lemma

I think as we move through our twenties, being able to just casually meet our life partner gets less and less probable (though is certainly far from impossible). I think this is becoming a larger problem these days because people compartmentalize social situations - here's hanging with the friends, here's going on a tinder date, here's playing sport. I would recommend looking into settings that are for single people, and being patient. I was pretty much single for a year and a half when I met my partner (despite casual dating here and there). In addition to tinder and online dating, most cities have various meetup groups for singles. Persistence is key, though. 
I would also keep on being open to different people, and not trying to fit anything to a particular situation. I met my (now de facto) partner on tinder, and blew off our arranged date the first time. The second time, I was very close to a last minute cancellation as I was hanging out with close friends I hadn't seen in four years. On paper, we were pretty different - I was an ivy league investment banker and he was a math teacher who loved playing strategy games (something I knew nothing about). My job also had me working 80-120 hours a week, and I wasn't sure that someone who didn't move in that world would get it. Despite all of the differences, we fell in love quickly and it turned out we were very compatible intellectually, aspirationally and culturally (despite being an interracial couple - caucasian girl, asian guy). I still pinch myself that he almost slipped through my fingers because he wasn't the type of guy I usually dated. We have gone through a lot of life changes together, and these days the government considers us legally married. 

I cried in front of one of my professors on my third day of undergrad. I think some other students also saw. I was a long way from home and feeling culture shock, and was struggling to understand the class - I was overprepared for half of it, and very underprepared for the other half of the class. 
She was very compassionate, and spent an hour and a half with me in her office working through my reading that week. I had to work so hard in that class, and she helped me immensely. 
We're all human, you know? Sometimes, no matter how well we usually manage ourselves, emotions can be really strong. I would think quite negative things about a professor who ostracized a student who was vulnerable. It feels really bad to be that overwhelmed, and I think most people (including professors) are empathetic enough. 

I have disability registration. My accommodations are minimal for the moment, as my psychiatrist does not want me sitting any assessments if very unwell (I have bad cognitive effects when symptomatic and have been hospitalised several times in the past). I have discussed this with disability services, so we have a plan of what to do should I have a major relapse. 
The everyday accommodations I have are flexibility in assignment deadlines (the specifics are negotiated with the professor), and exam accommodations. I requested bathroom breaks as lithium makes me need to drink a lot of water, and if I don't I start vomiting. I'm also allowed to take anxiety medication and food into the exam. 
Other accommodations I considered were extra time in exams, but my psychiatrist said that if my thinking is impaired I should not sit the assessment, and the disability office head agreed. If I end up having exams scheduled for the early morning, I may request to have them moved, as I'm on a maximum dose of a sedating antipsychotic. 
They also mentioned that if I'm too unwell to attend class, they can organise a note taker. I also have access to additional supplementary exams than usual if I'm too sick to take my final exams. 
The way my university works, I think they notified my supervisor, PhD coordinator and coursework professors with a form from the disability office in their template. The diagnosis was left off, but symptoms were included. I am trying to not use my assignment accommodations unless I need them because I don't want to be "that student", given the professors I'm dealing with will be my colleagues. But I have no shame in asking for help when I need it. 

Congrats on getting the schizophrenia under control and working hard on your health! I have a condition with some shared symptoms, and I elected to not tell my supervisors, but I did register with the disability office. I also had to take time off during undergrad due to some major episodes, and am also doing much better these days, but I knew that doing nothing wasn't an option, because if I relapsed I wouldn't be in a state to organize accommodations. 
I have had a really good experience with the disability office, and I recommend seeking them out and getting registered. They can act on your behalf if needed. I haven't told my supervisors, but they know I spent a long time in hospital a while back. If I were to relapse, I would explain as needed. Unfortunately there is a lot of stigma regarding mental health, so I would keep things vague until you get to know them - maybe something like "a few years ago I was really unwell with a chronic medical condition. Things have been under control for a while now, but if become sick again I might need to take some time out to get better. I've spoken to the disability office and will work with them in the worst-case scenario that I get sick again."
I have a friend who disclosed bipolar II to his supervisor, and it went well. But people tend to understand depression much more than psychosis. 
Wishing you a really positive masters experience!

Got notified that I received two scholarships for my top choice PhD program. What a good email! 

My biggest piece of advice would be to take on less than what you think you can handle. It looks much worse to step down from a commitment than to not take it on in the first place. Unfortunately I've had to do just that, which is also another source of anxiety in itself. 

Ivy degrees are often regarded as being valuable because of the strong alumni networks. I will say, however, that there is a hierarchy. At least at my undergrad, students in the college felt next to no connection with the graduate/professional schools, and many openly stated that they thought the terminal masters students in most areas weren't subject to the same academic rigor in either the coursework or the admissions process. It's elitist, but that's just how it was. I can see alumni of the college being most willing to talk to graduates from the college, followed by the law and medical schools, as well as PhD programs. I can also see many of these alums having little time for masters graduates. 

Congrats on getting the schizophrenia under control and working hard on your health! I have a condition with some shared symptoms, and I elected to not tell my supervisors, but I did register with the disability office. I also had to take time off during undergrad due to some major episodes, and am also doing much better these days, but I knew that doing nothing wasn't an option, because if I relapsed I wouldn't be in a state to organize accommodations. 
I have had a really good experience with the disability office, and I recommend seeking them out and getting registered. They can act on your behalf if needed. I haven't told my supervisors, but they know I spent a long time in hospital a while back. If I were to relapse, I would explain as needed. Unfortunately there is a lot of stigma regarding mental health, so I would keep things vague until you get to know them - maybe something like "a few years ago I was really unwell with a chronic medical condition. Things have been under control for a while now, but if become sick again I might need to take some time out to get better. I've spoken to the disability office and will work with them in the worst-case scenario that I get sick again."
I have a friend who disclosed bipolar II to his supervisor, and it went well. But people tend to understand depression much more than psychosis. 
Wishing you a really positive masters experience!

Would it be appropriate to suggest he leaves and comes back to a lab once he has some more academic experience under his belt? I think leaving now with an explanation to the PI about how he doesn't have the skills yet is a much better option than termination. However, it also isn't fair on you or the PI to spend resources getting him up to speed as that comes at a cost.
I worry that if he is terminated, it will do a lot of harm to his self esteem and enjoyment of STEM. I would be gutted in his position.

My research trajectory for the next few years is finally coming together. Excited!

Thank you for your message.
My emotions aren't the best these days. I created this thread in November 2017 and my mental state has worsen regarding this. A guy I was dating asked me a few weeks ago if I could present him to a female friend. He basically said "you're brillant, beautiful, fun to be around but I don't love you."
I cannot count the number of times I've had men telling me something remotely similar to that.
You are good to remain hopeful. I have sincerely lost hope regarding this. I feel devastated and ashamed to be devastated over something like this, at my age. I don't know why it hurts so much.

I would have a frank talk to him (though leave out the risk of being fired). If he's struggling a lot, he's probably not having fun. And maybe he's just terrible in a wet lab! It doesn't mean that he would be terrible as a doctor, in a computational setting or doing something more biomedical engineering related. And he should know that there are other options, and just because he doesn't have a good intuition for this project doesn't mean he can't be a good scientist. 

Congrats on getting the schizophrenia under control and working hard on your health! I have a condition with some shared symptoms, and I elected to not tell my supervisors, but I did register with the disability office. I also had to take time off during undergrad due to some major episodes, and am also doing much better these days, but I knew that doing nothing wasn't an option, because if I relapsed I wouldn't be in a state to organize accommodations. 
I have had a really good experience with the disability office, and I recommend seeking them out and getting registered. They can act on your behalf if needed. I haven't told my supervisors, but they know I spent a long time in hospital a while back. If I were to relapse, I would explain as needed. Unfortunately there is a lot of stigma regarding mental health, so I would keep things vague until you get to know them - maybe something like "a few years ago I was really unwell with a chronic medical condition. Things have been under control for a while now, but if become sick again I might need to take some time out to get better. I've spoken to the disability office and will work with them in the worst-case scenario that I get sick again."
I have a friend who disclosed bipolar II to his supervisor, and it went well. But people tend to understand depression much more than psychosis. 
Wishing you a really positive masters experience!

Those would be fine to me. I complement people on their new haircuts or clothes all the time (and to a broad spectrum of people so it's pretty obvious there's nothing more to it), as well as comment on other things like nice photos they put on Facebook or non-academic writing that they've shown me. I do it because I like to try and help people feel good about themselves, and I'm sure that the hypothetical professor could have been doing just that. 
But the wink and the "on you" would have really thrown me. Even just reading that makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. 

There's nothing wrong with tattoos in academia. They're super common, and they don't necessarily read as unprofessional or off-putting. I think you should feel free to expose them if you want, even while teaching.
Your professor's comment was inappropriate and pretty creepy...but it's not your fault, and there's nothing you should do in reaction to it. The problem is with him. Commenting on people's bodies is always dicey, but even then there are still so many ways he could've given you a compliment on your tattoo without making it creepy (e.g., as you mentioned, without the wink and the 'on you.')
I know it's difficult not to be self-conscious, but try not to let this incident make you self-conscious about your tattoo or your body, much less make you cover it up.
 

Keep it short and simple. Any thank yous can be done in person or in a thank you card. The resignation letter is effectively a legal document. 
Hand it to your boss in person - email would be inappropriate in my opinion. Arrange to meet privately (book in a time), resign, and give him the hard-copy letter. Follow up with the resignation letter attached to an email, and cc HR if your company has a HR. 

I got an interview to work as a RA in a lab that's directly tied to my master's research topic for 2018-2019. I'll be quite busy next year, but fully involved and committed to my research topic. 

After going through the emotional rollercoaster of my advisor leaving my new uni and perfect program last minute and having the do the first year with him through Skype, I sorta feel better today. First I felt shocked (like wtf), then I felt angry (like why me), then I felt sad (don't wanna leave that place). Now I realize having options can also be a good thing haha. And the new school isn't that bad either. Research topic wise and career wise it could be better. Just loved the set up of the other program and the culture there. Meh. Still, gonna rock this year and decide somewhere along the wya. 

I went outside to have brunch with my sister and my brother today. Paid for them both and myself. 

same things happens to me too! We're way too hard on ourselves, we need to be more confident about your abilities :) congrats!

I got a high distinction in the midterm I thought I had failed. Yay!

I got a high distinction in the midterm I thought I had failed. Yay!

Go for it! Make sure you have a safety net and are in a supportive program. That might mean sacrificing some prestige to have a program with a good culture and close to your support network.
So many of us have mental illnesses of varying degrees of severity. I was working in my office the other day and there were only three of us in - the other two were talking about their depression and anxiety. Little did they know that 100% of us in at that time had diagnosed mood and anxiety disorders. And I thought a lot of people had mental illness in my undergrad... 

Can you defer (or reject) the American offer, find work as a research assistant in Egypt and then wait for the outcome in Australia? Presumably if you don't get admitted (the easy part) and receive a scholarship (the harder part) you can reapply in the American system a year later. One year probably isn't the biggest deal especially if you can find relevant work in the interim to boost your CV. 
I'm not going to ask why you prefer the Australian program, because I assume you've done your research and this is something you really want. Australian and American PhD programs are very different structurally, and Australia and the US are also very different places to live in among developed nations, so I can see why you might have a strong preference even before research is concerned. 

I'm still fairly new to TA life, so here are some lessons I've learned so far: 
Be firm and consistent. When you start making allowances for one student, you start making them for every student, and this will blow up in your face if you're teaching a large class. If you're firm and consistent from the beginning, the students will do what they need to do to get their work in on time or to get feedback they need.  Separate your impression of a student's attitude from your impression of their work. For students who have a good attitude and are engaged, spend the time giving them feedback so they can improve and properly earn a high grade. Our natural human instinct is to help out people we like, but especially for classes graded on a curve, if we bump a student up unfairly, another student is pulled down unfairly.  Give feedback as soon as you can so that students have the time to learn.  Save all of your materials down so that you can reuse them for future semesters.  You might end up teaching content you never learned when you took the class yourself, especially if you're teaching at a new university. See if you can get materials from a previous semester to get ahead, and don't feel ashamed to reach out to the other TAs if necessary.