ShewantsthePhD101

out loud

Class act

I just heard back! Wait-listed...

Derby hat

Boston U has officially announced. I just got my standard "Thanks, but not thanks" email from them. Bummer. Best of luck to everyone who winds up there!

Who the heck waits til MARCH to notify? Do they HATE us???

So... from what I've gathered it seems like some schools announce acceptances first, but some announce rejections first? Is that right? We should start hearing from more schools soon, right?

Contacting people currently in their PhD is common practice. You're totally fine!

WHY ARE PEOPLE HEARING BACK AND I'M NOT?!

Anybody know when the Religious Studies department is set to announce?

gotcha gotcha gotcha. Not trying to fight. The categories of "competitive" and "non-competitive" are just a lot more confusing than your last sentence there.

But they're both still competitive. One is competing against other students and one is competing against the idea of what an xyz student should be. I would think a non-competitive interview would be a visitation weekend. Meeting people once you've already been accepted. This seems like an arbitrary line to draw. Regardless of whether you're competing against 11 other sudents for 1 of 6 slots or simply interviewing to ensure a fit - the interviews fulfill the same purpose. You're still trying to convince the university to want you.

...what is the difference between a competitive and a non-competitive interview?

pop psych

cheap date

Vine is dead. And has been for a long while lol

Apple products. All of them. Not user-friendly. Overpriced status symbols.

I'm fat. And none of my professional clothes that looked good on me before grad school fit anymore. Which means I have to get new clothes for interviews and all I've been able to find is ungodly expensive or the most unflattering clothes I've seen in my whole life. Additionally, my weight is likely to hurt me in interviews because there is a demonstrable bias towards fat people when interviewing for jobs.

Yes. Yes it is. When I have classes with people like this, I wait until the last minute to show up, make sure I sit as far away from them as possible and avoid eye contact when I can. I stay around the other women in the class, do not give them my phone numbers, and generally try to pretend I don't notice them because otherwise I'm worried I'll get followed, spammed with messages etc. I'm 24, but I look like I'm about 19, and I don't want or need this kind of attention. In undergrad we had a guy in his early 30's getting his BA for the first time, and he was blatantly looking for a wife amongst us 18-19 year olds. I tried to be at a bare minimum not evil towards him because all the other women in my class told him where he could shove his perv attitudes and obsessions. To this day, because I tolerated him 6 years ago, I still get facebook friend requests every couple of months. I finally had to tell him we were not friends then and I have no interest in being friends or anything else now and to please stop trying to add me on facebook, commenting on my comments on mutual friends' pages, etc. Some men, especially older men who specifically want to date younger girls, do so because they know they don't have the self-esteem or social skills to date someone their own age. Instead of working on getting to that level on their own, they either want to use younger girls to practice their romantic endeavors to "build up" to something more reasonable (like the op saying he'd probably only date the mythical girl who worships his every move for a few months because his romantic curiosity is greater than his attention span...ew) or because they think that a younger woman will not be wise enough or brave enough to notice or call out their inappropriate behaviour. Unfortunately, they're right. When I meet guys like this in mixed classes (my university has some classes that are undergards-PhDs) I warn the young women who seem open to something to be careful because I've learned first hand what an inconvenience kindness can be. I actually wound up having a guy stalk me for a short while when I was younger because I didn't tell him to shove it when everyone else did. Age differences don't matter as much when the youngest party is 22+ because at that point, they have a little life experience, a little independence, and a more fully developed frontal lobe. But never should a PhD candidate be looking to date undergrads, specifically freshman or sophomores.

It is actually considered courteous to the universities to which you have applied to withdraw your application upon your decision to attend elsewhere. This saves them the time from carefully considering your application and allows them to over your potential slot to other scholars who may desire it. A general "I appreciate the opportunity to apply/attend(if you've been accepted) to XYZ University. I am writing to thank you for that opportunity, and also to inform you that I have accepted an admissions offer elsewhere... blah blah blah - thank you for your time" should be more than fine. As long as you are respectful, it shouldn't damage any further opportunities. All universities know their applicants apply multiple places and can only accept one.

@TakeruK, I appreciate you taking the time to craft a thoughtful reply. As of now, this is the only university to which I have been accepted, but I do not anticipate it being the only one. There are things about the program I like, and things I have been unsure of, but until now, nothing I found expressly problematic. My undergraduate university also had administrative issues, and while they were not frequently problematic, they were highly so as their issues pertained to financing and graduation. For me, I suppose this is a "once bitten, twice shy" scenario. The main concern I have is that this is the time (when they have accepted me but I have not yet accepted them) that they should be trying to a certain extent to get my attention. To woo me, if you will. And nothing about the "let's dangle $10,000 in front of her and then not give her the things necessary for her to achieve said offer" screams "we want you and will take care of you when you get here". I don't want to spend the next 5+ years fighting with my university to be given what I have been offered. The department has said that they will take care of this on my behalf... several times. And while I do believe they are trying, they have yet to be successful. So now it is not just me wrestling with the administration, but the department itself. And I don't know that I want to go to a school where the administration won't work with its departments. I know a few students there, however. I suppose asking them if this kind of thing is normal can't hurt.

If you were accepted to a university who offered you an opportunity to apply for a significant grant, and then for two weeks despite repeated requests has failed to provide you with the necessary materials to complete the application, how would you feel? The department has expressed great interest in me and been thoroughly welcoming, but the administrative failure to provide me with what I need has me balking at acceptance. This feels like a harbinger of things to come. Am I overreacting? Or is it fair to assume that this may well be indicative of a more pervasive problem?

"If in doubt, don't." If you're unsure and this is just a matter of preference not urgency, I'd stay.

I'd really like those floodgates to open *now*. I'm on the results page more frequently than I should be. Harvard has already sent out a PhD rejection. UNC Chapel hill has already sent out several decisions. Yale has interviewed several. I've heard from none of them...

Aaaaaaaaaand we're back to nausea...