering subforums and see if they've been required to have engineering licenses for those postions?

Today I’m in the kitten mood... plus a bottle of white wine and tons of SVU old episodes hahaha