Let’s just TALK about it...

[LolJustAdmitMe]

People always urge others to find hobbies or things to keep them busy as they wait for their admissions results BUT what if we treated the process like therapy and talked about??? What if you were allowed to get those thoughts out? Maybe you’d be less inclined to think about it every 10 min (if you’re anything like me, my friends and family are TIRED of talking about it w/me). I say we give it a try and make a thread dedicated to talking about what schools we want to get into, why, why it *MEANS* so much, our worries, or really whatever comes to mind during the application process...shamelessly(I can think of a million times where I held back on a thread b/c I was scared my emotions were overkill lol).  Anybody???

Edited December 20, 2017 by LolJustAdmitMe

[basketballfrost]

2 minutes ago, LolJustAdmitMe said:

People always urge others to find hobbies or things to keep them busy as they wait for their admissions results BUT what if we treated the process like therapy and talked about??? What if you were allowed to get those thoughts out? Maybe you’d be less inclined to think about it every 10 min (if you’re anything like me, my friends and family are TIRED of talking about it w/me). I say we give it a try and make a thread dedicated to talking about what schools we want to get into, why, why it *MEANS* so much, our worries, or really whatever comes to mind during the application process...shamelessly(I can think of a million times where I held back on a thread b/c I was scared my emotions were overkill lol).  Anybody???

Totally in, have been incredibly frustrated with everything. I do believe talking about it would help, so count on me

[basketballfrost]

Why it means so much:

I am an international student, here in Brazil we don't have the insfrastructure nor the personal to conduct the research we want. I have high hopes in the US I would be able to use the top notch research facilities to investigate neuroscience... But aparently I am not going to

[LolJustAdmitMe]

2 hours ago, basketballfrost said:

Totally in, have been incredibly frustrated with everything. I do believe talking about it would help, so count on me

Yes! Same. The application process always leaves me feeling frustrated, powerless and in the dark!

 

[LolJustAdmitMe]

2 hours ago, basketballfrost said:

Why it means so much:

I am an international student, here in Brazil we don't have the insfrastructure nor the personal to conduct the research we want. I have high hopes in the US I would be able to use the top notch research facilities to investigate neuroscience... But aparently I am not going to

Wow. I had no idea research was so limited in Brazil :/ Which schools are you applying too? There are tons of American schools and sometimes it’s better to aim for lower ranked schools due to all the applications higher ranked schools receive! Overall, it seems like you’re super motivated, especially since you’re planning to move to the US! I’m sure they’ll see that in your applications!

[phyanth]

I'm torn. My dream schools with an amazing fit are WUSTL, UVic, and Berkeley. However, I had a sub 3.0 GPA from an awesome public uni. I did well in my Master's program and had 2 publications. I'm just worried that my ugrad gpa will be a deal breaker for PhD programs. I originally had three strong letters from academics, but one of the professors was dismissed after allegations of sexual assault so I had to get a letter from my former boss, who is a pathologist. I'm also worried that my fit isn't perfect for schools and they won't be interested... Literally all I want is a fully funded offer from a decent program. Anyone who has ever worked with me has told me I am incredibly bright and am one of the best at what I do, but I don't feel it. It's so common for people in my field to not even be accepted to any programs the first round, but I've honestly have never been rejected from any colleges before so I don't know how I would handle that.  

[Linda Cai]

I am from a top 5 US news university for CS and applying for a master in CS(theory). I have a good GPA with double major in CS & Math but 0 publication which is very bad. I ready on quora that a lack of publication caused by time management issues is inexplicable, and it indeed is what happened. (Although I did get some stuff done in my research, there's nothing super great). I want to leave my school for a change of environment but the only better options are nearly unreachable with my credential. 

I want to do research in theory because 1) For its elegancy and Eurekia moments of finding a new algorithm  2) For seeing the underlying principles that lies behind seemly different problems. 

My mistake is that I spent too much time enjoying problems in theory classes (which are sometimes other people's Phd lemma but after all solved problems) instead of focusing on research. Oh well there is no turning back now. Fingers crossed and will spend the next semester fixing my time management issues. 

 

[basketballfrost]

1 hour ago, LolJustAdmitMe said:

Wow. I had no idea research was so limited in Brazil :/ Which schools are you applying too? There are tons of American schools and sometimes it’s better to aim for lower ranked schools due to all the applications higher ranked schools receive! Overall, it seems like you’re super motivated, especially since you’re planning to move to the US! I’m sure they’ll see that in your applications!

Thank you so much for the kind words. I am still hoping for the best

[CautiouslyOptimistic2020]

Thank you! I feel similarly! I applied to UCCS, Wyoming, NIU and Birmingham. All of these schools are within my range (or so I thought) GRE scores are V 161 (88%) Q 154 (55%) W 4.5 (82%) and subject 700 (76%). I have my Master's (GPA 3.7) and my undergraduate GPA was like a 3.8. I really want these programs because they are trauma based. I presently work in crisis response (I've been WAY too distracted these past 2 days) and many of our clients are trauma victims. I want to help them but feel I lack the knowledge and experience to do so. I know I have the potential to be a great therapist and I WILL contribute to the field in a big way. I just need a chance, a foot in to door. I see others are getting interview invites from UCCS and Wyoming already (my top 2 schools) and I've heard nothing. I talk to my friends about it and they say "you can apply next year", I don't see how I will be better next year. I know it's not over, I know I haven't gotten a rejection but my refresh button on my email has been pressed so much it'd be hilarious if it weren't for the crippling self doubt. Do you think UCCS and Wyoming are done handing out interview invites or that I even have a chance? I welcome your honesty here!!!

[katpillow]

8 hours ago, phyanth said:

I'm torn. My dream schools with an amazing fit are WUSTL, UVic, and Berkeley. However, I had a sub 3.0 GPA from an awesome public uni...

I hear you. I tried hard for PhD 2 years ago when still had my undergrad GPA skeletons in the closet, but had been published. It ended up failing, but I got counteroffered to do my MS somewhere and I took the opportunity to get a shiny new GPA. Now I'm applying for PhD again, and hoping that the undergrad stuff doesn't continue to cause problems. But hey, we're trying, and I think based on your story, you should have some opportunities come your way. The stress is just getting started for me, but I know that within a months time I will probably have answers, at least.

Right now I'm more on the 'well it is whatever it is at this point' level, and slowly ramping up to flashing red lights panic mode. I'll just keep doing lab work to distract myself...

[basketballfrost]

8 hours ago, vdehoy1 said:

Thank you! I feel similarly! I applied to UCCS, Wyoming, NIU and Birmingham. All of these schools are within my range (or so I thought) GRE scores are V 161 (88%) Q 154 (55%) W 4.5 (82%) and subject 700 (76%). I have my Master's (GPA 3.7) and my undergraduate GPA was like a 3.8. I really want these programs because they are trauma based. I presently work in crisis response (I've been WAY too distracted these past 2 days) and many of our clients are trauma victims. I want to help them but feel I lack the knowledge and experience to do so. I know I have the potential to be a great therapist and I WILL contribute to the field in a big way. I just need a chance, a foot in to door. I see others are getting interview invites from UCCS and Wyoming already (my top 2 schools) and I've heard nothing. I talk to my friends about it and they say "you can apply next year", I don't see how I will be better next year. I know it's not over, I know I haven't gotten a rejection but my refresh button on my email has been pressed so much it'd be hilarious if it weren't for the crippling self doubt. Do you think UCCS and Wyoming are done handing out interview invites or that I even have a chance? I welcome your honesty here!!!

Such a inspiring story!! I do hope you get your interview invites!! And even if you don't you will find a way of helping people the way you want! Cheering for you

[LolJustAdmitMe]

15 hours ago, phyanth said:

I'm torn. My dream schools with an amazing fit are WUSTL, UVic, and Berkeley. However, I had a sub 3.0 GPA from an awesome public uni. I did well in my Master's program and had 2 publications. I'm just worried that my ugrad gpa will be a deal breaker for PhD programs. I originally had three strong letters from academics, but one of the professors was dismissed after allegations of sexual assault so I had to get a letter from my former boss, who is a pathologist. I'm also worried that my fit isn't perfect for schools and they won't be interested... Literally all I want is a fully funded offer from a decent program. Anyone who has ever worked with me has told me I am incredibly bright and am one of the best at what I do, but I don't feel it. It's so common for people in my field to not even be accepted to any programs the first round, but I've honestly have never been rejected from any colleges before so I don't know how I would handle that.  

Your worries are so relateable. I have a similar story, minus the professor being accused of sexual assault, and to be transparent I wasn’t accepted my first round of apps either. It was super discouraging, I cried a few times and gained a bit of weight. It was tough to watch others get accepted and wonder “What’s so wrong w/me?!” Luckily, I’ve learned a lot from the first round and mended a lot of those mistakes this round and have gotten better results already than last round (I was completely shut out before but now I’ve managed to weissel my way into a waiting list lol)...mind you this is with the same qualifications. Like many have said it’s sometimes all luck and depends on the group you’re up against :/

[LolJustAdmitMe]

15 hours ago, Linda Cai said:

I am from a top 5 US news university for CS and applying for a master in CS(theory). I have a good GPA with double major in CS & Math but 0 publication which is very bad. I ready on quora that a lack of publication caused by time management issues is inexplicable, and it indeed is what happened. (Although I did get some stuff done in my research, there's nothing super great). I want to leave my school for a change of environment but the only better options are nearly unreachable with my credential. 

I want to do research in theory because 1) For its elegancy and Eurekia moments of finding a new algorithm  2) For seeing the underlying principles that lies behind seemly different problems. 

My mistake is that I spent too much time enjoying problems in theory classes (which are sometimes other people's Phd lemma but after all solved problems) instead of focusing on research. Oh well there is no turning back now. Fingers crossed and will spend the next semester fixing my time management issues. 

 

Linda, you already seem 10x smarter than me haha. I have a funny feeling you will make it in to the program that fits you perfectly and if not, that’s their loss, not yours!

[phyanth]

9 hours ago, katpillow said:

I hear you. I tried hard for PhD 2 years ago when still had my undergrad GPA skeletons in the closet, but had been published. It ended up failing, but I got counteroffered to do my MS somewhere and I took the opportunity to get a shiny new GPA. Now I'm applying for PhD again, and hoping that the undergrad stuff doesn't continue to cause problems. But hey, we're trying, and I think based on your story, you should have some opportunities come your way. The stress is just getting started for me, but I know that within a months time I will probably have answers, at least.

Right now I'm more on the 'well it is whatever it is at this point' level, and slowly ramping up to flashing red lights panic mode. I'll just keep doing lab work to distract myself...

I think you will do an amazing job! You have a master's degree from an amazing school, and it sounds like you worked hard to make up for that Ugrad gpa. Keep me updated, I hope everything goes well for you this round

[phyanth]

2 hours ago, LolJustAdmitMe said:

Your worries are so relateable. I have a similar story, minus the professor being accused of sexual assault, and to be transparent I wasn’t accepted my first round of apps either. It was super discouraging, I cried a few times and gained a bit of weight. It was tough to watch others get accepted and wonder “What’s so wrong w/me?!” Luckily, I’ve learned a lot from the first round and mended a lot of those mistakes this round and have gotten better results already than last round (I was completely shut out before but now I’ve managed to weissel my way into a waiting list lol)...mind you this is with the same qualifications. Like many have said it’s sometimes all luck and depends on the group you’re up against :/

It sounds like you really took an unfortunate situation and made it work for you so that you're more successful this round! I hope you are admitted somewhere, you already have more positive results than last round  

[phyanth]

20 hours ago, basketballfrost said:

Why it means so much:

I am an international student, here in Brazil we don't have the insfrastructure nor the personal to conduct the research we want. I have high hopes in the US I would be able to use the top notch research facilities to investigate neuroscience... But aparently I am not going to

Did you already hear back from programs? Even if you aren't admitted, I would reach out to professors and see what you can do to improve the strength of your application for next round!

[phyanth]

18 hours ago, Linda Cai said:

I am from a top 5 US news university for CS and applying for a master in CS(theory). I have a good GPA with double major in CS & Math but 0 publication which is very bad. I ready on quora that a lack of publication caused by time management issues is inexplicable, and it indeed is what happened. (Although I did get some stuff done in my research, there's nothing super great). I want to leave my school for a change of environment but the only better options are nearly unreachable with my credential. 

I want to do research in theory because 1) For its elegancy and Eurekia moments of finding a new algorithm  2) For seeing the underlying principles that lies behind seemly different problems. 

My mistake is that I spent too much time enjoying problems in theory classes (which are sometimes other people's Phd lemma but after all solved problems) instead of focusing on research. Oh well there is no turning back now. Fingers crossed and will spend the next semester fixing my time management issues. 

 

I wouldn't fret too much, I think you have a plan in mind and I have no doubt that you will execute it to the best of your ability!

[phyanth]

12 hours ago, vdehoy1 said:

Thank you! I feel similarly! I applied to UCCS, Wyoming, NIU and Birmingham. All of these schools are within my range (or so I thought) GRE scores are V 161 (88%) Q 154 (55%) W 4.5 (82%) and subject 700 (76%). I have my Master's (GPA 3.7) and my undergraduate GPA was like a 3.8. I really want these programs because they are trauma based. I presently work in crisis response (I've been WAY too distracted these past 2 days) and many of our clients are trauma victims. I want to help them but feel I lack the knowledge and experience to do so. I know I have the potential to be a great therapist and I WILL contribute to the field in a big way. I just need a chance, a foot in to door. I see others are getting interview invites from UCCS and Wyoming already (my top 2 schools) and I've heard nothing. I talk to my friends about it and they say "you can apply next year", I don't see how I will be better next year. I know it's not over, I know I haven't gotten a rejection but my refresh button on my email has been pressed so much it'd be hilarious if it weren't for the crippling self doubt. Do you think UCCS and Wyoming are done handing out interview invites or that I even have a chance? I welcome your honesty here!!!

Have hope! I know, at least for my field, that even when schools interview some applicants, they don't interview everyone that they give offers to because they don't need to interview someone they are sure of. The interviews are usually for people on the cusp!

[TheScienceHoney]

Thank you for this thread. I feel like I constantly have to maintain this confidence that I will get in, get funding, and do amazing research, when I know that statistically, there's a small chance. I have been trying to distract myself with the holidays and watching all the Netflix shows/reading all the books I put off until after applications, but worrying about graduate school applications keeps me up at night. I've always had impostor syndrome pretty bad, but it's never been anything like this! 

I haven't heard back from any schools yet, but I'm not worried at this point because at least according to the results survey here not many people have heard back from the programs I applied to. I'm a little bit worried about impressing the programs I applied to because I have extensive research experience in medical microbiology but I am more interested in studying environmental microbiology. I was young and didn't really know what I wanted to do when I accepted the job I did as a research technician - I really didn't even know anything about the path to a PhD, or the different kinds of research experiences, or anything, really. I was originally planning to apply to medical school, however after shadowing doctors I decided I liked working in a lab a lot more, but I didn't want to quit my med micro job because I needed the money and I did enjoy it, as well as learn a lot and get four pubs out. It's just that I don't know a ton of hands-on stuff about environmental micro aside from an undergrad course or two so I worry that my research experience won't be seen as relevant. Ugh. Idk. I keep making excuses in my head for why places won't admit me but I need to stop because at this point, I don't know if they're admitting me or not! Just need to wait, focus on finishing the research I'm doing now, and be hopeful  My GPA and GREs are all within the average range of the programs I applied to (or at least meet the minimum), I had two outstanding LORs and one very good one, four pubs with two as first author and another middle author publication on the way, have designed, carried out, analyzed, and refined my own experiments, presented posters of original work at conferences, oh and I totally played the LGBT diversity card in all my applications...I have no shame  so hopefully at least one school thinks I am worthy of admission.

 

[basketballfrost]

1 hour ago, phyanth said:

Did you already hear back from programs? Even if you aren't admitted, I would reach out to professors and see what you can do to improve the strength of your application for next round!

Will definitely do that, I will wait until January though. I believe that my grades weren't good enough, specially without any chemistry courses in my curriculum. That is a very big low.

Thanks for the tips

[LolJustAdmitMe]

It’d be weird if I made this post and never shared my own feelings during this process, so I’ll share. For short, I have a lot of mixed feelings. This is my second round applying to PhD programs. I’ve watched my friends whom said they only wanted to get their PhD “for the title” get into PhD programs. I’ve had friends state that they wanted to get into the easiest program they could (one of them is flunking out rn) and get into programs. Despite the fact I felt my intentions were pure, motivated and shared the same educational background as them, I’ve failed to get into a program. In the past yr I’ve felt so embarrassed by it as countless people would ask “Why didn’t you get in??” and I have no good answer. But despite being left speechless by the question, it also hurts. Going into this round of applications felt more meaningful for me. I started to realize how EXPENSIVE it’s become. I’ve become more invested in the programs, POIs and the application process. This round would hurt even more than the last if I strike out, again. I’ve put so much effort and time in and I know I’m up against a million great applicants but *GOD* all I need is one shot. Just one interview and I have faith I could make into a Program. But I’m almost positive my GRE scores are the sole reason most schools would pass me up, despite all the great accomplishments I could bring to the table. So far this round, I have been rejected by one School and waitlisted by my top choice (which is a miracle in comparison to last yr’s turnout). I was heartbroken to not receive an invite but then I realized how lucky I was that they even considered to put me on their waiting list, which helped me stop crying and moping around about it.... So basically I’m super emotionally involved. I spend most of my work day worrying about it, hoping and praying I hear good news back but it really sucks when the odds are stacked disgustingly high against you. That’s all.

[CautiouslyOptimistic2020]

50 minutes ago, LolJustAdmitMe said:

It’d be weird if I made this post and never shared my own feelings during this process, so I’ll share. For short, I have a lot of mixed feelings. This is my second round applying to PhD programs. I’ve watched my friends whom said they only wanted to get their PhD “for the title” get into PhD programs. I’ve had friends state that they wanted to get into the easiest program they could (one of them is flunking out rn) and get into programs. Despite the fact I felt my intentions were pure, motivated and shared the same educational background as them, I’ve failed to get into a program. In the past yr I’ve felt so embarrassed by it as countless people would ask “Why didn’t you get in??” and I have no good answer. But despite being left speechless by the question, it also hurts. Going into this round of applications felt more meaningful for me. I started to realize how EXPENSIVE it’s become. I’ve become more invested in the programs, POIs and the application process. This round would hurt even more than the last if I strike out, again. I’ve put so much effort and time in and I know I’m up against a million great applicants but *GOD* all I need is one shot. Just one interview and I have faith I could make into a Program. But I’m almost positive my GRE scores are the sole reason most schools would pass me up, despite all the great accomplishments I could bring to the table. So far this round, I have been rejected by one School and waitlisted by my top choice (which is a miracle in comparison to last yr’s turnout). I was heartbroken to not receive an invite but then I realized how lucky I was that they even considered to put me on their waiting list, which helped me stop crying and moping around about it.... So basically I’m super emotionally involved. I spend most of my work day worrying about it, hoping and praying I hear good news back but it really sucks when the odds are stacked disgustingly high against you. That’s all.

I feel everyone here feels similarly to varying degrees, so massive thank you for starting this thread. Good news is you are taking it in stride and looking at the bright side. I wish I could provide more solace outside of simply validating your feelings but being in the same boat, that's all I can do. You have every right to be stressed and I know how much this must mean to you. However, I think we must all be mindful: what will be will be. The time where we could still actively do something stopped when we pressed that submit button and torturing ourselves with the unknown only hurts us and our loved ones that have to put up with us.  So stay strong my friend, keep looking at that silver lining and binge watch Netflix holiday specials. Hopefully listening to others stories here and knowing you aren't alone helps (I know it's helping me) and we can get through this together. **Hops off dramatic soap box**

[Carly Rae Jepsen]

Well, I'm obviously very much into school and continuing my education. I like studying for the sake of it, but making it a career is a plus. 

I'm back at living with my parents and while they were kind to take me back as a college graduate, it hasn't been easy at times. I want an emancipation, so getting into a program is a very big deal.

I'm not even sure I have ranked the schools I applied to, since I consider them to be great in their ways. I don't feel very attached to Stanford because it feels to me like an instant rejection. Same with Chicago, but getting in would be amazing. The school has a great reputation (that would help with future job offers) and is in a wonderful city.

I picture myself in the other schools quite often, but just as often I doubt they'll consider me seriously. I am very optimistic about Rutgers though, because the chair e-mailed me to say she liked my statement of purpose (and remind me not to miss any materials before the deadline).

It's strange, but right now we're all thinking that we can't wait to start our Ph.Ds, but if we get in a program we'll have endless work and be stressed haha. So I'll try to enjoy the peace for now. Venting out in this forum/support group helps a lot, as I'm not surrounded anymore by other students who are trying to get into graduate school as well.

[khigh]

I applied to one program because I love the city I moved to and want to stay for quite awhile.  This has me both excited and freaked out- freaked out enough that I have woken up crying.  It is really my last chance, first year applying, but I'm getting too old to chase this dream.  If this doesn't work this year, I need to buckle down and just work. I know it's not the end of the world and won't kill me, but I want my PhD more than anything. I took a gap year this year, so there is nothing to concentrate on other than going to work, coming home, reading, taking care of the rabbits, and trying to find time to be outside when it's still light (sun sets at 4:00 this time of year). I should find out within the next month whether or not I will get in. 

[katpillow]

2 hours ago, khigh said:

I applied to one program because I love the city I moved to and want to stay for quite awhile.  This has me both excited and freaked out- freaked out enough that I have woken up crying.  It is really my last chance, first year applying, but I'm getting too old to chase this dream.  If this doesn't work this year, I need to buckle down and just work. I know it's not the end of the world and won't kill me, but I want my PhD more than anything. I took a gap year this year, so there is nothing to concentrate on other than going to work, coming home, reading, taking care of the rabbits, and trying to find time to be outside when it's still light (sun sets at 4:00 this time of year). I should find out within the next month whether or not I will get in. 

Too old for a dream? Never in a million years, even. You may be older than me (I have no idea), but if the dream is something you long for, don't let anything stop you. For my programs, I'm on the older end of the applicant pool, and for a while it really bothered me, deep down. I'm not actually old, it just feels like I am because the average age of the incoming class for my programs tends to float around 23-24 at most. I'll be hitting 30 when I (hopefully) start this fall, and though it still has an impact on certain aspects of my adult life (cough cough, income, social pool, etc), I have learned to not give a damn and just roll with it. I currently room with two history PhD students, they're a cool crowd. I hope that it all works out for you!!!

Minneapolis is a pretty cool city, though.