What are you going to do immediately after you read that rejection letter?

[everygirl]

I am posting while drinking, as I just got back from a six hour bitch session with other grad school hopefuls, and of course cheap wine was involved. I came back home and checked the results page, as I am wont to do every free second I have.

I just saw the thread "What were you doing when you got your acceptance?" so I thought I'd start a complimentary thread.... What do you plan to do immediately after you get rejection letter?" IF you get that rejection letter from that incredibly competitive, top school in your dream city and superstar professors? Thereby crushing all your girlish dreams?

Because I'm unoriginal and staring at a bottle of wine, if I see that email on my Blackberry, I think I'll DRINK! No matter what time of day it is. Maybe I'll go with something horrible and dry tasting, because I'll never want to drink that wine again after that moment.

What about you? What will you do if you see that email/snail mail sitting in your mailbox?

I say... drink! Rounds for everyone!

[Trin]

Oo, I have a plan for this:

1. Finish the performance. (It's about 75 percent likely I'll find out just before I go on stage for one of three performances of the Vagina Monologues.)

2. Text or call my SO the results. (BTW, he has that cute Rejected! brochure someone made in his bag so he's ready for the moment.)

3. Have a margarita on the rocks with salt, because margaritas are for elections, fatalities, and grad school rejections.

4. Go home with SO, watch some TV, cry some.

5. Post an update to Twitter, FB, and LJ.

Things I will try not to do:

1. Cry in public.

2. Have more than one margarita.

3. Binge on carbs so that I puff up and feel crappy later.

4. Sabotage my graduation plans by not finishing papers and stuff because I am sulky and depressed.

5. Call my children and cry on the phone to them, because damn, that's not what you want to hear when you're a college student either, your mother on the phone sobbing about not getting into grad school and probably being a terrible parent, too, especially when mid-terms are coming up and she talks for *hours* if you let her, especially when she's all weepy about life stuff, and you can't blow her off because WTF, your mother. is. crying.

Edited March 2, 2011 by Trin

[jmacnomad]

I got my first rejection on the day that I passed my black belt test in karate.

[FingersCrossedX]

I got rejected by my most preferred school yesterday. I wasn't sad though. I saw it coming and knew other people had phone interviews and I had heard nothing. I knew my rejection was on its way.

I think I took it so well because I was already accepted by one program. It was no ego booster but I wasn't devastated. Also, it's Mardi Gras. No one can be sad during Mardi Gras. It's the most wonderful time of they year!

Edited March 2, 2011 by FingersCrossedX

[The Lorax]

Trin - as a child of a mother who has recently cried to her on the phone - I commend your good sense, and your children's psyches will thank you when they make it into full adulthood as functional human beings!!

[Euthus]

Wow! I love your department.

I KNOW! I'm mostly depressed about having to leave them. They've become such a wonderful community to be with. I'm really worried about being able to form that same sense of community elsewhere. They're my academic/psychological/emotional support system. I swear, one of my profs is becoming my life coach.

[GI1]

Got my first rejection today, the thing that hurts the most is that it was not a top school , really sad...I can't even cry...have no acceptances so far, what am I going to do?

Edited March 2, 2011 by GI1

[ikatticus]

Rip it up, say lots of expletives, call my mum, wallow for a couple of days, then move on.

This is why I don't want to call anywhere chasing up my application as I doubt I could hold myself together/be gracious on the phone.

[snes]

One of my letters arrived the day of my friend's birthday party for which I was going to be the designated driver. So then I made someone else be the driver.

[DrPepper-olic]

Got my first rejection today, the thing that hurts the most is that it was not a top school , really sad...I can't even cry...have no acceptances so far, what am I going to do?

I am totally in that boat. I haven't really been smiling at all lately. (Actually, I've been living like a severely depressed person for about a week.) I bet people at work think either someone has died or that I really hate my job. Really I'm just questioning if I could ever be truly happy outside of academia, never really exploring the governing dynamics of human behavior. I'm still getting a "no" from my gut...

This is why I don't want to call anywhere chasing up my application as I doubt I could hold myself together/be gracious on the phone.

I also think I might not hold it together well. I've considered sending emails, but I would irrationally believe it was my fault if they told me I was rejected. I will just have to take the news as it comes.

Sigh.

[ikatticus]

I've considered sending emails, but I would irrationally believe it was my fault if they told me I was rejected. I will just have to take the news as it comes.

Sigh.

I feel exactly the same! Like they will read my email and say 'well if she can't be bothered to wait for us to make a decision, just reject her'. Totally irrational, but the waiting game does crazy things to a person!

[GI1]

BTW my mom is awesome, after my first rejection she told me not to worry and that the Uni. I got rejected from wasn't that good, although I did not want to be rejected for the reason she mentioned (I really don't like ppl telling that I will get in somewhere) but I must be honest, I feel much better now, her words were encouraging. Thank you mommy

[Lanaaa]

Hmm... mine definitely didn't feel that bad... maybe when I get rejected from everywhere, I'll feel worse about it... I was vaguely annoyed for about a minute, shrugged, and went back to work.

Rejection doesn't bother me. It's the not knowing that's killing me. I'm stressed because I have one reject and three open questions, with the reject being from the lowest ranked of the four that I applied to.

It was stupid of me to apply in October. Now I feel like its been so freaking long...

I feel the same way. Like getting rejected sucks, but I can always rationalize that I didn't really want to go there anyway. What is worse is....right now for example, having nothing to do but go on this forum and try to ease my anxiety by reading posts from other anxious applicants.

[jaxzwolf]

I had an interview last weekend at my dream school. If I end up receiving a rejection letter after coming so close, I might come apart. I'll start by sending my mom a text message, and then getting pissed about whatever platitude she sends in reply, regardless of the fact that she's being genuine. I never cry, but I can imagine a long sobbing session, complete with alternating irate, cursing bits and desperate self-pitying bits. I will curse the world for its unfairness and wonder why I have to be so tormented, with the universe just dangling my dream tantalizingly close in front of me, luring me into dreams of success and happiness, and then snatching it away with a cruel "HAHA!" to leave me rotting in despair and wondering why I even tired in the first place. Then I'll try and move on to positive thoughts about other schools, but I'll keep coming back to the fact that none of them will even compare to my dream school, and that I'll end up living like a vagrant and hating whatever grad school I end up in because it's just not the same.

And then chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Or cake. Or donuts. Or possibly chocolate cake donuts.

Later on I'll get over it and move on. But it might be a long, hard road to get there.

This is almost exactly what happened-- I received the rejection this morning. I got an email from the POI that said something along the lines of "it was good to meet you, but I've decided to select another candidate." Not so bad, right? Except he ADDRESSED IT TO SOMEONE ELSE! So I had a fleeting moment where hope sprang up again, screaming "Maybe it's not too late! Maybe he does intend to accept you and just got his emails mixed up! Maybe the acceptance is on the way!" Of course, I emailed him back immediately and asked to clarify. "Ahem, this is jaxzwolf, not (random other person). Did you mean to reject me, really?"

Of course he meant it. "Whoops, sorry-- yeah, you're rejected, Just forgot to change the name." Wow... way to kick me while I'm down, add insult to injury, etc.

Instead of sending my mom a text message I called her and spent half an hour on the phone sobbing, then fell apart again at work. Luckily, my boss is patient and pretty understanding, and was with me throughout last year when I was rejected across the board, so she gave me some time to myself and set me to some tasks that I usually enjoy. Super thankful for that.

But really, other than that, this rejection is playing out almost exactly as I imagined. The sobbing was there, the world-cursing showed up early on, and I'm currently trying to excite myself about other programs, despite the fact that I keep thinking, "but Dream School was such a perfect fit!"

*sigh*

Oh, and I went for cookies instead of chocolate.

Edited March 3, 2011 by jaxzwolf

[Langoustine]

I got one rejection so far (waiting on 4!) and my reaction was very nonchalant...granted it was the school I was least excited about, the research fit was not completely there. Read it, OK, then went and ate something fattening and zoned out with DVDs of Friends...not dramatic at all.

My acceptance however...that has yet to be experienced!

[The Lorax]

Ok, so it happened. I got that rejection from that dream school. And do you know what? the effing liquor store near my house is CLOSED FOR CONSTRUCTION!! And, my significant other has band practice tonight. So all my "pick myself up off my feet and party" plans are foiled. I'm going to have to console myself with only the chinese take out. *pout*

[DrPepper-olic]

Ok, so it happened. I got that rejection from that dream school. And do you know what? the effing liquor store near my house is CLOSED FOR CONSTRUCTION!! And, my significant other has band practice tonight. So all my "pick myself up off my feet and party" plans are foiled. I'm going to have to console myself with only the chinese take out. *pout*

Ugh. Why don't liquor stores deliver like Chinese restaurants and pizza places do?

[Trin]

Ok, so it happened. I got that rejection from that dream school. And do you know what? the effing liquor store near my house is CLOSED FOR CONSTRUCTION!! And, my significant other has band practice tonight. So all my "pick myself up off my feet and party" plans are foiled. I'm going to have to console myself with only the chinese take out. *pout*

And that's why you have to buy the liquor in advance, that's all I'm saying. I am considering optimistically carrying a mini-split of champagne in my bag next Thurs/Friday, to use in case of acceptance. Perhaps I should have a mini bottle of something stronger in there too, for rejection. :-)

[mandarin.orange]

I got a rejection last week. Strangely, after obsessing so much and checking my status online compulsively since the day I sent it in, the actual notification moment really caught me off-guard when I was preoccupied with other things. It was the most polite, to-the-point email I could imagine. I can't even get some cheap laughs making fun of the grammar. I felt a sudden compulsion to go for a walk down the street. I live within walking distance of a dog bar. I wanted nothing more than to go hang out with some DOGS.

Sadly, they are still closed for the winter on weekdays, so I called up and convinced my BF to meet me for pizza with his doggie.

[OkayforNow]

Knowing me...cry

[Lisa44201]

An author received a bad review by a critic in the local newspaper. The author wrote the following letter to that critic:

"Dear Sir / Madam,

I am sitting in the smallest room in my house with your review in front of me.

Very soon, it will be behind me."

Happy thoughts, people. Happy thoughts.

[Generic Internet Persona]

I had a pretty good laugh after I got my first rejection letter. You've gotta keep a good sense of humor about it. I wasn't particularly interested in that program anyway. I just applied because the funding was very attractive. I know that's probably not the best reason for applying to a graduate program, but I figured the worst they could tell me was no. Besides, I had an application fee waiver, so I didn't really have anything to lose.

By that time, I'd already been accepted to two different programs, each with their own merit. I'm still waiting to get official letters of admittance or rejection from three schools, and I probably won't feel bad if I get rejected to one or all of them. If anything, being rejected at all three would make my final decision much easier! Anyway, I'd probably feel a little worse if my first notification from anywhere was a rejection, or if I got rejected from everywhere I applied, especially since I didn't equip myself with a Plan B. Either way, having a good attitude about it is the best way to go, whether the news is good or bad.

[oldwolf]

Got rejected from Johns Hopkins ...

Ate an entire pizza and watched Sleepless in Seattle.

[mj53]

Probably go to the gym for a bit and take out my frustrations, then man up and figure out what I should do next to get to where I want to go.

[NoMoreABD]

Probably go to the gym for a bit and take out my frustrations, then man up and figure out what I should do next to get to where I want to go.

I'm going to the gym as a preemptive action - pre-rejection.

It helps to distract me from the endless waiting, and to balance future pizza eating upon rejection

[yup. still waiting on all the programs I applied to]

[StellaHaiti2]

Yeah, I wish I had an acceptance under my belt already... I should have applied to another safety school with an early notification date just as an ego-shield. I did that for my undergraduate applications and it kept me pretty calm.

I got rejected from the #5 school of 5 I applied to (it was not a safety school), so it stung a little less because of that. I also said to myself, "Now, you don't have to spend $1000 to go visit!" I also thought about my mom being secretly pleased I wasn't moving all the way across from country from her. Then I found this website and started to read everything, telling myself all the while, "I'm being productive in case I have to apply again, right? SOB." I then googled news about the school I was rejected from and gleefully read bad news.

My boyfriend had a wonderful interview with their PhD department though and they are drooling over him (they invited him to speak at their school on his work on the very day I was rejected). In any case, he was not there to comfort me because he was at the school. Gaaah. I wish they sent the email one day earlier so I could have asked him to casually mention that he is less interested because I did not get accepted. REVENGEEEEEE.

Even though I did my best to avoid picking a favorite school or getting attached to a certain future, I am pretty certain I will cry if I am not accepted at a few that seem within my grasp.