Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[shikkui]

I'm irritated that I still haven't heard back from most of the schools that I applied to this year...  Not that it really matters at this point, but considering the amount of money I've paid to each school for the application fee, I think it's unacceptable how late they are past the decision date.

[MinaminoTeku]

I'm irritated that my place of employment has had my email address for a month and didn't tell me I had access to it until today... Which means I had emails in there from way back when from students who were in my class. Uuugggghhh dafuq mates?!

[angesradieux]

Mini little vent. I went to see Beauty and the Beast today. For the most part, it was really good. But then there's a mention of the plague, and I was like huh? There was nothing else medieval about the scenery. From the music, fashion, scenery, etc. it looked like there was a lot of baroque influence and I'd say it was 18th century France. So the plague just seemed totally out of left field, and I spent a fair amount of time after sitting there confused, thinking "Wait. What time period iis this?" And I'm just going on a little rant here because that anachronism really irritated me and no one else I know really cares about stuff like that. Silly little vent, but there it is.

[OptimiscallyAnxious]

I brought Mexican sweet bread to have with my tea this morning. I left it in the break room with my tea while I went to the office to set my things down and when I came back the bread was gone. My tea however is still there. I had set both items at the table on the same napkin and the cup has my name on it. I'm kind of annoyed. 

[Kayce]

I was told by a prof at a school that she would give me an update on my app TODAY! but I haven't heard anything and I'm so impatient and I keep checking my email a billion times! I just need to know so that I can figure out which program to attend. WAITING IS THE WORST

[DiscoTech]

On 1/19/2017 at 2:52 PM, angesradieux said:

I'm so angry. I've been working on a project with a professor for about two years. I approached him about the project. This wasn't something he'd been working on prior to meeting me. It has always been our project. Well, after two years of working, we're at the point of drawing up contracts for publishing the book. Great. Except now he's minimizing my contribution and I feel like he's pulling the whole thing right out from under me. This is a book translation. The work was divided that I did the entire initial translation, and he would edit. So I translated the whole book, with the exception of a paragraph here and there that I may have missed when my eye jumped on the page, and primary sources not in the same language as the book, that I wasn't able to work with. But for all intents and purpose, it's my translation, and this project has always been "my baby" so to speak. It was difficult. It's a serious historical text, and I undertook the translation when I was just beginning the first intermediate level (131 at my school) French class. So it was a massive undertaking and something that I really, really labored on.

The first red flag was yesterday. I received an e-mail addressed to me and other people to look for an e-mail from the publisher seeking official permission to use our work. One of these people I'd never even heard of before. No mention of her in any previous conversations, e-mail exchanges, what have you. Just here she is, out of the blue, with her name apparently going on what I understood to be a project belonging to me and this professor. I asked him who she was, and he dodged the issue. He told me who she is, but not anything of substance regarding her role in this project.

Well, I e-mailed him today again a bit more bluntly, asking specifically how our names will appear. My name is first in the list, but we're all listed as translators without any distinction. But, naturally, his name is at dead center as "edited and with an introduction by: Professor Slime Bucket". Now I'm really furious. Because these people didn't translate. I translated, and if anything they were involved in editing and refining my original translation. But with all of us just listed as translators, it looks like we all contributed equally, which greatly diminishes my role. I mean, I proposed the project. He wasn't planning on doing this at all until I came along. Without me, there wouldn't be a book to publish. And his e-mail was just like "Oh! Yeah. You'll see I put your name first, because you got the ball rolling. And don't worry! You'll all receive a free hard copy of the book when all is said and done."

Now I don't know what to do. I'm not comfortable with this. Like, I'm livid to the point where I'm considering withholding my permission when the publisher e-mails me. On the one hand, that robs me of my very much anticipated first publication and what should be among the greatest achievements of my undergraduate career. On the other, is having a publication even worth it when I'm just listed as one of four, with no indication that this was predominantly my work? I don't know what to do. Do I flat out tell this guy that I'm not comfortable with this? Is it even worth it? Do I go ahead with it anyway, even if I'm feeling cheated? Or do I withhold my permission, so this way nobody gets a publication from it? I feel like I'm going to cry. And it's worse because in the past, I had a pretty abusive relationship with a professor. So I'm always a little nervous about building relationships with professors now. But against my better judgement, I trusted this guy. And after two years of working together, I liked him and thought that we had a good rapport as colleagues now. And he turns around and does this to me. Now I'm questioning everything. Do I even want to be a part of academia, if they go ahead and take advantage of people like this? Can I commit to working with a professor on a doctoral dissertation for an extended period of time when all prior experiences point to professors being people who generally can't be trusted? That was my fear all along. I knew that trusting a possible thesis adviser was going to be a massive hurdle for me. But I looked to people--this guy among the very short list--from undergrad who turned out being helpful and trustworthy. And it turns out, that was a lie and I was right to be skeptical.

I'm so upset. I poured so much of my time and energy into this. And for what? A free hard copy of the book. So I can stare at that list of names and be reminded every day of how I was taken advantage of and had my work on my very first project diminished and any substantial credit for what I did ripped out from under me. I'm very disillusioned with academia as a whole now.

You need to run this up the chain of command. The vice Provost of Ethics or something. Whatever they call that person that you're University. There are ways for resolving these kinds of issues. It is not uncommon.

[shadowclaw]

On 3/22/2017 at 7:57 PM, angesradieux said:

Mini little vent. I went to see Beauty and the Beast today. For the most part, it was really good. But then there's a mention of the plague, and I was like huh? There was nothing else medieval about the scenery. From the music, fashion, scenery, etc. it looked like there was a lot of baroque influence and I'd say it was 18th century France. So the plague just seemed totally out of left field, and I spent a fair amount of time after sitting there confused, thinking "Wait. What time period iis this?" And I'm just going on a little rant here because that anachronism really irritated me and no one else I know really cares about stuff like that. Silly little vent, but there it is.

I haven't seen the new film yet (perhaps I will later today), so I don't know the context. However, there were outbreaks of the plague in Europe into the 19th century (and occasionally you still hear reports of cases in modern times). There was a large outbreak in Marseille in 1720, which is close to when I assume the story takes place (it was originally written in 1740). So I don't think it's too unreasonable to include a reference to it, depending on how it's done... I recall a line by Belle's father from the trailer saying little towns were safe. Perhaps they moved to the little town to escape the threat of plague in big cities like Marseille?

What I'm curious about is why exactly there is a prince in a castle in the woods in 18th century France. This would have made sense if the story took place in the area of Germany and central Europe that was broken up into many small sovereign states. However, it doesn't really make sense for a French prince to be in some random castle in the forest, especially with nobody looking for him. Although I'm looking at Wikipedia right now to try to answer my own question, and I see that Prince is a title in the French nobility (and different from the concept of a prince as the son of the king), given to the eldest son of a duke, which makes a bit more sense.

[nicoleMSW]

On 2/6/2014 at 3:06 PM, DeafAudi said:

 

Ugh, me too, me too. Except I'm not even sure if I want to break up...my heart is telling me that everything is wrong and we are not compatible but it's hard to just throw 6 years down the drain...

Dealing with a very tough and very fresh break up here too, plus a couple of rejections from Master's programs. Feeling underwhelmed with life right now.

[angesradieux]

6 hours ago, shadowclaw said:

I haven't seen the new film yet (perhaps I will later today), so I don't know the context. However, there were outbreaks of the plague in Europe into the 19th century (and occasionally you still hear reports of cases in modern times). There was a large outbreak in Marseille in 1720, which is close to when I assume the story takes place (it was originally written in 1740). So I don't think it's too unreasonable to include a reference to it, depending on how it's done... I recall a line by Belle's father from the trailer saying little towns were safe. Perhaps they moved to the little town to escape the threat of plague in big cities like Marseille?

What I'm curious about is why exactly there is a prince in a castle in the woods in 18th century France. This would have made sense if the story took place in the area of Germany and central Europe that was broken up into many small sovereign states. However, it doesn't really make sense for a French prince to be in some random castle in the forest, especially with nobody looking for him. Although I'm looking at Wikipedia right now to try to answer my own question, and I see that Prince is a title in the French nobility (and different from the concept of a prince as the son of the king), given to the eldest son of a duke, which makes a bit more sense.

I mean it was in reference to Paris, so perhaps it's the big city thing. But something about the way they did it just struck me as really out of place. I don't know, though. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seemed kind of jarring to me.

[Need Coffee in an IV]

@shadowclaw Ah well I hope it gets better between you too! My vent is that I'm still waiting on major grades in one of my classes. I know grades shouldn't matter but since I'm in a terminal masters, they do matter. I've submitted that work 4 weeks agooooooo. Also I'm super happy that my first ever project/research has been accepted to a conference!!!!!!!!! Now I'm scrambling to get the ball rolling on this, since theres so much paperwork. Also I'm a little annoyed because I almost messed myself up. My project needs a facualty member to supervise me but I didn't know that. So I had to be sheepish and ask one of my professors out of the blue. At least I caught it and my IRB request wasn't turned down

[OptimiscallyAnxious]

12 minutes ago, Need Coffee in an IV said:

@shadowclaw Ah well I hope it gets better between you too! My vent is that I'm still waiting on major grades in one of my classes. I know grades shouldn't matter but since I'm in a terminal masters, they do matter. I've submitted that work 4 weeks agooooooo. Also I'm super happy that my first ever project/research has been accepted to a conference!!!!!!!!! Now I'm scrambling to get the ball rolling on this, since theres so much paperwork. Also I'm a little annoyed because I almost messed myself up. My project needs a facualty member to supervise me but I didn't know that. So I had to be sheepish and ask one of my professors out of the blue. At least I caught it and my IRB request wasn't turned down

Woohoo congratulations on your conference acceptance!!! 

[Need Coffee in an IV]

2 minutes ago, OptimiscallyAnxious said:

Woohoo congratulations on your conference acceptance!!! 

Thank you! I'm so happy/nervous/excited! I'm a weirdo but I love conferences, particularity when they have awesome food

[Evie95]

I finally accepted the fact that I was rejected by my dream school. I would have had no problem with the rejection if they didn't imply multiple times that I was definitely going to get in. For example, they stated in the shortlist email that "we can admit all 12 of you, and have done so in the past" (In previous years, almost everyone who interviewed got in). The welcome package included things like funding details, orientation date etc. All faculty members spoke in a way as if I was already admitted.

But no, they didn't only rejected me, but also the other 3 micro-students, because they all of a sudden want to shrink the program size and decided to only take the macro-students. Shouldn't this decision be made earlier?? If they weren't going to take any micro-students, why did they invite us to the interviews and misled us into thinking that we were definitely going to get in??? Even my old advisor initially thought that the rejection email was sent out by error, cuz she couldn't even believe it.

I'm still shocked that such a prestigious university can do something so frustrating.....

[SocCog]

I am seriously at the verge of tears. So, still nothing from the eight schools I've been waiting on. But I counted them as rejections long ago. Long enough ago that I found two stipended post-bac programs to apply to. I was in a serious depression. I was staying in bed literally all day. But the prospect of these two programs reinvigorated me. I wrote the applications and emailed my professors for letters again. I let them know that one of the programs required physical copies of letters attached to my physical application that I would need to mail before the end of March. They all responded and said they'd be happy to. One professor wrote the letter, sealed it, and left it for me to pick up 2 days later. One professor asked me to double check all the information she had on me and asked if I'd been up to anything new (told her it was all correct and no, nothing new). The professor who flaked on me in November (had to email her almost daily for 2 weeks to get her to submit her letters) replied within the hour and offered to meet up the next week. I told her I was available literally whenever. 100% availability. And then I never heard back. I've emailed almost daily. The professor who doublehecked my new information never got back to me either. Just now I got an email from her lab manager like "Oh, you needed a physical copy? Well it's Spring Break now." I said in the original email, on the form they have to print out (attached to the original email), and on the spreadsheet the lab makes you fill out to get a letter. So THREE places. So now I don't have 2 of the letters and I need them by Wednesday so I can mail them! So thanks for killing my dreams. And it was the post-bac program I was most excited about. I'm sure I can count on them for the other program, which isn't due for weeks. But UGHHHHH! That's half my prospects gone!

 

And while I was moping about this (ok this is going to sound silly), a package came. It was a skirt I'd been waiting to come forever. I open it and it said "ruby red skirt" on the package. But it's a blue sweater. Called to complain and they're sold out of my skirt. Said I could keep the sweater. Which is too small. That was just the last straw and I am crushed. 

[hippyscientist]

On 3/26/2017 at 3:20 PM, Evangeline95 said:

I finally accepted the fact that I was rejected by my dream school. I would have had no problem with the rejection if they didn't imply multiple times that I was definitely going to get in. For example, they stated in the shortlist email that "we can admit all 12 of you, and have done so in the past" (In previous years, almost everyone who interviewed got in). The welcome package included things like funding details, orientation date etc. All faculty members spoke in a way as if I was already admitted.

But no, they didn't only rejected me, but also the other 3 micro-students, because they all of a sudden want to shrink the program size and decided to only take the macro-students. Shouldn't this decision be made earlier?? If they weren't going to take any micro-students, why did they invite us to the interviews and misled us into thinking that we were definitely going to get in??? Even my old advisor initially thought that the rejection email was sent out by error, cuz she couldn't even believe it.

I'm still shocked that such a prestigious university can do something so frustrating.....

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I've certainly seen the effect of departmental politics on recruitment and admission and it definitely sucks. Hopefully you have other options that are equally exciting and what to take you on. Good luck!

[Feanor]

The secretary of the department for one the programs told me she'd "confirm" with the coordinator that they intend to make me an offer and tell me shortly. That was 2 weeks ago.

[OptimiscallyAnxious]

3 hours ago, SocCog said:

I am seriously at the verge of tears. So, still nothing from the eight schools I've been waiting on. But I counted them as rejections long ago. Long enough ago that I found two stipended post-bac programs to apply to. I was in a serious depression. I was staying in bed literally all day. But the prospect of these two programs reinvigorated me. I wrote the applications and emailed my professors for letters again. I let them know that one of the programs required physical copies of letters attached to my physical application that I would need to mail before the end of March. They all responded and said they'd be happy to. One professor wrote the letter, sealed it, and left it for me to pick up 2 days later. One professor asked me to double check all the information she had on me and asked if I'd been up to anything new (told her it was all correct and no, nothing new). The professor who flaked on me in November (had to email her almost daily for 2 weeks to get her to submit her letters) replied within the hour and offered to meet up the next week. I told her I was available literally whenever. 100% availability. And then I never heard back. I've emailed almost daily. The professor who doublehecked my new information never got back to me either. Just now I got an email from her lab manager like "Oh, you needed a physical copy? Well it's Spring Break now." I said in the original email, on the form they have to print out (attached to the original email), and on the spreadsheet the lab makes you fill out to get a letter. So THREE places. So now I don't have 2 of the letters and I need them by Wednesday so I can mail them! So thanks for killing my dreams. And it was the post-bac program I was most excited about. I'm sure I can count on them for the other program, which isn't due for weeks. But UGHHHHH! That's half my prospects gone!

 

And while I was moping about this (ok this is going to sound silly), a package came. It was a skirt I'd been waiting to come forever. I open it and it said "ruby red skirt" on the package. But it's a blue sweater. Called to complain and they're sold out of my skirt. Said I could keep the sweater. Which is too small. That was just the last straw and I am crushed. 

Oh no! I'm so sorry about the recommendation letters. I hope that by some miracle you are able to get recommendation letters before the deadline. 

[shadowclaw]

On 3/25/2017 at 6:59 AM, Need Coffee in an IV said:

@shadowclaw Ah well I hope it gets better between you too! My vent is that I'm still waiting on major grades in one of my classes. I know grades shouldn't matter but since I'm in a terminal masters, they do matter. I've submitted that work 4 weeks agooooooo. Also I'm super happy that my first ever project/research has been accepted to a conference!!!!!!!!! Now I'm scrambling to get the ball rolling on this, since theres so much paperwork. Also I'm a little annoyed because I almost messed myself up. My project needs a facualty member to supervise me but I didn't know that. So I had to be sheepish and ask one of my professors out of the blue. At least I caught it and my IRB request wasn't turned down

Something funny happened last night. I was browsing AllTrails for some hiking ideas and discovered that you can hike up to the summit of one of Oregon's tallest peaks without doing any actual mountain climbing (if that makes any sense to you). So I told my husband that I wanted to do that hike and another nearby before we move. He then asked me what I meant by move, and I was like, "when I graduate and we leave the PNW." Very seriously, he said that he didn't think I wanted to ever leave, and when I told him I wouldn't make him stay here because I know he hates it, he replied with, "I only hate parts of it." So now I'm sitting here wondering if this area is growing on him. Maybe I'll get to stay out here after all!

Although I'm pretty sure my parents would freak if I told them I was staying on this coast. Every so often, they like to remind me that I need to try to find a job on the east coast so that I can visit them more. That's another concern in the back of my mind. My mom retired about a month ago and my dad is retiring in a week. They are trying to sell their house and move to a warmer climate by the beach. My three brothers have little to do with them these days (although one is a violent drug-addicted asshole, so it's best that he's out of everyone's lives) and my sister is finding more and more excuses not to come around. If they move, I'm probably the only one who will visit them and I'm 100% certain that I'm the only one who would be willing to care for them if their health degrades in the coming years. It will be much harder to make the changes necessary to care for them if we're on opposite coasts!

PS - congrats on the conference!

Edited March 28, 2017 by shadowclaw

[Need Coffee in an IV]

5 hours ago, shadowclaw said:

Something funny happened last night. I was browsing AllTrails for some hiking ideas and discovered that you can hike up to the summit of one of Oregon's tallest peaks without doing any actual mountain climbing (if that makes any sense to you). So I told my husband that I wanted to do that hike and another nearby before we move. He then asked me what I meant by move, and I was like, "when I graduate and we leave the PNW." Very seriously, he said that he didn't think I wanted to ever leave, and when I told him I wouldn't make him stay here because I know he hates it, he replied with, "I only hate parts of it." So now I'm sitting here wondering if this area is growing on him. Maybe I'll get to stay out here after all!

Although I'm pretty sure my parents would freak if I told them I was staying on this coast. Every so often, they like to remind me that I need to try to find a job on the east coast so that I can visit them more. That's another concern in the back of my mind. My mom retired about a month ago and my dad is retiring in a week. They are trying to sell their house and move to a warmer climate by the beach. My three brothers have little to do with them these days (although one is a violent drug-addicted asshole, so it's best that he's out of everyone's lives) and my sister is finding more and more excuses not to come around. If they move, I'm probably the only one who will visit them and I'm 100% certain that I'm the only one who would be willing to care for them if their health degrades in the coming years. It will be much harder to make the changes necessary to care for them if we're on opposite coasts!

PS - congrats on the conference!

Thanks! And it seems like your husband really does care, he may just not express it in the most thoughtful manner. I know exactly what you mean about parents. I would love to move back to Washington (my childhood was spent there) or Maine. Just somewhere thats colder with mountains and tons of job opportunities. But I know that won't happen. Bf and I decided that we would move back to the Mid-Atlantic region. Its because his parents health is pretty bad so we need to be in a days drive to get to them if something goes wrong. So that leaves Virginia, North Carolina/South Carolina, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, and maybeeee Pennsylvania. But the areas we looked at are mountain regions and have jobs for me. Relationships are all about compromise! 

[Cheshire_Cat]

Dear professor,

If most of your master level students don't know how to do something and their tests reflect it, maybe it's your teaching . 

I'm not going to fail, but I'm disappointed because I am wasting my very limited time in your class and not learning anything . 

[Cheshire_Cat]

Also, the professors grading sucks because I came up with the right answers so far, but didn't get the points.  The questions are vauge. And one question is just horrible! The native English speakers were really confused, and we know English. He's trying to argue that it wasn't, but he's not a native English speaker.  Screw this. I have literally never hated a class like I do this one.  I don’t half-ass anything and he scolded us for not studying. WTF. It's not my studying, it's your teaching!  But only 4 weeks left, and this painful experience will be over.

[hippyscientist]

Screw being injured, it's been getting me down a lot today. Took a half day to read papers this afternoon because the pain was getting worse and worse to the point where I couldn't focus on the words. Start PT tomorrow, I hope it helps because right now I look like the worlds biggest slacker to all the faculty and other grad students in my department. 

[emily18ma]

I'm still waiting to hear back from my first choice MSW program. I called them last week and they said they would deliver all notifications by last week. Still nothing for me. I haven't listened to Linkin Park since middle school, but now seems like an appropriate time to listen to "In the End." 

[Need Coffee in an IV]

Elementary schools pleaseeeeee let me work with you. I don't all this hard work to be wasted. Also trying to explain my project to my bf was like hitting a brick wall. Yes I know I'm spending money on making this project and i'm trying to keep costs low but I can't get everything for free. I know he's just looking out for me. Also it would be nice if his future employer would hurry up their background check and make an official offer. he's already done one!

@Cheshire_Cat instructors really can make a class painful, sorry!

@hippyscientist I hope you feel better!

[Cheshire_Cat]

Checked my test again and was infuriated once again.  I got the correct answers.  He said multiple times that he wanted short answers, so I didn't give the full explanations, but I answered the question correctly, and then he penalized me for not expounding on my answers more.  And by penalized, I mean I got 2 points out of 10 FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER and the correct reasoning!  I just didn't define the thing he was asking about or draw a graph because he wanted a short answer!!   This professor hates me, and the feeling is mutual.