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Sh*t Grad Applicants Say


gellert

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In the spirit of the previous post, how about some Sh*t Grad Applicants Say?

For example:

"I just realized I used a comma splice in my SOP. OMG this is an insta-rejection, isn't it? Tell me now. It's better if you just tell me now."

"So...what're your stats?"

"Hi! Congrats on your acceptance to Awesomesauce University! ...So who was your POI?"

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"Do you think that acceptance to Blarvard U on the results survey is fake??"

"Not any school gives any indication of any date when any applicant would hear any sort of news. That's why I stalk GradCafe."

"I just reread my SoP and I hate myself now."

"I am an imposter, so I don't want an interview lest my POIs find that out."

"I love mondays!"

"My POI at Blarvard U has a twitter and he tweeted about the weather being bad but I can't help thinking that he's talking about applications. :/"

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"I got a form letter inviting me to an interview, but I can't help but think there's some subtext behind it.... Help me figure out what it *really* means!"

"I e-mailed one of my PoIs nearly 2 hours ago, and I saw that they've updated something on their website in between now and then! How rude that they didn't respond to me first!"

Edited by Eigen
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To roommates:

"Hey everyone, want to hear the latest update? I submitted another application. No, I'm not done yet."

"Hey everyone, want to hear the latest update? I finally finished submitting applications."

"Hey everyone, want to hear the latest update? I haven't heard back from any schools yet!"

"Hey everyone, should I call or email Prof. X, Recommender Y, University Q again, or should I just wait?"

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"It's mid-January. Should I give up? Yeah I'll just give up." << sh*t gellert actually said

"Make sure you borrow a friend's phone if you call the department for updates. Don't want them to link your phone number to your app. Even better, use an out of state area code and disguise your voice. Foolproof!"

"So I have a 3.9 GPA and 1590 GREs, with eight years' research experience and fourteen first-author publications and a stellar fit. Chance me? I think I'm gonna get rejected from ALL THE SCHOOLS. :( "

"Academia.edu says I've been googled four times today! What do you think that means?"

Edited by gellert
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"I haven't received any emails in an hour - wtf, is my email broken??"

*tries to hold back desire to ask friend to email me just to see if it's still working.

Yep, that actually happened. I am not proud.

"I don't want to work in the basement office because I don't get cell phone service. What if someone calllllls?"

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"Why are all my friends getting their acceptances already and I'm hearing nothing?!"

(to said friend) : "I am soooo happy for you; you totally deserve it" while thinking... b*tch.

"If I don't get in anywhere, I guess I can just stay at the restaurant and try to be a manager..."

"WHY ARE ALL MY RECOMMENDATIONS LATE?!?"

"Whatever, I don't think I still want to go there anyhow." (before even getting rejected, mind you... just a mental rejection :P )

... all things said by me in the past week...

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Okay...What I literally said...after I got my first unofficial rejection...(yep, I have, what the Japanese say, a Tofu-ish mentality)

"I just realized I was never interested in *insert field* to begin with..."

@dec4rhapsody, what's a Tofu-ish mentality?

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"Submitted?!" Why isn't it "Complete?!" Ohmygosh, is my application incomplete?! Are they going to automatically reject me?! I have to call!

Why haven't I heard anything?! Aahhhhh.

I like this. Its cathartic. I get to make fun of myself.

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