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Panicsville State of the Union - Transmission 001


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Anxious. All of my schools notify on the late side. The two schools I want the most respond in late Feb and mid-March, respectively. The only chance I have of hearing anything even remotely soon is Vanderbilt, which should be notifying...oh...any second now? (The last few years people have received emails on the last Saturday of January. That clicking you hear is the button on my mouse as I compulsively refresh).

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16 minutes ago, M(allthevowels)H said:

Anxious. All of my schools notify on the late side. The two schools I want the most respond in late Feb and mid-March, respectively. The only chance I have of hearing anything even remotely soon is Vanderbilt, which should be notifying...oh...any second now? (The last few years people have received emails on the last Saturday of January. That clicking you hear is the button on my mouse as I compulsively refresh).

Omg vandy 

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I'm anxious and pessimistic with a shot of hopeful self-delusion, but I also am yet ti hear anything concrete. Wonder how people who have an acceptance under their belt are feeling as it must make the whole ordeal taste different.

I assume every week will be different as we enter February so prepare for more transmissions!

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24 minutes ago, WildeThing said:

Wonder how people who have an acceptance under their belt are feeling as it must make the whole ordeal taste different.

I don't want to be a boner (@Yanaka playfully raised this point in the Backstreet Boys thread), but having an acceptance does make things better. Work on Thursday was orders of magnitude better knowing that I'll be saying adios motherfuckers in a few months (or earlier -- I hope). 

That said, I'm still pretty anxious about the rest of the decisions. I've got nothing bad to say about OSU -- I'd be honored to study there -- but I kind of want to leave Ohio and the Midwest. I've been here for twenty-three years -- my entire life -- and I'd very much like a break. There's a whole world out there, after all! I want to eat freshly caught fish and smell the ocean spray; I want to live near a city with more people than I can fathom; I want to hear noise past 10 p.m.! 

But I'm still quite nervous, and I have a feeling that the next month will be a long one. 

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57 minutes ago, WildeThing said:

I'm anxious and pessimistic with a shot of hopeful self-delusion, but I also am yet ti hear anything concrete. Wonder how people who have an acceptance under their belt are feeling as it must make the whole ordeal taste different.

I assume every week will be different as we enter February so prepare for more transmissions!

I hope it's OK for me to chime in. After a first season (MA offer) and second season (complete shut-out), the taste is absolutely different. I feel so grateful for what I have and I am excited about preparing for The Return.

I also have a "little" and a "bigger" fear.

The "little" fear: I'm not sure how to think about my dream schools as they haven't reported yet. Part of me wants to hold onto hope/ambition; part of me wants to focus entirely on what I do have because not focusing on that makes me feel like an ungrateful brat.

The "bigger" fear: what if I feel uncomfortable/out of place when I get to where I'm going? CMU and Temple were surprises since my application was really focused on the Caribbean and neither department is really "strong" in that sense, at least from what I could tell; moreover, CMU is a TINY department with a ~ srsly smol~ PhD group. I trust that the faculty at both places made the right call but what if I end up disappointing them?  In short, what if I f**k up and am shitty and end up taking up space that a better candidate could have used?

FWIW, my concerns are no comparable to the question of "will I be accepted" - that's the hardest place to be.

Edited by a_sort_of_fractious_angel
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5 minutes ago, a_sort_of_fractious_angel said:

I hope it's OK for me to chime in. After a first season (MA offer) and second season (complete shut-out), the taste is absolutely different.

I also hope it's okay if I add to this because my situation is very similar. I was shut out last year while completing my MA and I too feel overwhelmingly grateful and agree that the experience is totally different. I was a wreck last year throughout the whole process so I just feel so relieved and lucky and grateful to have an acceptance -- especially an early acceptance. But I also wanted to chime in here to say just that -- it is still so early. There are still so many programs that have yet to make decisions (and won't for at least a few weeks or so) so chin up everyone! 

34 minutes ago, FreakyFoucault said:

Work on Thursday was orders of magnitude better knowing that I'll be saying adios motherfuckers in a few months (or earlier -- I hope). 

That said, I'm still pretty anxious about the rest of the decisions.

YES to all of this. I too am anxious about the rest of the decisions but it's so nice to know that my future isn't so uncertain anymore and I don't have to worry about reapplying to my current teaching job (which, I don't hate by any means but I'm ready to be a student again). No matter what else happens, I am getting my P.hD.

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7 minutes ago, Yanaka said:

@FreakyFoucaultgosh. 23 years? You're so young!

I was just going to say that I’m also a member of the 23-year-old club, but then I remembered that I turned 24 like three months ago. I feel like it’s just going to get harder and harder to remember how old I am...

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10 minutes ago, punctilious said:

I feel like it’s just going to get harder and harder to remember how old I am...

Last year, I remembered that my age was a Taylor Swift song. This year, I remember that last year, my age was a Taylor Swift song. But this method isn’t sustainable, so idk what imma do next year... 

Edited by FreakyFoucault
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4 minutes ago, FreakyFoucault said:

Last year, I remembered that my age was a Taylor Swift song. This year, I remember that last year, my age was a Taylor Swift song. But this method isn’t sustainable, so idk what imma do next year... 

23 is your Jordan year! (from a fellow 23 year old)

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11 minutes ago, punctilious said:

I was just going to say that I’m also a member of the 23-year-old club, but then I remembered that I turned 24 like three months ago. I feel like it’s just going to get harder and harder to remember how old I am...

I'm often still 25 when someone asks me. But when I complain and tell someone they're young, I'm past 27 again!

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4 hours ago, Wooshkuh said:

23 was so long ago. Anyone else in the nearly 30 club? 

27 here, don't know if that counts. 

As far as waiting for responses with an acceptance: it's weird. When I applied, I didn't really have a #1 Top Choice, which also isn't helping. I'm sure I'd be happy at OSU, but -- if I end up in a position to be able to choose -- probably I will end up making another spreadsheet to help me decide. Plus I'm on waitlists, and lord knows when I'll find out about those results. So basically, I'm still very stressed, though it's somewhat easier than it was a week ago. 

It is very, very nice to know that I'll have somewhere to be, come August. 

7 hours ago, a_sort_of_fractious_angel said:

I hope it's OK for me to chime in. After a first season (MA offer) and second season (complete shut-out), the taste is absolutely different. I feel so grateful for what I have The "bigger" fear: what if I feel uncomfortable/out of place when I get to where I'm going? CMU and Temple were surprises since my application was really focused on the Caribbean and neither department is really "strong" in that sense, at least from what I could tell; moreover, CMU is a TINY department with a ~ srsly smol~ PhD group. I trust that the faculty at both places made the right call but what if I end up disappointing them?  In short, what if I f**k up and am shitty and end up taking up space that a better candidate could have used?

THIS. Who knew being accepted would trigger such Imposter Syndrome?? Ugh.

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1 hour ago, Tober said:

Reading these forums is giving me some serious anxiety about the quality of my app. I'm telling myself that there's nothing I can do now, so there's no point in stressing myself out. Still... :( 

 

This forum can be anxiety-inducing and extremely addictive. I keep telling myself that moderation is key, but that's really hard to do. Hang in there @Tober !!

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